Halloween 13: Michael Myers Faked his Death Again!
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Voiceover: Last Halloween, Michael Meyers was blown up with a cannon, cut up into millions of pieces, set on fire, and then his ashes were put into a large pot and buried deep in the Earth's crust. But make sure when you kill someone, you finish the job...
*We see a hand rise out of the Earth's crust*
Voiceover: Michael Meyers is back, and this time, he's angry. Well, he's always angry, but the anger is much more apparent this time.
*Michael Meyers picks up a knife, and makes a stabbing motion to the camera*
Voiceover: Since everyone even semi-related to him is dead, we saved the most important person until now...his 3rd cousin, twice removed. In fact, she's so related to him, they're not really related at all.
*We see his cousin, who's playing ping-pong. All of we sudden, we see she's playing ping-pong with Michael Meyers! She screams and runs off.*
Voiceover: And this time, another rappper is after him. This time, Ja Rule must search the city, looking for the man with the machete.
*Ja Rule is sitting on a park bench. Michael Meyers, wearing a cowboy hat, is sitting next to him.*
Ja Rule: Where could he be? It almost seems like he's right next to me...
*Michael Meyers takes off the cowboy hat, and Ja Rule screams*
Voiceover: And using the latest in digitial technology, we managed to paste and edit clips from other Halloween movies to actually put Donald Pleasence into the film!
*Dr.Loomis is standing in the hospital, for no apparent reason*
Dr.Loomis: I....wish....I...COULD KILL....Michael Meyers....It would....BE!....quite interesting....TO WATCH HIM DIE!....I'm Dr. Loomis....Hi....WATCH OUT!
*The screen goes black*
Voiceover: And just when you thought Laurie was dead...again....SHE COMES BACK FOR MORE!
*We see Ja Rule talking to Laurie*
Ja Rule: Wow. I thought you were dead in part 12, when Michael drove over you in a lawnmower.
Laurie: That's what I wanted to think. He already almost killed me 2 times in parts 9 and 11, he isn't going to do it again!
*Michael Meyers stabs her with a knife*
Ja Rule: OH NO! She's dead again! Or is she...*He winks at the camera*
*And witness the most horrifying revelation since Halloween 3 was released...*
Ja Rule: Wait a minute...If Michael Meyers really isn't being controlled by the pagans, that means....OH MY GOD, MICHAEL MEYERS IS AN ALIEN!
*Michael Meyer's mask rips off, revealing an alien head.*
Voiceover: This is the Halloween where he came home....AGAIN!
*The screen goes black as blood drips down it*
Voiceover: Halloween 13: Michael Meyers faked his death again! Coming this Fall to a theatre near you. It's better than Part 5, kind of!
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Voiceover: Last Halloween, Michael Meyers was blown up with a cannon, cut up into millions of pieces, set on fire, and then his ashes were put into a large pot and buried deep in the Earth's crust. But make sure when you kill someone, you finish the job...
*We see a hand rise out of the Earth's crust*
Voiceover: Michael Meyers is back, and this time, he's angry. Well, he's always angry, but the anger is much more apparent this time.
*Michael Meyers picks up a knife, and makes a stabbing motion to the camera*
Voiceover: Since everyone even semi-related to him is dead, we saved the most important person until now...his 3rd cousin, twice removed. In fact, she's so related to him, they're not really related at all.
*We see his cousin, who's playing ping-pong. All of we sudden, we see she's playing ping-pong with Michael Meyers! She screams and runs off.*
Voiceover: And this time, another rappper is after him. This time, Ja Rule must search the city, looking for the man with the machete.
*Ja Rule is sitting on a park bench. Michael Meyers, wearing a cowboy hat, is sitting next to him.*
Ja Rule: Where could he be? It almost seems like he's right next to me...
*Michael Meyers takes off the cowboy hat, and Ja Rule screams*
Voiceover: And using the latest in digitial technology, we managed to paste and edit clips from other Halloween movies to actually put Donald Pleasence into the film!
*Dr.Loomis is standing in the hospital, for no apparent reason*
Dr.Loomis: I....wish....I...COULD KILL....Michael Meyers....It would....BE!....quite interesting....TO WATCH HIM DIE!....I'm Dr. Loomis....Hi....WATCH OUT!
*The screen goes black*
Voiceover: And just when you thought Laurie was dead...again....SHE COMES BACK FOR MORE!
*We see Ja Rule talking to Laurie*
Ja Rule: Wow. I thought you were dead in part 12, when Michael drove over you in a lawnmower.
Laurie: That's what I wanted to think. He already almost killed me 2 times in parts 9 and 11, he isn't going to do it again!
*Michael Meyers stabs her with a knife*
Ja Rule: OH NO! She's dead again! Or is she...*He winks at the camera*
*And witness the most horrifying revelation since Halloween 3 was released...*
Ja Rule: Wait a minute...If Michael Meyers really isn't being controlled by the pagans, that means....OH MY GOD, MICHAEL MEYERS IS AN ALIEN!
*Michael Meyer's mask rips off, revealing an alien head.*
Voiceover: This is the Halloween where he came home....AGAIN!
*The screen goes black as blood drips down it*
Voiceover: Halloween 13: Michael Meyers faked his death again! Coming this Fall to a theatre near you. It's better than Part 5, kind of!