Adjusting
A/N: So, I was rewatching Penn Zero and while it was nice to end in a happy ending and a somewhat solid conclusion, I felt it wasn't realistic in some parts. I mean, any kid would work hard to get their parents back, but after, when they find out their parents aren't who they thought they were and that their life was a lie? That would definitely be addressed. Maybe not immediately, since things tend to be stuffed down inside, but eventually the stress of repressed feelings would force you to talk about it.
And I like his optimistic take on life despite his plight, but he had to having some other feelings besides missing his parents. I mean, we've all seen at least one movie or TV show where someone is reacting to finding a truth about something, like (for example) in The Flash, when Iris found out about Barry. While she had no real right to be mad at him when it was Joe's idea, it was understandable being mad about finding out a big secret that was happening right under your nose. And Penn's parents knew that mission they took when he started high school might result in them not coming back, and that was brushed off by everyone.
Also in The Flash, Iris (who was once again being irrational and stupid) was mad because Barry had left her at the end of season 3, which was wrong because it's not as if he had a choice. Here, Penn's parents had a choice and they took the risk, and I felt Penn deserved to let out all his feelings. Just because everything turns out well, doesn't mean he was over what he must have gone through when he found out the truth and while they were trapped.
So, here's my first Penn Zero Part-Time Hero fanfiction. Hope you like. So sorry my first attempt at posting this came out wacky.
Disclaimer: Don't own the show, else there would have been a season 3 and a movie featuring Penn and Sashi's future and kids. Enjoy!
…
"Penn?" The boy in question started from surprised, having been too engrossed in his pondering to notice when he had stopped being the sole occupant of the living room. He looked up to see his mom by the stairs, the light in the hallway just bright enough to show her worried look.
"Sweetheart, what are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be in bed? It's one in the morning.," she asked gently, slowly walking towards him in a black pajama shirt and pants. She slid down to sit beside him on the floor by the couch, patiently awaiting his answer as Penn kept his gaze on the floor.
"I tried, but I… I couldn't sleep." He admitted, staring down at the brown carpet like it was very interesting all of a sudden, as he knew his mom was shooting him an anxious look. It wasn't a new thing, his being unable to sleep. In fact, since the week after he had gotten his parents back and they had moved back into the house while Uncle Chuck and Rose had left, he's been hit with a particularly stubborn case of insomnia. At night at least. For the past three weeks.
During the day, like when he was at school, or the afternoons when he was lounging, he would sleep for maybe an hour or two. This was bad on its own, seeing as he had homework and classes to do, but more often than not, his sleep was abundant with nightmares. Some of horrible moments during past adventures, some of the previous nightmares he's had about being unable to save his parents.
And one particularly terrifying one too horrible to even think about. Penn started again as he felt a hand on his knee, alerting him to his mom's presence again and causing him to blush for getting lost in thought again.
"Has this been a problem before? Your aunt and uncle never mentioned any problems sleeping before we came back."
"That's because there was no problem before now. I used to sleep just fine before, even when I had nightmares. This— whatever it is, is recent." Penn admitted, slightly curling within himself in slight shame. He could tell his friends were worried, especially Sashi. They also could tell he wasn't exactly ready to talk about it, so they just hung out and work on completing their 'missions'. He had good friends.
"Is something wrong? Maybe you caught something while you were in the Most Dangerous World Imaginable. Maybe we should—" His mom said with fussiness, getting up to probably get the huge supply of first-aid supplies they had in a secret compartment in the bathroom. (Boy was that a surprise when Penn found it).
"No!" He screamed, wincing at his almost-yell and cracked voice. He cleared his throat before he continued again as his mother turned back to him, "Uh, no, it's cool, mom. It's probably the zap finally catching up to me, you know? I was just like this after I went through the Zombie Apocalypse. And the time where I was turning into Monster Rippen. And that time when I had people fighting inside me while I was dying. And— well, you get the point. It's probably just the adrenaline. I'm sure I'll be fine soon. Maybe not right now, but soon."
His mom put her hand to his cheek, voice soft and concerned, "Are you sure, sweetheart? Are you really sure you're okay?"
He nodded as he leaned his face against the hand. "I'll be fine, mom. Promise." Though still careworn, his mom kissed his forehead and gave him a gentle smile, stroking his cheek for another moment before she got up and headed for the stairs.
