The Matrix has Excel.
I ran down the corridor of an abandon building with Neo by my side. We were running from some agents that caught sight of us ten minutes ago when we were passing a comic convention. Even though they were deadly programs that looked over the matrix, I couldn't help but laugh. Well, more like burst a gut, making running a bit difficult.
There seemed to be a glitch in the system because we were running from none other than superman. One of the agents, for some reason, turned into the man wearing the costume, but for some reason the superman outfit stayed. The sun glasses the agents usually wore was there, but there was no business suit on those tights. And may I say those tights looked sliming on him.
"Hey," I tried clearing my throat from the giggles, "Neo."
He gave a little sigh, "Yeah?"
"Do you have any krypton?"
"...what?" He looked at me bewildered.
"It will help us to defeat superman!" I got into a fit of giggles. I tried, ladies and gentleman, but the little bubbles of laughter wouldn't go away.
"Excel, this is not the time for making jokes." He said seriously.
"Ok," I took deep breaths to control myself, "ok."
I knew it would be a bad idea look behind me, but I couldn't help myself. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back, and boy was I satisfied. Not only was superman following us, but the Ghostbusters as well. To say I became a hysterical laughing fool would be an understatement.
"~Who are you going to call? Ghost busters!~" I sang then burst into laughter once more. "Remember Neo, don't cross the streams!"
"Excel!" Trinity yelled into my ear piece, "stop laughing and start running!"
"All right," I took a big sigh then looked at Neo, "Just think Neo, we're about to get beat up by superman and the ghosts busters. How bizarre and unexpected is that! I totally didn't see this coming, did you?"
"Excel!" they both yelled.
"Alright, alright," I shook my head, "you guys need to lighten up."
We finally lost site of them after reaching the rooftop and started to jump from building to building. Though I kind of missed seeing the agents dressing up (or would it be dressing down?) for a change. No more of those plain suits. Though, if anyone could go for the men in black look, it was them.
We finally arrived to our destination, a three star hotel. I may have scared one of the guest's kid when I popped right by the window, my face planted to the glass. I heard a very high pitch scream before a very soft thud. I took a quick glance in and saw a twelve year old kid on the floor. I left before Neo saw it and scolded me.
We got into room 312 which was empty. No surprise there. Neo got to use the phone first because I was still in a fit of giggles. I couldn't be fully to blame for my actions. I didn't plan for this to happen. I didn't say, "Hey, you know what? I'm going to put a virus in the matrix so all those pesky, good looking, agents get stuck wearing the clothes from the bodies they take over. Yeah!" After I composed myself, I went to grab the phone. The door burst open and in came superman and the ghost busters. They had their guns out, aiming straight at me.
Now they weren't so funny anymore.
"Hey guys," I waved sheepishly, "It was nice seeing you again but I gotta go-."
They shot the phone.
"Well… that's not nice." I started to edge towards the window, "I thought superman was suppose to help people, not shoot them with a gun. At least use your superpowers you were born with to dispose of me! It's not good to waste talent." did I ever mention I become a blabbering idiot when I'm scared? Well you know now. "And you guys, don't you go after ghosts, not the living… though this is the virtual world, so would I be called 'a living person'? Hey, since this is a virtual world does that mean the ghosts are virtual ghosts or are they other glitches in the system?… Oh, Sorry, I'm rambling again, aren't I? Neo says I do it a lot. Do you guys think I talk too much?"
Even though they both wore the dark sunglasses, I could see they were all extremely confused. It might have been my constant rambling that got them confused or my reference to movies. They had no idea what I was talking about and looked at each other. I never saw an agent's eyebrows go up so high. They then proceeded to look themselves in the mirror right next to them. I wouldn't blame them. If I ran around town like superman or the Ghostbusters, without knowing it, I would be embarrassed as well. Do agents get embarrassed? They are computer programs so they shouldn't have feelings. But I do know for a fact the agent who I encountered a week ago was defiantly showing the emotion "pissed off". No program could portray such a human feeling so strongly as that guy. I thought the poor agent was going to pop a virtual vein.
"There seems to be a glitch." one agent said as he examined his attire.
I could hear a phone ringing in the bathroom. I was overjoyed to find the hotel had two phone. I pushed the question away on why there was a phone in the bathroom and quickly darted to the room. Some shorts were fired as I slid into the very clean and sparkly bathroom and grabbed the phone that hanged on the wall.
"To infinity and beyond!" I saluted to them before leaving the matrix and back to the real world.
It was days like these that I was happy to have known the truth. Though the part that everything being a lie was a horrible downer, there was some silver line to it. This was one of them.
CS13: Ok, this was really based off a dream I had when I was 14. It was a lot weirder than this, but I felt like I should try to keep to the Matrix logic as much as possible. or at least nondream logic. This is really just a one-shot but I have always wanted to extend it, but for now it's ending like this. Thank you for reading!