Desire: A Ridiculous Kind of Romance
Parody of CLAMP's manga, "Wish", which is trademarked to Tokoyopop.
~ Scene ~
One beautiful, starry night with calm winds. Below, there is a "forest-
city" where are tons of wild Pokémon thrive.
*********************** Chapter One: Fallen Pidgey ***********************
Pikachu: Tum te ta ta te te tum tum... What a beautiful night to be walking around! Too bad I don't have a girlfriend...
Disembodied Voice: Help! Please help!
Pikachu: What was that? *Ears perk up*
Disembodied Voice: Look up! Look up you, [expletive removed]!
Pikachu: *Looks up and gasps as he supposedly sees a Pidgey with her scruff stuck on the branch of a tree, therefore making her stuck*
Pidgey: *Wipes a tear off with a wing* ::Sob sob::
Pikachu: *Stares* It looks like a bird, but it can't be sense no animal here is not a Pokémon!
Pidgey: Hello.
Pikachu: Woah, it talks! It can't be a toy-technology doesn't exist out here in the wild... And besides, toys don't cry...or do they?
~ A Spearow flies out of nowhere and starts attacking the Pidgey. ~
Pidgey: AGH! Help me!
Pikachu: Uh...uh... *Jumps up into the air, doing a Matrix move, but misses*
Pidgey: You [expletive removed]... I mean... Ouch! Stop it! That hurts so bad! *Flails and flails and the tree branch breaks* Aaaah!
Pikachu: *Catches Pidgey*
Spearow: I'll get you again, you meddling kid... *Flies away* Caw, caw!
Pidgey: *Turns to Pikachu* Thank you sir!
Pikachu: *Stares at Pidgey* It's so warm...so it has to be alive, right? But what are those things on its back?
Pidgey: Hi! What's your name?
Pikachu: My name is Pikachu. Pikachu with no last name.
Pidgey: Pikachu, my name is Pidgey! I would love to reward your kindness, because you saved me (rather horribly, I must say)! You see at night, I can't fly that well. I have to wait until day before I can take my true form. *Flies around Pikachu*
Pikachu: *Stares* ... *Grabs her wing*
Pidgey: AGH!!!
Pikachu: What the heck is this?
Pidgey: It's my wing, you idiot!
Pikachu: DUH! I know that? But why are you wearing little wings on your back?
Pidgey: I guess it must be strange, because most Pokémon are wingless! If you had more Pidgeotto around, it wouldn't be so weird! I'm a Pidgeotto.
Pikachu: You?! A Pidgeotto?!
Pidgey: *Smiles*
Pikachu: *Turns and leaves*
Pidgey: NO, wait, come back! *Flies after him* I have to pay you back, you dummy!
Pikachu: *Keeps walking away* You know, I have been drinking sake all day... I bet this is some kind of hallucination.
Pidgey: Sake... Are you a slacker?
Pikachu: It was eight hours of nonstop bingeing. I'm lucky I survived! I knew better than to drive home with my BAC (that's Blood Alcohol Content) level over .12... But if I knew I would end up hallucinating, I would have taken the bus...
Pidgey: But you're wide-awake, you nincompoop!
Pikachu: You mean I'm not dreaming?
Pidgey: I don't need an echo. And anyway, you really saved my life back there! That Spearow was a work of Team Rocket!
Pikachu: Um... Pikachu?
Pidgey: They use Pokémon for their dirty work!
Pikachu: And you're a Pidgeotto?
Pidgey: Yup!
Pikachu: *Walks away again*
Pidgey: NOOO!! Come on! Don't you want a reward?
Pikachu: I don't want anything that will disappear when I wake up again the next morning.
Pidgey: It's not a dream! Jeez!
~ At Pikachu's House ~
Pidgey: This is your house?
Pikachu: No duh.
Pidgey: You must let me show appreciation before you go inside, you dimrod! *Turns* WOAH! LOOK AT ALL THOSE TREES!
