(Almost) Anything Goes

by Prof-the F.R.I.E.N.D.S fanatic

So, this is what happens when my muse deserts me then comes back with a less than brilliant idea. If you've ever seen the musical Anything Goes, this is just that, except instead of Billy Crocker and Hope Harcourt, it's Chandler Bing and Monica Geller. Enjoy. Rated T for swearing, future racism, and other stuff.

1. Intro and beginning Authors note Read

(Almost)Anything Goes

AN: Okay, so I'm being about as unoriginal as you can get, but this idea hit me about fifteen minutes ago and I've managed to learn never to ignore your muse…it gets very pissy with you if you do. I'm essentially ripping off the incredible musical comedy Anything Goes, the only difference being that I am substituting two characters for Monica and Chandler.

I can't stress enough that the play is written by Guy Bolton, P.G, Wodehouse, Howard Lindsay, and Russell Crouse with the incredible music and lyrics by Cole Porter. Any FRIENDS characters mentioned are well, not mine. I will post song lyrics in this fanfic though I highly suggest that you look up the songs on youtube. I also assure you that I did not steal the script I am using, my highschool's winter musical is Anything Goes and I am in it. Finally, I would like you all to know that this DOES have some very racist jokes as this was written during the great depression when such jokes were deemed socially acceptable. This is just my major author's note/disclaimer/intro/background information. Below you will find a list of the characters. Essentially, I am just changing it from script form to description and changing two characters' names.

Elisha J. Whitney- Wall Street Executive (and possible alcoholic)

Steward-of the Liner "American"

Reporter(Charlie)-for the Globe American

Cameraman- for the Globe American

Sir Evelyn(pronounced Eeve-el-in) Oakleigh- English Gentleman

Mrs. Wadsworth T. Geller (Changed from Harcourt)-Mother of Monica. Society Matron.

Monica Geller (changed from Hope Harcourt)-Engaged to Sir Evelyn.

Bishop (Henry T. Dobson)- Missionary

Reno Sweeney- Nightclub singer, former Evangelist

Chandler Bing (Changed from Billy Crocker)-Whitney's "General Manager" in love with Monica

Moonface Martin (known as Moonie)-Public Enemy #13

First Chinese (Ching)-Christian convert and gambler

Second Chinese (Ling)-Christian convert and gambler

Purser-of the liner "American"

Bonnie-Mull, traveling with Moon.

Captain-skipper of the liner "American"

Chastity (Angel)- a girl in the backup vocal quartet for Reno's act

Purity (Angel)- a girl in the backup vocal quartet for Reno's act

Virtue (Angel)- a girl in the backup vocal quartet for Reno's act

Charity (Angel)- a girl in the backup vocal quartet for Reno's act

Act 1

Scene 1: Afterdeck of the ship

Scene 2: On the ship's deck. Night.

Scene 3: Two cabins on the "A" Deck

Scene 4: The ship's deck

Scne 6:Evelyn's stateroom

Scene 7: The ship's deck

Scene 8: The Afterdeck

Act 2

Scene 1: Ship's lounge

Scene 2: The brig

Scene 3: The ship's deck