"Ghosts?" Zeppel blinked. He hadn't been expecting to hear that as a senior project idea - especially not from this particular girl.
Although she was the school's youngest senior, Anna Lemouri was not otherwise particularly remarkable. She'd been a poor student in her early years here, and had since improved to mediocre - still earning her only A's in her combat classes, as was to be expected, with her being the successor of a famous sword school. Her independent research last year had been a rather pedestrian essay on forging high-quality swords in the Athanor. Although Zeppel didn't know her very well, she had seemed to have neither a passion nor a talent for alchemy.
He blinked, snapping out of his reverie to see the girl still patiently staring back at him from her chair. "Er... like Pamela-san, you mean?" he asked.
Anna gave a nod. "I've already asked her permission to do research on her," she informed him. "Within reason, of course."
Zeppel scratched his head. "Well, there's nothing wrong with the idea itself, but... what exactly do ghosts have to do with alchemy?" he wondered. "I suppose one could consider Pamela part of the history of this place, or ghosts a phenomenon unique to Al-Revis... but for senior projects, we prefer something with practical applications."
Anna frowned; evidently this was something she hadn't thought about. "Well, maybe one could make a potion to turn someone into a ghost," she suggested after a few moments' consideration.
Zeppel blinked. "Why would anyone want to become a ghost?"
He was surprised to see the girl blush, and cast her eyes downward. Hurriedly, he changed the subject. "Did you have any other ideas, Anna? Ghosts aren't out of the question, but if there's something more usual that interests you..."
"How about immortality research?" Anna asked.
Zeppel frowned. "That one won't work. It's kind of taboo around here, and it's also considered impossible. Quite a few alchemists in the past spent their entire lives in pursuit of it, and achieved very little. Even if I were to let you research it, I don't think you'd be able to make any advances in the span of a few months."
...Actually, there was a rumor that a certain alchemist had found the secret in his later years. But Zeppel saw no need to bring that up, especially since that was the very reason it was a taboo subject.
Anna didn't seem too upset by his reply, anyway. "I kind of figured something like that would be the case," she replied with a resigned smile. "I'd really like to do my research on ghosts, then, but if you can't recommend it..."
"I'll approve it for now," Zeppel said. "Just make sure your research has some relation to alchemy. Becoming a ghost, though..." He frowned; the urge to patronize the girl was becoming irresistible, though he suspected it wouldn't be conducive to a long and full life. "You aren't worried about your looks, are you, Anna?" he ventured. "Immortality is out of the question, but rejuvenation-"
"It's nothing like that," Anna interrupted, fixing him with a meaningful glare.
"I-I see. Sorry," Zeppel replied quickly. "Well, then..." He glanced down at his notes on her. "Ah... I'm also supposed to ask you about your career plans once you graduate. You're the successor to a sword school, aren't you, Anna?"
The girl simply nodded, remaining silent.
"Well, it's good that you have other possibilities. To be honest, when you first came here, you didn't seem like you had what it takes to be an alchemist; but your grades have been improving steadily ever since your freshman year." Zeppel smiled, even though he didn't like telling white lies; he had to at least make a pretense of convincing this girl to take up alchemy, or what would her four years here amount to? A vacation? "If you keep studying hard in the time you have left with us, I'm sure you'd make a fine alchemist, too."
Anna smiled, not seeming to mind the lip service, though she surely knew he was overstating her ability as well. "Well, I suppose you could say I'm finally finding my path of alchemy," she replied.
"Path of alchemy?" Zeppel blinked.
"At our sword school, when someone searches themselves and finds the true reason they want to become stronger, and dedicates themselves to that reason... we call that finding their path of the sword," Anna said. "So can't one find their path of alchemy in the same manner?"
"I suppose so," Zeppel said, frowning. "Anyway, I won't keep you any longer... But if you have an interest in a career in alchemy, just talk to me or any of the other advisors."
