Rick Flag was standing on top of the white house, he was supposed to be on watch for the terrorists that attacked Midpoint way whatever city. Unfortunately, he was being distracted by the enchantress, as he was currently planting his flagpole deep inside of her fertile ground. He did not notice as the leader of the terrorists, Red Skull was sneaking up too him. Red Skull was about to shot him, but Rick Flag noticed and dived towards him, but it was too late. The red skull fired, but he missed and shot the enchantress.
Rick flag knocked the minigun out of Red Skull's hands and shot him in his legs. He looked upon the dead love of his life and thought to himself oh well can't be helped I suppose.
He turned towards red skull and said
You are going to have to take her place.
Now I will not say the red skull, what about the genitive convention.
Consider it revoked said Rick Flag as he moved to plant his flag upon the untamed lands of the Red skull.
I claim this territory for America he said, as he showed the flag down.
Red Skull screamed as his territory was claimed and made into yet another US territory.
Rick Flag then turned towards Lady Liberty, who was visiting Washington to see the Lincoln Memorial, and saluted her, whilst calming wild territory.
Nick Flag was then awarded the Medal of Honor, for his great performance and sacrifice. Nick Flag then realized that he was running out of drumsticks just like America was running out of oil and hope.
How will I get my drumsticks without oil, how will America get by without hope? He then shed a single tear and decided to invade the Red Skull again to claim his oil.
This will save America he screamed, call a press conference right now!
The press gathered to hear his words of wisdom.
My fellow Americans, it is I your favorite hero Rick Flag.
Oh my god it is Rick Flag, they shouted back whilst taking pictures.
Yes please contain thy excitement. I have found the solution to America's energies crisis.
What should we do, asked the crowd hanging onto his every word.
We must create a Suicide Squad to resurrect the enchantress and claim her oil for America.
That doesn't make any sense, said the Senate.
How will we afford this, asked Congress?
It is simple, he said, I have a friend called Captain Boomerang, he will give us the money.
Wait what? Said the Senate, like the collective hive mind that they are.
USA, said Rick Flag waving his American flag, whilst also waving another flag. This had the side-effect of rotating Red Skull like a helicopter. Unfortunately, this caused Rick Flag to take flight. Thus Rick Flag flew too far and they had to entrust Amanda Waller to get his idea of a suicide squad.
The end.