Title: Moments and Memories
Author: goldenwanderer
Rating: PG
Warnings: Character deaths. Spoilers for Deathly Hallows.
Word Count: 7200+
Pairing(s): Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
Summary: Six different voices tell six different tales, all which involve or revolve around Remus & Tonks.
A/N: This story was written for rtchallenge on Livejournal. It incorporates 30 out of the 31 given prompts.
You're lovely to me, yes you are
We've traveled together
We've traveled so far
Your tongue it is wise
And there's love in your eyes deep and blue
There's nothing you would not provide
When all is despair you are there at my side
It is you that is near, it is you that gives ear when I pray
You're lovely to me, yes you are
It's war all the time but you bear no scar
You glitter like sand as it runs through my hands to the sea
-Lucky Jim, "Lovely to Me"
Moony always confused me, from the first moment I met him. Sometimes, this was understandable. I mean, the poor bloke's always had it pretty bad, being a werewolf and all. But then, he only had his furry little problem (as Prongs would call it) once a month. The rest of the time, I could never understand him. His behavior as a human was always more confusing than his behavior as a werewolf, honestly.
There was one point in my life where Moony confused me more than ever. I like to think of that particular part of my life as a sort of interlude – an interlude between my years of true life and my death.
Sitting here now, I can split my life up into several pieces. There was my childhood – which I strive not to remember. There was my time at school – which I used wisely and well, despite whatever anyone else might say. Then there was a brief period of fighting in the first war - which could have gone on longer, but several mistakes and misunderstandings cut it short. And, of course, there was a long period of my life that was spent locked up in Azkaban – I spent those days remembering my past and reminding myself that I was innocent of any crimes they held against me.
Then, there was the year I spent in hiding after escaping from Azkaban – a relatively easy feat in comparison to becoming an Animagus at the age of fifteen. And then the next year was spent in hiding, as well – the difference being that Harry knew the truth about me. And then, Dumbledore came and found me, and that was the start of the interlude – otherwise known as my return to the house of my bloody fathers.
I don't think I would have been able to survive that year if it hadn't been for the Order setting up headquarters at my Mum and Dad's old place. Well, actually, most of the Order didn't stay around enough for me to really enjoy their company. I think I survived that year because of Moony. Sure, he wasn't always there, but his calling the place 'home' temporarily definitely counted for something.
Whenever he was there, it was like Hogwarts all over again, except that there was no homework, no classes, and McGonagall was only around whenever the Order met. It was absolutely delightful. We could do whatever we wanted – provided that we didn't leave the house and didn't disturb my old Mum. I never could decide which of those rules was more tempting to break.
There was only one bad thing about Moony being my only company most days – it was next to impossible to win at any game without cheating. And heaven help us if prefect Moony allowed cheating. It didn't matter what we did – cards, dice, wizard's chess, anything – Moony was always the winner. It was enough to make an already depressed wizard, like myself, feel a bit lousy.
Besides the days when Harry was at the house, the best times that year were the days when Tonks came 'round to spend the afternoon with Moony and me. I always made sure to play as many games as possible with her, since those days were the only times I ever had a chance at winning anything. She beat me every now and again, but it was a much fairer competition for my part.
I still couldn't cheat with Tonks around, though. And it wasn't just because my dear little cousin was an Auror. It was more that Moony was always right beside her whenever we did anything, and he was always on her side. Not that I completely blame him – she's a lot prettier than his old schoolmate. But, you'd think he might be able to find a book to read for ten minutes, so I could beat his girlfriend's arse into the ground.
I guess I shouldn't have been so hard on Moony. I teased him often enough about Tonks, of course, but he expected nothing less. But, it was always good to see Moony when Tonks was around, though. When she was there, Moony smiled a lot more. He somehow found a way to hold her hand throughout the day. He laughed much more frequently, though never at my jokes. Whenever Tonks came 'round, it was impossible to find Moony reading a book – a rarity among rarities. And, though they didn't know I noticed (it was hard not to), I could always see his eyes shining whenever he looked at her. That was how he unknowingly made up for not letting me cheat when I played games against my cousin.