Anna cast her eyes down for a moment, seeming to hesitate. "About that... I was already planning to," she replied, and leaned forward slightly.
"This is kind of an awkward question, but... how hard is it to become a member of the faculty here?"
-
"Good news," Anna announced to Pamela and Muppy. "Zeppel approved our senior project, and he said he'd put in a word with Lorr about taking me on as an assistant after I graduate." She smiled brightly. "I think Lorr likes me, so that's probably my best chance."
"As much as he likes anyone, anyway," Pamela commented, floating over to her.
"You know Lorr?" Anna asked.
"Back when he was a student, he didn't even blink when I came out of the wall, just took a swipe at me," Pamela complained. "It smarted for days. He was the last beastman I tried to scare."
Anna giggled inwardly at that, though it showed only as a faint smile. Even that, though, was enough for the ghost to seize on. "You smiled, Anna," Pamela announced delightedly.
The girl's expression changed immediately. "You've been pointing that out all year, Pamela!" she complained. "Is it really that rare for me to smile?" Though Anna had to admit she cultivated a serious appearance, she'd never hesitated to smile that she could remember. Laughing out loud would be something noteworthy, certainly; she didn't care much for that. But she wasn't averse to showing others when she was happy. If her smiles were rare, it was merely because she wasn't quite so easily amused as others.
"No, not at all," Pamela replied, smiling quite brightly herself. "You smile all the time. But if I point it out, you get this adorable look of indignation on your face. Like a pout."
Anna blinked, then crossed her arms with a small hmph of annoyance, only adding to the expression that Pamela so enjoyed. "Well, now that you've told me so, I won't fall for it any longer," she told the ghost.
Pamela giggled. "We'll see," she stated ominously.
"Well, how about we get started?" Muppy interrupted. "I've got a great set of experiments lined up. First, we shall evaluate whether it is possible to asphyxiate a ghost, and if so how long-"
"You never said anything about experiments like that!" Pamela interrupted. "I don't know what 'asphyxiate' means, but it sounds scary! I'm not going to-"
"The advance of science demands that we-"
Anna allowed the two to argue for a few moments, meanwhile musing that Muppy had learned to read the atmosphere quite well, despite being an alien. That, or sadistic thoughts were just always at the forefront of his mind. She was interrupted from her thoughts by the club's freshman, who had wandered away from his syntheses and stood next to her, watching the argument. "Um," he ventured, "should I try to-"
"No. They might kill you," Anna replied. "Let me." She studied the situation briefly, then closed her eyes; in one swift movement she drew her sword, brought it down directly between Muppy and Pamela, and sheathed it again.
Silence filled the room. Anna opened her eyes to see a few strands of Pamela's hair, neatly trimmed by her blade, floating towards the floor.
"I really wish you would not do that," Muppy said.
"Well, it works, doesn't it?" Anna stated, deciding that now was a fine time to put her heart into a smile. "While finding out whether Pamela can suffocate doesn't sound entirely unpleasant, it's getting a bit late to be starting any experiments. Let's call it an afternoon."
"That sounds good to me," Pamela said sullenly, eyeing Anna, whom she was unsure was on her side. "But I might not be here tomorrow. Or the next day. Or..."
"About that," the workshop leader said. "Muppy, the faculty might not look kindly upon you endangering the health of another student. Even one who isn't alive, strictly speaking. If you want us to graduate, I'd suggest revising your experiments."
"I see," replied the alien, with his usual lack of apparent emotion. "How very pedestrian. But I suppose I have no choice."
Pamela clapped her hands delightedly. "I always knew you worried about me, Anna," she declared.
Continuing to chat amongst themselves, the three of them departed the workshop and headed towards the dorms. The freshman looked after them, having not gotten another word in. Come to think of it, he probably hadn't said more than twenty words to any of them since the day after he joined. It was hard to talk to seniors.
That's the last time I join a workshop just because a cute girl who looks my own age invited me, he thought with a sigh and returned to his syntheses.
