Vincent stared at me with a disbelieving stare from behind his plain white mug filled with coffee. I didn't blame him. I would have had the same expression on my face if someone you barely knew and not in the kindest way came up to me and asked what I just did. Hell, I would have probably laughed the question off even. But Vincent just stared at me, his deep red eyes staring into my blue ones as if he could read every botch and stain on my soul.

I braced myself for the sight of a gun pointing at me, aimed right between my eyes but it didn't come. Instead he just slowly and silently rested his cup back onto the small table he sat at in Tifa's bar. He then looked at me with that same soul gazing expression and then asked in the same quiet but deep voice he always used.

"Pardon?"

I repeated, "Will you punish me for the sins I have caused yo?"

I continued to sit there on the other side of that table waiting for his reaction. I expected him to get that semi insulted look on his face before telling me to fuck off. Or telling me I needed to go elsewhere for the kinky shit. Which on any normal day would have been what I was aiming for. But not to day. So, I sat there, waiting for his expression to change to either disgust or anger but what I got surprised me. His look of confusion turned gently into a look of understanding. Then he asked the question I hadn't quite expected anyone that knew me to ask.

"Why do you wish for me to punish you Reno?"

I stared in shock for a moment before his words caught up with me. I thought to myself, he was actually asking me why? Why was he asking me….? Then I remembered how reeve often described him when he would go on one of his dreamy rants I usually ignored. It was why he understood and I was suddenly glad that I had chosen him to ask first over Rude.

I bent my head low as the dark memories began to bubble under the surface like a violently shook can of beer. I pushed them down in order to answer him.

"You were once a Turk right?"

He nodded.

"I don't know what it was like before…..well….what happened to ya… But, I know what I have done as a Turk isn't exactly…..great, ya know? When I started, it was a job, good pay, lots of rep with the ladies; it was the life ya know? But…"

"But?"

I sighed. "Maybe it is me getting older or…I have had too much time on my hands lately but I have been thinking back on my life and I have found it a lot darker than I remembered."

My hands began to shake and the glass of whiskey in my hand began to show the little rings through its amber color that signaled movement. I tried to will my hands to stop but they wouldn't listen. The nightmares came back into my mind of the people of sector seven being crushed under the weight of the upper plate. The sound of the screams of those on that plate as it fell began to drown out the drunken laughter and cheers of the customers in the bar. I could feel the burning in my eyes signaling the onset of tears and my throat closing up as it all washed over me.

It was the feeling of cool metal on my skin that pulled me from it. I looked down and Vincent's left hand, shining dimly in the low light of the bar was rested gently on my hand. It grounded me once again and I took another deep and long breath. As I looked back up into his read eyes I could see why Reeve and Cloud always said what a calming presence the gunman had. A guy could fall in love with a man like him. I didn't blame Reeve for snatching him up.

"Are you all right Reno?"

I looked down again, a sad and self-loathing smile crawled across my lips.

"Honestly, no." I took another breath shaky breath, "I have been having nightmares lately."

"Of what?"

"Sector Seven."

"The plate."

"Yeah. At the time I made it seem that I thought nothing of dropping a plate on a part of the slums. I kept telling myself that it was better off that way. They wouldn't have to scrap and fight for food and money. The girls wouldn't have to lose their virginity to fat horn dogs with 100 gill in their pocket…."

My hands started to grip the glass so tight I was almost half expecting it to crack as I continued to spill out my one biggest regret in my life. The one thing that still haunted me.

"But, then I would start thinking, what about those people who lived on the plate? How many families did I destroy by hitting that one button? How many kids sleeping peacefully in their beds did I snuff out? How many loving couples, dogs, high school girls still dreaming of true love did crush beneath all that rubble?"

His human hand joined his left and slowly pulled my hands away from the glass. He gently but firmly held both my hands in his. His eyes were not judging. They did not condemn. They understood. He had been there. He knew.

"It haunts you."

It wasn't a question, like so many others I had tried to tell this too. Like dropping a plate on unsuspecting civilians is just another day at the office, like I was some monster who didn't care. I wasn't a monster. I was just really good at faking it.

I nodded, "Like nothing else. Not even when I had to sell my body so I could buy medicine for my sick mother. I am not a saint yo. Not even close but….I just can't stop thinking about it. I can't get over the fact I did something like that and got away with it. I don't want to get away with it. I don't want it to be okay just because I was doing my job."

Anger was replacing the despair and it made me pull from Vincent's grip and slam my hand against the table.

"It's not okay!"

The outburst brought everybody's attention to our table for a second. I ran my hands through my hair in order to calm myself down, tugging a little at the roots as I did so.

"And you want me to punish you for this? Because I was once a Turk?"

"That and….Reeve won't shut up about his sexy but silent gunman. He told me about you and Lucrecia and how he helped you move on from what happened."

"Ah. He does get quite talkative when he is proud about something." He said with a slight hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Yeah."