"Try to get some sleep soon, okay?" were her parting words and then she was climbing the stairs. Penn waited until her heard his parents' bedroom open and then close again before he sighed heavily, guilt now another emotion he was currently feeling.
It wasn't the aftermath of a mission that was causing his sleeplessness, he knew that much. This felt more serious, and it was worrying him so much. Problem was, he had no idea what was the cause of his current situation. Meaning, he had no way of fixing it before his parents really started to notice and worry.
…
Penn stared at his reflection in the mirror, grimacing at his sorry state. After his mom had left him, he had waited about another half-hour before giving sleep another shot. He had lain in bed a long while before his body grew too tired to keep him awake any longer. Still, two hours of dreamless sleep was better than nothing after weeks of being kept awake.
But still, his disheveled appearance, including the dark circles around his eyes, made it quite clear that not all was well. And he had hoped to be more put together when the principal to replace Larry (who was rumored to have been lost at sea or to have run away with Rippen to start a new life together). After all, the new art teacher was great, but the principal could be worse than Rippen for all he knew. And there was only so many times you can worry your friends and family with your obvious problems before they take drastic action. Especially when everyone involved are used to taking drastic action for things.
Sighing to himself, he grabbed his backpack and headed downstairs. His parents were probably already there making breakfast of pancakes and bacon, just like they used to. He smiled at the thought, ready to go through the hallway to the kitchen when he could hear whispering from over there.
Penn had been a part-time hero long enough to listen to his instincts concerning things, and his parents talking quietly to each other was definitely cause for concern. Especially when he had a feeling they were talking about him.
The redhead inched his way to the kitchen, being as stealthy as possible, not stopping his little promenade until he was close enough to get the gist of what his parents were saying.
"I mean, a week or two, maybe. But it's been almost a month and he still isn't getting better. It's really worrying me, Brock. I can't figure out what's happening."
"I'm sure if it was serious, Penn would tell us, Vonnie. He's never hid how he was feeling before, why would he start now?"
Penn felt a sudden burst of anger filling his throat at his dad's statement. Which was confusing, but not surprising. Feeling negative emotions at random times had started to become a frequent thing, as troublesome as the insomnia, worse even. It was like during quiet moments or when his parents were talking to him, he would start wrestling with sudden feelings of sadness, anger and resentment. It was so shocking that during those times, he tended to just shut down, hoping if he was quiet enough, it would go unnoticed.
"It's not just that. He's been so quiet lately, so secretive. He seems so happy one moment and then the next, it's like there's a raincloud over his head and the weight of the world on his shoulders. I just don't understand what's happening with our son." Penn winced internally at the confirmation that no, he was not hiding his internal strife from his parents, like he had hoped.
"Well, honey, not everyone can handle being a part-time hero well. And Penn has been handling it so well, it was bound to hit him one day. Now that's it all over, maybe it's just occurring to him how dangerous it all was or how many times he could have died or really just how much he's changed from how he used to be," he heard his dad say.
"You think so?" his mom replied with motherly worry. He could almost hear his dad nod in confirmation while trying to soothe his mom's hand wringing. "Of course. You remember how we were when we first started. Not exactly the levelheaded, 'roll with it' duo we are now. It's hard to see him struggling so much, but we should let him deal with it on his own until he's ready to talk about it. All we can do is love him and be there for him when he needs us."
Penn waited to hear more, but it was silent after that, the only sounds being the bacon sizzling and the scrape of utensils on glass plates. Waiting a few minutes to cover up the fact that he had been eavesdropping, the boy walked in, giving off a big yawn to sell the whole "just woke up, got dressed and am ready to eat" thing. "Morning, mom. Morning, dad."
"Hey there, son. Your mother told me you had some trouble getting your eyes closed last night Glad to see you managed to catch some winks since then." His dad greeted back, placing a plate of pancakes and bacon on the counter where he usually ate. Penn took his seat, conjuring a weak smile before he dug in, trying to hide the fact that he was choking on every bite.
Being unable to sleep and emote well, his parents could handle, but he was sure they would rush him to the doctor if he revealed he was having trouble eating as well. Not a big deal on its own, but on top of everything else, it was a problem. After all, the bangs under his eyes and the confusing feelings were things he could hide, but if he got thinner than his shirt, it would be physically proof of his problem, whatever it was.
