Before the wedding

"Lily"

" Severus", her chin jutted out coldly.

He wringed his hands nervously. "Thanks for seeing me."

"What do you want?" she asked sharply.

Snape flapped forward awkwardly. "Lily…I…" he felt his heart drop as Lily stepped out of the shadows and under the light. Sheathed in a simple white wedding gown, she took his breath away. The simplicity of the dress bought out her striking features. A pearl tiara twinkled from the top of her flaming hair. Any wizard standing in his place right now would have no trouble believing that Lily Evans was part Veela.

Shaking his head, Snape regained his composure and hesitantly met her eyes.

It was then that he knew he'd lost her forever.

Lily's green eyes pierced him to the very core of his being. Gone was the friendly twinkle in her eyes, taking along the love and friendship she once held for him. Instead, he could now read contempt and hatred etched all across her face. Snape's heart turned to stone, and yet, he had to blink furiously to stop the tears from flowing. He would not cry in front of Lily Evans. He had belittled himself too much over the years.

"What do you want, Severus?" she asked again. "You…a Death Eater bursts here on my wedding day, when you know full well that everyone from the Order is here. This must be something important. I agreed to see you. So speak up." She crossed her gloved arms obstinately across her chest. Despite himself, Snape felt his heart melt at the sight of this familiar gesture. He took two hesitant steps towards her and paused. She didn't move. His fingers trembling slightly, Snape touched her cheek with the back of his hand. He closed his eyes. How good it was to be so close to her again. Just like old times.

She slapped his hand away, furious. "How dare you," she hissed. "Don't you ever touch me again you…you murderer! How many people have you killed with this very hand?"

Snape stepped backwards. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I don't know what came over me."

Lily glared at him. "Are you going to tell me why you're here?"

Snape wrung his hands under his coat. He looked at the ground and then at the face that had haunted his dreams for as long as he could remember.

"I love you," Snape blurted. "I've loved you since we were kids. Even before, when I thought you were only a Muggle. I…you were the best thing that every happened to me Lily. You changed me, you changed my world. I know I hurt you and I don't have any excuses for that. I just…I just want a second chance," he whispered.

Lily stared at him, stunned. Snape was breathing heavily, trying to regain his mind. Her green eyes peered at him from under their lashes, doleful. "Why are you here?" she whispered.

"I want you to leave Potter and come with me," his voice rung out cold and clear in the room.

Lily's fury returned. "You want me to leave James?" she laughed bitterly. "Oh, you haven't changed at all, have you Severus? You still believe that you have the right to boss the world around. Well guess what? That's what your friend You-Know-Who does too. So maybe you should go back to him!"

"I'll leave him!" Snape cried desperately. "I'll stop everything. Lily, just…just come back to me, please. Please. Just leave that arrogant bully and come with me. Let me make it up to you. Let me make you happy."

Lily stared at him. "You'd do that?" she asked quietly. "You'd leave him and the Death Eaters?"

"I would do anything for you."

Lily closed her eyes. She turned away from him and walked towards the window. The night air was crisp and clear. She took in a deep breath before turning to face him again.

"I used to love you, too Sev," she said quietly. "I've loved you more than you could possibly know. And when you called me…Mudblood_"

Snape flinched. "Don't" he muttered.

Lily smiled sadly and continued. "When you called me…that, my world came crushing down. Remember how you kept calling for me outside the dormitory? Well, the real reason why I didn't want to see you at first was that I was crying. I was hurt, Sev. You hurt me," she said softly. He opened his mouth to speak but she held her hand up to silence him. "It took me years to get over you. I started dating James just to scorn you. I knew how much that would irritate you. But this childish attempt at revenge turned into something else. Despite myself, I started to fall for James. And when he asked me to marry him, I said yes. Without any doubt."

"What are you saying?" Snape whispered hoarsely.

Lily look at him. "I'm saying that I'll marry James, Sev. I'm sorry."

And then, she took his shivering hand in hers and pressed it one last time. "Part of me will always love you, Severus Snape," she whispered.

Before he could answer, she took her hand away, and with one last glace across hier shoulder, she was gone.

Snape stood alone in the cold room. He'd failed. Again. Truth be told, he was expecting the pain, he'd even prepared himself for it. But there has been one tiny, fleeting moment of hope, a small beacon of light in his dark existence. And that had been the hope that Lily would one day come back to him. That was what had sustained him through the years.

And now she was gone.

Unable to remain in the room any longer, he awkwardly shuffled out and froze. The ceremony had already started downstairs.

He had to get out of this place. Now. But he found himself being drawn to the stairs where he stood, silent and motionless, watching her get married. From the banister, he saw her standing next to James, looking radiant and peaceful. She looked so happy.

And…him. Potter. Snape clenched his fists. Hatred swelled in his entire being, clashing furiously against all the pain and love that he held for Lily. It was all so unfair. His whole adolescence had been ruined by Potter and his bullying. And now she was snatching away the woman he loved. The only one he ever loved. His Lily.

He could no longer stand it. As much as he would have loved to interrupt the wedding, he couldn't get down the stairs in front of the members of the Order of the Phoenix. So, he turned on his heels and went back to the room where he could exit from the secret door.

But as he entered the room, he noticed something on the table. Lily's forgotten bridal bouquet. Snape walked slowly towards the extravagant bunch of lilies and stared down at it.

"I do." He heard her voice ring out clearly from downstairs.

Lily no longer belonged to him.

A lone tear slipped down his crooked nose. He touched the flower, running his fingers across the petals. The tear splashed softly upon the flower. Very gently, Snape plucked one of the lilies from the bouquet and slipped it inside his robe, next to his heart, where it would stay forever. Where Lily would dwell until his very last breath.

Suddenly, something burned across his arm. He gingerly slid his sleeve up and looked at the dark mark. It burned pitch black. The Dark Lord wanted him. They had something dangerous planned for tonight.

Snape wiped away the stray tear and went towards the secret exit. In the split of a moment, he had made his decision. He would not turn his back on the Dark Lord. He would constantly remain by his master's side. With any luck, he would get killed one day.

And maybe the pain would finally end.