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We understand Death for the first time when he puts His hand upon one whom we love. ~ Madame de Stael
Chapter 1 – The Hand of Death
Death is a messy thing. It may leave some to quietly mourn, while others scramble for the empty tokens of those departed they deem as theirs and still others find themselves at a loss. Eileen was none of those. She knew exactly what she wanted; she wanted her father back. She wanted him back just as desperately as she wanted her mother, dead six years now, to rise from the grave. But with the grace that had come from loosing one parent she moved on. When she walked, she did it slowly with her head low and her mouth shut, most days however, she could only lay quietly in her bed. But this day, an unassuming Monday morning that was bright and calm, she had gotten up early. James O'Neil had died, was in need of a burial and so today was his funeral.
"I'm simply stating that we can't take her, she's unmanageable. God, just look at her, she's a bloody mess. She started acting like this months before James died. It's either you take her home or she's carted off to a boarding school. Once she's eighteen she can fend for herself," Charles stared down at April. She was at a loss for words, who knew her brother's step-son had such a ruthless side to him. The young man in question stood in front of her somewhat nervously; as though he were afraid she might make a scene and yell at him. Though she was angry enough to throttle the college sophomore, she had more tact than he appeared to have.
"Charles, is this also your mother's wish?" April nodded towards the wisp of a woman sitting in the pew closest to the casket. The petite, blonde woman with a harsh angular face looked like anything might set her into hysterics. From her seat next to the window, April could just barely catch sight of their topic of conversation. A slip of a sixteen year old with the O'Neil red hair and a thread-bareness about her that April didn't recall.
"Yes, in fact it was Mother who has insisted upon Eileen leaving the house. We're all just trying to move on from the tragedy and the girl is just holding us all back," Charles' Bostonian accent sounded foreign as he tried to be diplomatic. But to April's ears the longer the young man went on the stupider he became. April had never liked her brother's new family and thought they were selfish people but never believed that they would stoop so low as to throw out a young, grieving girl. She was thankful that she had already made her decision. She raised her hand to stop Charles before he could continue on his retched diatribe.
"I think it would be best if Eileen came and lived with me. How soon can we have her things ready to be moved?" April couldn't imagine how the poor girl must feel; she should be able to hear the conversation as Charles was making no effort to keep quiet.
Charles couldn't believe his luck. He raised an elegant eyebrow at April; she had agreed to take the child off their hands much easier than he would have thought. His mother, Charissa, had wanted to send her to a boarding school the moment that she and James O'Neil had been married. Unfortunately, the man had had a soft spot for the girl. She had been spoiled completely and was considered an embarrassment to Charissa's side of the family. For this reason, Charissa was willing to have Eileen sent off to an expensive school out of state, but now that the aunt would take her in they wouldn't be financially accountable for her. Charles nearly smiled with glee when the short, red-haired, newscaster agreed. He glanced at her "date", a stocky, shabbily dressed man with long mousy hair who was attempting to talk with his step-sister.
"Her things are already packed, clothes, furniture and such. We were ready to send her off to a boarding school for the summer months. However the destination can be changed easily. We would like for her to finish the last week at Milton, as it is paid for. I think it would be the best thing to not upset her schedule too much," Charles attempted to add concern to his voice as April nodded impatiently.
"I believe the service is starting, we'll discuss this later," April stated curtly before striding over to where Casey sat next to her young niece. She slid in close to her boyfriend who discreetly clasped his hand in hers before whispering in her ear.
"She's not very talkative, but seems like a good enough kid," he indicated the redhead to his other side. The girl's face was covered by her long curtain of hair but April could tell that she was listening to Casey. She leaned forward and placed a hand past Casey and onto Eileen's hand. The girl looked up; her eyes a little shiny, and nodded to April before looking away and at the priest performing the service. The tall man began his deep intonations while the gatherers listened intently.
Eileen, however, only listened half heartedly; her attention was mostly focused on her step-mother. The woman had gone to full lengths in the portrayal of the grieving widow. Charissa wore a new black pencil dress and a black wool jacket with a long veil that was eerily reminiscent of Jackie O during the funeral of J.F.K. Eileen was thankful that she had stopped short of the pert pillbox hat. Her step-mother wiped her eyes with a crisp white handkerchief, her glossy ebony gloves staying flawlessly dry. As the pallbearers were asked to stand Eileen came out of her revelry and went to stand in front of her Aunt April, Charles on her opposite side and her father's lawyer, Phil Fitzgerald behind her step-brother while his other business partners and friends filled the rest of the positions. They all paused to slip on the white gloves and at a nod from the priest they all picked up the heavy casket.