Pushing back his half-finished food, Penn made a show of quickly grabbing his bag and going to stand by the door. "Sorry, guys. I'm late for meeting Sash and Boone for a thing. Gotta get going, bye!" And then he attempting to leave the house almost an hour earlier than he would have left on a normal day.
"Hey, pal?" his dad called for him, making him hesitate and turned just in time to see them share a reck look. "Isn't it a little early for school?"
"Besides, you haven't finished your breakfast, sweetie." His mom added, looking at his plate that didn't look like he took even four bites from it. Penn gulped as quietly as he could while nervously answering, "Just not hungry, guys. No big deal, I'll just save my appetite for lunch."
He watched as his parents shared another troubled look before they started walking forward, gentle looks on their faces. "Are you okay, Penn? Really?" His mom inquired softly.
"Because, if you aren't, its okay, bud. We'll work through it, like we do every other problem we have." His dad said, voice just as low as his mom's.
Penn hastily shook his head, feeling weirdly claustrophobic and stifled. "It's nothing, really. I can handle it myself, no worries." He stated, fighting the urge to race out the door and being free of his parents' looks.
"Penn, I don't want to sound like I don't believe you, but…" His mom turned to his dad with a speculating gaze as he finished his mom's previous thought, "…that sounded like a lie, pal."
"Must run in the family." It took several seconds for Penn to recognize that was his own voice, and a couple of seconds more for him to realize what he had just said.
He had no idea where that came from, but it was said sardonically and harshly, so unlike his way of speaking, he was almost certain something had possessed him just to say that.
His parents were looking at him like he had slapped them, twin expressions of shock staying on their faces, as they grew speechless. And then Penn knew he had to leave, now. He didn't know why he had said what he had said, but he had said it, and he wasn't ready to think about what that meant if he had unconsciously said something so coldly. Or that it felt like a jab to his parents.
He had to go, he felt very much like throwing something and/or crying his eyes out, and he still wasn't sure why, but he knew he wouldn't figure it out just then. "Uh, see you later!" he choked out, rushing out before anything else could be said, by them or himself.
Unfortunately, that probably cemented that there was trouble in his parents' minds, which meant they would probably force him to talk when he came back from school. Fortunately, this was not the first time he has been early in his haste to get away from suspicious looks and hard conversations with his parents, and as such, had someone waiting for him too.
He smiled as he saw his girlfriend of three weeks, Sashi Kobayashi, waiting for him with a medium cup of coffee, feeling himself relax for the first time since he woke up. "Hey Sash," he greeted warmly, taking the cup as it was handed to him, breathing in the sweet smell of caffeine through his nose before he took a big sip. "Thanks. I needed that."
"Avoiding talk to your parents again?" his female travel companion asked as they both started the semi-long trek to school. He solemnly nodded, progressively drinking his coffee between sentences as he talked. "They want answers I can't give, and I just not sure what to say when they notice some of the problems I've been having. Also, I may have said something scathing I hadn't meant to say."
"I get it. It can't be easy seeing someone who they care so much about suffering so much and not really talking about." Penn turned at the pointed sentence, seeing Sashi looking forward instead of facing him at all, like she wasn't speaking to him in the first place. He nodded to himself, following her example and staring ahead.
He knew Sashi and Boone were expressing solicitude too. They same way they sympathized when he talked about his parents or when he was in trouble. It can't be easy to follow his lead and just pretend it was a regular thing that would eventually go away on its own. But, Penn made sure to show his appreciation as subtly as he could, like talking about his nightmares without any prompting or to go have a sleepover at their house once or twice. It was easier to sleep when he was around them sometimes.
"I just… it's not easy to explain what's wrong with you when you don't know yourself. And it doesn't help when I do eventually get some sleep, I have those awful dreams keeping me up most of the time. And they're getting worse." He complained.
"Did you have a new one recently?" was Sashi's hesitant question, which told the redhead how concerned she must have been, since he knew Sashi wasn't gentle or placating in the slightest. She was friendly and comforting at times, but she was mostly intense and forceful. It's what he liked about her.