-
Anna's nightly ritual was to study, but most of her classmates would be surprised at her choice of reading material. Her standard alchemy texts sat gathering dust on a shelf, generally untouched unless her grades were flagging; the rest of her room was piled, albeit neatly, with old books that Pamela had fetched her from the resource center. Some of the books hadn't been moved from the old schoolhouse, and she'd had to go there to fetch them. The volume she was currently focused on was written in a language that hadn't been used in several centuries, and the pages threatened to crumble into dust as she turned each one.
Not that it was anything special. It was an anthology of ghost stories.
The girl's eyes were drooping, and she was getting a headache; ancient languages always gave her a hard time. Anna decided she'd allow herself to sleep a little earlier then usual, although- as always- she'd be up at the crack of dawn to practice her swordsmanship. She ought to finish this page, though...
"Boo," a voice said behind her. Anna jumped and whirled around, holding the nearest sword-like object in a threatening stance - a slide rule.
Pamela giggled. "You're always so studious, Anna. The evenings are your special time to relax, you know," she chided.
"Oh, it's you, Pamela," Anna replied with a sigh. She relaxed, although not in quite the same way Pamela was suggesting, and sank back into her chair after turning it to face the ghost. "It's rare that you visit me in the evening. Is something the matter?"
Pamela frowned. "I had a question, actually," she said after seeming to hesitate for a moment.
"A question?" Anna blinked.
The ghost brought her hands up before her and twiddled her fingers, blushing coyly. "You were never much of a reader before, but you've been asking me for all these books about ghosts, ever since the start of the school year... and now you want to do your research project on me," she said. "Of course, I'm a beautiful and tragic ghost, so it's only natural that you are curious about me. But... is there something more to it then that?"
"You mean you don't remember?" Anna asked.
Pamela blinked. After a moment, her blush deepened. "Oh my," she murmured. "...Did I perhaps forget about a confession of love? How embarrassing."
This time Anna blinked. There was a long moment of silence, then Anna began laughing out loud.
Pamela's initial look of confusion quickly changed to one of indignation. She dropped her teddy bear and put her hands on her hips. "What's so funny?" she demanded.
"N-nothing," Anna replied, wheezing a bit as she slowly calmed herself. "It's just that... only you would ever forget a confession of love, Pamela. And only you would suspect that you might have."
"So you did confess your love to me?" Pamela asked.
"I didn't," Anna said, blushing. "What I meant was..." She cast her eyes down momentarily. "Well, maybe you remember when I tried to kill you," she muttered, not particularly wanting to reminisce on the time herself.
Pamela blinked again, thinking for a moment. She picked up her teddy bear and drew away from Anna, looking slightly suspicious. "Vaguely," she replied. "But why would you have done that, Anna...? And you're not planning to do it again, are you?"
"No, I'm not," Anna attempted to reassure her. She frowned as she searched for the words to explain herself. "...I tried to kill you because I thought you were unhappy. But now I realize that even if you are a little unhappy, you're not so unhappy that you just want everything to end. Are you?"
Pamela shook her head, looking mildly confused.
"I made a promise back then," Anna said. "I said that I'd always be there for you. You were really unhappy when the others graduated last year, too... I wasn't around when you talked to them about it, but Vayne and Flay told me that you were even trying to escape from the school so you could go with them. They asked me to keep an eye on you."
"I remember them, at least. I'm glad," Pamela said. She didn't look glad at all, though; quite the opposite. "Vayne..."
"He's gone now... and I don't know if he'll ever come back," Anna murmured, casting her eyes down. "This place has too many bad memories for him."
There was a long moment of silence.
"You didn't answer my question," Pamela eventually remembered.
"Well, I'm going to graduate soon, too. And so will Muppy," Anna said. "Have you thought about that?"
"I don't want to," Pamela stated, more flatly then was usual of her. "If I do, I might end up asking you to try and kill me again."