Once, I was a good old chap and asked Moony, rather seriously, about his relationship with Tonks. As expected, he didn't seem too keen to tell me everything. Though, I must argue, I was his best mate, and he could've told me if he wanted (though, he probably thought I'd spread it around, the way I tend to spread other things). He told me that things were going well, and that he really did like her – but I could gather that from the way he looked at her. Then, Moony started talking even quieter than usual, and he muttered something about Tonks being too perfect for him.
Now, normally, I would have made a joke and agreed with him about that – Prongs would have laughed. But, being the good old chap that I was, I told him that no girl could possibly be too good for him, since he's clearly the best bloke in the world – other than myself, of course. He smiled about that.
I know Moony wished I could have stuck around a bit longer. So did I, at first. It took me a while to get used to the idea that I was dead and couldn't go teasing Moony anymore. So, I did the next best thing – I kept watching them, just so I could say, one day, that I had been there all along.
I saw the first time she invited him to stay the night at her flat – I tuned out when he said yes (pretty sure he'll appreciate that). I saw the night he told her they couldn't be together and broke her heart – and I saw the many nights that he lay underground dreaming of her. I saw her hair change colors, and her Patronus change form to match his furry little problem. I saw the night that she yelled at him and screamed for the millionth time that she didn't care about that little problem. And, I was there the night he told her he had been wrong.
You know, it's ironic that things turned out the way they did. I always said that Moony would end up being happy with my cousin. He just makes everything harder than it has to be. But, he did end up doing exactly what I had predicted all along. What can I say? I'm brilliant.
Mr. Padfoot would like to offer his congratulations to the happy couple, and promises them that he will whip both their arses when they finally get around to dying too.
Lost in this moment with you
I am completely consumed
My feeling's so absolute
There's no doubt
Sealing our love with a kiss
Waited my whole life for this
Watching all my dreams come true
Lost in this moment with you
-Big & Rich, "Lost in this Moment"
It's like I've always told them – constant vigilance.
The invitation arrived at my house three days before the wedding. If the invitations had actually been intended to be used practically, they should have been sent out earlier. As it was, it was lucky the whole of the guest list was informed already.
I was asked by the bride herself to supervise the wedding. I thought this was awfully responsible – and rather out of character – for Nymphadora Tonks. I suspect Lupin was behind it.
The bride wasn't the only one who wanted to make sure I took extra precautions. Molly Weasley wouldn't hear of anything but the strongest security charms I could perform. I was sure she would ask for even more at her own son's wedding. Andromeda Tonks, meanwhile, seemed a bit calmer than Molly, which was a surprise, considering she was the real mother of the bride.
On the day of the wedding, I had to check to make sure everyone was really who they said they were. Nymphadora thought it was silly to check her and Lupin – she claimed that no Death Eater would want to marry either her or Lupin, not even in disguise. But, constant vigilance is the key. I checked them all. And they all passed inspection.
Of course, people were not the only things that could be potentially dangerous. I felt obligated to check each and every item to make sure they weren't cursed or dangerous in any way. I had a particularly difficult time with a set of spoons, but as it turned out, they only contained a joke from Fred and George Weasley. I would have given them a talking to, but Molly beat me to it. Nymphadora thought this was particularly funny, and told me that she would be mocking me for the spoon incident in the future.
At last, the wedding began. I stood at the back of the garden, my wand at the ready in case of an emergency. I was prepared for anything.
Well, almost for anything. As the ceremony was about to start, I heard a voice in my ear. "Constant vigilance, right, Mad-Eye?"
It was Nymphadora. She was all dressed up in her perfectly safe wedding gown. She looked – dare I say it – beautiful. "Right, Nymphadora."
"It'll be over soon, Mad-Eye," she whispered. "Then you can release me."
"What do you mean, Nymphadora?"
"I'll be with Remus. You won't have to watch me all the time anymore."
"As long as he maintains constant vigilance, Nymphadora."
"Of course he will, Mad-Eye," she said. The music began to play, and she began to walk down the aisle. "And don't call me Nymphadora," she added in a whisper as she left.
