I Do Not Own CSI, but if I did I would have begged Jorja, Gary and Billy all to stay on the show. I'm going to miss Gary, this is for him
As I looked around the cemetery I felt my heart clench. The ministers words not even registering in my head, it's all white noise, the only thing I can feel at this moment is Sara holding onto my hand for dear life, knowing that I need her strength to lean on right now.
I vaguely hear the minister tell everyone to go in peace and all I can think about is how we can go in peace when were burying a part of our family. Warrick was family and I have already made a promise to him that I will catch his killer; I will make whoever did this pay.
Once I do that, find his murderer I'm done with CSI. I finally and truly understand what Sara meant when she said she can't bear to see death shoved in her face everyday.
Looking up I see Jim standing stoically, putting on a brave face, Greg with his head bowed trying to hold his tears back, Nick openly mourning his best friend throwing dirt onto Warrick's coffin. Then there's Catherine, Lindsay and her mother on either side of her, holding her arms and offering any comfort they can as she tries to catch her breath through sobs
"Gil" Sara whispered snapping me out of my trance
"Let's go, there's a gathering being held at a little bar for Warrick, his grandmother insists that we all come, I think we should" she said squeezing my hand
"Ok, let's go"
Twenty minutes later we pulled up to his little bar off the strip. I guess Warrick knew the owner and he shut the place down for the night, he also mourning the loss of a friend.
Walking in with Sara holding my hand I took a deep breath and located the bar. I need a drink and I know Sara wouldn't mind one too. After a week from hell this is the first time I feel like I have been able to catch my breath and all I want to do is go home, crawl into bed and hold Sara like my life depended on it but seeing as I can't do that
"Scotch and a red wine please"
I order, passing the drink to Sara once it comes. In my peripheral vision I can see the team enter the bar along with lab techs all seeking out the same thing Sara and I have, a drink.
I can hear people talking to me and I just nod along not really paying attention to what there saying, I can't concentrate, everything's just a blur.
I can hear the music playing though, acoustic guitars and a deep voice singing along.
All I can do is stare at Sara, right now she is the one holding me together, it's a change of pace for us, usually I'm her rock, holding her up but the roles have been reversed and now she's keeping me above water when I feel like I'm drowning
Taking the last gulp of my drink I grab the drink Sara's holding and put it on the bar take her hand and lead her out onto the barren dance floor where the soft music is playing, leaving the group of people talking to us only to have them stare me as I pull Sara away
Pulling her close I bury my head on her shoulder and just slowly sway to the chords being played
I got my finger on the trigger
But I don't know who to trust
When I look into your eyes
There's just devils and dust
Listening to the words I think the same thing, I don't know who to trust anymore other then Sara and what's left of my team. How are we supposed to find Warrick's murderer when he's probably one of Vegas' biggest mobsters
We're a long, long way from home, Bobbie
Home's a long, long way from us
I feel a dirty wind blowing
Devils and dust
I got God on my side
I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a powerful thing
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust
I always believed in God, religion not so much but God has always been apart of my life. When Nick was taken I prayed we would find him. We did. When Brass was shot I prayed that he would pull though. He did. When Greg was beaten an inch from his life I prayed that the damage done to him would heal. It did. When Sara was kidnapped and almost died I prayed my heart out, hoping we would find her alive and she would survive. She did. When Warrick was shot, I prayed, I prayed that he would pull through. He didn't. For once in my life, my prayers we not answered and that make me madder then hell. Warrick did not deserve to die. Makes me feel like my heart is filled with devils and dust
Well I dreamed of you last night
In a field of blood and stone
The blood began to dry
The smell began to rise
Well I dreamed of you last night
In a field of mud and bone
Your blood began to dry
The smell began to rise
The night after Warrick died I dreamed of him. It started out happy, all of us at the diner, joking around like the old times. But then it turned ugly. I stood outside the diner, outside his car where the blood pool was drying, where Warrick's body hung over his steering wheel, crying silent tears of pain and me not being able to help him. That's when I woke up sweating and panting only to have Sara place a cold cloth on my face and hug me, letting tears flow. I felt her tears on my shoulder but mine wouldn't come.
We've got God on our side
We're just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a powerful thing
It'll turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
As the song continues I'm vaguely aware that this is the first time since Warrick died that I have been able to mourn. I stayed strong for Catherine, Nick, Greg and anyone else who needed someone to lean on but now, now is my turn to mourn the loss of a friend, a family member
Now every woman and every man
They want to take a righteous stand
Find the love that God wills
And the faith that He commands
I told Sara my promise to find Warrick's killer. The team and I are all on the same page when it comes to this. No matter who this person is they will be found and he will pay for taking away family.
She knows that once his killer is found I can't be a CSI anymore. I just can't and she knows exactly why I can't and I love her more and more everyday for understanding me and loving me, and being by my side
I've got my finger on the trigger
And tonight faith just ain't enough
When I look inside my heart
There's just devils and dust
Sara must feel the wetness on her shoulder from my tears because I can feel her hands running though my hair and her whispering in my ear to 'just let it out and cry. That she's here and not going anywhere'
All I can do is hold her tighter
Well I've got God on my side
And I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a dangerous thing
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
Were going to survive, we'll move on with our lives but we will never forget the man that was the rock of our team. Who had problems and made mistakes just like the rest of us but always had our back no matter what
It'll take your God filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
I can hear the song ending, the chords coming to an end and Sara's grip around my neck loosening. She pulls away from me and when I look at her I realize she has tears in her eyes too. I feel her brush mine away and give me a sad smile and all I can do is give her one back
"Let's go home" She whispers, taking my hand, leading me outside, to our home, where we can finally rest and mourn the loss of a man who was always like a son to me, and pray that he's in a better place, keeping close watch over all of us
I finally managed to write this story. It has been bugging me for the last week ever since I heard this song.
The song is by Bruce Springsteen and its called Devil's and Dust. If you haven't heard it download it and listen to it. I promise you will be moved.
I hope I did this story justice from Grissom's point of view and what I think is going to happen season 9. I think that they will find out that the sheriff did it and once justice has been brought down that's when I think Grissom will leave. He found Ricks killer and now he can move on. At least that's what I hope happens.
Please leave me a review and tell me what you thought!
Katie