Pain

Remus and Sirius had been dating since their 6th year at Hogwarts, and they had their own flat together since graduation. Remus could not find work in the wizarding world and so he was working at a muggle bookshop. It was the perfect place for him to be. His knowledge and love of books made him an amazing employee for the old man who owned the shop. Sirius was in auror training. It was a job that pushed him to his limit every day and he loved it.

For months suspicions had been rising. There is a traitor in their group destroying the trust that had been built for the last 8 years. The war was on the verge of breaking out. The violence reported in the news everyday was tiring to all of those involved. Everyone was choosing sides and now James, lily and baby Harry were in hiding.

Sirius had not been home often in the past few months. This was starting to bother Remus, he was sure that his boyfriend was cheating on him. Sirius would come home smelling of sex and something familiar that Remus had not been able to figure out. These thought consumed his mind every day. One night it had become too much for Remus to handle anymore. He knew what that mysterious smell was and who it belonged to.

Sirius came home after a long day at training eager to drag himself into the shower. Opening the door of the flat, he saw Remus. He was a mess. His sandy blond hair was standing up on all ends, his eyes were puffy and red and he was holding a letter.

"What is this?"

He screamed. His voice cracking and on the verge of tears.

"Rem baby calm down, let's talk"

A book flew past Sirius' head.

"Screw you Black, we are not going to talk, there is nothing left to say. I know all about it, how could you do this to me? To Lily? My god you selfish asshole. You're sleeping with James!"

Remus felt like he was about to lose his footing, the room was spinning. With every second, his heart was breaking more and more. The man he had loved with his very soul had wounded him worse than ever before. Sirius reached out his hand , his eyes shining with shame and pain , knowing how much he had hurt his mate.

"Rem baby it was a mistake. I love you so much. Please, it will not happen again-"

Remus cut him off mid-sentence.

"Bull shit you've been fucking him for months Before , during and after work. You have always loved James. I was just a goddamn placeholder while you sat around waiting for him to suck you off! How could you do this? I gave you everything I have ever had to offer. Wolves mate for life , even if I wanted to I could never love someone else again. Why did you do this? Do you hate me? Or do you just not care! ?"

Remus finally couldn't stand anymore; he dropped to his knees and sobbed. "I love you so much it hurts. Nothing hurts as much as this. The transformations are nothing compared to this, I would have done anything for you". Sirius had remained quiet until this point standing in the corner near the door. Tears were freely falling from his eyes. This was never what he had wanted.

"Rem honey please forgive me, we can work through this, don't throw away our love"

Remus stared at his lover with hate in his eyes

"Our love his dead. It died when you kissed him. It died when you would come home smelling like him and try to fuck me. It died when you lied to me night after night"

Sirius was fighting a losing battle.

"You're my world Rem"

Remus let out a shuttered breath and for the first time Sirius noticed his bags packed in the corner.

"Get out Padfoot. It's over"

Sirius tried to hug Remus but he pushed him away weakly. Sirius grabbed him and they sank to the ground.

"Please don't let me go Rem; I'm nothing without you"

Remus could see that Sirius was telling the truth, but too much had happened he needed time alone to think.

" I need you to leave for a week; I need to think about this all. I don't know if I can ever forgive you but I wanna try"

Sirius nodded and kissed Remus on the head before leaving. He turned and said
"I love you Remus"
The door clicked softly shut and Remus spent the night sobbing on the floor. The next morning the Potters were found dead and Sirius was arrested.