Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, if I did, I'd be in Bora Bora lounging on a chaise as I sip on a nice cold drink. I'm just borrowing the characters for some creative fun. No copyright infringement is intended.

Mmm...

So good...

Ahhh...

Yes!

Ungh.

More...

Ohhh, sweet lord this fried chicken is so good...

Now if only I had some peanut butter and cho–

THWACK!

I'm startled awake by a booming blow that shakes the entire house; making the windows in my room vibrate.

"Ahhh," I gurgle-croak; my heart hammering in my chest.

I try to quickly get out of bed, but the ferocious sheets tangle my legs– making me fall with a sharp thud on the hard wood floor.

My knee lands on something rocky and one of my hands touches something sticky and grainy.

I don't dare open my eyes.

"Uh-ngh." I roll out my misery.

Thank God for my squisshy butt, otherwise I would've had a concussion.

I stagger to my feet – avoiding the heaps of clothing, tools, food, and other shit on the floor – and stumble out of my bedroom door to relief my aching bladder that almost exploded on me in freight.

My home is in chaos, as I hear loud voices and laughter coming from downstairs.

I have no idea as to what is going on, but my peaceful sleep was rudely interrupted by their ruckus.

Sometimes, I wish I had a penis so that I could pee in a discarded soda bottle – that I conveniently happen to have littered around my room – and not have to leave the comfort of my bed. But alas...

As I contemplate who to blame, I groggily make my way to the bathroom.

But before I reach the comfort room, my sister rapidly passes by me in a blur and bumps into me– so hard that I get slammed against the wall.

And for some reason, she still has the audacity to blame me.

"Damn it, Bella! Watch where you're going!" She snaps, but then stops to look down at my outfit.

She smirks and mumbles something that sounds like "forgetful ditz" under her breath as she swiftly walks away.

I try to blink several times to clear my vision, but I'm unsuccessful as my eye boogers act like glue.

I huff and quickly disengage my unwanted make-out session with the wall.

"Sorry," I pat the wall and dizzily enter the bathroom; before someone else makes me sexually harass another inanimate object.

Once I've finished my regular morning routine, my vision clears, and I feel more awake and alert; so I make my way down to the kitchen for some breakfast, and to also see what all the fuzz is about.

My mom has the kitchen's t.v on so loud, that it sounds like a party is going on in the house.

She whacks something on the cutting board, making me jump.

I safely stay where I am, in fear of getting slammed with what looks like a meat tenderizer.

She finally notices me idling around as I laugh at something silly on t.v.

Her eyes widen when she sees me.

"Bella! Put some clothes on before you lure some pedophiles into the neighborhood!"

I give her a confused look as I chug down the bit of the orange juice from the carton left on the counter.

"You're still dressed like that," she motions at my clothing, "at this hour!" She proclaims, as if it were so scandalous.

I look down at myself and notice I've forgotten most of my clothes, as I'm donned in only my bra and panties, and of course, my fuzzy knee-high socks– because it's chilly and I don't want to catch a cold.

But that's normal.

I glance at the microwave and notice it's 8:11AM.

I furrow my eyebrows.

I honestly don't see what the problem is. I was actually expecting praise for waking up this early.

Which makes me wonder why, exactly, everyone woke up so early in the first place...

I shrug as I toss the carton in the freezer.

But then I remember it doesn't belong there and it's empty, so I grab it and place it neatly back on the counter, before I rummage through the cupboards; in search for some Twinkies.

"Bella!" My mom exclaims.

"Renee," I answer, irritably.

She glares at me, but then shakes her head in amusement.

"You're going to be late," she points out.

"Wha-ff?" I say, through a mouthful of fluffy-creaminess.

"Today is your first day of school," she grins.

School?

My eyes almost pop out of my sockets.

The last Twinkie I was holding hits the floor.

And now, I remember...

I groan.

Nice way to start a new school year. Especially since we're new to this town.

Fuck.

.

.

.

A/N: Should I continue?