With slow, deliberate steps they carried the coffin down the narrow aisle, the funeral attendees standing in respect as they passed. Like a queen with her head held high, Charissa lead the pallbearers out of the stone church and towards the shining hearse. Once the casket was safely loaded Charles and Charissa gracefully made their way to a stretch limo, Charles seemingly supporting his mother by a dainty elbow. Eileen paused for a moment before sullenly following her step-family to the vehicle. Once inside the door shut hard next to her and made her jump slightly.
"Eileen, I appreciate that you have had the proper amount of decorum to act in a mature way about going to live with your Aunt. I truly had not expected it of you, with your behavior as of late. I had actually thought you would have made some sort of outburst while Charles spoke with her. And do not deny that you were listening to them; I know you're nothing more than a little snoop," Charissa's whole demeanor had changed once the car had begun moving. The perfectly schooled look of grief had disappeared and she now glared down her slim nose at the girl by the door. Eileen looked up into the cold, blue eyes of the woman, her own green ones blazing with indignation. But she remained silent only gracing the elder woman with a nod and clasped her gloved hands tightly in her lap. Charissa snorted delicately at the lack of response and turned her attention to her beloved son.
"You see, Charles, no respect. I give her a complement and she doesn't even think to thank me. This is why I can not handle her impertinence any longer," She frowned at Eileen before patting Charles' hand. "She didn't have the benefit of a firm hand, like you, growing up. I guess coming from Massachusetts farmer stock one can only expect so much."
While he had been alive, Jim O'Neil had laughed at such spiteful remarks as jokes. But Eileen always saw them for what they were, direct insults. The man wasn't even in the ground yet and she had begun disparaging him. Eileen sat, clenching her jaw silently, as the two continued speaking irreverently about her late father. The limo rolled to a gentle stop and Eileen, who just had had enough of their step-family's offensive diatribe, jumped out of the car before the driver could properly open the door.
"I hope that the two of you are happy with your new life as I will be with mine," She spat at them in a low voice before making her way to the hearse and her Aunt. The two looked fairly scandalized as Charles helped his mother out of the limo and her face took on her previous melancholy. The six pallbearers lifted the coffin and wordlessly took it to the mechanism that would lower it into the ground. The same priest that had presided over the service at the church was now reciting blessings as the small group of about twenty mourners stood in the shimmering sunlight of early summer. Once the priest had finished the pallbearers all tossed their gloves into the grave. They landed squarely onto the glossy, chestnut coffin. Eileen paused, closing her eyes with a deep breath to push back the tears that threatened her, before she dropped her own gloves onto the casket.
*
Going back to Milton Academy as though nothing had happened, as though her father hadn't died and her step-mother hadn't kicked her out of her home, was far more difficult than she thought. Though she wasn't well liked by her prep-school peers, she still didn't enjoy the feeling of being even more of a pariah than before. Milton Academy was a highly exclusive school with a small collection of the richest offspring of Massachusetts' best; a place where every family knows the business of every other family. It was much akin to living in a small town as word traveled fast. The last week back had been filled with packing her remaining personal items, refining final papers and taking final exams. While this left little room for anxiety Eileen still found some time before her ballet final to wonder what her life would be like living with her journalist Aunt. She had seen the woman only a handful of times since her father's second marriage and Eileen thought that her step-mother might have had much to do with that, since Charissa was not the most welcoming woman. The girl couldn't stop wondering where she would go to school in New York; would she go to public school or another private school?
"Yes, I heard that Eileen wouldn't be back next year. Rumor is that Madam Charissa finally threw her out. Of course, it's true, I heard it from Janice who heard it from their cook," a snide voice came from the opposite end of the room. Eileen lifted her head to see Mary, a skinny blonde with curly hair, talking loudly to a small group of girls.
"Well, I heard that Ellie chose to go live with her aunt in New York. Where else would the best actress and dancer at Milton go, Mary? New York or L.A. is where ya' go ta make it big," Ailani said, her dark eyes holding no malice. Eileen's only friend at Milton, a lanky, Hawaiian girl who towered over her, now stood at the bar facing her as they warmed up together. Eileen mouthed a thanks as the ballet exam began with each student's solo. However Mary did not stop her taunts, whispering them in Eileen's ears.
"What dance will you being doing, Eileen? Hopefully not one of those silly numbers you've made up in your dorm room, they are so dreadfully dull," But Eileen tried to ignore her hoping everything would go well. Each student covered their prescribed steps, but placed little passion into the movements. Mary, her honey colored hair plaited down her back, took a high leap to end her test with a flourish, but it hadn't been in her normal routine and she stretched out her leg too far to land it safely. Ellie saw it in slow motion and almost relished the thud of the overly skinny girl hitting the floor in a tangle of limbs. She gasped with the rest of the students but Ailani and Ellie remained in their seats while the other classmates crowded around the fallen girl. They could hear her crying, and Ailani rolled her eyes. Drama Queen, she mouthed to Ellie who tried to hide a smirk.