No one was watching, so I let myself smile once or twice during the ceremony. But I didn't stop watching. It wasn't time to let Nymphadora go quite yet. Then, with a single kiss, my hold on her vanished, and – as she put it – I released her. She was with Lupin now. She would be safe.
Unless, of course, the confetti that Fred and George threw on them was cursed. I never found out how they got that bucket past me.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
-W.H. Auden, "Funeral Blues"
I was in the bathtub the day he came back.
I was sitting in silence. I didn't know where Mum or Dad were, nor did I really care. Mum had told me earlier how awful I looked. Dad told me that a nice, warm bubble bath might help. When Mum had left the room, he also mentioned that bubble baths had always had a calming effect on Mum when she was pregnant with me. I should have laughed at that.
I heard the knock on the door. I heard Dad ask for the identity of the visitor. I heard his voice through the door. It echoed in my ears as though he had stood right next to me. As I shook in surprise, my arm slipped from the side of the bathtub and disappeared beneath the bubbly surface.
"It is I, Remus John Lupin, werewolf, married to Nymphadora Elizabeth Tonks, daughter of Edward Carl Tonks and Andromeda Druella Tonks, who stays with his wife in the guest room upstairs instead of Dora's childhood bedroom."
I heard the door open. I heard my father greet him. I could hear the coldness in Dad's voice. I knew Dad was angrier with him than I was about the whole affair. I wondered whether Dad would let him stay and come to me, or whether he would send him out in fury. But then I remembered that Dad would never do anything that rash. I should have been comforted by that.
I heard the footsteps in the hallway as he came nearer to the bathroom. I knew he was coming to see me – Mum must've told him where I was. I could have locked the door if my wand had been within my reach. But, I found myself glued to the bottom of the bathtub. I didn't know why, but I didn't dare move. And yet, I wasn't worried by that.
I heard his voice through the door. He didn't know that I had heard him come in. He asked if he could enter. My voice was stuck in the back of my throat, but I somehow communicated that he had permission to come in.
I saw the door open. I saw him come in. I could tell that he was feeling just as much distress I as felt. His beautiful blue eyes were filled with shame, sorrow, regret, pain. I felt tears beginning to well up in my eyes. I forced them back – I was not going to cry, yet.
"Hullo, Dora."
I saw his eyes drift to the floor. I knew how he felt – my eyes wanted to examine the side of the tub. I let them look down for a moment, but then I looked back up at his face. He looked terrible.
"Wotcher, Remus." The words floated out of my mouth before I could stop them. After all, it was habit.
I saw him raise his head to look at me. I knew he had been expecting cold words from me. I had been expecting to give them. Both of us were equally surprised. He swallowed. He was about to say something else.
"Hello, baby."
The other arm slid from the side of the tub and disappeared beneath the water. I stared at him. He stared right back at me. His eyes were now fixed on mine. He took one step toward me, and then another.
I wanted to say something, but the words did not come. His words had the same effect as the Stupefy spell. I was stunned. I could say nothing. All I could do was sit and let him walk toward me.
"I'm sorry, Dora."
"For what, Remus? What are you sorry for?"
I was not stupid. I knew what he had done, why he had left. I knew what had happened. But I had to hear it from his lips, in his words, in his voice.
"For walking away, Dora. For leaving you behind. For everything."
I did not answer. I could not answer. I looked away from him. My eyes landed on the soap, which for some reason, I had left on the other side of the room – right next to my wand.
His eyes must have followed mine. "Accio soap." The soap flew into his hands. He took another step toward me. He reached out his hand to give me the object he carried.
"You'll need this."
I reached out and took it from his hand. I froze as my hand touched his. I did not think I could ever forget the feel of his hand on mine. But the touch – his touch – surprised me. It seemed I had forgotten just how it felt to be without it.
"Thanks, but I think I'm done." I set the soap down on the bathtub next to me. I hoisted myself to my feet and stepped out of the tub. I picked up the towel nearby and wrapped it around myself. I wanted to be somewhat dry for this conversation.
"Your hair is brown."
