Title: Four Hours

Author: Sara

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

A/N: Okay this fic is in response the wonderful 2-hour Law and Order: Criminal Intent movie, In the Wee Small Hours. Actually, it is more in response to that beautiful, spectacular performance delivered by Kathryn Erbe. All I can say is, someone give her an award. God, she was perfect…

I hope I didn't screw it up that much. BTW, this was un-beta-ed. So, on with the show.

I should be shot.

Four words resounded through Alex Eames' head for four hours straight. She sat in one place, not moving, for four hours.

They had solved the case and Alex got her last bit of snark in before her and her partner went to tackle the mountain of massacred trees that was their paperwork.

It took all of five minutes of sitting across from her weary partner to invoke the waves of guilt and anguish that proceeded to wash over her small, tired body.

She stood up suddenly, causing Bobby's head to snap up. Unconsciously, she threw down her pen and raced towards the ladies' room, where she threw up the contents of her stomach.

As she rinsed out her mouth with water, she realized the she could not go back to her desk; she could not face him. She ran out of the bathroom to the stairs. In her four-inch heels, she climbed down the stairs at a breakneck speed; running from the demons that plagued her.

Alex flew through the lobby and out the doors, cold winds slapping her face with stinging aftermath.

She wandered around TriBeCa, head down, arms wrapped around her tiny frame. She only looked up when someone bumped into her. "Sorry," barely registered in her mind as she became aware of where her treacherous sub-conscious lead her.

The courthouse, in all its marble glory, stared back at her.

Tears welled up in her eyes as the events of the day came back at her. She walked up the marble steps and through the doors of the place that used to bring the word justice to mind. The words it was associated with right now went something along the lines of deception, agony, and pain.

God, she hated herself.

Flashing her badge and ID at the guards, she headed to the crime scene; the place her partnership was murdered.

The courtroom she had testified in was currently empty. It would stay that way until eight AM the next morning, when crime and punishment would fill the air once again. For now, however, it served as her mental prison and torture chamber.

She took the stand, much unlike the way she approached it earlier today. Previously, she walked up with confidence radiating from every pore in her body. Now, Alex took the stand as a woman whose heart was shredded into a million pieces.

She sat down, eyes on the invisible witnesses. Her brown orbs focused specifically on the spot her partner was sitting in. Alex could vividly recall the face Bobby had on throughout the course of her damning testimony.

Thinking of the pain so obviously felt by her partner, Alex choked on a sob that caught in her throat. At long last, Alex's catharsis overwhelmed her. She laid her head on the stand and cried.

That was four hours in the past. She ran out of tears a long time ago. She took up the activity of staring at a ridge in the wood the stand was made of.

"Detective Goren…bad judgment…do not trust…"

Mentally, she winched.

I should be shot.

Without warning, the silence of the courtroom was shattered with the creaking of the swinging doorway. Alex looked up to see Bobby Goren walk into the room she so affectingly dubbed the "Commonroom of Torment." His coat draped over his left arm, his right arm cradling the leather portfolio he carried around everywhere he went.

His chocolate eyes sought out hers.

"I am an acquired taste."

No way was she ever going to look him in the eyes again. She looked down, head hanging in shame.

Bobby was not going to be derailed that easily. He walked over to the prosecution table, his size 13 shoes making no noise as they glided over the marble tiles. He placed his coat on the seat Carver occupied that afternoon. He gently placed his portfolio on the table. Bobby turned to her, body slightly leaning on the table, hands folded over his chest.

"Detective Alexandra Eames, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

Alex could have sworn she got whiplash from the sheer speed at which her head shot up. Her partner had a passive look upon his face.

"Wha-what?" was her timid reply.

"Detective, you must swear an oath before answering any questions on the witness stand. It's elementary, or did you skip that class in the Academy?" he answered, head tilted, an amused half grin on his face.

Alex tried reading his eyes; tried to get some insight on the thoughts that seemed to have taken Bobby's rational side hostage.

For the first time in five years she couldn't.

This is really happening. The bond we once shared is gone, severed completely.

"Yes, I swear," Alex answered with all the courage she could muster.

"How long were you partnered with Detective Robert Goren?"

What the…"Five years."

"In those five years, have you gathered personal information about each other?" he asked, uncrossing his arms, moving from the prosecution table to the jury box.

Her eyes followed him, "Yes."

"What sorts of things? Give examples."

Okay. "I learned he has friends all over the place, most of them quirky and special." She smiled at the memory of the first time she met Lewis. "I've also discovered that he can read and speak German and Russian. He learned these languages from the time he spent in the Army. He hates art that is 'too pretty' and prefers pieces that can get people thinking." Alex saw a flash of a smile cross Bobby's face at the mention of one of their more amusing conversations.

"My partner has an obsession with classic cars and enjoys playing with toy models. He reads a lot and owns almost every book he ever read. I believe that he is also a lapsed alter boy." Bobby smiled.

"It's clear that you have learned a lot about each other. Do you think he learned this much about you?"

"I believe that would call for hearsay, Counselor." She smiled slightly.

Bobby's face broke into an all out grin. "Evidently, you didn't skip that many days in the Academy."

Alex smiled a little more. Realization of what she was doing hit her and she bit her lip and looked down.

"Have you acquired any information regarding his family?" His expression turned back to the slightly amused serious it was set at before.

She gulped, "Yes." Bobby, please don't go there.

"Tell me about them."

Oh crap. I could plead the fifth, but that would make it worse.

