This fic is for ficathon Then There's Us : Challenge 82.

I choose phoenikx's s prompt which is :

Nine/Rose - Outsider POV fic - Any Rating

There can never be enough fic that tells us about their relationship from a third point of view!

I hope she'll like it !

Author : Sydney Carter

Disclaimer : Not mine !

N/A : I'm french and I writing in english. Please, be fair !

What ? Who dares at this hour ? Oi blondie ! It's only three am ! People are supposed to be sleeping at this hour. I can't believe it. Can't you seat elsewhere ? I'm working all day, me. And not since yesterday if I may say so. I would like a bit more respect in my old days. I swear, people do not respect anything nowadays..

Wait a minute, I'm sure I do not know this one. A bit curvy but firm. Its owner practice everyday, I'm sure. Or she runs a lot. I heard when you run a lot, the bottom is advantaged... Not that I take any interest in these discussions..

The owner is female, obviously. She is wearing a denim'.. If the bottom was not so firm, I'd swear she was from the last century. Maybe it's the new trend.. Not that it's any of my business... Or maybe she was at a party. A sort of fancy-dress-but-you-can-wear-denim'-party. I hope she is the only one here. I do not want a whole bunch of party animals, as they call them, all over me. This is not what I'm here for...

But I don't know her. Nope, never saw her in my life. I hope she won't linger. Do not want to be awaken every night by a bottom too curvy to be honest.

I hope she is not drunk. With my luck, she'd throw up on me. Last time it happened, Charly spent three hours washing me. Then he came back and paint me in green.. Like his eyes.. Erm.. Not that I really needed to be paint again, but God, it's good to feel pretty again.. I like Charly. He is the new steward. And he is from Scotland. So he is charming. Not that I take any interest in him.. But you know, he always take care of me and treat me like a queen. And his bottom is a piece of art, too. Not that I look more than any other bench. It's just, you know, simple curiosity towards another species which happens to be male.. Call that anthropology.

Wait... I think I just heard her. Is she … Oh no, she is crying. Don't cry please. I promise, I won't say that your bottom is too curvy to be honest anymore. Your bottom is great really. Very nice. Very bottom-ish. Stop please, I 'm begging you. You'll make me cry too. And I'm worse than a fountain you know. And there is know way stopping me before hours. Please.

Ok, listen to me, we'll sort it out; I'm very good to sort out human's issues.

It's a man, isn't it ? Of course it's a man. Who comes here crying after midnight, in a park, because the goldfish run away with the neighbour's cat ?

Okay so.. Did he leave you ? Did he.. forget the anniversary of your second date ? Oh wait.. I think I know these tears. Yep, that's it. He doesn't know, does he ? It's one of these relationship you think he doesn't love you as much as you do. Don't worry sweetie, you're not alone. I know the feeling. He is a loner and you're a charming young lady. You make him smile once and then you're the best friends in the universe. One day he looks at you with his great green eyes.. well, if they're green obviously. They can be brown or blue, it doesn't really matter, does it ? Anyway, he looks at you and you just know. And maybe he does too, but let's be honest. He is too much of an idiot to say anything. Speaking of the devil...

Oh dear ! Look at him ! Naughty girl ! You didn't say he was hot. With blue eyes and all. Did I tell you I have a preference for blue-eyed men ? Sorry Charly. Oh my ! Did you see his bottom ? I'm telling you, this one runs a lot. Even Charly and his piece-of-art-arse cannot stand the comparison. And believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Oh, come on. Don't look at me like that. I see the behind of people every single day. And on Christmas too. So, if I may say so, I'm totally aware of the bottom trend. And no, I protest, I am not a nymphomaniac. I have feelings too.

Wait.. He is making a move. He is taking your hand. Aw, he is a cutie this one, isn't 'he ? Come on, look at him, he apologizes. Believe me, when a guy like that says sorry, he means it. Isn't it true you're apologising because you hurt her ? Because I'm telling, this girl, she loves you. Don't stare at me like that. It's true. Look at her. You really think a girl like her would cry like that if she did not love you ? And do not even think talking about friendship. It's love. End of conversation.

Aaaaw, isn't it adorable. I love a good happy end. Even if it always makes me cry. And this one has obviously read his How to Kiss in fifty lessons. Yep, he knows his way around. I'm almost envious. Maybe I am.. A little. Or a lot, who cares ? You can't stop someone from being admirative, can you ?

However, if you two could, erm, continue your happy end elsewhere, it would be nice... Not that I would say no if you want me to see that amazing behind in its natural state... That's what I thought... Oi ! Don't leave like that ! You could say thanks !

Do not matter.. I'm sure he was not that good. Even if he was a good kisser. And even if he had an amazing arse...

Gosh, it sucks to be a bench !

A few hours later, in the Doctor's room...

_ And Rose, please, don't go and seat on a telepathic bench again. This one was clearly a nymphomaniac.

The End