I turned to face him. He was now staring at my hair instead of my eyes.
"Of course it is." He looked at me, confused. So I explained. "Mum says I have to conserve my energy whenever possible. Refuses to let me morph more than once or twice a day. I've always said she's daft, but then, she's the one who's been pregnant before, and -"
I did not have a chance to say anything more. He obviously didn't seem to mind that I was wet. Suddenly, his arms were wrapped around me and his lips had found mine. I should have protested against that.
But, I didn't.
When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you.
I find it hard to believe you don't know
The beauty that you are
But if you don't let me be your eyes
A hand in your darkness, so you won't be afraid.
When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you.
I'll be your mirror
-Velvet Underground, "I'll Be Your Mirror"
That night, I had been cleaning. That was hardly what I would call unusual – I had been cleaning almost non-stop for most of the past twenty-five years. And lately, I had been doing even more than usual. Ted was no longer around to make his usual mess, but now I had baby Teddy to clean up after, too.
Normally, Remus would most likely have volunteered to help me. He was a good boy like that, always ready to help when you needed him. Nymphadora, on the other hand, was not one to volunteer to clean anything – she was always too much like her father. But anyway, Remus was out visiting Bill and Fleur Weasley that night at their home, so I was left to do my work alone.
I hadn't had the chance to clean the kitchen thoroughly in over a month, owing to the constant supply of clothes, diapers, toys, blankets, and other baby things strewn about the house. So, I was anxious to finally get my kitchen back to its normal state of cleanliness.
And it certainly needed it, my goodness. Despite my best efforts, a rather large pile of dirty pots, pans, and dishes lay in the sink. The counters needed a good scrubbing, as did the cabinetry and most of the appliances. And the corners of the room were covered in dust and cobwebs. A bit of magic would work for most witches. But for me, a good, thorough, Muggle-style cleaning acted as therapy. And believe me, my husband and daughter never understood that.
I worked for quite a while. Sometimes, I would use my wand, and other times, I would use the more old-fashioned Muggle methods. The cobwebs gave me the most trouble, so much so that magic was the only way I could deal with them. The rest, though, was relatively easy. After a while, my kitchen was finally beginning to look much better, much cleaner.
So, at last, I sat down on one of the chairs and did the last part of any good cleaning session – I admired my handiwork. The kitchen looked better than it had been in months. I couldn't help but be proud of myself for it, for I knew only Remus would truly be able to appreciate it.
It was at that moment I noticed, for the first time since I began cleaning, that I had not seen or heard anything from either Nymphadora or Teddy. Any other person might have taken this for a stroke of good luck. But, I have been Nymphadora's mother long enough to know that being this quiet is never a good sign. So, having only sat down for a few minutes, I got back up and walked out of the kitchen. My legs wanted to carry me to her old bedroom, but then I remembered that she wouldn't be in there – she, Remus, and the baby were staying in the guest room upstairs, for security purposes.
As I approached the door to the old guest room, I thought I had better listen to see if she was in there first, as it would be rude to simply walk in uninvited. But, when I arrived, I found the door halfway open. I poked my head partially inside. My immediate thought was to how much the room needed a good tidying up.
The bed was unmade, and there was a great lump in the middle. Right next to the lump, however, was little Teddy. His hair was bright orange. He was laying flat on his back with his arms in the air. I glanced around the room, looking for Nymphadora. Surely she wouldn't just leave the baby unattended like this. What if he fell off the bed while she was gone?
I didn't have long to think about it, though. All of a sudden, the lump in the middle of the bed moved. Nymphadora's brightly colored hair and smiling face appeared from under the blankets. I nearly fell over as I jumped in surprise. My hand went to my mouth as I tried to suppress a gasp.
"Peek-a-boo!" cried Nymphadora, reaching her hands out to tickle Teddy. He cooed and giggled loudly. Nymphadora's smile widened, and she cooed back at her son. Then, she disappeared underneath the covers again. A few moments later, she appeared again, this time with a different hair color. "Peek-a-boo!" she cried again, and Teddy cried out in laughter again.