He looked at me silently for a moment but his eyes had that glazed over look. It was the kind when someone is in deep thought. When his eyes refocused I knew he had made his decision. I braced myself again for rejection. I mean, this situation could end in any number of bad ways if it was taken the wrong way so I understood if he didn't want to do it. Besides, if I had too I could have used the new version of that love hotel in old sector six. Heard they had just added an S&M wing. But only if I had too. The thought of having someone I hardly knew doing this for me wasn't exactly a comfortable thought.

"I will help you."

It was my time to look confused.

"Wha?"

"I will help you. AS you have mentioned, I have been where you have been. Having someone who can relate to the situation will be better in the long run. I will need some time to prepare."

I nearly cried when his answer sank in. Nearly.

"Thank you Vincent. I will owe you one yo."

"No thanks needed. I will call you when I am finished with preparations."

He then got up, walked to the bar, paid for his coffee in spite of Tifa telling him it was on the house and left without another word. I stared into my glass a few moments mulling over what just happened before slugging it back and walking up to the bar to pay for my earlier meal. Tifa was washing a mug from behind the counter as I handed her the money.

"What was all that about Reno? You not trying to steal Vincent from Reeve are you? Because if you do I will have to kick your ass."

"Nah. He is just helping me with something that's all. It's nothing."

"Didn't sound like nothing Reno."

I looked into her big brown eyes, kind but stern from years running a bar.

"He is helping me with a personal thing that he can relate too. That's it. NO Casanova strategy involved promise."

She stared at me with a similar gaze to Vincent's but not as soul piercing. After a few seconds she sighed.

"All right. I believe you. But remember what I said."

"Cross my heart and hope to die. Besides, I am pretty sure that Vincent would shoot my first if I ever tried. Good Night."

"Good Night."

It was a week later when Vincent had called and laid out the ground rules. He had informed Reeve of course, which I understood, and gave him the coordinates of our location in case something happened. They were both very cautious people and I was thankful for that.

When I got to the old abandoned building on the outskirts of edge I shook with the realization of what I was about to do. Between me and Vincent we had settled upon a flogging as a suitable punishment. I don't mean those softened up leather whips that are meant for kinky nights at home. Vincent had an old fashioned cat of nine tails he had bought for his collection of "The Old Ways" as Reeve called it. I admit I was terrified but I needed to do this.

I pushed open the old doors, a loud creak echoing through the old building. When I stepped in there Vincent stood. He had discarded his cape, leaving him in a black form fitting shirt and matching black jeans. His hair was pulled back revealing all of the features that would make a straight man jump the fence. Next to him was a table that held the whip and a varying supply of first aid supplies for easy access.

IN the middle of the empty metal building sat two metal posts dug deep into the ground. Form the top of those metal posts, a chain was welded which held a leather hoop on each one. They were tall enough to where someone of my height could kneel and the cuffs wouldn't bite into the skin. I took a shaky breath to calm the instinct to run.

"Are you ready Reno?"

My answer came out a lot less confident than I would have liked.

"Yeah."

"Disrobe as I instructed."

I nodded and striped down to just the pair of jeans I had thrown on this morning. They were an old pair with a few holes in the normal places an old pair of jeans would have. They seemed fitting considering.

Once I was done I walked over to the two metal posts. They dirt covered floor hid rocks that pricked my bare feet but I accepted it as part of my punishment. The cool air raised goose bumps on my naked chest but I ignored them. IN this moment, I didn't want to be given any kind of comfort.

Once I reached the posts I began to strap in my wrists. Vincent helped me with the second strap and made sure they were secure before he walked in front of me.

"If it is too much you know the safe word correct?"

"Innocent."

"Good. Are you ready to begin Reno?"

I nodded my head. The change in posture and the leeching of warmth from Vincent's eyes didn't take long. I recognized the mask he put up. I had done the same thing and hid behind a perverted and punk like attitude. I hung my head low as he began to speak.

"Reno of the Turks. You have been accused of Destruction of Public Property and the Murder of Thousands of innocent civilians. How do you plead?"

I listened to him walk behind me and grab the whip off the table. The fear of that weapon made my throat only allow a whisper to come out.

"Guilty."

"Pardon? I didn't hear you."

Crack! The pain of the whip hitting my back made me cry out. It burned through my skin and hit that part of my soul that had buried it deep within me. It was like an old safe door, where the first of the locks were shattered. And there were dozens of them yet to go.

"Guilty." I said again, a little louder this time.

"I'm sorry. I still can't hear you. What do you plead monster?!"

Crack!

"Guilty!"

Another lock shattered. We had agreed on forty lashes, just as in the old days when people still got around on sailing ships. That had been only two and a part of me already wanted to stop. I was scared of what was behind that door. But I had to let it out. It was killing me.

"So, you admit to your sin monster?"

Crack! "Yes!"