Pikachu: ...Look, I'm really bushed.
Pidgey: Then I'll stay here until you are well rested! Go to sleep and have some fun-as long as I get to stay here.
Pikachu: Fine, go on ahead. *Goes inside and slams door*
~ Inside Pikachu's House ~
Pikachu: This stuff is so not real... What a weird dream. I mean, a Pidgey getting attacked by a Spearow... What luck! Where's this Pidgey crap coming from? I mean, have I stopped dreaming? I could be in the middle of the road. I hope I'm not getting hit by a semi! *Looks out the window* Woah, a glowing tree. That's it! I must be dreaming. Stupid ecstasy. *Goes to sleep*
~ The Next Day at Pikachu's House ~
Pikachu: *Walks outside*
Pidgey: GOOD MORNING!!!!!!
Pikachu: Oh my God...
Pidgey: You have such a beautiful garden! The trees are excellent!
Pikachu: You mean... You're not a...?
Pidgey: Let me introduce myself! *Changes into a...PIDGEOTTO!*
Pikachu: Sweet mother of...
Pidgey: My name is Pidgey! Just because I am a Pidgeotto doesn't mean I have to change my name. I'm a bird Pokémon!
Pikachu: *Heads back to his house* I obviously didn't get any sleep.
Pidgey: But you are wide-awake and renewed! (And I sound like a soap commericial.)
Little Oddish #1: *Jumps on Pikachu's shoulder* Don't be so stubborn!
Little Oddish #2: Give the girl a break!
Pikachu: If I am hallucinating, I rather sleep and go back to dreams that are less-real.
Pidgey: But I am real! Get that through your head! *Puts wing to Pikachu's face* See? I am real!
Pikachu: ... *Goes back to sleep*
Pidgey: YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME! All I want to do is thank you! And I want to grant you one wish!
Pikachu: Well, people who make wishes are usually feeling incomplete. I have everything I need!
Pidgey: WHAT?!
Pikachu: I mean, I love what I do. Slacking is pretty easy. I have nothing to be unhappy about. Besides... Isn't it up to me to fulfill my own dreams?
Pidgey: W-what...?!
Pikachu: OHHHHHHH, SHUT YOU DOWN.
Pidgey: Some wishes involve some bird-rific intervention!
Pikachu: Well, I guess I have to accept this reality. Some day, technology will give Pikachu wings...
Pidgey: BUT I'M A PIDGEOTTO!
Pikachu: You're nothing but nonsense! Goodbye! *Walks outside*
Pidgey: But I still haven't thanked you!
Pikachu: *Grabs a rake*
Pidgey: What are you doing?
Pikachu: Raking my yard, you [expletive removed].
Pidgey: Oh, I can help you with that! WHIRLWIND ATTACK!
~ A giant tornado of wind comes and starts blowing everything around ~
Pidgey: How's that?
Pikachu: *Stares at Pidgey, blown away from his house with leaves matted in his fur*
Pidgey: NO! I'm sorry!
Pikachu: Well, my yard is raked enough.
Pidgey: I promise to do better!
Pikachu: I don't need anything.
Little Oddish #1: Don't make her cry, you brute!
Little Oddish #2: Uh-oh, here come the waterworks!
Little Oddish #3: The tears will be falling like...rain!
Pidgey: Then I'll just stay until you do! So there! Besides, I can't go back home until I reward you! My master will beat me! I won't get in the way!
Little Oddish #1: Bawling like a baby.
Little Oddish #2: You ought to be ashamed!
Pidgey: I don't require food! And I'll make myself small! *Turns into a Pidgey* And I'll rake your yard everyday!
Pikachu: FINE! It's a free forest, anyway... And don't hold your breath.
Pidgey: You can't fool me. Besides, some wishes can't be fulfilled by oneself! You won't regret it! And can I call you Pikachu? Thanks! WHEE! I can't wait to get started!
