AN: Hello everyone! I've had this idea on my laptop for a while, it was going to end up being a full on story, but writers block hit me. When I read back through it I thought 'why not make it a one shot' so here it is! I just want to say a massive thank you to Morgan (WolfishGod), my best friend who reads through everything I write before I publish it - so thank you sis :)
My sympathies to all who are affected by the Terrorist Attacks in Paris, thinking of you all!

TRIGGER WARNING! Contains Brief mention of Self Harm

Disclaimer: I still don't own Merlin... *Goes and cries in a corner*
_

"Come on mate, please" Gwaine says for what seems to be the hundredth time. The knight has now resorted to fluttering his eyelashes
"No!" I say, annoyance radiating through my tone "you have no idea how...devastating a vision from a crystal can be." I tell him and cross my arms, starting to wish I hadn't told them about my magic.
"As your king I order you to see where we need to attack from!" Arthur says from the other side of the round table and I shoot him an angry glare, the outsides of my eyes flashing gold dangerously "I never listen to your orders" I retort trying to rein my power in "I wouldn't wish my worst enemies to look into a bloody crystal" I tell him and he just snorts in amusement, causing me to deepen my glare, my magic swirls in the air around me, causing Sir Leon and Sir Lancelot to back away slightly, goose pimples covering their arms "Merlin" Gaius says warningly and I close my eyes trying to pull my magic back under my skin. It works and I open my eyes again, my senses are heightened and I know my eyes are glowing permanent gold. "Cool" Gwaine says staring at me and I shoot him a glare, he flinches back slightly "not cool Gwaine. Currently I can't hold my magic in, and if I let go it might even kill you all in a second. So no, definitely NOT cool!" I growl between my teeth and Gwaine gulps fearfully.

Arthur places something down on the table and I feel my magic try to pull towards it. I hiss as I feel a sharp pain in my chest, trying to hold it back. I turn my gaze to where Arthur is sitting back down, and catch a reflection out of the corner of my eye, immediately flicking towards it I feel my magic pull it closer and my eyes stay locked on the object.
"I hate you Arthur" I tell him with so much venom I shock myself, my eyes never leaving the crystal sitting on the table in front of me. I gingerly pick the crystal up, feeling the power inside. My shaking hands still as I release some of my magic into the crystal.

The vision shows a battle field and I know instinctively it Camlann, I feel tears running down my face in horror as I watch Mordred stab Arthur and I flinch, watching in horror as my best friend dies in front of me. The image flickers to me and a boat - the lake of Avalon I note and I watch as I burn my brother, both my future self and I crying.
The image then skips to Camelot where a funeral pyre is being held. "The queen is dead. Long live the king!" Is chanted throughout the kingdom.
A young boy, around twenty one who has just come I age gets crowned "King Adrian Pendragon! Long may he reign" is chanted around the throne room.
I follow my future self as I walk to Camelot's grave yard - standing in front of a plaque, listing the dates of deaths for all of the Knights of the Round Table, Gaius, My Mother, Arthur and Gwen. But my names not on there. It's been thirty years since Arthur's death I work out, as I watch the stone mason chisel Gwen's name into the stone. My future self looks exactly the same as I do now - wearing different clothes but my features are exactly the same.
The crystals change to a dark chambers and I watch as my future self cries, before pulling out a knife and digging it into his wrists. The scene changes to morning and my future self wakes up - completely alive - the only thing that's different are the freshly healed scars on my wrists. There is blood covering the sheets, the floor everywhere, enough for a dead man. But I'm there staring at it in shock and disappointment.
The next vision shows my future self in some kind of soldier uniform. I'm holding some weird contraption with a knife on the end, standing in a very muddy trench. One man near me blows a whistle "last orders men!" He yells, explosions can be heard over him "over the top. The Great War has lasted for four years, not until the expected Two months. But you are all doing the deed for king and country. On November the First 1918, on my third whistle, may the gods save you!" He announces and I climb the closest ladder. The third whistle blows and I launch myself over the top, only to be assaulted by what reminds me of hundreds of tiny arrows. All the men around me are killed; I'm left standing alone in a muddy field, bleeding but alive on no man's land.
The next screen seems to be many years later, this time I'm donning my 'Dragoon the great' disguise and I walk past what looks like the lake of Avalon, the island visible through the thick fog. Suddenly some weird metal thing comes speeding past and my future self doesn't seem surprised - it's normal for him. He pulls out a stack of paper titled "The Daily Telegraph Newspaper Glastonbury Tor" I stare in shock at the date - 24 December 2012. Over fifteen centuries away from now.