"No," he replied heavily, hanging his head down and seeing nothing as he stared at the ground. "It's the same one." He distinctly heard the hiss of pathos his girlfriend gave off as he finally unblocked what has been haunting him the most.
The dream that was most frequent, the nightmare that made him so afraid and unable to sleep, was always the same. It was of those moments when he finally facing his parents where they were trapped in the Most Dangerous Imaginable, the only thing he had to do was grab them. All he had to do was pull them out.
The only difference was, it was like he was having an out-of-body experience, watching it happen instead of going through it himself, a uncanny detachment. And he watched as the Penn that was standing before his located parents just stood there, completely unmoved by his mom and dad's pleas for him to take their hands. He watched, unable to move or scream at all as he watched the brief window that would finally bring his parents back to him, was slowly but steadily closing.
Penn could see the carbon copy of himself just stood there, nothing prompting him. Then, just as nothing but his mom and dad's faces were visible, their faces would distort with true grief and anguish as the opening closed, forever. Then Penn watched as his duplicate turned around, a spiteful and smug grin on his face, a look that could only described as victorious in his eyes as he laughed rather diabolically to the sky. And that was around the time he would wake up.
"What do you think it means?" Sashi asked, this inquiring also full of dubiety. Penn scoff, another thing he didn't usually so, as he replied, "Well, either my brain is being cruel by warping that day into my ultimate nightmare or my mind is secretly telling me what it actually wished happened that day."
"PZ, I'm sure that isn't true."
"Think about it, Sash. Almost every night, I dream about deliberately leaving my parents in the Most Dangerous World Imaginable. Not because I was in trouble or because Rippen had stopped me, but because I chose to do it. I see the look in my eyes as I do it too. I was so gleeful and vindicated when I did it, like it was my goal in life. I mean, how could anyone dream about doing that to their parents and being happy about it?"
He felt a gentle touch to his shoulder and turned to see Sashi giving him a concerned look. Since they had finally gotten together, she had really turned into a more relaxed and touchy-feely person, with her ferocity still there for when she needed to tap into it. "I think the fact that this nightmare is distressing you so much means that it can't possibly be a secret desire you have. Although, it would probably be best if you evaluate yourself and figure out what it could mean that you keep dreaming about it. Just remember, I'll be here to kick its butt if you need me too."
The redhead laughed at that, using his own hand to grab the one Sashi had on his shoulder and squeeze it gently. "Thanks, Sash." After a quick kiss, they continued the long trek to school, both feeling lighter than they had when the day started.
…
The new wasn't so bad, honestly. She wasn't as crazy optimistic as Larry, but she wasn't a drag either. She seemed like a less sassy version of pirate Maria. Which was comforting, all things considered. She made a bug announcement, assuring the entire student body and staff that while she wouldn't show favoritism to anyone, she would also not abuse her power negatively. That it was a fresh start for all of them, and they should make the best of it.
It was nice, not having another drone for a principal. It wasn't until the principal, named Mrs. O' Shannon, was introducing herself that it finally hit Penn that it was a regular event. And, now that Rippen was no longer here, he was finally getting good grades in all his classes and not having mini snark sessions with any of his teachers. Finally, he could have a normal day at school, without bearing the knowledge that those higher than him were his mortal enemies— part-time, at least.
It was also a good thing, because it managed to keep him up for a few extra periods. Whenever his sleepiness would come back to an unusual extent, it was better when it hit him during lunch. That way, he had about twenty minutes to take a quick nap, then another ten to eat whatever Sashi and Boone had saved him before he had to go to class. On good days, that method was enough to get him through the rest of the day until he went home. On bad days, it barely made a dent, so to speak.
It wasn't a solution by any means, but it brought him temporary relief some days and that was better than nothing.
"Still got the sleeping troubles?" Bonne asked as he was taking his ten minutes to eat his pizza slice. "Yeah," Penn sighed back, keeping a steady eye on the clock as he worked through his lunch, "I just don't understand what's wrong with me. I was fine before. I never let a mission effect me this much, no matter what." And they've had many gruesome zaps before.
The redhead turned his eyes away from the clock just in time to see his best friend and girlfriend share a look that was a combination of sorrow and resignation. Penn could only blink, "What?"
They were quiet, as they seemed to communicate silently before Sashi sighed and said, "Penn, I think it's time we talked."