Anna smiled brightly. "Hopefully, you won't have to. Before I graduate, I'm going to do everything I can for you," she declared. "I'm going to study and research as best as I can to find a way to let you leave this academy. And if I can't do that in my senior year, I'm going to try to become a faculty member here, so that I never have to leave." Getting rather excited, she stood up from her chair. "I'll study my whole life to free you if that's what it takes!"
Pamela looked taken aback. She was silent for several moments, before her expression changed to one of sadness. "A-Anna..."
Anna blinked in confusion. "Are you... upset? Pamela?"
"What if you don't ever figure out how to free me?" Pamela said. "What if you die, having spent your life at this academy? I'll be lonely again..." She paused, then shook her head. "I can't always think about myself. More importantly, you'll have wasted your entire life for my sake. I... I can't ask that of you..."
Anna tilted her head. She didn't reply for a few moments. "You know, Pamela, that's the first time I think I've seen you genuinely concerned about someone other then yourself," she observed.
"It feels strange," Pamela replied with a wan smile. "But nice, in a way. Maybe I'll try being more considerate of others in the future... if there's anyone left for me to be considerate to."
"Don't get all depressed on me," Anna scolded, crossing her arms. "See, somewhere along the line, I'm going to also figure out how one becomes a ghost in the first place. Hopefully it won't come to that, but I'm willing."
Pamela blinked. "You mean..."
Anna smiled. "When I promised that I would always be there for you," she said, "I meant it."
The ghost's face went through a series of expressions; first astonishment, then a brief moment of happiness, then melancholy once again. "But... why?" she asked. "Why are you doing all this for me...? Why would you sacrifice any other future you might have, for the sake of a single promise?" Pamela averted her eyes from Anna. "Like you said, I'm selfish... and I cause trouble for everybody... I... I don't..."
Anna sighed. "Quiet," she told Pamela. "I'll tell you a story. About that 'any other future'. And about the past."
Pamela blinked, but fell silent and listened.
-
"Once upon a time, a daughter was born to the master of the Lemouri family dojo. 'Oh, what a beautiful baby girl,' was the first thing that the midwife said. 'Too bad it's not a boy. Boys are stronger,' was the first thing her parents said."
Anna could tell that the ghost wanted to giggle out loud at that, but she didn't. She smiled, inwardly. Even ghosts can grow up a little, she mused.
"When the girl was four, she had a wooden sword put into her hand. 'You must train,' she was told. 'You are the only daughter of the Lemouri family. As befits your heritage, you must become a master of the sword like none other.'"
"This doesn't sound like a very nice story," Pamela observed quietly.
"When the girl was ten," Anna continued, "she defeated a swordmaster five times her age. 'So talented at such a young age', he marveled. 'You will make a truly worthy successor to the Lemouri name.'"
Pamela frowned. She seemed to be thinking about something.
"No one ever asked the girl, 'Do you want to be a swordswoman? Do you want to be the master of the Lemouri dojo?' No one ever asked her, 'What do you want to do with your life?' That is, until an alchemist from Al-Revis passed by in her eleventh year..."
"This girl in the story is you, Anna, isn't it?" the ghost asked.
"Anyone else wouldn't have to ask," Anna replied, with a resigned smile. "Anyway, the girl decided she wanted to study alchemy. Her family fought tooth and nail, but gave in when she told them she'd already asked representatives of the school to come take her by force."
Pamela blinked. "This school... kidnaps students?"
"No. That was a lie," Anna said, grinning. "I'd just asked to be enrolled as soon as possible. But everyone knows alchemists from Al-Revis are mighty warriors as well, and that they are always searching for new talent. It wasn't so unbelievable."
"As I thought, it wasn't a very nice story," Pamela said. "But at least it had a happy ending. Kind of."
