The Great Slave Revolt of '66
One day, somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, there was an island that acted as Yuri's central resource center.
The island had nearly no ground defenses, but had substance air defences.
With; 60 Air Based Gatling Cannons, and 40 Flack Cannons.
For ground defences, there was; 4 Psychic Towers (for when unloyal slaves tried to escape), and 5 Ground Defense Gatling Cannons.
The garrison consisted of; 30 Initiates, 10 Gatling Tanks, and 4 Lasher Tanks.
And last, but not least, the mining crew consisted of nearly 30 Slave miners, and over 300 slaves on them. Plus, the central refineries located in the base to further purify Yuri's ore, there were 5, and manning them were about 500 more slaves.
Although Yuri had been unaware of the fact (the stupid Bastard) the Allies had known of this island for some time, but had never found a way to take the damn thing.
Then one day, on the island, a slave named Bob thought up a crazy idea.
Bob: Hey, I went to the McDonalds in Shelviville on Friday night
Slave 1: The Mc what?
Bob: Uh, McDonalds restaurant. I never heard of it either, but they have over 2,000 locations in this hemisphere alone.
Slave 2: Must've sprung up over night
Bob: But you know what? It's the little differences
Slave 1: For example?
Bob: Well at McDonalds you can buy a Kong burger with cheese right, except they don't call it a Kong burger with cheese
Slave 1: Get out! Well what do they call it?
Bob: A quarter-pounder with cheese
Slave 1: A QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE? Well I can imagine the cheese,
but do they have Kong non-gelatinized gum based beverages?
Bob: Yep, they call them shakes
Slave 2: Shakes, you never know what you're getting
Slave 1: Well I know what I'm getting, some donuts
Bob: Hey guys, I just got this crazy idea
Slave 1: What's that?
Slave 2: How about a way to get to the Burger Kong
Slave 3: Yeah, I haven't eaten in days
Bob: Nah, better, we outnumber the garrison like almost 8 to 1 so why don't we get off this damn island and get the allies to take us off?
Slave 2: that'd be a good idea, except we don't have a way to contact the stupid allies
Just then, a fool of a spy swam to the island and disguised himself as a slave worker
Spy: Hi, my name is 000
bob: Well double 0 zero, what's up?
Spy: The allies want this place destroyed, they're willing to get you off But you have to kill the air defences somehow.
Bob: SO… If we kill the defense you'll come and get us off right?
Spy: Yep, that's about it
Slave 2: Sounds good to me
Bob: All right, it's a deal
Spy: Fine, I got to go, the allied 6th fleet is waiting less then four nautical miles off, be ready tomorrow.
Bob: So how dp we get out?
Spy: We have some people who are coming to handle that job.
Forman: GET BACK TO WORK!
Bob: Ok, see-ya…
Forman: These guys are so lazy, MINE! MINE, you fools!
The next morning, after Bob had told every slave in the island about the plan,
a SEAL team of 10, along with Tanya, swam ashore and hid in some
trees on the south part of the ore fields.
When it was time to work, all the miners redeployed right near the trees,
they opened up, and the slaves began to work.
One of the SEALS (A half witted guy named Plato) stepped forward and approached the only miner in the area.
Plato: DIE!
HE set a C-4 and the miner blew. This miner happened to be Bobs.
Bob: WE'RE FREE, WE'RE FREE!
Plato: Yeah whatever, now let's go get the rest and screw this place over
The whole SEAL team and Tanya moved out, they found all the rest of the miners about two clicks west, just about a mile south of the base.
Soon all the miners were blown except one, and the slaves were marching towards it, as if they'd just been reassigned to it or something.
Forman: DIG! DIG!
Bob: Sure whatever
Forman: WE NEED MORE
Bob walked right up to the foreman
Bob: I DON'T THINK SO ASSHOLE!
Bob then swung his shovel and killed the Forman
Slave 343: THEY'VE PUSHED ME TO FAR!
And then slave 343 started swinging in all directions, as he charged the base...
and then was immediately mind controlled and sent to the grinder
Slave 343: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Bob: Oh brother, attack the power plants you fools
All the slaves attacked the Bio-Reactors, then the refineries, and soon all 799(Remember 343 was a stupid idiot and got recycled) were attacking the last if the Bio-Reactors.
All communications were down, except threw the leader of the garrison, a Yuri Clone, named Yuri 56.
Yuri: YOU STUPID FOOL, YOU CAN'T EVEN CONTROL A BUNCH OF VORTHHLESS SLAVES!
Yuri 56: Master Yuri, de allies are helping them
Yuri: SHUT UP, YOU VILL GO TO DE GIRNDER!
Yuri 56: De grinder is offline
Yuri: DEN HAVE VUN OF DA MEN SHOOT YOU
Yuri 56: Dare all dead
Yuri: OH FOR GODS SAKE, GO OUT AND GGET KILLED!
Yuri 56: Da, Master Yuri
Yuri 56 then went out, just as 202 Night Hawk Helicopters roared over head and landed.
They all landed, and the slaves were told by Tanya to load up.
Soon all but three SEALs, Tanya, and Bob were left and one copter.
Yuri 56: LET ME ON PELASE!
He could see the massive 600 Harrier Air Strike prepping.
Tanya: There ain't room for you
Yuri 56 shot one of the SEALs
Yuri 56: NOW DARE IS, PLEASE LET ME ON!
They all loaded up (Except for Yuri 56) and took off.
Yuri 56 ran back too the com center
Yuri 56: YURI, GET ME OUT OF HERE PELASE!
Yuri: You disobeyed me, now you will suffer a death for it
Yuri 56: BUT, BUT...!
Yuri's voice disappeared
And then all the Harriers, blew the hell out of the island and metal and tanks and blood and flesh went everywhere before burning into oblivion
THE END
Oh yes, and after they got back, and the Slaves were all given names and made US citizens, Tanya and Bob started going out, they are now married and have three kids all going to West point in a few years.
Like it? Yeah I know, a bit crazy, but give me a break, I'm not ALLWAYS a serious writer. Anyways R/R!