The ballet instructor, an aging prima ballerina from Germany, instructed two girls who had already finished their exams to aid "Fraulein St. Claire" to the infirmary. Ailani stood to do her solo with one curt nod from Frau Ida. The olive-skinned girl danced to the best of her ability, her arms bent slightly too low, her head held not quite high enough and her almond shaped eyes moving wildly to watch her pacing instead of calmly forward. Eileen always thought that Ailani would have been such a beautiful dancer if she had only let go, let herself be free in her movements, and simply danced. But the Island girl was so stiff and petrified of making a mistake that it caused her to come up lacking in performance. The soft lilting tones from the CD player stopped moments after Ailani ended en Pointe with her left leg stretched far behind her. Her chin was proudly high and her arms in a willowy curve above her head. She looked perfect and Eileen held her breathe as Frau Ida told the girl all she had done incorrectly, but this time around the good had outweighed the bad and Ailani had passed with high marks. The girl grinned at her as they traded spots and Eileen switched the CD to a black disc with spiraling white lettering.
The music started with piano and the soft voice of a young woman. Eileen began stepping forward en Pointe, her arms above her as though she were holding a large invisible ball. Then just as she bunched her energy into a high leap the soft music changed to electric guitars and a heavy bass line. She landed into a roll then stood quickly. She danced with bursts of energy and a passion that the other girls had lacked. Her choreography took not only from ballet but jazz, theater and to Frau Ida's chagrin cabaret. It may not have been exactly what was prescribed but it was fun to watch as the singing reached a fevered pitch so did Eileen's speed. The girl ended the dance, the song echoing its last word, on one knee with the other stretched out in the splits in front of her. Her back was arched and her hands seemed to be grasping at some unknown object behind her.
"Fraulein O'Neil, I wish to see you in my office." Ailani glanced nervously at her as she stood and followed the ballet mistress into the small office. "Eileen, do not have any worries, you passed your exam without flaw. You did all of the moves I asked for in the dance beautifully as you always do. However I can't be having the younger students know I approve of your style. I don't think I can have everyone trying to be you, I could be fired for not teaching the girls actual ballet,"
"I understand Frau Ida, I'm sorry if I've made anything difficult for you," she stuttered. As the older woman took her seat at her old desk she waved a hand in front of her.
"It is not a problem, the real tragedy here is that I am losing my favorite student. I have very rarely seen someone with your passion, Eileen. I can not have you wasting it because you have no proper teacher in New York. I give you this one gift before you leave," she handed Eileen a manila envelope and a business card. It was simply a name and an address, Monsieur Franz: 1324 Franklin St, New York, NY. Eileen raised an eyebrow of confusion at her ballet mistress who only smiled secretively.
"You mail this and Franz will contact you for an audition in his school. Show him everything you have and your place is assured in Juilliard once you are ready to attend. This is the best I have to give you," At Eileen's mystified nod she began to shoo out the young teen. "Now I believe that Fraulein Hino is waiting outside the door for you." Eileen nodded and left with the odd parting gift from her favorite teacher.
"What was that about?" Ailani asked as they walked back to their dorm rooms.
"She wrote me a letter of recommendation for someone who can help me get into Juilliard," Eileen stated.
"Ellie, that's great," Ailani said stopping the girl to hug her, "I guess I can tell you my news then," she said excitement clouding her voice, "I got accepted to their pre-college program!" she said.
"I knew you'd do it," Eileen said, jumping up and down with her exuberant friend.
"Yeah, I'm changing schools, going to the program on the weekends and living with Maila. She just finished her internship with IBM and they hired her for their New York branch, she's working with some guy named Stockman" she said as the continued back to their rooms, "This is perfect, we'll still be together, unstoppable," she giggled, flopping onto her bed and tossed her pointed shoes in the corner. Eileen smiled, a little sadly, as she hung hers in her closet before sitting cross legged on her own bed. "Ellie, what's wrong?"
"It just that I don't know if my aunt can afford to send me take lessons from someone who sounds so exclusive, if he even likes what he sees," She answered with a shrug.
"I'm sure we'll figure something out, just go to the audition, figure out the money later," Ailani grinned, "It's going to be perfect," she looked over at the somewhat wistful expression of her friend and launched herself onto the opposite bed. Pulling the taller girl into a hug, Ailani forced a smile out of Eileen, "Even if you can't go to Juilliard, we'll still be together forever, remember," she stated extending her pinky to Eileen who shook it with her own.
END of Chapter 1