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Yeah, I should be working on my other stories, but well...I get sidetracked easily...enough said. I never say the last season of That 70s Show, but I get the jest of it. Let's just say I am writing the wrongs of the last season. I also won't be adding a year this story takes place because I'm not sure where it should go.

Disclaimer: I don't own That 70s Show, 'cause if I did, Hyde and Jackie would NEVER HAVE BEEN APART. What can I say, I like the odd couples.

Red was pissed. He was usually pissed, but still, he felt it important to note that he was practically pissed at this certain point in his life. Red thought that he had finally won, that all the dumbasses were gone, out of his life, and that he could finally get the house to himself.

That would be where Red was wrong. Very, very wrong. That would also be where Red would be pissed. Very, very pissed.

Because, you see, there was something Red missed. Something he forgot completely about. Something he should have seen coming. The simply, honest, truth about his dumbasses: they liked to cause misery in his life. Yes, they all went and had kids. But the kids weren't just any kids, OH NO; they were the gang's kids, also known as the NEW dumbasses. This in it's self was all that bad. After all, none of the children lived at his house; they were at their parents' places, with their OWN basements. That should have meant that Red would have only have had too seen them during the holidays. Well, that's what Red thought anyway.

Again, that would be where Red would be wrong. And pissed. Very, very pissed. And very, very wrong.

Because it seemed that all dumbasses had homing devices on his basement. They were like commies back during the war: everywhere you looked. But now there were so, so, SO many more dumbasses than before.

First there was Betsy, although Red didn't put her in the dumbass category. Like her father, Michael Kelso, Betsy was a real looker. Unlike her father, she had brains. She had long and wavy brown hair and crystal blue eyes, and a slim figure. Luckily she didn't care about looks at all or else she would have been conceited. Like her father. Betsy only cared about four things: books, history, her family, and her friends. Unlike her father, who thought nothing of books, or history. She was also a freshman in college. A freshman at Yale. Yep, Red didn't fit her in the dumbass category.

Unlike her younger brother, Kyle. Kyle, like Betsy and Kelso, was a looker. He was tall with board shoulders, brown hair, and brown eyes. But, unlike Betsy, he was conceited. Like his father. At seventeen and a junior in high school, Kyle was everything Kelso had been. Just like Kelso, Kyle didn't care about school or anything concerning smarts. He only cared about girls. Just like Kelso. Well, before Kelso finally married Brooke anyway. Although it was probable that Kelso fell off the wagon-so to say-occasionally. Not that there was any denying that Kelso loved Brooke to pieces, but Kelso was Kelso.

Kyle's best friend was Ledd, Hyde and Jackie's seventeen year-old son. And yes, he was named after the band, as was his twin brother Zepp. Let's just say Jackie was heavily medicated during the delivery and had no say whatsoever in the names. Both Ledd and Zepp inherited Jackie's dark hair and green eyes, only Ledd shared his father's curly hair trait and Zepp's was as straight as a board. While both shared their father's 'zeness', Zepp tended to be the quieter of the two, barley ever speaking and Ledd had some of his mother and father's tempers. However, neither one real cared about material things the way their mother did. Ledd did love trolls and gremlins though...

The king of all dumbasses had to be Red's sixteen year-old grandson (although with the way the seventies had been and the way this decade was turning out to be, every dumbass on the planet was Red's grandchild) Arnold. Arnold a.k.a Arnie the Nol. He was tall like his mother Donna, with Eric's pansy build and brown hair. Not to mention the personality, smart-ass mouth, and, oh yeah, the love of toys. Fortunately he did have Eric's brains when it came to school, that's all Red could ask for when it came to who Arnie's parents were.

Next came Duncan, Kyle's sixteen year-old brother. Duncan was every inch of what Kyle was, if only bigger. He built in a more muscular way, which could account for the reason of him being the star, and captain of, the football team. He also had enough brains to get by with Cs in schools and the occasional A whenever Betsy was in town. Or whenever he could trick someone else into doing the work for him. Like Finita.

Finita was the sixteen year-old daughter of Fez. She was lighter in color than her father, thanks to her mother's white skin (Red couldn't remember her mother's name since she left ten years ago, was it Cori or...what was that one girls name?) and had green blue eyes. Her hair was long and dark, and her voice like a singing bird's. Unlike her father, she didn't have any problem with speaking English, although she couldn't speak any other language she tried to learn. She was also smarter, a gifted student if there ever was one. But she did have her father's fondness for candy. And when she had candy...all hell broke loose.

