A/N: Written for a prompt on Norsekink Livejournal. Thanks to Oneiriad for connecting Odin to some royal families on Earth.

disclaimer: Marvel's, not mine. No money made.

suggested music: "Princes of the Universe" by Queen

The Kingship Competition

Asgard, The Citadel

„My sons", the Allfather spoke mildly. „The Odinsleep comes upon me." Seeing Thor twitch to speak up, he raised a hand to stall. „Worry not. There is time enough to prepare. However, those preparations need to start now. Thor!" he addressed his elder son. „You are my firstborn. The throne is yours by right."

Out of the corner of his eye, the old god saw his younger, adopted son fidget. Of course Loki knew Thor was not fit for the throne yet. That boy was so clever and observant.

„However, Thor, we need to take special precautions this time. This sleep may last longer than usual, for I feel weary. Stabilizing the roots of the World Tree after your fight with Nidhögg took a toll on my powers, and sorting out things after your skirmish in Thrymheim strained them further. So I need to plan well ahead and leave the kingdom in the best of hands, for more than the usual few days."

Loki let out a breath he had not known he had been holding. So their father was aware of Thor's shortcomings and would put their mother on the throne. All would be well. No need to execute that risky plan with the Jötnar he had concocted as a last resort.

The younger prince could handle a day or three of his brother's reign – had done so before, entertaining Thor with hunts and tournaments while fending off all those traders, courtiers and ambassadors who'd try to get favourable agreements out of the interim king which could have taken Odin years to revoke afterwards. But weeks or – Norns forbid – months with Thor on the throne? He'd start a war on some unfortunates just out of boredom, and execute it poorly … Like that skirmish against some renegade dwarves in their mine when Thor had been in such a hurry to leave they did not pack lamps or torches …

„I have therefore decided to test you." The Allfather continued, looking at Thor still. „Both of you, my sons." His eye turned to Loki, who immediately squirmed. „I will send you to Midgard. Each of you may choose a country there and prove yourself to be a good king. You will have some years – time passes faster in that realm, as you know."

„Father! What is the meaning of this?" Thor interrupted. „Am I not your heir? Am I not the mightiest warrior in the realms, proven in battle over and over again?"

„You are, my son." Odin cut in. „And indeed you have held the throne before, for short interim reigns, and it worked well." The Allfather closed his eye for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose. „However, your brother is just a year younger, and this just another interim reign. It would be unfair not to consider him. And since when has a challenge ever deterred you?"

Loki stood mouth-agape, unsteady on his feet. Was his father seriously considering him? Or just trying to push Thor to improve himself through the challenge? Thor looked deflated only for a moment.

„Of course, father, I'm up to the challenge. Though it's a bit unfair for poor Loki here; dealing with matters of state is just not his area of expertise. Not my fault, for certain – I've been doing my best to drag him away from the books and into combat training." For emphasis, Thor punched his brother in the upper arm.

„Too kind of you, brother. I shall do my best nonetheless." Loki said bitterly, rubbing his arm where Thor had hit. He had differring ideas about what a king needed to know, and had equally tried to entice his brother to take an interest in those, with even poorer success. The last time Loki had tried to get Thor to read a law book, he'd had to retrieve that book from a bed of petunia, notify a craftsman to repair the window, and pay compensation to the gardener hit.

„That is settled, then." Odin concluded. „Time to set up the gameboard, so to speak. Thor, which country would you like to rule? And mind you, some of the mortals' countries are off limits, that is: those which are ruled by kings or queens related to us: Denmark, Norway and Great Britain, currently. You will not take over any of those, and treat their rulers with respect."

Both princes nodded. Thor in particular remembered his mortal half-brothers Skjöldr and Yngvi fondly, as well as some of their friends and numerous offspring. Too bad he hadn't been there to join in on little Beowulf's dragon hunt, but they'd meet again in Valhalla one day.

Loki, too, remembered their prolific human kin with their mayfly lifespans, though less fondly. Those illoyal wretches, greedy for taxes and stingy with wergild for generations, had at some point decided to cut family ties in favour of converting to some new religion that would facilitate trade with some countries further south. For entertainment, Loki had told one of the proselytizing priests that his higher-ups in Rome had declared bathing a sin, since it was part of the capital sin of vanity – only to learn later that indeed they had. He'd not visited that sorry planet for some centuries thereafter.

Back to topic, Thor boomed: „I will of course take the mightiest country, with the most powerful warriors."

„That would be the United States of America." Odin supplied. „Know that they are not currently a kingdom. Would you like to reconsider?"

„No, father, all the better!" Thor enthused. „If they have no king, they are in dire need of one. I will take them in hand and lead them into glorious battle!"