Another lock.

"You killed innocent people!"

Crack! And another broke.

"You killed children!"

Crack! And another…

"Yes!"

"You killed mothers!"

Crack! And another…

"Yes!"

"You killed Fathers!"

Crack! And another…

"You killed sons and daughters!"

Crack! Crack!

With each strike another of those locks broke. Each thought, each scream each nightmare was shredded as the leather whip slashed my back again and again. After a while I stopped counting how many times the leather kissed my back. Even after I felt the warmth trickling over my skin that signaled I was bleeding I refused to stop the onslaught. I didn't deserve it.

After a while my sense of time was wiped away. The pain washed out every thought from my brain except my punishment. I could feel my body weaken as it continued and soon if it wasn't for the chains I would have face planted on the floor some time ago. I couldn't remember how long I kneeled there. All I knew was that I was almost to shattering that door deep in myself.

"You don't deserve any mercy!"

Crack! When that last lock broke everything washed out at once. All the nightmares, all the screams and cries of those that had died washed over me. I could see my hand hitting that button over and over again until I couldn't stand it. All the guilt and pain I had carried all these years exploded out of me in one long and painful scream. The scream tore my throat raw, burning to tears accompanying it. I remember breaking into sobs and my body racked with pain form wounds that were physical as well as mental.

I let it out. I let it all out. And it felt better than any amount of sex or booze ever could. I understood now why women cried so much. And I found a newfound respect for them at the same time.

I didn't know how long I hung there, crying, feeling the blood run down my back. I didn't even realize that the whipping had stopped until Vincent knelt in front of me and lifted my chin up to meet his gaze. It was warm this time. It was comforting. It was over.

"Reno?"

"I'm still here."

"Are you all right?"

I thought about it for a moment and searched with n myself. I realized that the pain of all those years ago was gone. The memory was unpleasant still but I had let it go. I felt a lot better. Even despite how much my back killed.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"I believe you."

I watched with blurred vision as Vincent loosened the cuffs and then found out pretty quickly how much of my stability was dependent upon them. Luckily Vincent caught me before I face planted.

With gentleness I didn't expect he walked me over to a small cot he had set up and laid my stomach down onto it. I watched him as he grabbed some antiseptic and bandages to tend to the cuts on my back.

"How bad is it?"

"Not too severe considering you did take all forty lashes from it."

"How many did you get?"

"25. Mainly because Reeve couldn't keep causing me pain no matter how many times I told him I would be healed by the next day."

I laughed and the pain told me it wasn't such a good idea. I was so tired and could feel sleep nagging at me. And Vincent could tell. He leaned forward and laid his hand gently on my shoulder.

"It's all right Reno. Rest Now. I can tend your wounds while you sleep."

I nodded and let my eyes slide shut as he worked on my back. When I woke up again I was still on the cot but my clothes had been put back on and Vincent was packing up everything he had brought with him. The metal posts were still there in the ground but everything except the cot I had been sleeping on had been neatly packed away.

Getting up sent twinges down my back but I managed and walked over. I would have helped too if he hadn't already gotten it packed by the time I hobbled over.

"How are you feeling?" Vincent asked as I got too him.

"Like a chocobo used my back to sharpen their claws on."

"That is an apt description." He chuckled.

I stood there not really saying anything as he finished up packing. I still couldn't believe he had done this for me. But I was still grateful. I could already feel as if a weight had been lifted. And there was only one thing I could really do in response.

"Hey Vincent."

"Hmm?" He stood up from folding the cot and looked at me.

"Thank you."

"You already said that."

"I know but, I mean it. Thank you."

I saw him smile and he reached over and gently patted my shoulder.

"It was my honor Reno."

He then turned and began to pick up the few bags and the cot.

"Now let's get you home. I am assuming we are keeping this from Rude?"

I shrugged, "I can try. But he always figures it out. Don't worry though. I will make sure he doesn't come over and pummel ya."

He made that grunt like noise before he spoke. "I highly doubt he would succeed."

"He would still try yo."

"True."

We packed everything into a small truck Reeve had let Vincent borrow; Vincent shared Clouds love of Motorcycles, and hopped into the front seat. Well, I tried to hop but didn't quite succeed considering. Once Vincent started the truck up and pulled it away from the building my stomach began to make itself known.

"Hey, Vincent? Any chance we can swing by Tifa's for some grub? I here there is this really hot babe that goes there about the time we would arrive."

Vincent shook his head. "You are definitely feeling better."

I haven't written anything in a while and this idea struck me as I was coming home from work. Thought I would stretch out my writing muscles after not having done so in a while. AS always I do not Own FFVII and yadda yadda yadda. Review plz. I like Constructive Criticism but flames and trolling will not be tolerated. Be respectful of the writers who pour their hearts into their work. Thank you for taking your time to read this little blurb and feel free to use this as inspiration for a story of your own. Ja Ne.