"Uh, okay. About what?" he asked, worry edged in his voice.
"Not here. After school." And then Sashi rushed off with her empty tray before he could reply with another question. Penn turned to Boone, more than a little confused, to find the former part-time wise man was looking uncharacteristically serious.
"Trust me Penn, this is long overdue." And then he rushed off too, leaving the redhead even more confused. But he still planned meet his girlfriend when school finally ended.
…
When the school day was finally over, Penn headed to their new meet up place now that the theater was gone for good: the front yard of the old man's mansion, by the fountain. The elderly guy was pretty liberal towards them considering all they've been through. The redhead saw his girlfriend was already there, sitting on a blanket that was laid out for them.
"PZ. Glad you made it." She said mildly enough, though something was still off in her voice. Penn shook his head and tried to smile. "Hey, Sash. So, uh, what's this about?"
His girlfriend indicated the spot next her, mouth closed as she waited for the redhead to obey. Penn complied, a little worried about the cryptic meeting that was taking. Was something wrong? Was all the stress of his plight too much? Oh gosh, was he about to be dumped?
"Hey, doofus," Penn started, not noticing he was a step from hyperventilating until Sash gave him a love-tap punch to the shoulder. Turning the face her as he rubbed his slightly bruised arm, he saw her looking at him with an amused expression. "Stop worrying, we're not breaking up . This talk isn't about that."
The young Zero practically deflated with relief at the news. "Oh, okay. That what are we here to talk about?"
Sashi sighed, seeming to steel herself for the conversation ahead, "Boone and I have been talking, and we think we know what's causing your sleeplessness and nightmares."
Penn perked up at that. "Really? Why didn't you guys tell me, this is great news! Lay it on me, Sash, what's the problem and how do we fix it?"
"Penn, I don't know how to say this delicately, so I'll just come out and say it. And, when I do say it, please listen to me before you get impatient or dodgy or—" The boy interrupted the former part-time sidekick. "Sash, just spit it out, I can take it." He reassured, steeling himself for whatever she was going to say.
He watched as his friend also steady herself before she said rather bluntly, "Penn, I think you're mad at your parents."
He heard the words, but he didn't really comprehend them until ten seconds have passed. Even then, when the words had sunk in, he feels vaguely like he's been punched in the gut, and even though he fully acknowledges the words, he doesn't accept them. For a while, it's just a loop, the words sinking in, the realization, and when he get it, it stabs him again, over and over.
"I'm sorry," was that his voice coming out so faint and shaky, "could you repeat that last bit? The part where you think I'm dreaming about leaving my parents in a lost world because I'm so mad I'm sick enough to do something so horrible!" His voice had progressively gotten louder until he was yelling when he got to "horrible".
"PZ, just let me explain. Please?"
A part of Penn wanted to run away right then. Another part, the side of him that knew Sashi and knew she always told him what he needed to hear, even if it hurt, could recognize that she was genuinely trying to help him right now, stayed seated and nodded for her to proceed.
"Penn, I've seen you feel a lot of things about this thing with your parents when they were trapped. You were sad, you were longing, you were mad at the situation. But you were never mad at them, when you had every right to be. I mean, I know I got on you for crying about your parents, but that's because I figure you would be more frustrated. After all, you found out a lot of things about the people who raised you, things you never suspected about them, and things that were kept secret from you. Don't you think you deserve to feel angry, just a little?"
"That's crazy, Sash. They were trying to give me a normal life, that's all. I mean, sure they negated all that by choosing to stay in a dimension they had no hope of ever leaving, but what could they do, they were saving the Multiverse. And yeah, they kinda left me floundering, having this huge responsibility dumped on my shoulders, but no big deal, it was necessary. And yeah, I had to live with my uncle and aunt with their chinchilla, and then get used to this new life I had while only talking to the people who gave birth to me once in a while, but whatever, I handled it just fine."
Sashi watched as her boyfriend was growing more downtrodden and choleric as he listed all that was wrong about what happened before. Now that he had started, he was really going, his frustration apparent even as he tried to play off all that he had endured. Eventually, he stopped dismissing the bad stuff he went through and started really talking about what was chapping his hind.
