Author's note : This is my first ever posting of fanfiction, so please, be gentle. Also, this has not been beta'd, it was written after midnight, and english is not my native language, so forgive any errors. I would love your feedback. Constructive criticism would be most welcome. Ah, and before I forget : No, these characters do not belong to me, but I am grateful to J.K Rowling for creating them. Let me know what you think!
Minerva Mcgonagall walked through the empty, silent corridors of Hogwarts in the direction of her classroom, as she had done a thousand times before. Familiar portraits hung on the walls, and the first rays of the rising sun shone through the arched windows, but their glow was deadly and cold. Even the sound of her steps now sounded foreign to her. For in the space of a few hours, everything had changed. After the shock had passed, after the first decisions had been made, she had been going through the motions without thinking. She was now Headmistress of Hogwarts, and she had a funeral to arrange.
The students had finally fallen asleep, and an eerie silence had decended upon the school grounds. A school that had just lost its Head. Albus Percival Wulfrick Brian Dumbledore. Gone. At the hands of a man he trusted. Maybe, as she often had reproached him, he strived to see the good in people, overlooking their flaws. But had she not come to accept the man as a coleague and friend? He had been one of her students. She could remember him now as he had been, small and fragile, running after Lily Evans's pigtails. No. She could not bare to think of him.
Her footsteps, alien as they were, had led her to the door of her classroom. His classroom. Albus Dumbledore. Her teacher. Her mentor. Her closest friend and confidant. It seemed strange, given how different their characters were. Her colleague. Her leader. A man she had known for nearly sixty years of her life. Gone. As she walked down among the empty desks, she felt the pain wringing her heart. She would not cry. It had been years since she had. But she felt empty inside. Betrayed. By the world, for taking away the one man she could trust to always be there.
There was a single framed picture upon her desk, taken many years ago. Her and Albus, on the day the Ministry had formally registered her as an animagus, standing on the Hogwarts staircase. Him, with his shining auburn hair and beard and his twinkling blue eyes, and a smile that reached his ears. Fawkes was perched on his shoulder. And her, composed, with her hair down for the occasion and a blush of pure joy spreading on her cheeks. Her smile was more contained, but it betrayed her happiness at her accomplishment.
Her hands were shaking. The picture fell to the floor. She bend to pick it up, but she had no more strength. She fell to her knees, on the cold floor stones, as the memories flooded her.
Albus, the first time she ever laid eyes on him, entering this classroom, his blue robes billowing, with his booming, but surprisingly friendly voice, welcoming them to the mysteries of Transfiguration. Minerva, eleven years old, staring up at him in awe and amazement. She saw herself as a student, sitting on a desk with her full attention on his every word as he delivered a complex lecture. Him winking at her, with those mischievous eyes, after she had completed a difficult exercise, and her blushing in response.
The moment he had welcomed her as the professor of Transfiguration in this very classroom. His pride in her.
And then came the darkness. It was in this classroom too, that she had sobbed soundlesly in his arms, her mourning dress drenched by the pouring rain, for losing a love she had not fully valued until it was lost. Minerva tried to push back the memories, to regain her footing. But the images kept coming. The two of them in his office, not three days ago, in what had been, unbeknownst to her, their final goodbye.
- I am a man of many faults, my dear Minerva. But if it is any accomplishment I take pride in without any reserve, it is having taught you. For you have managed to reach for excellence and the fulfillment of your ambitions abiding by your own rules, which, I dare say, are far more strict than anyone could impose. I could never dream to match your courage. »
-My head of house once told me, that true courage lies not in trying to erase one's faults, but in admiting and accepting them.
-Did he now? He looked at her with a slight smile, his eyes vulnerable.
-Yes, he did. And I dare say, that he is a very brave man. She smiled back at him.
His eyes seemed to twinkle again, if only slightly.
-You flatter me, my dear.
She gently clasped his destroyed hand with her delicate fingers.
-I cannot press you to share with me this secret that you bear, even though I fear both for you and Harry's safety, and what I suspect makes my fears worsen. But I do trust you. And I trust that whatever happens, you will not leave without saying goodbye, Albus Percival Wulfrick Brian Dumbledore.
And with that, she left the Headmaster's office. She did not get to see the pain flash through his eyes, or hear him whisper, with his head low, after her retreating form : «Goodbye, my Minerva».
She tried to push herself off the classroom floor, silent tears burning her cheeks, her breath caught in her throat, but faultered. And then she saw his eyes, that bright, iridescent blue, stare up from above her, a hand extended to help her to her feet, as it had been after every single one of her failed attempts at transforming herself to an animagus form. She heard his voice, encouraging and gentle, but firm:
«Focus, Minerva»
And again.
«Hogwarts needs you !»
Yes. The time for mourning, and answers, and pain would have to wait. Because right now, Hogwarts needed her.
Thanks for reading! Special thanks to everyone who has reviewed or added this story to their favorites. I really enjoy hearing what you have to say. Nel