Authors Note: Watching the Stefan and Elena picture perfect life was not something easily accepted, because when Stefan and Elena are discussing Damon coming home with a girl there is a fraction of a second were Elena's expression looks displeased, and you could see there is more to the story, to their story. The writer in me couldn't resist so let's see what happens, be warned your emotions will get screwed with….

To the man who suggested to making a dedication to my professor who claimed I didn't have what it takes to get published I'd like to say thank you. For the longest time my sole mission during my not so real writing career was to prove him wrong, to make him see that I had the ability to succeed, but after writing this it seemed only fitting I change my direction. I would like to dedicate this to you, because you had once told me that in order for me to be noticed I needed to open myself up to passion, risk taking, vulnerability and any other human emotions that those who read this could relate to. This is me being open, and taking a risk and I only can wish that you'll one day see this and know I'm where I am because of you.

-Elena Gilbert

"Elena"

Hearing her name being called causing her to snap out of her trance as she diverts her attention away from the book she had been grasping tightly in her hands and over to her publicist "sorry" she apologizes with a sincere smile "guess I'm not fully here yet. I blame the nerves."

Maybe it was the nerves, but tonight was a big night, because for the past month she had been doing book tours from New York City to the windy city itself, and she had handled each one with grace. This though, this was different, because it was the final stop to her book tour, and her publicist Jess had found it only appropriate to end her tour in her home town, Mystic Falls.

Most people would embrace this, but Elena feared it, because this place held too many memories. The good, but mostly the bad because being here now had only been a constant and nagging reminder of everything that she had lost, and more so on her part what she had given up.

More than anything she wished she could blame it for being naïve, but that wasn't it. No, what was to blame was the simple fact that she was a coward. A young girl who at the time didn't deserve the title of woman, because she had been too selfish, and too scared to admit what she wanted 'I don't know' it had been her signature motto, because when it came to what she had wanted she just didn't know.

Thirty years old now and she finally had answered that age old question of what she wanted, but what scared her was the simple fact that maybe it had been too late, and maybe she had lost her chance tonight will only tell.

That thought alone causing her to scan around the room, searching for those eyes that still to this day continued to haunt her whether she is awake or dreaming.

"By now you're a pro at this Elena" Jess comments taking the book in Elena's hand and gently setting it down on the table. "You'll do your usual question and answer session and then head back to the table, make chit chat with your readers while you sign then you're done." Handing her a bottled water "and then you can start working on that anticipated sequel of yours" she teases with a grin.

Accepting the bottle with a grateful smile trying to conceal her nerves, and the second she hears Jess's comment she can't help but laugh at how funny that sounds "you and I both know that all depends" the sentence trailing off as she releases a shaky breath.

"On?"

"On if he comes" she says just below a whisper as her gaze once again casts around the room. Taking notice of the growing crowd, noticing some familiar faces, but to her disappointment not yet his. He's not going to come, there's no reason that he will or feels drawn to do so her heart immediately sinking.

"Hey" Jess immediately sensing the drop in mood from her client, and also lucky enough to designate her as one of her closest friends. Reaching out and placing both hands reassuringly on her shoulders "he's going to show."

Blinking back the tears threatening to fall, lifting her gaze and looking at her friend "and how do you know that?"

"Well" she begins "over this month alone you have seen and heard how influential your book is. Heard from your fans about their love for this angst filled couple who has the ability to tug at everyone's heart strings, and if you meant what you said about this being yours and his story then he'd be a fool not to show."

If only it was that easy but she remains silent knowing arguing wouldn't help matters. Being emotional and not composed was something that wasn't allowed, because she had an obligation to these people here that had chosen to spend their night with her, and the characters they had grown to know. "Thank you" unscrewing the cap of the water bottle, lifting it to her lips and taking a short sip before re-screwing it on. Carefully she peeks her head from the make shift curtain keeping her hidden from the awaiting crowd, and the second she hears her intro she sucks in a breath "show time" she whispers, walking out from the curtain and falling into her routine role as she offers the crowd a beaming smile.

"Matters of the Heart is the house hold conversation because you have a wide array of fans when it comes to this story. You have those in the younger and older generation yet age seems to not matter because everyone loves and in one form or another can relate to this book. It's so well known, there are rumors flying around that it might be made into a movie, and don't even get me started on how fans around the country are hoping a sequel comes out."

Don't fidget don't fidget the little voice in her head repeated as she sat there in her little black dress which showcased an intricate gold embroidery right down the bodice and paired with Brian Atwood black pumps. Even though this was a book signing, and the people here weren't dressed to impress she still felt the need to go that extra step on the off chance that he did make an appearance.

"It's still very overwhelming especially when I have fans come up to me telling me how much this book and these characters mean to them. I consider myself so blessed. It took everything in me, including all of my heart to write this story and to be able to share it but more so importantly have others reading it, it just means the world to me, and I'm so grateful for you all. I have been approached about the possibility of this becoming a movie, but I am still on the fence about this." A small giggle slipping past her lips as she catches the sound of "awww's" echoing in the room "I know, I know it's just someone once told me that its more powerful in words rather than scenes, because it's you who is the one creating the images of the surroundings, places, and characters. You're the one bringing this story to life in the way you want to see it, and I feel if it were to be a movie it would take the magic away."

"You make a good point" the commentator states "but let's get to the real question that everyone wants answered and that's can we expect a sequel anytime soon. Everyone is waiting on baited breath to know the fate of Damien and Erin."

There it was, that question that no matter what state she was in was always asked, and she'd usually reply with well we'll just have to see but this time her answer would be different, because this time she was finally ready to reveal the truth. "I know the answer that you all want to hear is that they find each other, and through all the pain they" correcting herself "she put him through that they are able to move past it….and finally be together, but I can't tell you that because the truth is…the truth is I don't know their fate, because I'm still not sure of mine. These characters and events weren't brought to life from my mind, but from actual trials of my life."

Elena's grip on her microphone increasing "I'm Erin" allowing the mask to slip and charade to finally come to an end, shaking her head "Erin is me….and this" her hand tapping the novel resting on her lap "this is my story, and like Erin I'm" nervously licking her lips "I'm waiting for my Damien to come back to me."

A sudden hush falling over the crowd as they let the author's confession sink in, Elena's gaze glancing over to where Jess was standing seeing her give her a thumbs up and encouraging to go on. Was it foolish of her to deliver such an admission? Most likely yes, but it was high time for a change for her to be honest with herself. This would change everything and result in new and very personal questions being tossed her way, but she was ready. After a few moments of silence she spotted a young girl who looked to be about eighteen hesitantly half raising her hand "yes?"

"H-hi" the young girl starts, seated in the back she stands so that she can be seen "I was just wondering since you used a pen name for Erin does Damien have one, and if he does what is it?"

This was it

The moment had presented itself; she had now put herself in the position of being an open book. Part of her wanted to flee and crawl back into that safe shell of hers she had hidden in for so long no we aren't doing that. For too long Elena had been afraid of the truth, too long had she been a coward to say it out-loud, and though it had taken her longer than she desired to admit it she now found herself ready.

"Damon"

The truth now out, and even though she knew the consequences that were sure to follow after this she couldn't help but feel relived. The weight of the world and her secret now lifted from her shoulders "his name is Damon" a bitter sweet smile slowly displaying on her lips.

"This is our story."