"And I had no training, no warning, NOTHING! I mean, who just does that to a kid who just started high school?! I wasn't allowed to be scared or have bad days, I had to be the hero, even when I wasn't ready and when I just wanted a break. And I was put in an impossible situation where my art teacher and principal were people I was fighting against, where my arch nemesis was the reason I was practically an orphan, and I had to regularly go toe to toe with him with snark and weapons. Not only that, but I had to deal with missing them, which made it hard to feel anything else, but I wanted to be mad. At Phyllis, at Rippen, at my parents! I mean, who does that to a just barely teenager, be all clandestine all his life and then make it all up to him, which means you have to hold it together and you have to make do with the little joy you have, else you'll drown. So, you bet I'm mad. I'm mad at my parents!"
Here, Penn finally took a break to pant angrily, looking very much like he wanted to break something. Then he curled into himself, looking like his whole worldview had been changed.
"I'm mad at my parents… gosh, what is wrong with me?" He pulled his knees to his chest and bowed his head in shame. Sashi put her hand gently on his shoulder, making sure he was facing her general direction before she spoke.
" It's more understandable than you think. PZ, I've watched you deal with what you had to deal with. You had to get it together, for all of us, and you could only focus on one goal to get you through it. I've seen you bury your feelings, and it wasn't until we went on the adventure with the Last Mountain Beast that I realized how hard you've been pushing everything down in order to do the right thing for everyone else. So, now that you don't have to hold it back, you're feeling everything at once. You didn't realize you were mad until now, just like you probably didn't realize you were unhappy this whole time."
"But… but how can I be unhappy? My parents and I, we're a family again. No more dangerous missions and short talks with my MUHU. Things are finally coming together, what could possibly be holding me back now."
"Penn, it's good you have your happy ending now. But your feelings from before, you never really resolved them. You ignored them and pushed them away and never acknowledged them. So, of course it'll all come rushing to the surface now. Because, getting all the issues out in the open is the only way you can all move on and really be a family. That's how it was for my parents, at least."
The redhead listened to his companion with a somber look on his face, looking in the eye for a moment before looking down at the ground again. "You're right. If I'm ever going to get over this, I need to talk to them and hope they understand."
Penn felt Sashi put her head on her shoulder, "They will." The couple relaxed into each other, soaking up the peaceful day and marveling over the big talk they just had. Sashi felt the Zero grab her hand with his and give a little squeeze. "Thanks, Sash."
She simply nodded, so worn out emotionally that all she could do was lean more into her boyfriend and close her eyes.
Many hours later, just as it was becoming night, Penn found himself outside his house. Taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart, he opened the door, almost flinching back when he saw his parents jerk their heads towards the door. They were on the couch, a plate of pizza waiting for him as well.
"Hey, pal. Held up by the new principal?" his dad asked, caution in his voice. He obviously still remembered breakfast this morning, and was probably unsure how to bring up his outburst and his obvious distress. Which meant he would have to take the initiative.
Penn sighed as he dropped his backpack by the table. Standing in front of his mom and dad, the redhead made sure to look them both in the eyes before saying as steadily as he could, "We need to talk. Now."
…
"— and then I just laugh after leaving you trapped there, forever." Penn concluded, head hung down in shame. He was sitting on one end of the couch while his parents sat on the other end, facing each other as they talked. So far, they had kept silent as he explained the many dreams that were bothering him, especially the all-so despicable one.
"Wow," his mom commented, sharing a look with his dad. "No wonder you've been unable to sleep, sweetie."
"Yeah," the son agreed softly, still talking with his face to the ground, "so, for a while now, I've just been trying to figure out why I was having dreams like that. Why was I so full of sadness and anger nowadays. Why I haven't felt close to you guys since you came back. I didn't know until Sashi and I talked earlier today."
"What is it, Penn?" his dad asked lowly.
Penn gave a big sigh, taking a moment to meet his parents' eyes before looking back at the floor. "Look, I know you guys went into the Most Dangerous World Imaginable because you had no choice. I know you were saving me and the rest of the Multiverse doing that, and that you are grade-A heroes. I'm not disputing that."
"Yessss…"
"But, Sashi made me realize… I'm mad at you. For me finding out the way I did. That I had to live with my aunt, uncle and their chinchilla. That I had no choice but to keep it together while you guys were gone. Which I know makes me sound like an ungrateful jerk, but…"
"But, what?"