"Anyway, that's the future I have if I decide not to stay at Al-Revis," Anna said. "An enviable life as a famed swordmaster in an ancient bloodline, who only became such because she lacked the strength to choose a path of her very own. And who was never quite the master that she might have been, because she was born a girl." She sighed. "But I didn't tell you that story just so that you might pity me, or so you realize that I have no better prospects than to dedicate myself to you."
Pamela blinked. After several moments of silence, she tilted and scratched her head. "I'm afraid you'll have to explain it all, Anna," she replied, seeming embarrassed.
Anna smiled, meeting the ghostly girl's eyes. "I made a promise to you, Pamela," she said. "I grew up among those who simply assumed I would do what was expected of me. But at this school, for the first time ever, I became beholden to another of my own free will. Nothing was expected of me... but I wanted to do something for you. Do you think you can understand what that means to me?"
Pamela frowned as she thought about that; she was a long time in replying. "No," she admitted, "but..."
Anna blinked, looking back at the ghost.
Pamela blushed. "I can understand what it means to me," she said.
Anna smiled brightly. "That's good enough, Pamela," she replied.
-
Abruptly, a yawn overcame Anna, spoiling the mood somewhat. "I'm sorry," she said, and rubbed her eyes.
"Ghosts just sleep whenever they're bored," Pamela murmured, "but humans need it to survive, don't they? I'll let you sleep soon, then, Anna. But just one thing, before that."
"What is it, Pamela?"
"You remember how we were talking about confessions of love earlier?"
Anna nodded, blinking. "...What about them?"
"If you really were thinking of confessing your love to me," Pamela announced, "please don't just yet, because I will confess mine to you."
Anna blinked and looked back at the ghost, not seeming to process her words for a few moments. When she did, her eyes widened, and a furious blush suffused her face. "P-P-Pamela--" she stammered, raising her hands before her.
"Oh, not right now," Pamela reassured her. "It wouldn't be proper for a ghost to love a human, or vice versa. At least that's what I told the boys who fell in love with me." She blushed. "But if you become a ghost, Anna, or figure out how to make me human again... I won't hesitate."
Anna struggled to regain her composure. "But, but, Pamela-"
The ghost smiled sweetly. "Even if you're as old and wrinkly as Bernard by that time, I don't mind at all."
"I-it's not that," Anna managed. "Both... both of us are-"
"Oh, that's not a problem," Pamela said dismissively. "I've been snooping around the dorms for years and years now. Girls confessing their love to other girls isn't all that common, but it's nothing new, either."
Anna gave up. She merely stared down at her own lap, her face burning. "I... I suppose I'm flattered," she replied in a whisper.
"I'm glad," Pamela said brightly, with a giggle. "Well then, a confession of love is a lot to deal with, even if it's postponed. But before I leave you... let me hug you." She paused. "People say that I'm ice cold, and unpleasant to touch... But I really want to. Will you let me, Anna?"
Anna nodded mutely, forcing a small smile.
Pamela drifted forward, closing her eyes, and wrapped her arms around the other girl. There wasn't much substance to her, and Anna felt as though a cloak had settled gently over her, even though Pamela was surely embracing with all her strength. Just as she had warned, her touch chilled Anna to the bone; but Anna had learned, back when she'd wanted to become an alchemist, that sometimes the proper thing to do is to tell a lie.
"You aren't cold at all, Pamela," she whispered. The ghost's eyes opened as she leaned forward and placed her lips gently against Pamela's own. It felt like the first breath as one stepped outside on a freezing winter day. She stayed like that as long as she could bear, until she thought her lips must have turned blue.
A few moments after Anna's lips left hers, the ghost reluctantly pulled away. Despite herself, Anna began shivering.
"Get under the covers," Pamela told her firmly. Anna smiled faintly, and stood up and made her way over to her bed without hesitation, crawling in. She didn't even bother to clean up her desk.
Pamela remained in the room a moment longer. "Thank you, Anna... for letting me be selfish once again," she said. "And for everything else."
"You're welcome," Anna replied. "Pamela."