Epic rap battles of
imperialists!
Britain vs. China!
Begin!
Britain: Look who's here, it's the monarch in red. The empire who's got nothing but air in her head. Why can't you just let loose, you arrogant bitch, because you're so uptight about tradition your people never are rich. This time you'll seriously lose like in the opium wars. I'll take away your kids and make 'em all into whores. I invented rap battles, you'll lose if you bet because my home's so big I never see the sunset!
China: You think you're so strong, you think you're so tough but when it comes to rapping you're skills are never enough. I'm the Queen of the east, the other Asians my bitches. Your cities are full of filth while mine are full of riches! I'll take you into court and you'll come out with stitches! You think you're torture's bad but I'll take your flesh out in pinches! British soldiers are wimps! They run away! My men will kill themselves on losing day! I've heard how you treat others,one word: viciously. No wonder many nations would eat you deliciously.
Britain: So what? You see, all the oceans are ruled by me. No matter if I'm in the east or west, when it comes to conquering I'm always the best! I've got cannons, guns and bayonets at my side. You can't even do an army stride. Mess with me, and I'll claim you for my queen, because it doesn't matter if I'm a little mean. And you're not the only one who has riches,
because India and Canada are both my bitches. I'll tie you a stake and set you on fire, just because I'm the motherfucking British Empire!
China: Bitches don't matter little lass. I've got Russia and Mongolia craving for my ass. You won a drug war, yet you can't feed your people! The sight of that is more disgusting than a steeple! I treat my tributaries with formal respect, while you abuse yours, which is so not prospect! Remember, I invented everything that's helped you so much including gunpowder for guns, paper and such! Besides, I've busted rhymes for four thousand years, so this battle does NOT heighten my fears. I've survived eight times death without a helping hand, and you might rule the seas but I rule the land!
Then she punched Britannia and they got into a brawl. Hong Kong had to call Ms. UN on the phone for help. " Yes... Ms. UN...This is Hong Kong... er my Mums got into another bar fight...yes...you will send peacekeeping forces..? Ok... Thanks."
Meanwhile Japan and Ottoman came in.
" I heard there was an imperialist rap battle," Otttoman said. " And we wonder if we could... join in.." Japan explained. The two female empires stopped fighting .
"Okay," Britain said," China you wanna team up on them?"
China smiled her " bussinessman smile"." Of course." she answered," What do you bet?"
" Two whole bottles of liquor from your place. Man, that booze is delicious," Ottoman answered. Japan nodded. "Ok. Fine with us", the women agreed.
Ottoman then grabbed Prussia who was nearby, and put his arms around her cooing," Hey baby, if I win this rap battle we can have free booze tonight." The other nation blushed and said nothing.
Britain and China giggled. " You know what?" Britain whispered," When this is over, lover boy will be in tears."
Japan looked on.