Not my characters, i'm only a fan writer! I own nothing but a very beat up car!
This disregard anything that occured in book five and book six (except for the formation of the DA)
Hiding Behind This Mask
Draco looked at the mirror that was currently facing the wall and sighed. He never wanted to see himself again. He couldn't bear to face what he had become, and see the scars that he had made many years ago on his right arm.
Years ago, when he was seventeen he had laughed at the thought of fallowing the same path as his father. He, he was sure, would never need to follow a madman to be respected.
Yet here he was with the mark that made it known to everyone who he was linked with. It didn't matter that he had accepted only after every other option had been closed on him. It all stemmed from the untimely death of the one person that had shown him any compassion in all his life.
He had believed in the strength of this person, in his inability to give up, it had filled Draco with courage to defy his upbringing and his father. Yet here he was ten years later serving the madman people feared to name and considered a cruel scheming bastard.This was very far from the rose tinted future he had envisioned.
It was incredible how in one instant everything can change. Harry had mentioned that he'd been having a constant headache and neck stiffness for a while, but he figured that it was nothing important. He didn't want to be in the infirmary yet again so he told Draco not to worry. One moment they were sharing a mug of butterbeer down in the Hogwarts kitchen, and then Harry had slid from his chair onto the floor.
Draco himself felt himself detached from what was happening. He couldn't recall what he did in that moment when he saw Harry fall. It all seemed like a horrible dream. The week that followed where it had been announced that Harry had died of a rupture of a blood vessel that was weak due to a cerebral anuerysm and the consequent burial were a blur of sound and color without any cohesion. Even now Draco couldn't recall anything that happened during that week and following months.
Everyone in the wizarding world with the exception of Ron and Hermione had blamed Draco for Harry's death even though he couldn't have done anything to prevent it. There were whisperings that Draco had cursed Harry somehow, betraying the trust that Harry had bestowed on him. Draco had felt like yelling and screaming and telling them to stop being so Bloody Stupid! Harry had been the reason for his contacting Dumbledore to tell him everything he knew of his Father's death eater activities. Harry had sought him out and tried to make friends with him. Harry had said he understood what it was to be mistreated and beaten by family. They had become friends and a short while later Hermione and Ron (after constant prodding by his friends) had accepted him into their friendship. He would never have betrayed Harry who had not laughed when he had confessed his feelings for him, but had frankly told him that he returned those feelings. They had never acted on the feelings because they didn't want to ruin a good friendship because of lust, they had been planning on continuing being friends and figuring out if this was love and not something resulting from a mutual loneliness and need for affection.
After Harry's death Draco joined Voldemort's deatheater ranks as a spy for Dumbledore. Dumbledore would have preferred that he do something else, but Draco couldn't find any other way of being useful to the cause Harry had fought for. Ron and Hermione were the only members of the Order besides Albus who knew who their anonymous informer was.
Joining Voldemort's ranks was the hardest thing Draco had to do in his life, it meant hiding his feelings and his real values beneath a mask once again. After three years of being able to express himself going back to his family's patented Malfoy mask of indifference grated against his soul. Every time he heard the tortured cries of muggles, and saw their lifeless bodies a piece of himself was lost. He had caused pain and killed an inordinate amount of people, he feared that one day he would cease to feel, he was afraid that one day he would be able to take a life and see nothing wrong. But nonetheless he continued to go through with voldmeort's evil plans he could continue to relay them to Dumbledore.
He wasn't naive in thinking that when this was over he would be welcomed into wizarding society, he's probably be sent to Askaban. Once upon a time he would have been afraid of that place, but not now because he was already living an internal hell, and besides the dementors would not be guarding the prison anymore because of their defection to Lord Voldemort's side. It would be infinite times better to be locked up than have to face the families of those he had a hand in killing. He would never ask for forgiveness because he didn't deserve to be forgiven, he had caused too much pain to a lot of people and he deserved their hatred. He would stay in the prison for as long as his life would last and he would not try to escape, then if God was willing he would see Harry once more before descending into hell.