I couldn't hold it in anymore. The look on Nymphadora's face, combined with the joyful squeals of her baby boy, it was all too much for me. I let out a small laugh, hoping that it would not catch their attention. Then, Nymphadora's head turned quickly to the doorway.
"Oh, look Teddy, it's your Nana," said Nymphadora. "Say hello to Nana, Teddy," she cooed gently. She smiled up at me, and Teddy let out a small cry of delight. "Do you want to see Nana, Teddy? Do you want to go see her? Mummy'll take you to see her, ok, Teddy?"
She leaped all the way out from under the covers and landed miraculously gracefully on the floor. She scooped Teddy up in one swoop, and was over to the door in an instant. She turned Teddy toward me and cooed, "Say hello to Nana, Teddy. Say hello."
"He can't say hello, Nymphadora," I told her.
"And I'm glad he'll never have to call me 'Nymphadora,' either," she said. "You wanna hold him?"
"I'd be glad to," I said. I took Teddy from her arms and held him close in mine. He looked up at me, curiosity in his eyes. He sat quite still for a moment, then began to wave his arms wildly up at me. His hair turned dark blue as he wriggled in my arms.
"Now, be nice to Nana, Teddy," said Nymphadora. "Or she'll make you turn your hair brown."
I tried to give a stern look to Nymphadora, but it did no good. The sight of my little girl under the covers reminded me of something. When she had been a baby, her dad used to play the same game with her – well, a similar game, anyway, since he could never change his hair color. I couldn't believe she remembered that. Or, perhaps, Ted had mentioned it to her before the baby had been born. It had been Nymphadora's favorite game for several years. I had always loved watching them – watching him take care of her.
As I held Teddy in my arms, I thought of Ted. He was gone now, gone for good, and he had never gotten the chance to see his daughter playing with her son. He would have loved that. He would have loved it more than anything. I felt tears starting to gather in my eyes. This was the reason that Nymphadora wouldn't have asked me to come up and watch – she knew that it had been one of Ted's games.
"I'm sorry, Mum," Nymphadora said suddenly. "I should've shut the door, or -"
"No," I interrupted. "No, I'm glad you got a chance to play with Teddy. I – I always loved watching how much joy such a simple game can bring. I – I'm glad."
She smiled a sympathetic smile at me, and then she threw her arms around me. "I know it's hard, Mum," she said. I could tell that tears were now building in her eyes, too. "I miss him, too, so much. It's not fair – none of it. I just thought that maybe – just maybe it'd help me remember him better."
I pulled away from her hug and adjusted my grip on Teddy. "I understand, sweetheart," I said. "Your dad would have wanted it that way – he would have wanted you to enjoy your time with Teddy."
"Yeah," said Nymphadora. "Mum, do you remember that lullaby Dad always used to sing to me? That one about the mirror?"
For the second time that evening, I was shocked that she could remember a detail like this. "Of course I do," I whispered. Ted always used to sing Nymphadora a special lullaby before she went to sleep. He always used to tell her that he would always be there for her.
"Do you think you could teach it to Remus?"
I looked at her, the tears now flowing steadily down my cheeks as I thought about the song. As I stood there, I remembered something that Ted told me before we were married. He said, "'Dromeda, I know there's a lot of junk in the world – awful, bad stuff that makes everything feel perfectly horrible. But you know what I think? I think that there's a lot of kindness, too. And if we can help other people enough, that kindness can overflow, until it rains down on everyone around us. Then we can wash away all the junk. Wouldn't that be nice?"
I knew, at that moment, exactly what Ted meant. When he had first said it, I thought he was talking about washing away the pain that came when my family deserted me. I thought he was talking about getting rid of all those people who caused so much pain and trouble in the world. But, right then, I knew that he meant more than that. He was trying to emphasize the good, not the bad. He wanted me to know that there is some good in this world, and if we try hard enough, we can find it.
My tears started to vanish from my face. Ted would have wanted me to smile. Ted would have wanted me to help my child and her husband. Ted would have wanted me to be proud to teach my son-in-law a song that might bring comfort to his son, in turn. That's what Ted would have wanted.
