SUMMARY: Hakkai invites Sanzo for a private conversation. Sanzo's thoughts throughout the discussion. AU. Hakkai x Sanzo. 83 Revised and rewritten. CHAPTER 2 UP.

RATING: PG (strong language)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Saiyuki manga, anime or any of its characters. Minekura Kazuya is the owner of all great things that is Saiyuki.

--Sanzo's remarks in BOLD

--Sanzo's thoughts in ::xxx

JadeYoukai38(Hakkai)

Shinuka83 (Sanzo)

A YOUKAI AND A JADED MONK

By: Nekozuki1776

PART 1

-JadeYoukai38

-Shinuka83

Hello again Shinuka83-san. I'm glad you've decided to take up on my offer for another chat.

Ch. I had nothing better to do tonight. ::Not true::

Nonetheless, I'm pleased that you've returned.

Whatever. So what do you want to talk about?

Seeing that I talked about some of the people in my life last week, I thought that we could chat a bit about the people in your life.

Do you really want to know?

Yes I do. You promised.

Isn't there something else we could talk about?

I can always teach you the proper way to wash cashmere . . .

Damn it, you already did that last week.

First you must hand wash it in lukewarm water and-

IF YOU MUST KNOW. People in general bother me. Most are corrupt bastards who have no sense of decency.

Maa, maa, you seem to have a strong opinion on this matter.

Just telling you how I feel about the human race as a whole. The bad ones, I mean. If I had my way, I would kill the bastards that prey on the weak and the innocent. Purify the world of them all I say.

Ah, thus the basis for your username.

I don't put up with predators, corrupted souls, and stupid people.

I suppose I can agree with the first two. But why am I not surprised by your unreasonable antagonism towards the third grouping?

Do you want to die?

Forgive me for being blunt, I was simply observing.

::I know. You know me too well.::Ch I'm listening.

To be perfectly honest, you don't seem like a warm and fuzzy person that tolerates any deviation from the norm. Frankly, I was surprised that you decided to accept my invitation to chat with me again. Please don't misunderstand me, I was quite happy that you did. :-)

Sanzo had wondered the same thing himself. He truly was bored the previous week when he was searching randomly on the web. Sanzo had always enjoyed reading about ancient Chinese history and had a particular affinity for Chinese legends. By chance, he discovered a chatroom on that exact topic. Maybe he inherited this from his aunt who was a former history professor now a reagent at TenkaUniversity. He might have even followed in her footsteps to study and maybe teach if not for the certain events in his life. So instead of acquiring the formal education, he decided to read as much material as he could in books, periodicals, and websites. He found a site that looked interesting and joined right away.

During one of the discussions, he was prompted by a certain JadeYoukai38 to join him in a private chatroom. Sanzo's defensive instincts normally would have strayed from situations like this but there was a tangible quality about this participant that demanded he accept this invitation. Many topics of conversations and an hour later, he decided to take up on his second offer to chat again. Although Sanzo initially gave a non-committal response, JadeYoukai38 accepted this without a sign of pressure or irritation. Despite the evident disadvantages of not being able to see or hear him, there existed a persistent yet a gentle aura that reminded him of his former mentor that couldn't be ignored. Sanzo also liked this virtual atmosphere that gave him a freer reign to be himself. Above all, he sensed a kinship with this intriguing conversation partner that he had never felt before. He knew he couldn't stay away.

Like I said, I didn't have anything else to do. Anyway getting back to what you were asking, there are two people that I tolerate in this world. One is my aunt. She's an old hag that's always getting on my case but she's ok.

And who is the other?

He's a kid that I took guardianship over a few years ago. My aunt came across him. He had no parents, no memory of his past, nothing. Somehow she took a liking to him but because of her busy schedule she unloaded the brat to me.

You don't seem very fond of him.

He has his moments. When he's not eating or talking—which takes up 98 of his time anyway. He reminds me of a monkey. He's always going on about how I'm his sun.

Sun?

I don't really understand what he means by that. Maybe because I'm a blond. ::Damn it. How did that slip out? We agreed not to reveal any physical traits of ourselves except that we're both males in the mid-twenties. Damn. Damn. Damn. ::

Green eyes.

What?

I know we agreed not to trade any physical characteristics, but since you inadvertently revealed that you were a blond, it was only fair that I share with you a physical trait of myself.

:: How does he do it?:: He always seemed to know what he was thinking and how to disarm him of his hostility and insecurity.

Green eyes. Jade. That's where you got your name.

Yes.

:: Green eyes. That's. . . amazing::

Why youkai?