Which was the perfect way to describe Red's other biological grandson, the fifteen year-old Ron: hell. Maybe it was the red hair that made him the way he was. Maybe it all the drugs his parents had taken years before that somehow awakened in him. Maybe it was too much time with Leo. Red really didn't know, but he did know that Ron was the devil's child. Wherever that kid went, destruction went. Kitty said that Red just hadn't forgiven Ron for burning the couch, or their bed, or melting the microwave, or the television, or breaking the good china, or the remote, or the phone, or for driving the car over a cliff when Ron was three, or...well a number of other things, but mostly because of the car. Red just said that Ron was out to get him. And that Ron was a dumbass.

Hell was another way to describe Kelso's youngest son, Dillian. Mostly known as Kelso's clone. If anyone wanted to know what Dillian-Dilly-is like, all they would have to do was rewind time and watch Kelso at his most Kelsoness. Because, since the world hated Red in every possible way, Dilly was really just a Kelso Jr.. Yes, the world was doomed.

One of Red's favorites of the new dumbasses-although again this one he really didn't put into the dumbass category-was Jackie and Hyde's daughter Buffy. Buffy was sometimes called Muffy because that's what Jackie had wanted to name her, but again, she had been heavily medicated and Hyde had taken full reigns in naming their daughter. His fighting argument in Jackie not killing him when she learned what he had done was to tell her that he had at least kept the last four letters the same. Jackie said Buffy was a too tough sounding name and Hyde said Muffy was too girly of a name. Even with Jackie as a mother, Red had to agree. Buffy was a sweet kid, if not a bit quiet and shy, but he knew that she could kick some ass when it came down to it, not that anyone else had seen her beat down bullying older boys back when she was eight. Which is why he didn't worry about her starting high school like he knew Kitty and some of the other adults did. They were just worried that she was too sweet of a girl to be able to stand up to people when they attacked her. And they did have good reason to worry, Buffy was a real looker. She had her father's brown hair, cut in a short hairstyle with the straightness of her mother's hair, and her mother's green eyes. At fourteen she was still short, like her mother had always been, but was quickly growing a woman's body. She was slim with all the right curves that men loved and her chest-according to every high school boy-rivaled that of a playboy bunny's in the making. Not that anyone in the family was happy about that, unless you counted the teenage Kelso and Foreman boys, not that they would admit it though, thanks to the fear of Ledd and Zepp who, although they ignored her out of existence and she thought they didn't care about her, were extremely overprotective of their baby sister. Again, they had good reason.

Next came Laurie's daughter Nellie, her only child as of late as long as Fez kept his hands of his brand new wife...on second thought, Laurie's current only biological child. Nellie was thirteen and starting high school with Buffy. Only Nellie happened to be a lot like Laurie, wild, crazy, and beautiful. Some of Red's prayers had been answered and Nellie wasn't such...a free lover like her mother and she did have school smarts, even if she tried to keep her gifted title a secret from the boys at school. Ah, the boys...Yeah, Red had a shotgun stashed in the closet just in case some boy wanted to corrupt his beautiful, short, blonde haired granddaughter.

Fez's son was twelve and...well Red really wasn't sure how to describe Alfie. Like his father before him, Alfie was a pervert. A miniature pervert. He was a candy fiend like his sister and his father and loved his jellybeans. Really loved the jellybeans. Touch his jellybeans and you were just begging for trouble. His coloring was darker than his fathers with dark eyes and raven black hair. The boy had trouble speaking English-even though he was born in America and had an American mother-but could speak any language thrown at him. A fact that nearly killed his sister who wanted nothing more than to speak every language there was. Alfie was also an idiot. He was failing at school and nothing was changing that sad little fact. Well, Red was trying, a good kick in the ass should straighten the kid out...

There was one grandchild that Red was scared to death of, well, at least when she was in one of her 'moods'. Eric's first daughter was eleven, redheaded, shrimp sized, with one blue eye and green eye, had a fiery temper that put her mother Donna to shame, and a pure evil genius. Like her brother Ron, she was gifted at causing chaos, especially when someone made fun of her name: Tansy. Yes, Tansy. It was widely believed that Donna had been out of it (*cough*meds*cough) during the delivery and Eric had fainted, causing Hyde, Kelso, Fez (and possibly Jackie who was still angry at Donna for making fun of Jackie for wanting to name Buffy Muffy) to come up with the name Tansy. Just so there could be another Pansy Foreman, not that there was anything weak about Tansy. Oh no. Call Tansy Pansy, or call Tansy a girlie girl, and you were dead. So, so very dead. 'Cause like her mother before her, Tansy could punch. Red blamed the red hair, but that gave him a swift-and hard-kick from his granddaughter.

