Rogue and the Seven Weasley's
Disclaimer: I own Pyro. I kidnapped him. Actually, he came willingly. Hehe.
A/N: This is the sad, strange tale of a mutant girl and a wizard switching lives…before being thrown into Snow White land. What's up with all these freaking fairytale parodies. Oh I can't wait till Harry kicks the bucket as well…Diablo!…(Smiles innocently). As I was saying. Uh…(looks around nervously) CHIPMUNK!
(Rolls eyes) Ignore her. She's…insane. Anyway, this story is going to be really…interesting.
Yeah, I'm not sure if that covers it…
We really don't know what's going to happen or if anything will make sense, which it probably won't. But it should be a lot of laughs.
Ha.
I'm faithfulwriter.
And I'm el diablo. Or Maria. Depending on the day…
Oh, two of the characters are telling the story…because they can. And possibly doing much, much more. (Cackles evilly)
Chapter One
A walk through time…er, space?
Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a beautiful young princess named Rogue. She had hair as black as ebony, skin as white snow, and lips as red as a rose. Only…she didn't. But for the stories sake, we'll pretend like she did.
Rogue lived with her evil stepmother; the queen…who had a magic mirror, that she was a little too attached to.
"What are you implying by that?" The second secret storyteller asked.
"I'm not implying anything. That queen was more obsessed with herself than you are."
"Hey! I am not obsessed with myself." Second secret storyteller crossed their arms and stuck out their tongue.
"Sure you aren't." First secret storyteller said, rolling their eyes, "But Queeny was, so be quiet."
"Whatever, I'm telling this next part, though." SSS (second secret storyteller) said with a smirk.
"Fine, just get on with it." FSS (first secret storyteller) said, exasperated.
It was another normal, boring day at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Gambit was playing with his cards…Actually, he and Pyro were having a contest to see who could hit the moving target; the target in question: Kitty and Kurt, who were bored enough to allow themselves to be prey to two bored mutants. Lance and Pietro were involved in a deep conversation. It was so deep that it kept getting interrupted by Pietro's inability to NOT look at Tabby.
FSS took over again after shoving SSS off the couch.
Wanda was roaming the corridors of the mansion while plotting ways to torment her brother—and steal the attention of an obsessed maniac. CoughPyrocough. Wolverine was in the kitchen drinking all the beer he could find to prepare his nerves for Forge's meeting in about ten minutes. Forge was in the danger room and had stolen Rogue away to give him some help with "final preparations." Storm was off somewhere with Xavier. Scott and Jean were in the corner somewhere sticking their thumbs in some pies and pulling out plums.
"What?" SSS asked, after rejoining FSS on the couch; FSS merely shrugged before continuing.
Anyway, the time finally came for everyone to meet Forge in the Danger Room. The students were already there when Jean and Scott paraded in.
"Where's Logan?" Jean asked the room.
"How should we know?" Rogue asked, "You're the telepath, you tell us."
"I'm right here." Logan said, stumbling in, "Let's just get on with this."
Everyone looked toward Forge. "Yeah. Ahem. Behold the X- Porter." Forge said, pulling a sheet off an old machine that looked like a telescope mixed with a television.
"Did he really call it that?"
"Yep."
"Where was I?"
"We weren't invited, remember?"
"Oh yeah."
Anyway, it looked like a telescope mixed with a television.
"What does that thing do?" Wanda asked, just to move the story along. I mean, with a smile on her face.
"The X-Porter," Forge started, "has the ability to transport anyone or anything to anywhere. It can take you to another room, another dimension, another part of the world…it can even take you to places beyond your imagination. All with a push of a button."
"Just a push?" Kurt asked.
"Have you tried this thing?" Kitty added skeptically.
"Well, it's a prototype. There may be some adjustments that need to be made for far off travels, but it has proven successful so far." Forge answered.
"Can we see what it does now? Or are we all going to waste our time standing here talking about the thing?" Lance snapped before anyone else got the chance.
