Ch 1: How I Got To Mutant School

"Alls I can do is freeze stuff. It's really not that big of a deal."

That's exactly what I told Professor X, that old bald fart in the wheelchair. When I say, old bald fart, I mean it in a complimentary way, of course. I've called my teachers worse.

My own father sent me here when I first discovered my powers. That stuffy arse. He's such a phony, with his pansy suits and wife of the evening. I can't stand phony people. I don't have many good traits, but the one thing I can brag about is that I ain't phony.

So, anyways, there I was at home, the day before I was sent off like a rotten case of fruit, after having flunked out of my third... fifth... even I've lost count, boarding school. My dad was off with some floozy, leaving me behind to take care of my two little twin sisters.

I don't like little kids and normally, I would have dropped out of there faster than you can say 'stay', but Sophie's not a bad kid. Sally annoys the hell out of me though. Tattling little brat.

Anyway, so there I am, sipping some coffee, minding my own damn business watching some half-witted TV show when my girlfriend, Molly, calls me.

She tells me that she's 'ready' and that I should pick her up.

Doesn't that sound like she's putting out? I mean, I wouldn't think anything of it, but she said it all sexy. I mean, Molly's a damn good looking girl and has been around the block a couple of times. I'm well and prepared. Plus, it was our tenth damn date and all we did was get to second base. I'm not exactly patient, you know? But I'm no rapist either. If she didn't want to, I'd respect her and all. I can't stand a man who can't respect a woman. Damned jackasses those guys are.

Anyway, so I locked Sal and Sophie in their room from the outside so I wouldn't get in trouble. I guess I should feel a little bad for 'em, but, eh... I can't even count how many times my own older sister locked me in a closet. Crazy ass shrew. Thank god she's married and living on the West Coast. I just hope her kids don't come out all goddamn hippie like. I don't got anything against hippies, I just can't personally stand them, is all.

So, I went and picked Molly up and drove to the Cinema on Boulevard Street. Let me tell you, I never seen Molly look as pretty as she did that day. She was wearing a sweater all tight and a really short skirt. I don't rightly remember what color it was, just that she was damned good looking.

Molly always put her hair up, but today it was down and I was surprised to see that it was so long. I've always been attracted to blondes. When my older brother first saw her, he was in shock. I'm not exactly a ladies' man.

So when I took her to the old cinema, the only thing playing right at the moment was that old Alfred Hitchcock movie, 'Psycho'. Enough said, right? Walked faster into that movie theater than I did when... well, actually, I don't think I've ever walked near as fast as that.

So, there me and Molly, or Molly and I, or whatever the hell is grammatically correct were, watching the black and white movie and sneaking kisses when she suddenly pulls apart, all hasty and shit.

"Aidan," she says, "Do you love me?"

Well, what the hell is a guy supposed to say to that? If I say no, I'm being insensitive. I didn't want to hurt her feelings neither. I'm good at lying, though. I don't know why, but I always have been good at it. It just slips out.

So I told her I loved her more than life itself and so on, and the next thing I knew, we were making out like she was dying and in need of mouth to mouth resuscitation.

So, I'm sitting there as happy as a clam, and this little voice says to me, 'Aidan, something bads about to happen.' I ignored the little voice of course. Damned voice bothered me enough as it is. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy cause I can't seem to hear myself think over all the damn voices.

So, I says to Molls, that maybe we should go back to the car, and she gets all pissy. Molly does that a lot. When she doesn't get her way, she can become the biggest bitch this side of the river. I don't call many girls bitches neither. Just the ones that act it.

She probably acts that way cause she's rich. That's another thing I can't stand. Rich snotty people. I'm rich and I can't half stand myself anyways.

So we go outside and I says to her that I'll drop her home and she gets all teary and mad and throws her coke at me. The coke freezes in midair and I had to dodge the damn thing or get impaled by a coke icicle.

So she's lookin' at her hands all in shock and whatnot thinking she did it, when I noticed that the puddle I was standing in froze too. I touched my own cup 'o joe and the thing froze. When Molls saw that, she ran of screaming. So much for love, eh?

Anyways, I went home pretending like nothing happened. Secretly, I was (and still am) kinda annoyed that I got such a crap ass power. It's bad enough that I'm a mutant, but I couldn't even develop something cool, like walking through walls or reading minds. Although I probably wouldn't want to read most of the minds of the people living around me. I'm not the brightest bulb in the shed, but I'm not as half-witted as most of the people I meet.

So, it was pretty cold outside and I started wishing I developed heat laser power or some shit like that by the time I got to the front of the house. I walked in pretending like nothing happened.

I opened the door to let my sisters out, but they were both asleep looking all innocent, so I closed the door and walked to the living room. It would be interesting to see how long it would take for them to figure out that the door was open.

I went on with a normal day, pushing the previous events of the evening to the back of my head. So what if I had some freak ass power? I wasn't going to tell anyone.

The next morning Alice, the maid, woke me up and told me my dad was calling me. I was pissed seeing how it was 9 o 'clock in the morning. Freaking unholy time to wake up. At my last boarding school, we all had to wake up at 6 o 'clock in the morning for mass. I told the committee I was Jewish. That way, I could also get extra holidays, seeing how it's a Christian boarding school and they know next to nothing about the holidays of the Jews.

So, anyways, there I am, in my stupid elephant pajamas which my stupid flooze of a stepmother bought me on my birthday with my dad telling me he just got off the phone with Molly's father and that I was going to be sent to Xavier's School of the Gifted.

I guess dear old Dad'll have to stop comin' after mutants all the time, huh? Ever since he became a senator he's become harder on them. It'll be funny when the press gets a whiff of the news.

So Sophie starts crying, beggin' me to stay, and I nearly had to push her offa me to get out the door. I felt a little bad leaving Sophie behind, but it wasn't like I had a choice.

Anyways, so dear old dad decided to send me off to Professor X, one of his dear old friends, and I was gonna sneak off when I got to the airport, but the damned school sent their own damned jet to my house to pick me up! Pissed me right off.

Alls I know is that I ain't sharing the room with no mutant freak.

Yeah, I know all you readers hate Aidan, eh? Well, he happens to be just like me, so you better get used to it. My friends say ya have to get used to me to like me. I don't know about all of that shit, but I happen to like me a lot.

Honestly, I couldn't care less whether you reviewed or not. I ain't writing this story for anyone else, I'm writing it cause I feel like it. If you're going to write a review, make sure it's in depth.

Oh, and I'm not just like Holden Caufield, he's just like me. So shut up about that already.