A/N: This was just an idea I had after searching through my C.D stack for something a little different. I ended up writing eight pages, and I couldn't stop… I've been told to write more Pathan, and considering I love them, I decided that I would… I'm just hoping people can get past the fact that it's Pathan if they don't like it. Imagine someone else… a 'breakdown, enter: hero' situation applies to anyone. Outlines the typicality of the 'High School Cheerleader's' life, and breaks it down to something a lot more. Could be set at anytime, anywhere. Nearly AU but not really… it is actually a Pathan, as in that they are a couple at the time. Just read it, you know you want to! Lyrics are Bon Jovi's 'I am.' Shout out to Jay for everything… the whole general support after midnight is always great. Hope this still leaves you wanting to read my Pathan stuff haha. Gabbi xx
Disclaimer: I don't own anything OTH. Or Bon Jovi. Dammit!
High School Cheerleader
Peyton Sawyer burst through the doors to her house, stomping her way up the stairs before again bursting into her bedroom.
How you spend your minutes are what matters
Slamming her pom-poms onto her bed, she turned to see her reflection in the mirror.
'What the hell am I doing?' she muttered, gazing at herself fully decked out in her Ravens cheerleading uniform.
All tomorrows come from yesterdays
Repulsed by what she saw, Peyton walked into her wardrobe in order to change out of the fake persona she exemplified every Friday night.
Throwing on a Beatles tee and jeans, she returned to her reflection.
'How did I get to be this way, how did this happen?' she pondered, 'How did I lose my misfit status? Since when have I been a cheerleader? A freakin' cheerleader for God's sake… who am I kidding?'
From her perfectly styled curls to the tip of her manicured toes, Peyton tried to picture herself before- in middle school. Before Cheerleading.
Before Brooke jumped her.
Before Nathan loved her.
When you're feeling broken, bruised and sometimes shattered
Avoiding her own eyes, she faltered for a second, unsure of how she felt.
And then a wave of nausea overcame her and she rushed over to her desk, promptly sitting herself in front of the computer.
Noticing the mess of sketches set out before her, Peyton stretched her hand out, searching for the one that had plagued her mind all night, the one depicting everything she so despised…
And everything she lived for.
Random faces, hopeless messages, High School Cheerleaders…
A four-panel comic strip of everything her life had become;
Brush perfect hair
Get straight A's
Have meaningless sex with faceless jock
Don't forget to smile
Blow out the candles on the cake like everything's a big mistake
Hypocrisy burned her innermost dignity, and as rage built within her, Peyton tore the sketch in two.
Four.
Eight.
Before shoving all her sketches off the desk and falling to the ground as her knees buckled in a moment of pure weakness.
It seems you always wait for life to happen
And your last buck can't buy a lucky break
In an effort to stop herself from screaming 'Why me?' she compensated by reaching for the spare lipstick on her desk, and crawling back to her mirror.
Determined to focus only on the lipstick, she threw the cap across her room and scrawled 'What has happened to us?' across the cold glass.
Turning away from the mirror before she was forced to look at herself again, Peyton leaned her back against her bed, her thoughts her only company.
Faces swirled through her mind, stopping on her mother.
Her mother was a Cheerleader; the reason why she had become one.
Tears dripped from her face, staining the carpet before she even realized what was happening.
If all we've got is us then life's worth living
'Peyton?'
Avoiding the gaze of the tall, dark figure in her doorway, Peyton wiped her eyes on the back of her hand before she replies, staring at the ground all the time.
'I didn't hear you come in.'
'Big surprise,' Nathan made his way over to the bed, lowering himself to the ground beside her, 'What's going on, Pey?'
Startled by the sudden warmth beside her, Peyton struggled to get up, breaking down half-way, only to end up in her boyfriend's arms.
'Hey,' he soothed, 'Shhhh. It's alright. It's gonna be alright,' stroking her hair, Nathan pulled her closer to him.
Sobbing into his chest, Peyton responded, 'It's not alright, Nathan. Nothing's right. We're all just so freakin' wrong!'
Puzzled by such an unexpected display of emotion, Nathan wanted to ask what was wrong, but something deep down within him told him that this moment was the one where everything would change, and he sure as hell didn't want to ruin it.
'You know what?'
Peyton cocked her head to the side, looking up into Nathan's eyes.