"Of course. Rogue is going to be the first to try it out. She'll be transferring from before your eyes to the kitchen. Are you ready?" He asked, turning to Rogue.
"Yeah, Ah'm ready," Rogue said as she stepped up.
"Kurt, would you be willing to meet her upstairs?" Kurt nodded and teleported to the kitchen.
Forge adjusted the nozzle to point directly at Rogue's head. He turned it on and it made a whirring noise. Then in the blink of an eye, a bright red light filled the room and Rogue was gone.
"Whoa," Remy said. "It worked!"
"Awesome!" Forge exclaimed happily. They all stood there for a few seconds.
"Forge, how long until Rogue appears in the kitchen?" Jean asked.
"She should be there as soon as she leaves our sight," Forge replied.
"Well, she's not there," Jean stated just as Kurt teleported back into the room.
"Please stay out of my head," Kurt blurted to Jean. "There is no Rogue in zhe kitchen."
"Uh…" Forge looked nervous.
"Where is she?" Gambit asked, feeling suddenly anxious.
"Well, she could be anywhere." Forge started to speak again but another bright red light filled the room and a figure stood before them as they opened their eyes.
"Rogue, chère…" Gambit started toward her.
"That ain't Stripes," Logan said, eyeing the odd-looking boy in front of them. "That definitely ain't her."
(S.C.)
"Fred! George! Will you warn a person next time you decide to Floo through their chess game?" Ginny exclaimed.
"Sorry, it wasn't planned," Fred said.
"We weren't even coming here," George added.
"Good. Then leave," Ron blurted quietly.
"We were on our way to the shop but since we somehow ended up here…" Fred started.
"Are you sure you didn't plan to come here all along?"
"I think I know when I say Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes and Burrow, Ron," George said. "They don't exactly sound alike."
"Then how did you get to the wrong place?" Ginny asked.
"What do I look like, a bloody mind-reader? How the bloody hell are we supposed to know?" Fred asked.
"What's all the yelling about in here?" Bill said as he burst into the room, Fleur close behind him. "Oh," his face dropped, "Why are you guys here?"
"Gee, what a welcome." Fred said.
"I just meant, I thought you'd be at the shop."
"Where eez 'Arry? I zought he vould be here by now," Fleur said to Ginny. She shrugged as Charlie came into the room.
"You guys sure do wake up everyone, huh? What's going on? Is Harry not here yet?" Charlie asked sleepily.
"No, he's not. I don't know where he is. He was supposed to be flooing here ten minutes ago," Ginny said.
Just at that exact moment the fireplace opened up and a figure fell from it. Dust flew around the room. "Harry, are you o—kay…?" Ginny started to ask.
"OY! That's not Harry!" Fred said.
"That's a blimey Muggle girl!" George pointed.
"Yeah, a bloody hot one at that!" Fred exclaimed. The entire room stood in disbelief at the woman who stood in their kitchen.
(S.C.)
"What's you're name, bub?" Logan asked as Storm handed the boy some water.
"My name's Harry Potter. Who are you? Where is this place? How did I get here?"
"Well, I'm Storm. That's Logan, Jean, Scott, and that's Forge. This is Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters…in Bayville."
"Where's Bayville?" He asked even more confused.
"New York," Scott said.
"New York? How did I get to New York?" The boy named Harry asked; they all looked at Forge.
"You, er, came through my machine. Tell me, were you traveling?" Forge asked.
"Yes, I was flooing to the Burrow—I mean…er…"
"Flooing? What's that?" Forge asked.
"It's, uh, travel…through fireplace," Harry said slowly.
"Fireplace?" Logan raised an eyebrow. "Where're ya from, kid?"
"From…not anywhere really. I mean, England…Number 4 Privet Drive, Surrey."
"You travel by fireplace in England? That's a new one," Logan said amused.
"He's not like everyone in England, are you Harry?" Jean asked. Harry looked at her curiously.
"Is he a…?" Scott asked her.
"No, he's not a mutant."