The famous temper didn't make it's way to Lilly, Eric and Donna's final child. Lilly was ten, tall for her age, with brown eyes and brown hair, and her fathers skinniness curse. Lilly tended to be overshadowed by the other children to the point that Red knew nothing of his youngest biological granddaughter (again it seemed every dumbasses's child was his grandchild).

Next came Crusoe Smith Hyde, the ten year-old player. Again, Jackie had no say in the naming (damn meds!). Crusoe inherited his father's curly hair and his mother's black hair, his fathers blue eyes, and zen. But, unlike his father, he loved sports. Namely, basketball. At his age he was tall enough that you could see him over the heads of everyone else in a large crowd, which helped his game. While this annoyed Hyde a little (although he secretly loved the fact that his son was the star basketball player) he took joy in the fact that his son loved cars and hard rock music. "At least I thought him something" Hyde would say.

When Jackie was delivered her last child, she forgo taking any meds. She wanted to finally name her child and give no choice to Hyde whatsoever in the name. So she endured the pain just so she could name her baby boy (Hyde had planned to let her do this anyway, after all he wasn't completely evil, but he felt it best to let her think she beat him at something). After three hours of horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE pain, Jackie was able to name her child, Devon Ren Gage Hyde, called Ren. And at age three, Ren lived up to his mouthful of a name. He was a perfect actor, putting adult against adult, teenager against teenager, getting everyone yelling at each other while he snuck away to eat the sugar cookie his mother said he couldn't have. Oh yes, he was trouble. And with his black hair and gleaming green eyes, Red knew he was going to grow up to be a big heart breaker. A big, big one.

The list of new dumbasses should have stopped there. SHOULD HAVE. But no, it seemed menopause had finally caught up to Kitty in a very bad way. She had begged, cursed, drunk, and cried until finally Red had given into her pleas. They adopted an orphan. A commie orphan. Or at least Red thought the kid was a commie, hell, he wasn't even sure where the kid came from, or how to say his whole name. It was the whole Fez thing all over again. Red's new son was Pizz (yes, he understood the whole similarity between Fez and Pizz, he wasn't stupid). Pizz was fifteen with slanted blue eyes, tinted skin, and black hair. He wasn't from any Asia country or Hispanic/Latino country. Well, Red didn't know where Pizz was from, but he did know one thing: Pizz was a dumbass. Then again, Red though almost everyone was a dumbass.

So that was it, that was the list of all the new dumbasses. They far outnumbered the old ones and, in Red's opinion, were far worse than their parents had ever been. At least with the old ones Red had a chance at some peace and quiet, but somehow all the adult dumbasses had invaded the neighborhood. Eric and Donna had taken Bob's house when he moved to Miami, Hyde and Jackie took the house on the other side of Red's place, Fez and Laurie had moved across the street from Red's, and Kelso had moved a few houses down from Eric's place. All houses had basements and a few of them even had large attics. One would reason that the kids all had hangouts AWAY from Red's house. That they wouldn't bother him. One would be wrong. For it seemed that-when he wasn't paying attention-all the dumbasses had invaded his basement...again. Everyday there they were, in his basement. At least it was only the high school ones, after all, there was the rule that only teenagers could hang in the basement (a rule Ledd and Zepp had made once they turned thirteen). But that was enough for Red to be pissed. Really, really pissed. But then, Red was always pissed.

AND NOW....

Hangin' out...down the street.
The same old thing...we did last week.
Not a thing to do
but talk to you.
Not a thing to do out in the street....oh yeah.

Mom and dad… live upstairs.
The music's loud…so we don't care.
Nixon's gone
but rock lives on.... Oooh yeah.....

We're still rockin' in Wisconsin.
We're alright! We're alright!
Yeah!

I steal a car…and drive on down...
Pick you up… and we'll drive around.

Not a thing to do
but talk to you..
not a thing to do.....oooh yeah.

We're still rockin' in Wisconsin....
We're all alright! We're all alright!
HELLO WISCONSIN!

'Kay, got the lyrics from the web, I think that's close to the theme song. Please review, and please, NO FLAMES!!! I don't mind criticism, just please don't attack me.