"His father was a drunk and he cheated on his mother a lot. Brandon Goren left his family when his youngest son was eleven years old." Venom seeped into her words unintentionally. God, she hoped Bobby's dad was burning in hell right now. The only person she hated more than herself right now was his father. He abandoned his sick wife and two boys, one who became the great man before her.

But then again, I almost abandoned Bobby, as well. Doesn't that make me just as bad as him?

One lone tear rolled down her porcelain cheek. A handkerchief came into her field of vision. Her eyes followed the handkerchief to the hand that was holding it; to the arm the hand connected to; to the body that was attached to the arm. She looked up to the face of her concerned partner.

She accepted the handkerchief, whispering her gratitude. Alex didn't use it, however, choosing instead to trace the initials embroidered with blue thread, contrasting the bright white of the cotton fabric.

She took in a deep breath, "His mother is schizophrenic. Her curent place of residence is Carmel Ridge, a psychiatric home located upstate. He visits her every Saturday and calls her everyday. He has a very close relationship with her because he had to take care of her ever since his father left." She paused.

After a beat, " May I remind you that you swore to tell the whole truth?" He pushed her gently, head bent, trying to capture her eyes. She averted his gaze by closing her eyes and turning her head towards the judge's bench, her face one of anguish.

"He also has a brother who suffers from a gambling addiction." Damn it.

"He has had a pretty hard life wouldn't you agree?"

She nodded, eyes still tightly shut. "Yes." Of course she would. His life was a living hell.

"Have you ever pitied him?" Her head spun in his direction, eyes opening.

"No," she answered forcefully, "Never. Pity is reserved for weak people that use it to get ahead in life. Bobby never ever needed help getting ahead and overcoming obstacles. He is a smart, kind, strong man who is the definition of integrity and diligence." She referred to him using his name. That was the first time either of them called him by name.

Bobby seemed unfazed, "You obviously care about your partner."

"I do," she confirmed.

"Five years ago, you put in a request for a new partner?" he inquired, as if this was the first time he heard of it.

Goddamn the day I learned how to write. "Yes," she replied, her voice cracking slightly.

"Why?" he asked, wearing a face he reserved for suspects. The I-am-dumb-trust-me face.

She recoiled, "I-I was stupid. I-I didn't get him right away. It took time for me to understand and I didn't try hard enough." Her head dropped again.

"If you had the chance to go back in time, what would you do?" A peculiar question passed from his lips.

Alex watched him leaning on the prosecution table, arms crossed, head tilted, eyebrow raised. Okay, we'll play it your way. "I would slap my past self, take the letter, and run."

"I wouldn't recommend that course of action," he said, eyes filled with mirth.

"Why not?" she asked, incredulous.

"What would you think if you saw yourself slapping, well, yourself? You would think you've gone mad. You wouldn't understand, you might even attack your self." He grinned his boyish grin.

"What the hell?" She was way past confused. Then, it hit her. "Bobby," she yelled, "Now is not the time to quote Harry Potter!" Alex smiled at the absurdity of the situation.

He laughed. He threw back his head and actually laughed. Bobby clapped his hands together in delight, face beaming. Alex's heart soared at the sight.

"I knew you would get it!" He was still chuckling.

She got it. Maybe the bond was not completely detached. Hope sprung in her heart.

She grinned. Time to finish the game. "I don't think this is proper courtroom conduct, Counselor."

He immediately sobered up, though a smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. "Yes, forgive me, Detective. How long did it take you to withdraw your request?"

She smiled inwardly. This is the only part of the whole situation that I am actually proud of. "Four hours."

Bobby's eyes widened slightly, shocked at the short period of time it took her to recant her application.

"What changed your mind?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"It was more a change of heart," Alex replied, love creeping in her voice.

His eyes softened, taken over by the same emotion. "Thank you, Detective. No further questions."

There was another meaning behind those words and she knew it. He was thanking her for staying and pleading with her to bury this past indiscretion and be done with it.

As Alex steeped down from the stand, she felt a huge weight being lifted from her heart. The burden she carried for five years shed and left on that witness stand.

He walked to meet her halfway between the prosecution table and the seat she had occupied. Bobby opened his arms and she threw herself into his chest, sobbing with relief.

She wrapped her arms around his waist whilst he tightened his hold on her, pulled her closer, completely engulfing her in his massive bulk.

Bobby placed a delicate kiss atop her head and whispered in her hair, "Thank you for staying."

She pulled back from him, wiped her eyes. Alex craned her neck to look up in his eyes. "There never was any other choice," she said, invoking a smile from him.

"Do you want to come over for pizza and a movie?" he asked tentatively.

"Depends," she said with a sly smile, "What movie?"

"You know, I've heard that you didn't see the latest Harry Potter movie."

She hung her head in mock shame, "Yes, its true."

"What an outrage! It's been out for a year!" he yelled, mirth present in every word. "We must do something about that immediately."

"Let's go then." She ran ahead, tugging his arm in a child-like manner. "I heard that Hermione punched Malfoy."

"Hold on, hold on. Some of us are old," he joked.

Alex grinned and played along. "Bob-by," she whined, bouncing up and down excitedly, pulling his arm out of its socket.

He laughed, let go of her arm, and ran to the doors. Bobby looked back and yelled, "Last one to the SUV is a Hufflepuff!"

Her jaw dropped as he took off. She ran behind him, "Bobby, you cheated! You have longer legs than I do!" She stopped, hands on her hips. "Bobby, no way in hell am I a Hufflepuff." She resumed her pursuit, laughing.

Their laughter echoed through the courthouse and filled the usually stoic atmosphere with fun.

Everything was okay again.

END

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