this is for sylvia (glowing neon) for the gift giving extravaganza. hope you enjoy and i'm sorry for any feels caused...

Almost every year, James manages to set up the Gryffindor Secret Santa so that he receives Lily. Setting it up probably isn't the right term for it, though, seeing as all James does is ask around to find out who pulled out her name and bugs, bribes and bullies them until they switch with him. It's the source of amusement to many Gryffindors as James is never very subtle about it and no one is exactly shocked when, yet again, Lily is handed a present by James that she's probably going to throw into the bin straight away or never actually use.

First year, it's a quill. To be fair to James, it's a rather beautiful quill. To be fair to Lily, she already owns about twenty quills, each of them perfectly alright to use for a few more years. The quill goes into the bottom of her trunk and she doesn't use it until many years later when she's writing to Sirius about a new toy broomstick and James reads over her shoulder, laughing as he throws a moving photograph her way.

Second year, James buys Lily a bracelet. For a twelve year old boy, it's quite a thoughtful gift, or it would be if it weren't made out of bright pink wooden beads that he'd stolen from his neighbour's younger sister. To Lily's credit, she wears it when she's twenty one in late October and promises James she'll wear it again sometime. To James credit, he shakes his head and tells her that it's really okay if she never wears it again, since it was the worst present he ever bought her. Lily then reminds him about fourth year and he shuts up.

Third year, James upgrades to Honeydukes Chocolate. This is a present that Lily is actually happy with straight away. Years later, she shares a box of chocolates with James and laughs with him about how maybe the chocolates were the beginning of their relationship, not the first kiss they shared by the Gryffindor fire in Seventh Year. Maybe Secret Santa was their basis of their relationship all laong.

James changes things around in fourth year and decides to write Lily a poem. The fact that the only rhyme he seems to able to find for Lily is 'silly' is made a hundred times more embarrassing by the fact that he recites it to her off by heart in front of the entire Gryffindor common room, to various applause, cheers and fake-retching. Seven years later, James still knows the poem and recites it to Lily once more, repeatedly until she kisses him to shut him up. James is perfectly fine with that.

Fifth year is a bracelet again, except this one is fine silver and Lily actually wears it straight away. She tells her friends that she just feels sorry for James and wears it because he must have spent a lot on it. The reality is that it's beautiful and Lily Evans is not in the habit of casting beautiful things aside just for the sake of a little rivalry. She wears it for several more years. She's wearing it when she dies.

For a moment, in sixth year, Lily thinks that maybe James didn't get her name for once. In the end, it turns out that, as always, James has bought for her and she ignores the slight thump in her chest as he walks towards her. She's supposed to hate him and yet she can't hold back the smile that spreads across her face when she opens a box to find a beautiful silver necklace that perfectly matches the bracelet James got for her the year before. She breathlessly says thank you and then makes an excuse to leave because she's pretty sure her cheeks are red and James Potter is not supposed to make her feel like that. Looking back on it in future years, she realises that maybe James was always supposed to make her feel like it. Whenever she's wearing the bracelet from fifth year, the necklace is on as well.

Seventh year, Marlene picks Lily's name out of the hat. No matter how much James begs, bribes and bullies her, the young woman does not give in and James is stuck with Frank Longbottom's name and he buys him a pincushion for some unfathomable reason. On the day that all the presents are handed out, James is miserable until Lily comes in his direction and sits down next to him, both of them by the fire.

"I'm your Secret Santa." she says. "Merry Christmas."

Lily isn't holding anything and James stares at her, dumbfounded. "Where's my present?" he asks.

Lily leans over and kisses him full on the lips. Her hands make their way to the back of his head and she grips his hair as he kisses her deep. Looking back, James really wishes that he had never tried to be Lily's Secret Santa and that she had always been his.

Neither of them know that they only have a few Christmases left.

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