0…0

You don't have to answer that.

Sorry. Just thinking how to answer that one. Those around me think I'm a certain type of a person when I'm not. They think I'm this nice guy who can do no wrong. But little do they know that I have a past.

A past.

Let's just say years ago, something happened that made me lose complete control of myself and I did horrible things. It's as though a demon was released from inside of me, a youkai . . .

We all have that.

Pardon?

We all have a little of youkai in ourselves. We wouldn't be human if we weren't.

Oh.

You seem surprised.

Well yes a bit. Awhile ago it seemed like you wanted purify the world of all evil.

Yeah but the evil I'm referring to are the corrupt bastards who prey on the weak and the innocent. I have a feeling that your wrongdoing was not a result of that.

I suppose that might be one way of looking at it. But I don't think I could ever atone for my horrible acts.

Would you elaborate?

I committed crimes against some people for murdering someone who was very dear to me. The person that was murdered was my fiancé.

Act of revenge?

Yes.

So you killed a few who were responsible for butchering an innocent person. I don't see anything wrong with that.

I never said that I killed . . .

You didn't have to. :: Hell, the guilt and anguish written between the lines are a dead giveaway. . . ::

0…0

You still there?

I guess I'm a bit overwhelmed by your reaction. Not many would be so understanding towards a cold blooded killer like me.

You stop that shit right now. I hate it when people drown themselves in their own self-pity. You acted out in justice against the bastards that murdered someone you loved, right? You wish that you could have died in order to protect her from harm but she was killed so you did the best you could to obtain vengeance for the person that meant the world to you.

0…0

And anyhow, I think subconsciously you chose youkai as a part of your username for a reason other than what you said.

What do you mean?

You of all people should know that according to the Chinese legends, most youkais weren't perceived as evil beings. Humans and youkais once lived peacefully together. So it's not surprising that youkais obtained human traits and humans obtained youkai traits during their reign of co-existence. For example, it's been said that youkais are vengeful creatures by nature but I think they simply relied more on their baser instincts to survive by viciously protecting their own. Obviously some people absorbed this trait more so than others.

You really know all the right things to say to ease my soul, Shinuka83-san.

Don't.

Pardon?

I noticed that you regress to extreme formalities when you feel like you have to subjugate yourself to ease your soul.

I was only trying to let you know how much I appreciate your kindness.

Don't you get tired of being polite all the time? We're both on equal grounds here, so I don't want any of that "–san" crap.

Alright. Since you insist, I will stop addressing you as such but I'm afraid I can't depart from my way of speaking/writing. It's part of my nature. That's the way I am.

::You're right. I can't imagine you acting any other way. It suits you.:: Fine. You're a fairly predictable person though, you know? In fact, I bet that you have a polite smile plastered on your face right now and a cup of herbal tea by your side.

: ) Uncanny, but true. And I think that you have a scowl on your face with a cigarette precariously hanging out of your mouth.

Sanzo curses in pain as a stray ash falls carelessly on his forearm due to his sudden movement from Jade's astute comment. He then searches the computer screen up and down for any hidden video devices.

ANYWAY. Just so you don't fall into the formality crap again, call me Shin from now on.

Shin. I like that. I think it suits you better than Shinuka.

No sense having to type more than you have to.

Thank you Shin. And likewise, please call me Jade.

A bit feminine, isn't? ::But I like it ::

Ahaha. Yes, I suppose it is. Actually, "Jade" was what my fiancé used to call me. It was years ago but I remember secretly liking it.

So what's 38 for?

3 and 8 are two of my favorite numbers, in that order. So I combined them. And yours?

I don't know. It just came to me and the numbers seemed to feel right somehow.

Was the process formulaic in nature? Or was it randomly chosen? You must have some sentimental or logical reason for picking the number that you did.

You have to analyze everything professor?

83 was actually the first two numbers of his Gold Sanbutsu Corp credit card that he received from his Aunt Kanzeon when Goku was placed under his care. He had used it shamelessly without abandon to feed that saru of his. Oddly enough, as many times as he had taken advantage of the card, Sanzo had committed only the first two digits to memory. He was too embarrassed however, to reveal this piece of information. It instinctively felt more personal than letting him know that he was a blond.

I suppose my tendency for over analyzing is a product of a strict education by the good nuns at the orphanage I grew up in.

What happened to your parents?

They died when I was very young. I barely remember them.

I grew up not knowing my parents too. But you seem well adjusted considering.