"But you guys left me alone! You say you love me and you did it for me, but the bottom line is you abandoned me!. And then I had some weird theater lady tell me I had to do your jobs, that you took this job knowing the risks and just hung me out to dry. I mean, did you guys really think letting me think my life was normal was more important than preparing me, or letting me know just how dangerous your jobs were? I mean come on, you could have said something, like: 'Hey, son, what's up? You shouldn't care too much, but we're going on missions to save the world every day. If we're not back in time for dinner, guess it didn't work out'. I mean, did you think about how I would feel at all?"
"Penn, we—" his dad tried to interrupt, but Penn steamrolled him, looking them in the eye with an intense look on his face. "I was mad! I was sad. I felt so clueless and afloat. A lot of days, I was scared. I had to go through so much while you guys were stuck in that world, but I couldn't let myself feel those emotions because everyone needed me to get it together. I had to be the hero, I had to be able to face Rippen at school, I had to talk on the MUHU without screaming at you for just dumping all this on me. And so I did. I didn't dwell on my feelings about finding out the truth because if I did, I wouldn't get anything done. I had the most important part-time job and I couldn't let my want to save you, or even see you again get in the way. And that was SO HARD."
"Oh, Penn," his mom whispered sadly.
"I missed you guys so much, and it was a lot easier to put all my focus there, because at least then, all I had to deal with was my sadness. And I could deal with that, just being sad. Bu now that you're back, and things are normal again, I just find myself feeling all the things I pushed down before. And I hate this! I hate that you guys kept these secrets and I hate that basically every day since you were gone was full of danger, and I hate that I hate that, because there were innocent people that needed to be saved and I was the only one who could. I hate that I sort of owe Rippen now, even though he's the one who took you away in the first place and I hate that a part of me is glad he's trapped himself someplace where I'll never see him again. And I hate that there were some days where I had to choose the world I was in over you guys and that if it hadn't been for my friends reminding me, I would choose you. Every time. Even if other worlds were destroyed in the process."
At this point, the elder Zeros were quiet as they let their son get out all he was feeling, as his ranting wasn't slowing down at all.
"And this whole time, I've been trying not to think about it, you know, because it's kinda over and done with, but it doesn't feel that way to me. And I'm glad you guys are back, but most days I want to scream, and I can't because what kind of horrible person would be upset when everything worked out for him! I got my parents back, something most orphans would love, and my life is perfect. I got friends, an awesome girlfriend and have saved the world so many times that I should probably have a medal at this point. What the heck do I have to whine about? But I can't help it, because you guys left me. I was alone here, and I needed you. And you left. How could you do that?" Penn whispered chokingly, wiping his eyes as the tears he had long held back started coming down.
Here, Penn more felt than saw his parents come to him at last, sitting on either side of his and hugging him tightly. The redhead hugged back, trying to blink the crying away so he could speak clearly, "I don't want to feel this way. It's horrible and selfish, feeling this way, I know that. But I do. And I feel like if I bottle it up any longer, I'm going to explode. I'm sorry."
"Oh, it's okay, pal," his dad said softly, pressing his face to his son's hair. "You have nothing to be sorry about. Really. You have every right to feel all those things towards us and about everything else you've been through."
"And it's good that you're finally getting this out. I know you hate it, but you have to. You have to be honest and open about how you feel so you can move on." His mom added, stroking the side of his face as she nuzzled him. "That way you can heal."
And that was the last straw for Penn. It was all too much, the conflicting feelings, his parents understanding of said feelings. Soon, the tears he had been holding back since he first found out his parents were trapped in the Most Dangerous World Imaginable came pouring down. And his parents were there to comfort and hold him.
And, as he let everything out, he found himself feeling lighter, more refreshed. It seemed as though Sashi and his mom was right: talking about everything he was feeling was better for him. The anger and sadness were not gone, parse, but they were overwhelming and confusing anymore. For the first time in a long time, Penn felt he could move pass all that happened to him.
When he finally finished sobbing, he felt tired. As he struggled not to close his eyes, he surly inquired, "What now?"