~ The tornado outside continues sucking everything up ~
*********************** To be continued... Next: Chapter Two - A Pidgeotto's Day ***********************
~ Scene ~
One beautiful, starry night with calm winds. Below, there is a "forest-
city" where are tons of wild Pokémon thrive.
*********************** Chapter One: Fallen Pidgey ***********************
Pikachu: Tum te ta ta te te tum tum... What a beautiful night to be walking around! Too bad I don't have a girlfriend...
Disembodied Voice: Help! Please help!
Pikachu: What was that? *Ears perk up*
Disembodied Voice: Look up! Look up you, [expletive removed]!
Pikachu: *Looks up and gasps as he supposedly sees a Pidgey with her scruff stuck on the branch of a tree, therefore making her stuck*
Pidgey: *Wipes a tear off with a wing* ::Sob sob::
Pikachu: *Stares* It looks like a bird, but it can't be sense no animal here is not a Pokémon!
Pidgey: Hello.
Pikachu: Woah, it talks! It can't be a toy-technology doesn't exist out here in the wild... And besides, toys don't cry...or do they?
~ A Spearow flies out of nowhere and starts attacking the Pidgey. ~
Pidgey: AGH! Help me!
Pikachu: Uh...uh... *Jumps up into the air, doing a Matrix move, but misses*
Pidgey: You [expletive removed]... I mean... Ouch! Stop it! That hurts so bad! *Flails and flails and the tree branch breaks* Aaaah!
Pikachu: *Catches Pidgey*
Spearow: I'll get you again, you meddling kid... *Flies away* Caw, caw!
Pidgey: *Turns to Pikachu* Thank you sir!
Pikachu: *Stares at Pidgey* It's so warm...so it has to be alive, right? But what are those things on its back?
Pidgey: Hi! What's your name?
Pikachu: My name is Pikachu. Pikachu with no last name.
Pidgey: Pikachu, my name is Pidgey! I would love to reward your kindness, because you saved me (rather horribly, I must say)! You see at night, I can't fly that well. I have to wait until day before I can take my true form. *Flies around Pikachu*
Pikachu: *Stares* ... *Grabs her wing*
Pidgey: AGH!!!
Pikachu: What the heck is this?
Pidgey: It's my wing, you idiot!
Pikachu: DUH! I know that? But why are you wearing little wings on your back?
Pidgey: I guess it must be strange, because most Pokémon are wingless! If you had more Pidgeotto around, it wouldn't be so weird! I'm a Pidgeotto.
Pikachu: You?! A Pidgeotto?!
Pidgey: *Smiles*
Pikachu: *Turns and leaves*
Pidgey: NO, wait, come back! *Flies after him* I have to pay you back, you dummy!
Pikachu: *Keeps walking away* You know, I have been drinking sake all day... I bet this is some kind of hallucination.
Pidgey: Sake... Are you a slacker?
Pikachu: It was eight hours of nonstop bingeing. I'm lucky I survived! I knew better than to drive home with my BAC (that's Blood Alcohol Content) level over .12... But if I knew I would end up hallucinating, I would have taken the bus...
Pidgey: But you're wide-awake, you nincompoop!
Pikachu: You mean I'm not dreaming?
Pidgey: I don't need an echo. And anyway, you really saved my life back there! That Spearow was a work of Team Rocket!
Pikachu: Um... Pikachu?
Pidgey: They use Pokémon for their dirty work!
Pikachu: And you're a Pidgeotto?
Pidgey: Yup!
Pikachu: *Walks away again*
Pidgey: NOOO!! Come on! Don't you want a reward?
Pikachu: I don't want anything that will disappear when I wake up again the next morning.
Pidgey: It's not a dream! Jeez!
~ At Pikachu's House ~
Pidgey: This is your house?
Pikachu: No duh.
Pidgey: You must let me show appreciation before you go inside, you dimrod! *Turns* WOAH! LOOK AT ALL THOSE TREES!
Pikachu: ...Look, I'm really bushed.