Odin nodded, a bit tiredly. „And you Loki? What is your choice?"

The younger prince regrettet fiercely not having kept up closely with politics on Midgard. He knew their largest empire had recently crumbled and split into smaller states, as had some allied countries on the same land-mass, but little beyond that. Since Earthlings were not involved in inter-realm political squabbles yet, he usually focused on inventions during his infrequent visits (unless a man or woman would catch his eye). They had made impressive progress there.

Loki hated being caught uninformed, but his father was waiting. „A good king can work with whatever the Norns would hand to him." he finally said. „Assign me to some small land, father, a powerless place where people live in poverty, and I promise to improve their livelihoods." He balled a fist to his chest and bowed, to hide his shame at being unable to provide such a country's name.

Odin contemplated this request for a moment, while Thor chuckled, apparently amused by such foolishness.

„Very well." the Allfather said at length. „I'll let you choose from these: Cortezuela, located on that double-continent that stretches on both their hemispheres, the northern part of which you may remember as Vinland. It is there that your brother's chosen land lies. Cortezuela meanwhile lies further south. It has some natural resources, namely copper and emeralds, and its people grow this coca plant you brought from your vacation thereabouts some time ago, which I found rather inspiring. Next, I'd offer you Rongoroa, a volcanic island near their equator, not known for anything so far. Simba-Msitu is on the southern hemisphere. They grow mangoes and coffee for export and receive visitors for hunts, or merely to watch the wild animals. The mortals have such odd pastimes. Taklamastan is in the center of their greatest landmass; a desert mostly, but rich in natural gas, which the mortals use for heating. They seem to have some conflict over worshipping there. Lastly, there is Transdacia,a little to the south and east from where our kin live, a country of fields and forests where they grow root vegetables and swine. Which is it, my son?"

Loki's thoughts spun feverishly. Rongoroa was likely too hot. For some reason, he did not tolerate a hot climate well. A pity, since as the god of fire and earthquakes, he could have taken over a volcanic island country fairly easily.

Simba-Msitu was probably too hot as well, if they grew mangoes there. He did like the fruit; he remembered them from that campaign long ago when he and his brother had conquered cities in the Indus valley and Thor had learned to ride an elephant. That place had been a baking oven as well, and he had retired to the northern mountain range as soon as he'd had organized Thor's army and gotten them properly provisioned.

Of Taklamastan he held no fond memories from the time the Yellow Emperor's minions had chased him through there when he had stolen the secret of the tea plant.

Cortezuela sounded tempting, but might be too close to Thor's place and in his realm of interest. Last Loki had been in New York (and he had been pleasantly surprised by the invention of the StarkPhone), there had been some news buzz about a war on herbs. Thor's future subjects were certainly averse to anybody having fun. He wondered how long until they'd legislate against fatty food, or sugary softdrinks.

By process of elimination, that left Transdacia, and he said so. Thor patted his shoulder (which hurt), amusedly and pityingly.

Both princes gone, Odin descended to the weapons vault to seal the hidden path to Jotunheim there. Who knew the boy could find such things, and travel between the realms all by his own power, without the bifröst or other artifacts, like nobody had ever done before?

Yes, watching his younger son from Hlidskjalf every time Heimdall announced he had concealed himself from the gatekeeper's view had been one of Odin's better ideas, if he did say so himself. And why was there a portal to Jotunheim in the weapons vault of all places? Odin pondered.

His own mother Bestla had been a giantess, that much was known. She had been a sorceress; his own magic, so rare in male Aesir, came from her side of the family. A pity he had never known her. Shortly after his birth, queen-consort Bestla had left Asgard in a fit of rage, after a none too happy marriage (or captivity?).

Had she planned to take some artifacts with her? And where had she gone anyway? Growing up, Odin had always learned of his mother as an Earth Giantess of Utgard – a well respected race that sometimes mingled with the Aesir and Vanir. (Loki's current love interest was one of them as well, a cocky shapeshifting witch named Angrboda, whom Frigga deemed decidedly unfit for court.)

But then, in all his travels through that realm, he had never heard word of his mother. Now he wondered. Could she maybe … Was he even possibly blood-related to Loki after all? Quite unthinkable. Nobody even knew whether Aesir could interbreed with Frost Giants. That was the main reason the Allfather tolerated Loki's dalliance with his Angrboda. The boy – young man now, really – would want a family one day. Nobody knew whether he could possibly father a child with an Asynja; with a giantess, there should be no problem.

Only in case that child would turn out blue, then the dreaded explanations would be due. As they had really been for quite some time. Or at least Frigga had said so. But not before this Odinsleep, no. Things could wait at least a little while longer. The Allfather felt so very tired.