I remember the first time he came up to me. That boy had something on his eyes, his smile, the way he walked. I don't know 'cause all I wanted was to fill my water bottle and walk on that lame Spanish class when he just came from nowhere. I was just pressing down, watching how long the water took to fill the whole bottle when I heard his tightened up but smooth voice across my ears. I didn't catch up what he said exactly, but I swiftly turned my head up. Immediately I recognized his frosty, blue eyes, his blond hair and red lips. My first thought was to wonder why he would be talking to me, but my heart jumped off my chest. I instantly felt myself blushing, but why, why would I suddenly melt down and feel a little dizzy?
I quickly answered whatever, for I was hypnotized by his gaze. I walked fast into the classroom, and I spend the whole day smiling funny. But I was too embarrassed to walk into him again, so I promised myself I would just avoid walking into him or speaking to him. But I ended up avoiding him as a being, as a person. This lasted for a long time. But what was exactly my problem with him?
"Wow!" Hayle smirked at me, "I just didn't understand why you avoided him?" She demanded. I was surprised by the question, wasn't it obvious? "Well, maybe and I mean, just maybe..." I start sarcastically, "Because we were friends at the age of 4 through 7?"
"And?...What does this get to do with anything?" She requested once again, more calmly, while biting off a donut piece. I roll my eyes and continue "Well, it's a bit strange to meet someone that you were so close when young...? And I mean, I think I was a bit too awkward and..." But my thoughts trailed off... why was I ignoring him again?
We stay in silence for a couple of minutes as I watch our school's field, the sun is shining brightly and I imagine myself running through the grass in the heat of a soccer game. But there is one difference in this alternative reality. I feel confident. I feel smart. I feel beautiful when I have that soccer uniform and while I am running with the ball, conducting it to the goal. It is not like in reality, for I don't feel any close to confident nor that I deserve being in that uniform. Secretly this is one of my dreams, being someone who is a great soccer player. It might sound dumb for some people but it's a big deal to me. I watch as the green grass turns to treasure, the little lights making them shiny lines of gold. But me and Hayle's peace is broken when we hear footsteps.
Before we can take a second to breathe in this sweet, clear air, the rest of our little group shows up. Jade is in the front, bossy as ever. She is the younger of us five because she was born at the end of November, but this doesn't stop her from being a total copycat, smartypants. Her red, thick hair flies away behind her pink hair band. Right behind her is Ece, with her headphones and purple glasses, looking at the bricks she walks on. And finally, there is Lei, a short, oversized girl. But don't take her for granted, for she is the toughest girl I know.
Lei doesn't wait for Jade and Ece to catch up and she comes running towards us. There had been a little separation in our group if you can notice. I feel the tension rising up. I mean I do like to stay and talk about stuff with Hayle, but it seems that the group is always Me, Lei and Hayle while Ece and Jade stay together. I can say they were the ones who started it, pushing us apart. But I do claim that I and Hayle helped it by pushing everyone away from us. But, again, it's the end of quarter two for 10th grade, and next quarter we are going to mix up classes. I just need to hold on tight for some more school weeks, than vacation and bam. New classmates, new quarter, new chances.
Some weeks ago Jade told us she had a crush on someone but she really didn't want to tell us who was it because she was afraid someone else might like the guy already. But I didn't need any tips to know who it was. Luckily Jade isn't discreet like me, and she can't hide her feelings. At the end of 9th grade, a guy named Adrien was accepted into our school. The guy has a cute floppy dark brown hair, a coffee skin color but what it actually catches attention is his cute gaze, his expression as if he is always embarrassed about something. He is actually quite shy and would be described as a good boy.
Well, she finally told us who was it, and I was right. But the second everyone was out, she turned to me and screamed that he was hers, that I shouldn't get even close to him or talk to him. I was all like 'um I don't like him', but I and Adrien have some sort of history, he liked me back then but I was in love -what was actually lust- with his fake best friend. You can imagine what happened afterward, for my best friend Ece liked him at that time. It was terrible, so I wasn't that surprised, of course, Jade would think I would steal Adrien from her, who is actually not hers yet.
Lei sat at our side, briefly waving at Jade and Ece to come and sit next to us. As we were bailing at English class today, so we had some time to do a game. We sat in a circle, so each one could see everyone's faces. The game was easy, we just had to ask each other ''what if'' questions and answer the truth.
Of course, Jade had to go first. "Ece, if you had to make out with someone in a party, who would it be?". Ece looked stunned, why would Jade be asking her that question?. But I knew, now that I promised Jade I didn't like Adrien, she probably wanted to make sure Ece still didn't like him. Then Ece answered "Adrien".
Jade was furious, but it wasn't like Ece had any options. All the boys in our grade were trash, just saying. They were childish, not mature and treated us like we were some sort of disabled princesses. They would offer to do anything and everything for us, like can't you see I have arms and legs?
The game kept going, but at each second Jade was more convinced that Ece liked Adrien. Several times Ece had to scream at her face ''I don't like him!'' so Jade could finally shut up. But there was one question that Lei did that got me thinking. Did it felt good or bad to have a crush? Jade and Ece answered it felt great because you had something to do your whole day, and you could do playlists full of music that remembered him and listen to it all day long. You could read about him. Write about him and draw him. But I and Hayley answered it was horrible, that now your world was not only yours, your heart was stolen from you. You can't think, sleep or breathe without remembering the potential person you might be in love with which you can't have or talk to because you can't even breathe around him without having a heart attack or just want to disappear. But Lei didn't amswer after making the question. She...she just sat there.
Last week Lei traveled because of some half days we had around the week and she came back all feathery, light as a baby's laugh. Then she told us she had met the love of her life, that it had been love at first sight. What she told us was magical, but it seemed she was only able to see the guy once, and once wasn't enough for Lei. She wanted more, she wanted a life with the guy. She is still a bit depressed because she's still thinking about the him. I feel really sorry for her. I just guess she isn't sure if it is good or bad to have a crush.
