"ALRIGHT KIDDIES WELCOME TO TRANSFIGURATION CLASS. MY NAME IS PROFESSOR POLO. IF I HEAR ANY FUCKING MARCO POLO JOKES IN OR OUTSIDE THIS CLASSROOM I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS. TODAY'S LESSON IS THAT WE SHALL JUST BE GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER." The tall man pointed at a terrified first year in the front row, who let out a scream and nearly fainted as the professor rounded on him. "YOU! PIPSQUEAK WITH THE UGLY FACE! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR NAME!? AND WHAT HOUSE DO YOU BELONG TO?"
The kid gulped and turned pale as all the other frightened children turned their attention on him. "M-M-My name-e is-is K-Kyle Lu-Lunobodt a-and I-I'm a Huffle-Hufflepuff-ff!"
Polo snorted. "Hufflepuff. Figures." He looked at the next victim. "YOU! SNOTTY LOOKING KID! FROM WHOM BIRTHED YOU AND WHERE HAS THAT RATTY OLD SHITTY HAT PLACED YOU!?"
"Welcome to Potions class~!" the professor greeted his students cheerfully. "Today, in order to learn how to make potions, we are going to make cakes to learn the differences between dicing, slicing, and other ways to prepare a potion. My name is Rabastan Lestrange, also, feel free to ask questions~!"
"Hello children to Defense Against the Dark Arts. To start today we shall be having a pop quiz. Who can tell me the three unforgivable curses?"
A quivering Ravenclaw raised their hand. "T-The Unforgivable curses are the Killing Curse, Cruciatus Curse, and the Imperius Curse."
"Wonderful!" the woman cackled loudly. "I shall demonstrate one. Crucio!" she pointed her wand at the Ravenclaw who answered, and the child let out a scream as they feel out of their chair and convulsed on the ground.
The DADA teacher laughed and wiped her eyes. "Ah, that never gets old."
"ALRIGHT LET ME JUST GET ONE THING CLEAR. I AM NOT HERE ON MY OWN FREE WILL. THIS IS SOME STUPID IDEA THE MINISTRY HAS IMPLANTED TO MAKE US OF USE INSTEAD OF ROTTING AWAY IN THAT DAMMED PRISON. THEY HAVE ENTRUSTED US WITH YOUR LIVES. THAT IS SOMETHING THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO RUN YOU WELL BETWEEN THE BARRIERS OF LIFE AND DEATH. NOW DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY PUSHUPS!"
"S-Sir yes sir!"
Antonin Dolohov grinned. "I will create my own army of miniature soldiers that only follow my command… and I shall rule the world."
The students who heard him just silently cried as they completed another pushup.
Dolohov put his boot on one of the slower students' backs. "MOVE FASTER!"
Written for the 'What if'? challenge and my prompt was 'what if teaching at Hogwarts was community service given to prisoners on parole?'. Thus this was born.
A lot of my ideas were taken from the lovely Falmouth Falcons, so this is dedicated to you crazy loves. Rabastan sends his love. And cake. You have Lucius though so I'm sure you'll be fine until I return Rabby.
I don't own Harry Potter.