The final vision shows me on some kind of stage, with Arthur, Gwen, The Knights of the Round Table and...Morgana? There is a banner stating the date as 1st January 2015 - what would be my 1437th anniversary of my birth. They also state 'Merlin Q&A', which I can't help but frown at. There's a crowd in front of us and we are all smiling.
The vision fades but a voice echoes to me from the glowing object "you've been pretending for so long now...you've forgotten who you are"

I still stare at the crystal. Angry at Arthur, but I can't bring myself to bring myself over the shock and horror of what I have to face over my 'lifetime'. I send a glare towards the offending crystal, and grit my teeth. Without warning the object bursts into flames and smoulders into ashes in front of everyone's eyes.

"Merlin!" Arthur yelps but I ignore him, pulling my face into my hands and clutching at my hair tightly, trying to get a grip on reality. A hand pulls off my shoulder and I turn to see a very green Gwaine run to the window and throw up violently. After a few minutes he dry heaves and wipes his mouth before turning back to face us.

"You saw it didn't you" I ask and he nods "now you know what I mean" I tell him before pulling my knees up to my chest and leaning against the back of the chair, a few tears still run down my face "I've never seen you like that" Gwaine says eventually, getting a tankard of mead of a servant and sitting back down "in the last vision?" I ask him and he nods "nor have I" I comment
"What was it?" Arthur asks and I frown "I was..." I trail off trying to find the right words "happy. Truly alive after all those..." Gwaine makes hand gestures and I sigh "how much did you see?" I ask him and he shudders slightly "from the boat" he says and I flinch slightly, a few more tears running down my face as I try and block out the image of Arthur burning. "Never thought I'd see the date of my own death" Gwaine comments and I snap my head up from where I had begun to stare at the floor "I think I will be lucky if I even get one" I comment dryly
"What do you mean?" Arthur snaps looking at both of us.
"We saw the future. The distant future. Make that nearly two thousand years into the future" I comment freezing as I think about all those years alone. A coldness settles in my heart as my mouth drops open slightly, trying to get my head around it.
"Bloody hell" I comment as I pull at my hair, my head snapping to Gwaine who's eyes are wide "I can think of a lot worse words in your situation mate" Gwaine comments ignoring the glare Gaius is sending us, and the shocked one of Arthur "Camelot will just be a memory. Like it never happened" I state, eyes locked with Gwaine's "Christ how many millions will I watch die?! That's not even... I can't process it" I tell Gwaine who is looking at me shocked."You will all be dust and I will still be here. Whose sick idea was this?" I yell into my arms as I slam my head against the table.
"What are you talking about?!" Arthur demands, I can feel his stare on us.
"We saw several visions of the future" Gwaine says monotone "ranging from thirty years after Gwen's death, to two thousand years in the future. Merlin's in everyone" he states. The whole room as a collective goes silent and I sigh "I should have died. That one time, Must have been 100 years later. That much blood - no one can survive that" I say, pulling my head back up "there must be away because how do I live like that? Decades will pass like seconds. I doubt I will even be able to remember you all. How...cruel is that. How is it even possible?!" I ask no one but look back at Gwaine who shrugs sympathetically.
I hear Gaius shift awkwardly and spin round to face him. "You knew" I state, obvious due to the guilty look on his face "you knew and you never told me?!" I yell "what were you going to do? Wait until everyone here dies around me and I don't age a day?!" I growl at him and he just stares back "Emrys means immortal" Gaius manages out and I stare at him "you cannot die. A blade forged in a dragon's breath can kill the living dead. But-"
"I'm a dragon lord, fire only strengthens me" I finish for him before slamming my head back down onto the table. "Why me?" I ask voice muffled "because Merlin. You are the greatest warlock to have ever lived" Gaius says and I laugh hysterically, bringing my head back up to look at Gaius "you mean the living dead? It's not natural. I already know the dates when you all die. What am I meant to do? Put it in a diary and tick off each day as it comes?! I watched as my best friend died in my arms-watched him burn as well as my sister" I say pointing to Arthur and Gwen. "I saw the headstone with all the dates. I saw the eldest
Pendragon child being crowned. I watched his rein, I watched him die. I watched as his children were crowned. I am going to fight in the 'great war' of 1918 and watch as all my fellow soldiers are killed and I remain standing" I spit out without being able to stop myself.

I walk out the council chambers, and out to the battlements to take a deep breath – Is it true? What I saw in the crystal.

Am I really immortal?

AN Thanks for reading! Please let me know if you liked/hated it

Gingerwolf96