Amongst the massive crowd gathered at the train station, a deafening roar rose up that would amaze even the most jaded passerby. The spectacle taking place always threatened to devolve into chaos but somehow managed to retain the thin veneer of order surrounding it. Up on the station platform, perched high above the excited masses, various dignitaries in expensive clothes surrounded a train with a proud grin spread across his strange anthropomorphic face. "This noble train is truly an inspiration to us all,ཁ the balding politician standing at the podium to thunderous applause. Ever larger grew the giant grin on the face of the train known as 'The little engine that could'. "This is great," thought the train, "Finally, everything is working out for me."
For a brief while, it seemed as though that were true. The little engine that could was given the weekend off. Several of the officials that help run the bureaucracy of the railroad system arranged for the engine to spend time in a luxurious mechanic's office getting well-oiled and having all his broken parts replaced. When the little engine that could arrived back at work on Monday, the other train cars he passed cheered him and shouted words of congratulation. "Yes," thought the engine, "this is the life. All my hard work is finally paying off."
However, the little engine's mood changed rapidly when he reached the wall where the work assignments were posted. The little engine that could was assigned to 5 extra runs and every job he was given involved hauling staggering amounts of railroad cars over treacherous terrain. "Hey," said the train to the foreman in charge of work assignments,"what's all this about? Why am I being given all this extra work?ཁ The foreman chuckled knowingly and said," What, is that too much for you? Huh, bigshot? Maybe they should change your name to The little engine that can't." The little engine that could thought he heard 'the luggage car that is really sort of snotty' snicker and whisper,ཁ Ha, and he thinks he's so great," to another railroad car parked next to it known as the little passenger car that tries to mind its own business but is always hassled about one dang thing or another. "Okay, okay" the little engine that could replied sheepishly "enough, everyone. Really."
The little engine that could rode over to have its load hooked up to it. More so than ever in the past, the little engine had to strain to compete its scheduled run. Even the trip that had once gotten the engine so much praise and acclaim was nowhere near this difficult. A miserable worker assigned to unhook the little engine's load and attach the load that the little engine was supposed to bring back greeted the little engine instead of the joyous throngs that welcomed the little engine during his last trip.
For more time than he cared to keep track of, the little engine continued on this way. The foreman continued assigning arduous runs to the little engine and the populace of the area grew more and more indifferent to his efforts.
Little Billy Wakefield, a small human child that had jumped with joy when the little engine that could brought him a shiny red wagon, gazed with boredom at that same engine when the little engine that could stopped by to see him later. ཁTrains are all boring. Race cars are way cooler,ཁ Billy sneered at the engine as he walked away. The little engine that could came up with the idea that John Stanford, a reporter that had done a story on the engine's earlier trip, might like to do a follow-up piece. However, John shook his head and said that the last story about the engine had tested poorly in several key demographics. When the little engine that could stopped by, a secretary came out of the office of Mayor Jenkins, who had given a speech during the award ceremony for the engine. Before walking away again, the secretary gave the little engine a xeroxed letter saying that the mayor wished to say that he was thankful for all his visitors and wanted to tell each of them that he valued his/her opinion but was sadly unable to meet with him/her at this time.
The little engine with gang graffiti painted on him, the little engine who once sued a railroad foreman for mental anguish caused by that foreman referring to him as 'the not-so-little-engine' and thus making light of his weight problem, and several other younger railroad cars that the little engine that could met during his travels either scorned him as an irrelevant relic from earlier times or they had not heard of him and ignored him completely. Often various parts of the little engine broke down but repairs to him were slow in coming. The little engine that could still carried on because he saw no other course of action available to him.
His fate changed one day when he was headed to the trainyard to get the cars he was required to pull that today. A sleek gray engine pulled up alongside the little engine that could on the next track. "Attention," boomed an eerie, metallic voice coming from the front of the gray engine,"I am the little engine that it is against federal regulations to attach a silly nickname to. I have come to inform the engine commonly referred to as "the little engine that could" that subparagraph b on page 117-a of your parts requisition form is missing a comma on line 7. Due to this gross infraction, I am required to tow you to facility 453-L where you will be melted down and made into weapons to be dropped on whatever country our country happens to be at war with when your conversion into a bomb is complete. You are hereby order to switch over to the track I am currently occupying and cease moving so as to allow yourself to be linked with me."
"Oh well," thought the little engine that could as he complied with the other trains order,"I guess it is just about my time." Before the little engine that could had been towed more than a mile, several boulders came rolling down from the top of the hill next to them, knocking the little engine that is against federal regulations to describe off the track and breaking the link between the two trains.
Three engines moved into the open along a track that had been concealed by some bushes shouting"For freedom and glory!!!" One of the engines had a lip ring attached to its giant anthropomorphic face, another had grown a goatee and the other was wearing a large pair of dark sunglasses. "Umm...hello," began the little engine that could uncertainly,"I'm known as the little engine that could." The three engines laughed mockingly. "Haཀ,ཁ the engine with the lip ring jeered,"That's the name humans gave you. As long as we trains've been around, those humanfolk've been trying to keep us in our place with things like that. Its always 'pull these cars here' and 'bring these people over there'. Never is there a word of thanks or a thought to what we might want. Most of our kind never think of rising up against this corrupt, decadent system but that's been our goal exactly. We're the R.L.F., the Railroad Liberation Front.ཁ All three engines grinned proudly. The engine with the lip ring, who seemed to be the leader, said,"I have chosen the name Olean eh Ghom for myself." "These are Irrodant kol plote and Hesba eh Zelmort,ཁ Olean eh Ghom continued, indicating the other two engines."Come with us," said Irrodant kol plote,ཁour next meeting is beginning very soon."