'You're right.'
Peyton's eyes widened. She never thought she's hear her boyfriend admit anything as profound as this.
'No, I'm serious,' Nathan continued, 'You're completely right. Our world revolves around nothing but Friday night games. We need more.'
'So…' The whole car-trip home, Peyton hadn't been able to think of anything other than quitting the whole 'popularity' game, nearly causing her to veer off the road more than once.
But she couldn't see past it. It had become her whole life.
And if you're in, you know I'm in
I'm ready and I'm willing
I am
'So we keep on doing it,' he finished.
Peyton scoffed, 'Yeah. Coz' that makes sense, how exactly?'
Nathan sat silently for a moment, staring into his girlfriend's mirror.
'Because what happened to us was that we grew up. We became superficial and materialistic, even though we knew it was wrong. But the thing is, Peyton; it doesn't have to be this way. I mean, if we don't do it, who will? I sure as hell couldn't live without basketball. Luc needs the outlet. Tim needs the social life. Brooke's world is Cheerleading. And hey, if you didn't have a bit of 'cheer' in your life every now and then, you'd be sitting at home alone every night, sketching your somewhat disturbing sketches with your strangely disturbing music pumping, growing steadily more and more emo. We have to live this life, Pey, because it's ours. It's what each of us needs. But how we live it is up to us. And we don't have to do it on our own, either. I'm here for you, whenever you need me…'
When you think that no-one needs you, sees you or believes you
No-one's there to understand
I am
'… I wanna be here for you, Peyton. But I need you to want me to be. I need you to let me in. Sometimes I don't understand you, because…'
'Of that crazy little thing called testosterone?' Peyton smiled.
'Something like that anyway. But I want to… sometimes I just need a little help.'
Only half-joking at this stage, Peyton prodded for more- she loved it when he really opened up to her. It was that Nathan Scott that she fell in love with.
'Anything else, Pandora?'
'Yeah actually... there is…'
I'll be there to be that someone
When you think that no-one is there to hold your hand
I am
Stretching both of their hand out towards the mirror, Nathan clasped hers tightly in his own, nuzzled his chin into her shoulder and went on, talking intensely to Peyton's reflection.
'I wanna be your strength when you fall down. I wanna be the first one you call. I wanna be your first true love. I wanna go to bed dreaming of you, and think of you first in the morning. I wanna be there for you, no matter what. I wanna have fun with you, and I wanna be by your side whn you cry. I wanna be a better person when I'm around you. I wanna understand you, Peyton. I'm trying to.'
Stillness enclosed them as Peyton dared to stare at their reflection for the first time, whilst Nathan kissed the top of her head, willing her to be brave.
'Wow,' the blonde whispered.
We're just who we are, there's no pretending
It takes a while to learn to live in your own skin
'I just realized, Nate- you're right. It's not what we do in life that matters, it's who we are. And we can spend as long as we like denying the fact that we are who we are, but in the end we're still the same people. I guess that's how I can still love you, no matter what the outcome of the game is.'
Say a prayer that we might find our happy ending
Twisting herself around so that she was facing him, Peyton looked into Nathan's deep blue orbs and, upon realizing that she could still love him, leaned in and kissed him more meaningfully than ever.
And if you're in, you know I'm in
I'm ready and I'm willing
Pulling away for a moment, Peyton whispered in Nathan's ear, 'I'm in.'
I ain't got no halo hanging over my head
I ain't gonna judge you, I'm just here to love you
I am
Nathan kissed her again before repeating her own actions, 'I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, Pey, but I never once counted you as one of them. I wanna grow with you and learn with you. Life's just a mystery to me- but I do know one thing; I love you. That's my choice.'
I am
When you think that no-one needs you, sees you or believes you
No-one's there to understand
I am
I'll be there to be that someone
When you think that no-one is there to hold your hand
I am
We see Cheerleaders portrayed as the same sort of character in every single show out there. I'm not here to say it's right or wrong. I'm here to say it's a choice. Believe what you want to believe, but you only have one chance at life, and what you do with it is up to you.
Not everyone gets their happy ending like I did, but I honestly believe that everyone deserves it. Whether they find it or not is entirely another story.
Peace,
P.Sawyer
Please R&R. It took me a lot of work, so I'd love to know if you were as happy with it as I was when I was done.
Gabbi xx