Author's note: I was bored, and this random drabble kept resurfacing in my head, so… congratulations. I wanted to kind of explain my theory on why Crowfeather and Nightcloud got together, and this is my roundabout way of explaining it…
Darkness
When I followed Deadfoot's message, met at Fourtrees that night, slipping out of camp, my feet padding as softly as I could manage, I never expected the heartache that came out of it.
First, there was the loneliness, being stuck with those cats, none of them from my Clan and none of them fond of me (Not that I can blame them). Then, there was that beautiful she-cat. Silver and sleek, kind and calm, I can't imagine why that other tom, Brambleclaw, couldn't pad after her as hard as I did. Well, I guess he was preoccupied with that apprentice, Squirrelpaw. Stormfur, now I was pretty sure he had a crush on her as well. But luckily, we never had to sit through some kind of fight between them, as the gray tom lost that crush immediately, evidently seeing that he had no chance. I'm surprised I even remembered that, really, because my eyes, cold and unfriendly, as they always have been, looked only at Feathertail, trained on her the entire journey. When I learned that she loved me as well, my heart leaped as high as the hawks flying above the snow-covered mountains. I didn't even mind that pest of a tom, always butting in and complaining about us. Jealous, because he was the only one alone now, I guess. I don't know why he didn't at least try for Tawnypelt's attention… A "good little tom," I guess, contented to stay away from the cats in other Clans. Despite him, I loved Feathertail more than anything, never distracted, and when she fell it was like my world had been torn in two, and nothing else existed.
Still, the three cats left were able to drag me back to WindClan. I don't really see the point, even now, for StarClan knows I would have been happy to kill myself then. That was, coincidentally, when I first laid eyes on Leafpaw, the ThunderClan medicine cat apprentice. She wasn't so openly beautiful like Feathertail, but she had an aura floating around her, shrouded in the scent of innocence. I ignored it—after all, it was rare to find a she-cat classified as "ugly," wouldn't I see every cat that way?—and continued on, leading my Clan back towards the mountains, keeping my heart firmly shut as to not let any feelings leak out.
She didn't think I saw her, looking at me over the cliff, but I did. I had heard Crag's voice from inside the cave, and now I was most definitely aware of her presence. I could feel her pity as her gaze drifted over me and I was hit with an overwhelming feeling, somewhere between sorrow and shame. I wasn't supposed to be moping, I was supposed to be helping WindClan, but to tell the truth that was the second time of my life that I felt I could simply throw myself off of the mountain and not feel a single regret. Not feel a thing.
The feeling loomed all off the way to our new territory, and I only felt miserable as WindClan settled into their new home, unsure of themselves but always optimistic. That was probably when Nightcloud, that she-cat, started padding after me, but naturally I wasn't the least bit interested. Angry, more like it. I snapped at her about it once on a hunting patrol, and then, to make my point, stormed off. Yes, off. Off of my territory. Into ThunderClan territory. That was when I could hear battle.
I ran back to inform Onestar (He was the leader at that point) and he ordered me to lead him there. I thought that that was the most pointless thing I had ever heard—He knew the way to the ThunderClan camp!—but did so anyways, patiently waiting for him and a group of warriors, Nightcloud included to the battle.
It was ShadowClan, attacking ThunderClan. I threw myself into the battle instinctively, though in truth I was never really fond of ThunderClan. Somehow I found myself by the medicine cat's den, and there was Leafpaw, terrified, about to fall a good six fox-lengths to the earth. At first I was only reminded of Feathertail, of what had happened when she fell. It was true, I had always been fond of Leafpaw, and not just in a friendly way. (For one, I never was friendly.) But then, as her paws slipped, and she let out a pitiful wail, I grabbed her. And we were both safe. At least for now.
I loved her, and luckily, she loved me back. Things went well, for a while. Forbidden love or not, it wasn't all that hard. But then we ran away, met Midnight… to this day I wish I had ignored the badger's warning. Let WindClan fall, it's not as if I would have been that much help to them anyways. They were already winning. But Leafpaw—now Leafpool—wanted to go back. Obviously, this journey would have been a useless one alone, and so I followed her back. Cinderpelt, her mentor, died. The camp was in chaos. Everything was ruined…
Now my mate is Nightcloud, the pesky she-cat who had always had a crush on me. I do love her, but not as much as I did Leafpool or Feathertail. Breezepaw too. And, the best part, it will never be left in darkness. Not like Feathertail, with her heroic fall. Not like Leafpool, with painful goodbyes. I was determined for my path to stay light.