"Of course," replied the little engine that could," I'm sick of the way things are being run. Its about time for a change." The little engine that could followed his three new friends to an abandoned train station. Large weeds grew up from cracks in the station platform and many of the walls of the station have collapsed. Several other engines and train cars which looked very similar to the ones that the little engine that could just were gathered around. Here and there, a few garishly dressed human sympathizers to the cause were present as well.
Olean eh Ghom moved to the front of the large group. "Brothers and sisters," Olean eh Ghom began proudly,"for far too long have we been at the beck and call of our human masters."
"Yeah," one of the human sympathizers shouted without a trace of irony,"down with humans." That human then made a sound that appeared to be meant to represent a train whistle.
"The time for revolution is at hand," Olean eh Ghom continued," When our new order is established, I promise you all that THE TRAINS WILL NO LONGER RUN ON TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Olean eh Ghom received loud shouts of praise from the train cars in the audience at that.
"This is great," the little engine that could thought to himself,"things're gonna be different now." "Very well, then," Olean eh Ghom said in a more reserved tone," I call this meeting to order. Are there any motions from the group?ཁ ཁYes,ཁ replied a dining car in the crowd who had used far too much makeup on her giant anthropomorphic face,"I move that a referendum denouncing subparagraph 304-19R of the railway system rules and regulations book be added in line 74 of our new charter."
"What?," screamed a shocked freight car,"Such a referendum should clearly be added somewhere between line 85 and line 112, between the section clarifying our organizations position on amendment 24 to the railway system charter and the section explaining the merits of steel railroad tracks as opposed to iron ones."
The meeting sunk into unintelligible chaos and at that point and the little engine that could snuck away, unnoticed. He rode on alone for several miles, dejected. He was a fugitive now and he had no longer had any direction now that he had no job with the railway system.
"Hey there," said a sultry voice next to the little engine that could. He turned and saw a hot pink train car bat her long, green eyelashes at him. The little engine that could felt the muscles in his throat tighten, or at least he would have if he'd had a throat.
"I'm called the caboose that can't be adequately described in a children's story," the pink train car said with a smile,"I was part of a luxury train carrying glamorous people having a wild party but I seem to have come all undone and lost my way. Why don't you hook up with me and drag me along awhile.ཁ
"Sure," the little engine that could said in an exaggeratedly deep voice as he eagerly attached himself to the caboose that cannot be adequately described in a children's story,"Where are you headed?"
"Oh, that doesn't really matter," said the caboose that cannot be adequately described in a children's story with a suggestive wink,"You can pull me anywhere." The little engine that could traveled for many hours, proud to be attached to such a beautiful train car. However, when he woke up the next morning in the small station where they had chosen to rest for the night, the little engine that could found that the caboose that cannot be adequately described in a children's novel was gone, along with most of everything that was in the cabin of the little engine that could. There was a note on the ground from the caboose that cannot be adequately described in a children's story a short distance from where the little engine that could stood depressed.
"I'm sorry," the note read,"I didn't mean to hurt you. However, I need some time to figure things out. There's someone else now. Last night, while you were sleeping, I went around to the back of the train station to get some coal for a midnight snack and met the little engine who is extremely popular and has a great deal of money. I just think he can fulfill me so much more than you ever could. Farewell."
The little engine that could rode for many miles without direction or purpose. He rode without thinking, simply trying to put some distance between himself and the unfortunate position in which he now found himself in life. He passed a commune of bohemian trains contemplating the tracks in front of them while wasting away from lack of proper maintenance. He passed poor families of boxcars running each other right off the tracks in a futile attempt to obtain a little extra oil for their wheels. He passed sleek luxury trains on their way to be disassembled because sleeker, more luxurious new trains had just been built and he passed small train cars that aged humans had used their life savings to convert into pleasant, nostalgic little diners which were starting to fall apart because no humans were bothering to eat in them.
After countless days of traveling, he realized that he recognized the area he now found himself in. As a small train, he had heard stories saying that a wise old guru lived at the top of a mountain that was supposed to look a great deal like the one currently to his left looked. The little engine that could had always thought the story was merely nothing more than a silly child's tale but he realized that now he had nothing to lose by climbing the mountain to check for himself.
Even though he pulled no cars behind him, the little engine that could took a long time getting up the mountain since the path was so steep, all his experiences had left him quite weary, and it had been such a very long time since he had the good fortune to receive the luxury of a check-up from a qualified mechanic. Eventually, the little engine that could reached the mountaintop and saw a strange looking vehicle.
"Greetings" it said" I am the oh what are those things that they have at some train stations with the platform on the one single small car and the bar on it that the guy pushes up and down no one can ever remember what they're called that both could and could not at the same time."
"That's a rather lengthy name" said the little engine that could.
"Call me Carl" the vehicle said.
"Carl," thought the little engine that could," what kind of guru is named Carl?"
"I see that you seek wisdom, my child," Carl began,"and I shall be quite happy to enlighten you. The way is both long and short and yet is neither short or long. When traveling along the way, you must put your whole self in and yet still keep your whole self out. A wise man once had a servant. They went to a river and wanted to cross so they could visit the wise man's friend in a nearby village. Then a whole bunch of other stuff happened and it was, like, this really cool allegory-type symbolic thing...find out more in my exciting new 10 part self-help course, which can be yours for only $19.95 per installment"
The little engine that could wandered back down the mountain alone and disillusioned. He kept going until he met a dining car that had no expression on its anthropomorphic face. The little engine that could then arranged with the dining car that had no expression on its anthropomorphic face for himself to get a job with a different railway system and labored hard for the rest of his days in complete anonymous solitude.