That night, I taught the song to Remus. Nymphadora listened, too, and I thought I could see tears glistening in her eyes as she heard me sing. I knew that she was remembering her father's voice.
A few nights later, as I was walking down the hallway, I heard Remus singing to Teddy. It was the lullaby. I paused for a moment to listen. It made my heart glad to hear him singing so happily to his son. It would have made Ted so proud.
The very next time little Teddy heard the lullaby, his mother and father were out fighting in a battle. His dear old grandmother had tried everything to lull him to sleep, and the song was the only thing that seemed to work. Teddy would not hear his father's voice singing to him again.
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
-Snow Patrol and Martha Wainwright, "Set Fire to the Third Bar"
I didn't want her to be there. I had told her not to come. I had pleaded with her to stay with our son, our Teddy. I had tried everything. She had told me she would not come. And yet, she was there.
The battlefield had felt lonely before she came. Though there were people everywhere, I felt very much alone. But I would not have chosen to have her come.
It was complete chaos when she arrived. I had been dueling with Dolohov. After performing a body-bind curse on him, I ran in the other direction. Curses and countercurses, jinxes and counterjinxes, hexes and shield charms – spells were flying everywhere. It was difficult to see what was going on. I never saw her coming.
"Remus!"
The sound of her voice was all it took to turn my head in her direction. She was running toward me, sending spells out of her wand as she came.
"Dora, what are you doing here?"
"I – I couldn't stay at home – had to find out – had to know." She was completely out of breath, and her words were jumbled. "I – I had to come – Remus, you're – you're all right."
"You were supposed to stay with Teddy, Dora."
"I couldn't stay – I had to come – I had to know..."
"Dora, you shouldn't be here. You should be-"
"I know where I should me, Remus. I'm here now. I'm here – with you."
I knew that I could not convince her otherwise. That had never worked in the past. I had tried to convince her that I was too old for her. That had failed. I had tried to convince her that I was too poor for her. That had failed. I had tried to convince her that I was too dangerous for her. That had failed. And I had tried to convince her that we should never be together. Thank God, that had failed.
"Well, let's get fighting, Remus. There's a lot of work to be done."
She took my hand in hers, and with our wands drawn, we ran deeper into the battle. The Death Eaters seemed to be everywhere, but there were also many of those on our side. I looked over at Dora. I knew that she would not go down without a fight. I smiled at the thought, and squeezed her hand once, just to tell her I loved her.
"Ooh, look, it's ickle Nymphie-Dora-kins!"
The voice cut through the chaos and cut into my heart. I did not need to run to see who it was.
"Oh, hello Auntie Bella," said Dora. Her voice was defiant and nearly as sarcastic as Bellatrix's. "Good to see you again."
"And look, you've got your werewolf with you, too. How quaint."
Dora began shooting off silent curses at Bellatrix. The two were evenly matched in dueling skill. Dora let go of my hand and began to circle around, never taking her eyes off her opponent.
"Yeah, he's great. You're jealous – I can tell."
Bellatrix laughed coldly and cruelly. "Don't make me laugh, fool."
"I'm afraid it's too late for that – you've just laughed."
At that moment, I could no longer watch their every move, for Dolohov came at me again. But Dolohov and I duelled silently. I could hear every word Dora and Bellatrix said.
"That doesn't matter. I'll get you and your werewolf mate. I've heard you've got a cub at home, as well. He'll want to meet Mummy's Auntie Bella, won't he?"
Dora's voice suddenly changed. No more sarcasm echoed in her words. "You – will – never – touch – Teddy."
"Ooh, you think so, ickle Nymphadora? He'll be next, right after you and your beast of a husband."
"No!"
"Expelliarmus!"
As Dora shouted, she failed to block Bellatrix's spell, and her wand flew to Bellatrix's hand. At the same moment, Bellatrix cackled with laughter. I turned without thinking, and the next moment, I found myself wandless, too. Dolohov and Bellatrix had surrounded us.
"Ooh, look at this, Dolohov," said Bellatrix. "I think I hit a soft spot. How... touching."