Pidgey: Then I'll stay here until you are well rested! Go to sleep and have some fun-as long as I get to stay here.
Pikachu: Fine, go on ahead. *Goes inside and slams door*
~ Inside Pikachu's House ~
Pikachu: This stuff is so not real... What a weird dream. I mean, a Pidgey getting attacked by a Spearow... What luck! Where's this Pidgey crap coming from? I mean, have I stopped dreaming? I could be in the middle of the road. I hope I'm not getting hit by a semi! *Looks out the window* Woah, a glowing tree. That's it! I must be dreaming. Stupid ecstasy. *Goes to sleep*
~ The Next Day at Pikachu's House ~
Pikachu: *Walks outside*
Pidgey: GOOD MORNING!!!!!!
Pikachu: Oh my God...
Pidgey: You have such a beautiful garden! The trees are excellent!
Pikachu: You mean... You're not a...?
Pidgey: Let me introduce myself! *Changes into a...PIDGEOTTO!*
Pikachu: Sweet mother of...
Pidgey: My name is Pidgey! Just because I am a Pidgeotto doesn't mean I have to change my name. I'm a bird Pokémon!
Pikachu: *Heads back to his house* I obviously didn't get any sleep.
Pidgey: But you are wide-awake and renewed! (And I sound like a soap commericial.)
Little Oddish #1: *Jumps on Pikachu's shoulder* Don't be so stubborn!
Little Oddish #2: Give the girl a break!
Pikachu: If I am hallucinating, I rather sleep and go back to dreams that are less-real.
Pidgey: But I am real! Get that through your head! *Puts wing to Pikachu's face* See? I am real!
Pikachu: ... *Goes back to sleep*
Pidgey: YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME! All I want to do is thank you! And I want to grant you one wish!
Pikachu: Well, people who make wishes are usually feeling incomplete. I have everything I need!
Pidgey: WHAT?!
Pikachu: I mean, I love what I do. Slacking is pretty easy. I have nothing to be unhappy about. Besides... Isn't it up to me to fulfill my own dreams?
Pidgey: W-what...?!
Pikachu: OHHHHHHH, SHUT YOU DOWN.
Pidgey: Some wishes involve some bird-rific intervention!
Pikachu: Well, I guess I have to accept this reality. Some day, technology will give Pikachu wings...
Pidgey: BUT I'M A PIDGEOTTO!
Pikachu: You're nothing but nonsense! Goodbye! *Walks outside*
Pidgey: But I still haven't thanked you!
Pikachu: *Grabs a rake*
Pidgey: What are you doing?
Pikachu: Raking my yard, you [expletive removed].
Pidgey: Oh, I can help you with that! WHIRLWIND ATTACK!
~ A giant tornado of wind comes and starts blowing everything around ~
Pidgey: How's that?
Pikachu: *Stares at Pidgey, blown away from his house with leaves matted in his fur*
Pidgey: NO! I'm sorry!
Pikachu: Well, my yard is raked enough.
Pidgey: I promise to do better!
Pikachu: I don't need anything.
Little Oddish #1: Don't make her cry, you brute!
Little Oddish #2: Uh-oh, here come the waterworks!
Little Oddish #3: The tears will be falling like...rain!
Pidgey: Then I'll just stay until you do! So there! Besides, I can't go back home until I reward you! My master will beat me! I won't get in the way!
Little Oddish #1: Bawling like a baby.
Little Oddish #2: You ought to be ashamed!
Pidgey: I don't require food! And I'll make myself small! *Turns into a Pidgey* And I'll rake your yard everyday!
Pikachu: FINE! It's a free forest, anyway... And don't hold your breath.
Pidgey: You can't fool me. Besides, some wishes can't be fulfilled by oneself! You won't regret it! And can I call you Pikachu? Thanks! WHEE! I can't wait to get started!
~ The tornado outside continues sucking everything up ~
*********************** To be continued... Next: Chapter Two - A Pidgeotto's Day ***********************