He felt himself being pushed down into something soft and something stroking his face as a soft voice answered, "Well talk about that in the morning, sweetie. Just get some rest for now. We'll be here when you're up."
And then the youngest Zero fell into a deep sleep.
…
It was the next day after school when Boone and Sashi decided to visit Penn's house. He had not shown up all day and the two friends wanted to make sure he was okay. They knew the Zeros talking was long overdue and understood that a breakthrough would have been made during it. Sometimes, it was enough to break a family.
So, they went to his house, carrying notes and homework for their friend. When they finally made it there, they were surprised to see about four suitcases loitering by their car. They hurried walked up to see Penn dragging a suitcase to join the others.
"Penn, buddy, what's happening?" Bonne asked with makeshift casualness, the alarm care in his voice. Penn turned to them, looking surprised to see them, "Oh, hey, guys. I was gonna call you. Or come to see you, whenever I had time for later."
"PZ, is something wrong?" Sashi asked gently.
"No, why" Penn blinked, true confusion in his voice. When his friends motioned to the suitcases, the boy's eyes cleared in realization. "Oh, the suitcases. Oh, no, it's all good. It's just my parents and I decided it was best that we left town."
"Wait, what?" the friends said in unison, shock clear on their faces. "You guys are leaving Middleton? And you were going to tell us over the phone?" Sashi screamed, anger mixing into her voice and looking very close to strangling her boyfriend.
"No, no, no! It's not leaving as in moving away, it's leaving as it a vacation. A break, you know? For all of us." Penn hastily explained, hands up as a show of calming.
Sashi and Boone shared another look before he asked, "What happened after your talk, dude?"
"Well," Penn started as he put suitcases into the trunk of the car, " after airing out my dirty laundry to my parents, and getting some much needed sleep, we talked some more. And we realized that since they came back, we've been kind of pretending nothing happened. Now that Phyllis and dimensional zapping is over, we all thought we could close that chapter of our lives now. But, when I told them what I was feeling, we realized we just couldn't go back to our life before. And we just couldn't ignore what we did and didn't do before. So, we decided that a little getaway would do us some good. Then, when that's over, we're going to start going to a family therapist Phyllis recommended to us on our job reference papers."
"Wait, Phyllis gave you guys a family therapist?" Boone asked, "All she gave me was her bear."
"Yeah, I guess she figured we would need it. Dr. Buttermen sounds nice, and Phyllis already filled him on the whole part-time job thing, since he's actually came here from another dimension. "
Penn finished putting the last of the luggage in the car, closing it before fully facing his friends. His mom and dad just happened to come out then, dressed in safari clothes. "Oh, hey, kids," Brock greeted, giving them a slight tip of his hat before turning to Penn, "Finished explaining yet?"
"Just about to. I'll be inside shortly," Penn promised. The Zero parents nodded, his mom stopping long enough to give him a kiss on the cheek before they got inside the car. Then the redhead turned back to his friends. "We're leaving now because, in our experience, most of the exciting things happen after school."
"You sure you'll be okay?" Sashi asked anxiously. Her boyfriend nodded, a small but sincere smile on his face. "That's kind of why were taking this trip. We thrive more when we're facing the unknown, and I guess this is the closet to unknown we'll get here. Besides, now that the issues are out in the open, I think we can really move forward and get back to being a family again."
The best friends nodded, encouraging smiles on their faces. Penn shared a quick fist bump with Boone and then gave a sweet kiss on the lips to Sashi. "See you guys in about a month," he shouted in farewell before jumping in the car with his parents. Boone and Sashi waved from behind the car while Penn waved from the back window of the car as it drove away.
While the two of them would miss the former part-time hero while he was gone, they could appreciate what this trip's purpose was. And, as long as their Penn Zero was okay, then they knew everything else would be too.
…
Well, here's my little, more realistic take on Penn's parents return. It's like Steven Universe, I'm sure that Penn would feel other things once he found out the truth and it just seemed as though all the creators focused on was how much he missed them and the trio doing banter with Rippen. I think he would have real feelings about the situation he's in, and I think that Sashi would recognize it and help him recognize it himself. So, this was the product.
Hope all liked it, I felt this was the only thing missing before the show was canceled and ended. Please favorite, follow and review, and check out my other stories, which I will get back to soon. May write another Penn Zero fic while I'm at it.