"Let's kill them, Bellatrix."
"Not yet," said Bellatrix. "I want the half-blood freak to die in her mate's arms." She pointed her wand at Dora, who backed up into me.
I took Dora in my arms willingly. There was no more we could do, unless someone came to save us. But we were alone – quite alone. I wrapped my arms tightly around Dora. She turned and looked up into my eyes.
"I – I'm sorry, Remus," she whispered. "It was my fault, I could've blocked that spell. I..."
"It's all right, Dora."
"But, Teddy-"
"-will know why we died. He will be proud. Your mother can take care of him."
"I – I love you, Remus."
"I love you, too, Nymphadora."
Then I drew her up in my arms and kissed her. I could feel her tears flowing onto my face, but I didn't care. I held onto her as tightly as I could. As we broke apart, I expected to hear her ask me not to call her 'Nymphadora.'
But, that moment never came. The end came in the form of two curses. The last thing I knew was the peace that filled her beautiful eyes.
Speak to me, when all you
got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just
to make it through
-All American Rejects, "Move Along"
To be honest, I really didn't want to go. But, I knew it wouldn't be fair if I didn't go. And what would it say to the people of the world if their 'savior' was not in attendance? I had to go. But that didn't make it any easier.
Outside the building, there were more people than I could ever hope to count. It took me several minutes to push through the crowd to the door. The directors of the Memorial had decided that only a select group of people would be allowed inside for the dedication. The rest of the crowd would be able to hear the speeches from outside. I thought this was a good idea.
Yes, that day was the dedication for the 'The Memorial for the Fallen,' which by now, most people simply call 'The Memorial.' I had merited an invitation for various reasons. Most would say it was because I had ended the war, allowing the fallen to be remembered like this. But, I liked to think that it was because I had been so close to so many of the people that were being honored.
I knew it was supposed to be quite an amazing sight, but I had no idea just how much of an understatement that was. I couldn't believe my eyes when I first walked in. Everywhere you looked, there was something that needed to be remembered. I knew that there was a room for important items – such as the former Horcruxes that were still in existence – that had been saved for future generations. I knew that there was a room dedicated specially to the details of the first war, and one dedicated specially to the details of the second war. I knew that there was a room dedicated to the surviving members of the Order, and one even dedicated to the D.A. – I was pretty sure Neville and Luna had headed that one up.
But the most impressive – and heart-breaking – element of the Memorial was the wall that you looked upon when you first entered. On this wall was written the names of everything single person who had been killed by Voldemort, or one of the Death Eaters, whether in one of the wars or not. Even the Muggles that had been murdered were listed upon this wall. I felt sad to know their families would never know about this Memorial. Though, I knew Myrtle would have been happy to know that hers was the very first name listed.
Anyway, it wasn't long before I found Ron and Hermione, who, like me, had ended up being invited. Hermione was with her parents, who now remembered who she was. Ron was with his family, too – they were here mostly to remember Fred. It was difficult to see the Weasley family without his smiling face. Mrs. Weasley tried to greet me warmly, but I knew this had to be a hard day for her, so I didn't push it. Even Fleur seemed disheartened by the day's events. Nevertheless, she was spending most of her time trying to comfort George and Percy.
For the first time, I decided not to stand with either Ron or Hermione. They were going to mourn and remember with their families today. I, meanwhile, had my own remembering to do. I went up to the wall, where so many people were searching for familiar names, and began to look for the names that I knew so well.
James Potter. Lily Potter.
I had seen their names written in stone so many times before that it seemed impossible to cry. Without them, so many more names would have been written on this wall. They deserved only the best of remembrance today.
Sirius Black.
The sight of this name was still hard to swallow. He had been gone before I could say good-bye, and he never had a chance to be properly buried. He always had liked to be different, but it had still been hard to imagine life without him. He had lived for so long in hiding from a crime he never committed. I only wish that he could have tasted true freedom at least once before he died.
Hedwig, the owl. Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody. Dobby, the house-elf.