I was raised by good people who showed me the way and helped me grow up in the best manner they could. There was one nun in particular that I was quite fond of. I still keep in touch with her. Did you have someone like that in your childhood?

Yes. My mentor, someone I considered as my father figure. He taught me and watched over me during most of my younger years.

Wonderful. Do you still keep in touch with him?

No. He was murdered years ago by thieves during a botched burglary.

Oh Shin. I'm sorry for dredging up such a horrible memory.

You were willing to discuss the tragic loss in your life and I wanted to tell you about mine.

Were the perpetrators caught and brought to justice?

Yes.

0…0

Shin?

What?

Have you come to terms with your mentor's death?

I blamed myself for years for being too weak to protect him. But I'm dealing with it better now.

I'm sure at the time those around you offered reassurance that there was nothing you could have done.

I didn't grow up in such a supportive environment. My aunt was teaching at a foreign university at the time so I really had no one except a few bastards that blamed me for it. That was when I changed. I realized that only I could take care and protect myself. I was determined to become stronger. And that I didn't want anyone in my life that I couldn't protect.

And now?

Good question. I asked myself that a few years ago.

When you were placed with the responsibility of the child?

When the kid came into my life, I realized that no one is ever strong as he wants to be. But I realized that I wanted to strive to be strong for him and to protect him.

So he's affected you in a positive way.

I don't know about that. It doesn't change that fact that the saru is still annoying as hell.

It's good to have someone to live and care for though, isn't?

I suppose. He's more trouble than he's worth, but there's something about him that I can't leave alone so I guess that means I do give a damn.

You two seem good for each other. I guess this disproves one of your mantras, don't you think?

The old hag said the same thing too. But I still stand by my code.

Live for yourself and only yourself. Don't get captured or bound by anything. Only you can protect yourself. And only have people around you that can protect themselves.

Good memory, professor. That's why I give him self defense and combat lessons as well as provide him a good education so he'll be well equipped to handle trouble when the time comes for him to strike out on his own.

You know, you seem to have clear and set perspectives in life. It's almost as if I'm consulting a monk.

Look, this isn't the holy man's enlightenment hour. I don't advise let alone dictate how one should live his life. Like I said, I have a past too. Many people see me as a heartless bastard. And I am most of the time. Besides, if being a monk means no smoking, drinking and playing a few betting rounds of mah jong, count me out.

I concur. What's life without the little pleasures of drinking and playing mah jong, ne? And anyhow Shin, you DO have a heart.

What?

You're not a heartless bastard. You're anything but. You're one of the few people that truly understand me for who I am. A heartless bastard wouldn't have been able to speak so compassionately about my past actions like you did. . . Hmmm, come to think of it, I'm starting to understand why the young ward labels you as "his sun".

What the hell does that supposed to mean?

Well. . . . oops, unfortunately we're out of time. My roommate will be back soon. I promised I would help him pick out a proper attire for his date with a new lady tonight.

Another one? What happened to the one he was seeing last week?

Let's just say he tired of her rather quickly.

Hn. What an ero-kappa. Anyway, the kid's coming back from a birthday party soon. I'll have to get some antacids ready since he probably gluttoned the whole cake.

Well then, our topic next week class, will be climatology or more specifically, the important role the sun plays in our lives.

Do you want to get purified, sensei?

I just might. Would you like to get jaded o' holy monk?

:: Did he say just say what I think he said? Come on, this is the perfect opportunity to say his name::

You're mocking me Jade. ::There. I did it.::

As you are mocking me Shin. . . Although, if that topic is not your cup of tea, we can always discuss the art of cashmere maintenance.

Ch. I prefer beer.

Ahaha. I really had a great time tonight. Same time again next week?

Yeah. Same time next week. ::Oh man. I DO need a beer.::

-TBC-

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

SHINUKA when stated in the interrogative means, "Do you want to die?" I liked it for its similarity to the phrase Sanzo often uses (omae wo korosu-I'm going to kill you) but it also allowed me to be creative and use the phonetic fragment, SHIN as his abbreviated nickname which by in itself, holds a variety of meanings. SHIN depending on the kanji character used, means PURITY, PROFOUND, PARENT, GOD and so on - Quite appropriate, ne?

For those of you that thought Sanzo was a tad OOC in this story: I wanted a setting that would give Sanzo an opportunity to open up more easily and thought that a faceless /voiceless medium like an on-line chatroom would be a perfect stage. This allowed me to create a scenario where he could accept (albeit reluctantly) Hakkai's invitation for a private chat without the pretense of Sanzo's impenetrable gruff exterior or Hakkai's poker face, smiling façade.