A/N: This was a random idea that my friend and I came up with today. She was dressed similarly to L, and doing something similar to cheerleading, and all of a sudden, the image of L as a cheerleader popped into my head. It wouldn't leave me alone, so I just had to type this up. This is not to be taken seriously.
Title: When Ls Can Cheerlead
Rating: G
Warnings: Crossdressing
Spoilers: Up to around volumes 5 or 6, but mild
Summary: One morning, while trying to find information
Disclaimier: I do not, will not, and can not own Death Note. DN belongs to its creators, Tsugumi Ohbaba and Takeshi Obata
"Give me an R!" A young, blonde woman shouted as she jumped up into the air. Her short pig tails flew up, as did her short skirt.
"R!" An older male responded, just as enthusiastically.
"Give me an A!"
"A!"
"Give me an I!"
"I!"
"Give me a T!"
"T!"
"Give me an O!"
"O!"
"What's that spell?"
"RAI- to…" Matsuda stopped halfway through the word, finally realizing what Misa Misa was spelling. He didn't know why he hadn't realized sooner, although he had a sinking suspicion that he was the only one who hadn't known.
"Are you finished, now?" Raito, himself, asked. He had his back turned to the rest of the investigation team, eyes trained on the computer screen before him. "It's starting to give me a headache."
"Eh!? I'm sorry!" Misa Misa wailed, rushing over to give her beloved a great big hug.
"Just stop, will you?" he grunted, turning to face his girlfriend, who was sobbing and apologizing for giving him a headache.
"Yes, do stop," Came another, more lazy voice from nearby.
"Why should I?" Misa Misa snapped, switching personas from a sweet girlfriend to an angry teen.
"Well, for one, you're annoying. But, there is also the 60 percent addition to that of you not being able to cheerlead," He told her lazily, looking over to Raito's computer screen. "Oh! Wow, Raito-kun, you hacked into the Yotsuba database. Amazing," he crooned, leaning over the arm of his rolling chair.
"What do you mean I can't cheerlead!?" She screamed. "Of course Misa Misa can cheerlead! She's a model! And an actress!"
"It wasn't that hard, really. There really weren't any protections," Raito explained, ignoring Misa Misa.
"Being an actress or a model doesn't mean that you can cheerlead, Misa-san," Ryuuzaki addressed the annoyed blonde.
"Think you can do better?" she sneered, getting right up in his face.
"Of course I can," Ryuuzaki replied in his 'I know so much more than you' tone.
"Prove it!" she shoved her red and black pom-poms into his face.
"But I'm not dressed appropriately for cheerleading," he protested, earning a few looks from the other members of the investigation squad.
"Oh! Misa Misa has an extra cheerleading uniform in her suitcase! It might fit!" she piped, rushing to her room to grab the aforementioned garmet. Five minutes later, Ryuuzaki stood in the middle of the investigation room, wearing a read and black cheerleading uniform consisting of knee-length red and black striped socks, a short red and black skirt, and a red shirt that barely covered his midsection. Beside him, a very peeved Yagami Raito stood handcuffed to the crossdressing detective.
"Show us what you've got!" Cheered the investigation squad. Or, more specifically, Misa Misa and Matsuda, who were the only ones who seemed to enjoy this. Ide, Aizawa and Yagami-san seemed to want to puke.
"Alright! Here we go now!" The scruffy haired teen started off, raising his pom-poms into the air.
"We're headed for the top We're solid as a rock We can't be stopped Because we're HOT! HOT! HOT!"
"We're fired up with spirit So come along let's hear it Let's do it with lot's of style Hey hey, what do ya say Everybody get wild!"
The team and Misa Misa stared on in amazement as Ryuuzaki, the world class detective L, proved that he could cheerlead. He flipped, he did the splits, he jumped, he moved in ways that made them wonder if he'd ever been a cheerleader in high school. Of course, this also made them wonder whether or not he ever went to an actual high school.
"So, what do you think?" His pale skin was dripping with sweat, as this was the most exercise he had probably had in quite some time, matting his dark hair to his skin. Of course, he wasn't nearly as sweaty as Raito, who had had to run behind the flipping detective in order to keep upright.
"Couldn't…you…have just…undid…the chain…Ryuuzaki?" the teen panted.
"But if I had done that, you might have killed someone, and I wouldn't know how you did it," Ryuuzaki stated sternly, though it sounded to Raito like a whining child.
"Wow! Ryuuzaki-san really can cheerlead! Where did you learn?" Matsuda applauded, asking the auestion on everyone's minds.
"Well, while I was growing up, I got shuffled around a lot of places. One of the places I got sent to was big on gymnastics and cheerleading. So, I had to learn," Ryuuzaki told them, revealing a rare bit about his past.
"So, you were an orphan?" Raito asked innocently.
"Yes. I am. But you can get no information about me from that," the black haired detective smiled. Meanwhile, Misa Misa sat in a corner, not so subtly sulking from having her pride bruised. She was a cute, young blonde actress and model, who could sing! It wasn't right that she was out-cheered by an unattractive, old, perverted, sugar-addicted couch potato!
"It's not fair!" she wailed, and her ever-loving boyfriend rushed to her side. Raito proceeded to take her to her room and calm her down. A pale detective with mussy dark hair and raccoon-like eyes followed behind the two with a box of doughnuts, and proceeded to sit down on one of Misa Misa's couches, still clad in her cheerleading outfit.
"Don't you want this back?" he asked once she was calm again.
"No. It has L germs on it,"