Harry and Jean looked at each other. "I'm a wizard." Harry replied.
"A wizard?" Forge said astonished. "Wicked! They must have switched. Rogue must be in his home since he's here. This isn't good. If the two of them have gotten their wires crossed, then who's to know what else has! Uh, I'm just going to go fix…this." Forge ran off before the sentence was even out of his mouth.
Harry looked at everyone. "What's a mutant?"
"We have powers too. We're born with them but we never know until we are older. I can control the weather," Storm explained.
"I can move things with my mind and—"
"Read people's minds. I got it." Harry said.
"I'm called Cyclops, I...uh…let's just say, I'm packing a bazooka behind each eye." He sighed.
"What about you?" Harry asked Logan. Logan looked at him and his claws came out.
"I can't be hurt. But I do cause a lot of pain," Logan said, his claws going back into his hand. Harry smiled weakly.
"What now?" Jean asked.
"Gather some students, Scott and I need to take Harry back," Logan looked at Scott and they looked at Harry.
(S.C.)
Rogue looked at the people around her. "Who the heck are ya? Where am Ah?" she exclaimed.
"Uh, we're the Weasley's. Who are you?" Charlie smiled.
"Mah name's Rogue."
"Hi Rogue, I'm Ginny. That's Fred and George, Charlie, Bill, Ron and Fleur. Did you mean to come here?" Ginny asked.
"Mean tah? I don't even know where "here" is, sugah.Ah was just goin' to the kitchen. Well,Ah came to a kitchen, just not the right one. Where am Ah?"
"England."
"England? Oh, his machine musta worked all right. Wait 'tilAh get mah hands on him that—didAh just get here through the fireplace?" Rogue looked around her at the family of redheads and laughed to herself. "How doAh get back to school?" Rogue asked, finally.
"Where's that?" Fred asked.
"Bayville, New York." Just then, Hermione screamed from upstairs. Ron zoomed toward the door but she was already entering the kitchen.
"What's wrong Hermione?" Ron asked her.
"Have you been outside this morning?" Everyone shook their heads. "Well, I think all of you need to see this." Hermione led them all to the door and opened it.
Everyone took a step out the doorway. The entire outside was something out of a dream. The trees were bright and the sky was colorful. The animals were singing and playfully prancing around the forest. "It all looks like a cartoon," Hermione said. "A drawing, something that's not real. Something someone made up and drew and made into a movie. This is a cartoon. This is very unusual. It's very—"
"Disgustin'!" Rogue screamed. Everyone turned to her. She was wearing a yellow dress with blue sleeves that puffed around her shoulders, yellow gloves and a red sash around her waist. Her hair was pulled back in a red hair band.
"Get this thing off me!" she yelled. She tried to pull it off but it wouldn't move. "Ah'm not wearing this!"
"Well one, if you're a cartoon, then you'll have to; they never change clothes because they are drawn on. And two," she looked at Ron, "Who is she?" Rogue turned on her heal and marched back into the house. This place was going to be the death of her.
First secret storyteller was laughing hysterically by this point in time, either because of what was going on in the story, or because of all the sugar they just had.
"Er…are you going to be ok?" SSS asked them; FSS calmed down a little.
"Yeah, just peachy." They giggled some more.
"Uh, how do you know what happenedat the other place?" SSS asked FSS curiously.
"Who said anything about happened? This is going on presently."
"You mean, whatever we say goes?" SSS asked, an evil smirk making its way onto their face.
A/N: Hmm…who are the evil secret storytellers? I'd say it's pretty obvious, but then again, I know. Haha. Oh, what kind of crap are they going to put everyone through? Well, you know the story. Anyway, stay tuned for more craziness provided to you by faithfulwriter and el diablo. And leave a review, would ya? Please be nice, though.
Heh, and we can't count. So ignore the fact that there are eight people at the Burrow. However, in this fic, Bill and Fleur are married. So technically, that's seven Weasley's and Hermione...who's there because she can be. Hah.