If the atmosphere had been different, I might have laughed that they put Hedwig's name on a war memorial. But she had done so much for me, and it was only right that they remember her. I was sure she was the only owl on the wall, though. And Dobby – he was the only house-elf there, too, I was sure of it. But he died a hero's death – once again, trying to save me. I wondered whether or not Moody would have liked his name in between theirs.
The next several columns of names were various others killed in the second war, mostly in the Battle of Hogwarts. I spotted Fred's name, and Colin's name. I knew that eventually, no one would be able to look here, since so many parents had come to see their child's name. Especially with the Weasleys here, no one would be able to get to Fred's name.
The last few names that I was searching for were hidden behind a woman with soft brown hair and sad, soft eyes. She was holding a very small boy with blue hair. I knew at once what names she was looking at.
Edward Tonks. Remus Lupin. Nymphadora Lupin.
All at once, the woman turned and faced me. "Oh, hello Harry," she whispered. She had obviously just been crying, for her face was red and blotchy, and her words sounded choked. "I was just... looking at the names."
"Hello, Andromeda," I said. "How's Teddy?"
"Better," she said, "now that he can see his Mummy and Daddy's names."
I didn't respond. There were no words to say to her, nothing that could change the names on the wall. Her husband, her daughter, her new son – all gone in a few months' time. There was nothing that could possibly be more painful – nothing.
"But anyway, I don't want to get too emotional, for Teddy's sake," said Andromeda, trying to wipe away her tears. "I want him to be proud of his parents, you know."
"He will be, Andromeda," I told her. "He's got a wonderful grandmother to watch out for him, too."
"Well, thank you, Harry, but it isn't the same."
I couldn't argue with that. It certainly wouldn't be the same for Teddy. He would have to grow up knowing that he wouldn't ever know his parents, just like me. And I had had a whole year with them – Teddy only got a few months.
"Hey, Andromeda, how would you like to come to the Weasleys' for dinner tonight?" I asked suddenly. "I'm sure Mrs. Weasley wouldn't mind setting an extra place at the table."
"I don't know, Harry..."
"Mrs. Weasley makes some of the best food you'll ever taste," I tried to argue. "And... you shouldn't be alone all the time. Besides, Teddy'll have plenty of people to play with."
"Well, if you're sure they won't mind..."
"I'm sure."
Andromeda did not look completely convinced, but I don't think even she could turn down an offer like that.
"Very well, Harry. But, I will talk to Molly Weasley about it first."
"I'll see you tonight, then. Bye-bye Teddy," I added fluffing the baby's hair. I gave Andromeda another faint smile. Then I turned to go.
"Wait, Harry," said Andromeda suddenly. I had only taken about five steps. I turned around and came back to her. "I – well – Nymphadora wanted you to have this if they – you know – if they didn't come back." She reached underneath her robes and pulled out something small and flat, like parchment.
It wasn't parchment, though. It was a picture. Lupin and Tonks were smiling up at me and waving. Tonks had one arm around Lupin and looked like she was jumping up and down.
"That was taken the day they came back from their honeymoon. It was a short honeymoon – only a few days – they had to come and get you, after all..."
I looked at the Lupin in the picture. I had only seen him this happy once before – the day Teddy was born. The lights seemed to dance across his face. This was exactly the way he would want to be remembered – happy, young, and standing next to Tonks.
"Thanks, Andromeda," I said. "It's really great."
"You're welcome, Harry," she whispered. "You're the only one I'd want to have it. Keep it safe."
"I will, I promise."
All of a sudden, Kingsley's voice echoed through the Memorial. The dedication ceremony was about to begin. Andromeda readjusted Teddy in her arms and with a quick wave, she disappeared into the moving crowd.
I took one last look at the wall. The names were still there, forever imprinted in stone. I glanced down at the photo again. And then I smiled. Lupin would've liked this. Tonks probably would've, too.
And even though so many things had gone wrong, for the time being, all was well.
Author's Notes: This was my excuse for not writing anything all month long at rtchallenge. But I used all the prompts except for "crossover." This will probably be the only time I will follow canon at the end of DH. It's just a fun one-shot.
Review, please.