We stay there for a couple of hours, laughing like old friends. There was even a spark of emotion like we were back at it. Back at the OC thing. Without all those gossip and hatred behind our backs. Like our group wasn't tearing itself apart. But it just lasted some seconds.
Suddenly I looked at the clock, it marked exact 4 PM, it was time for my and Ece's indoor football or futsal, I am not sure how I like to call it. We quickly changed our clothes to the team's shirt and ran our way to the court. We were in the need of practice for our big ISSL game at December were we travel to compete with other schools. As we practice only soccer daily, we needed to do some Futsal before December. I walk into the court and the whole team is already there, I feel kinda guilty, but Ece just simply walks in. I follow her until we find our spots and sit with the team. Suddenly there is a loud noise and some cheers.
Our coach walks around and turns to the actual court and shouts something I couldn't catch. He asks us to make pairs and start our warm-up. I look at Ece while she grabs the ball and we walk together behind some other pair who were walking past us to get there first. I suddenly spot Juliana and her pair aka bestie, Anna. I shouldn't care, for they could be just ordinary 11th grade girls. But they were different. Juliana was only the best shooter we got on the team and Anna our head middle field. Personally, Ju was my idol. I always had looked up to her since the day I started. And to think next year she will be out to join an more advanced team. I hope I can still use her as inspiration.
As Ju and Anna rudely pass us over the line, we are finally able to enter the actual court just to find some boys who were already in the middle of a futsal match. I was sure it wouldn't be long until my coach kicked them out. But it wasn't happening. I quit staring at my coach and took a glance around the boys. They were all in their uniforms, like us, and had nicknames in the back of their shirts. I could read some, but I couldn't recognize them. There were a guy named Edward -a really tall and oversized blonde guy-, another one with his back facing me called Jay - a boy with brown hair and darker skin, but I couldn't catch any other features-, Gui -actually a boy from my class, smaller than his companions, only recognized him because he as closer to me- and lastly Gustavo -a really tall and muscular boy, the goalkeeper-. The others I couldn't quite catch for they were too far away or facing me, so I couldn't read their names on their backs.
Our coach screams finally, after a long talk with a blond hair guy who I hadn't noticed it was there at all. All the boys leave the court. I ask Ece why they were here, but she looks at me like I am some kind of dumb person. She then tells me that after our training, they will be training. Then I realize they are the male soccer team. Well, sometimes I can just not think straight. But wait, are they just going to wait and watch us?
I go to the other end of the court, with my back facing all the boys that didn't go out of the court. To my luck, most of them got up and left while the others started to make a little soccer match in a small space at the corner of the court. At first, I was a bit nervous, but I relaxed after some kicks. I was all alone in this, for when the talk is about sports, Ece pretends she doesn't know me. She likes to be alone for some reason.
Suddenly, while walking to perform the 4th exercise where we would just simply kick the ball to the goal, he comes in. White t-shirt, black sweat pants, intense gaze and blond hair. Was that...Jacob? Like Jacob Jacob? Like the guy I was best friends when we were 6? Like the guy I've been ignoring ever since I saw he was here?
I profoundly start to freak out from the inside. My first thought was that he couldn't see me, or know that I was here. I start to blend between the girls. Luckily he went straight to the coach. They spend some minutes talking while I hoped my turn would quickly pass and he wouldn't notice me. Finally, I am the second in the line. Two girls and it is my turn. But suddenly I see he turned his gaze to the line of girls, and walks toward the goal. He excuses the tall guy I had seen before named Gustavo and places himself as the goalkeeper. Of course, he would offer to help us.
The girl on my front, who happens to be Rachel, goes and does a quite good job, but the ball is blocked by Jacob and doesn't enter the goal. It is finally my turn and I stop in my tracks, I can't do this! First, he will know it is me, second I am so nervous I think I will probably miss the ball and fall on my back, or kick it so wrong it goes the other way. Or probably embarrass myself in front of him with something!
I feel myself melting with anxiety from inside, but outside I know I look as tough and unsentimental as I can be. I probably look like I didn't even recognize him. I kick the ball fair and square. It doesn't go as high as Juliana's kick would drive the ball to, but it was quite strong. But before I did the deed, he looked at me strangely. Did he recognize me? Well if he did, he brushed it off quickly.
I spent the rest of the training ignoring him until I was put in a situation I had to look and talk to him. We were supposed to kick the ball into the goal in diagonal while one of the three people in each group rolled the ball for the girl who was kicking. I ended up in Rachel's and Justice's Group. It was just kind of annoying because I kick with the left leg even tho I write and draw with the right hand. Anyways, It was my turn to roll the ball for them, and Jacob was passing the balls who were already kicked by the other girls for me so I could roll to them again.
I was obvious he didn't know how to act, for he didn't say a word. But it wasn't because he was shy, because he wasn't freaking out like I was. We didn't need talking, we just talked with the eyes. Each time he would catch the ball look at me like he was waiting for my approval and then I would smile awkwardly and dip my head as some sort of "thank you" gesture. Than he would roll the ball for me. I am such an ass! I thought I knew how to act around boys! But I mean, at least it's not that I like him...right?
Finally, we got to the end of the training, I quickly run away home. I didn't want to wait until I do something stupid right in his face again. But then I heard Rachel, that little nasty, egocentric girl screaming "Jaaa-eay". She was probably calling that boy I noticed who was on the futsal match when we came in. I started walking faster, but Rachel's laugh was catchy. I was so frustrated with that girl that I had to look over my shoulder. Bam. I see Jacob walking by her side, her arms around his neck. But his gaze is on something else. Me.