UnCaNnY

BELOVED

~.~

"Isn't love a little scary?"

It wasn't something she ever thought would leave her mouth. But she says it. Her heart can no longer be trusted. "You need to leave."

He stands there (no. It stands there. IT). Its head tilts to the side while blue beady eyes enlarge briefly before black mono lids cover them in visor-like motions. The sound coming from the throat of the creature is a cross between a gurgling cough and a sob. Sharp nails curl inward and then the whole black mass shakes in a spasm.

She hates how it's abs moved in response to her command, as if she'd slapped him. It. She swallows before ripping the courage out of her own chest. She forces it into her hand, pushing him forward outside her apartment as hard as she can muster. There's no other option. "You're not him. You're not human. I can't do this anymore."

That slow, eerie blink returns with another sob. But it's human this time. A child's sound. It stutters, voice clear and young for once. "K-Kairi...? Kairi... wants... Sora."

Distinctly Sora's voice.

No. No more.

She swallows bile as her left hand grips the door. "Yes. I want Sora. You're not Sora. You're a monster and I can't... I can't save you. Please leave."

It cries again, reaching for her but stops when she holds her palm up. She fights through her tears to speak. "Go. Now. Or I'm calling the cops. Go to the island and never come back."

She has to cover her ears when it wails again. Its black body curls in towards the ground, hunching, head twitching repeatedly, while its claws pull at its own spiky head of black hair shaped like her lost love. She sniffs while it continues to cry in a way that can only be described as that of a baby mixed in with the scratchy chorus of a dying toad. For two minutes this stretches on and she thanks the heavens that the neighbors aren't home to report her like last time.

Finally, it slowly stands up straight. Its eyes slowly turn yellow, the sign of anger... or maybe pain. "Kairi.." It points to itself. "Kairi says... Kairi wants Sora to go?"

She smiles. "Yeah... You... You must go. Stay on the island."

It points again. "Alone?"

Again, she smiles and the corner of her lips touch the tears streaming down her face. "You'll be safe."

And, miraculously, it steps back. It understands. "Okay." Timid. Young. A shadow of Sora's innocence in it's voice. She knows better. It turns and walks slowly to the corner of the hall. Kairi slams the door shut before falling to the floor, allowing the storm in her body to take over. She needs to grieve all over again.

But it's okay. It would be worth it. Right?

~.~

"No. You're not okay. You're always going to worry, because you have a kind heart. That's what I've always loved about you. You make me strong. You raise up everyone around you. That's why I know you can do this... Without me."

~.~

He walks. And walks. And walks. His heart lingers though, lingers where she was. The only light he knew. His only friend. He wants to go back. His heart calls to him. He turns then stops, shaking his head. "No... Kairi says..."

So he goes back to walking, doing his best to remember everything she's taught him.

Don't run.

Don't slouch.

Don't lean forward.

Don't extend your nails.

Don't move faster than the hearts around you.

Don't shake. Or twitch. Stay straight, eyes half open. Not the size of a plate.

And above all... no smiling at anyone besides Kairi.

The last rule was the hardest. He knew somewhere that smiling was good, that he used to do it a lot. Before bad, before the dark, he knew. He just knew.

After all, Kairi just did it to him. To make him less sad, right? So why couldn't he do it?

Something moves in the corner of his eye. He twitches (No. Bad. Bad Sora), then he freezes as the child gets close. He smiles at it.

The child's eyes widen. Was it surprised? Did he do a good thing?

Oh no. Tears. Kairi's tears, now child tears. Oh no...

"I... I can fix." He tries to smile again, a smaller smile. Kairi told him before his smile was too big. Was that it?

No. More tears. No, Now screams. Screams! No!

"Go. Go to the island... you'll be safe." He thinks of her voice. It's the only thing that calms him down.

"The child... is afraid... I'm not safe here." he lets out a deep breath while watching the child run. "Okay. Sora will go." He looks to the left and sees a copy of himself. Or... a reflection. Reflection. Image. He approaches it, tapping the glass. The sun is almost gone, but it doesn't affect his vision. His face, solid black, is filled up halfway by his mouth. A frowning mouth.

Ah, now he understands. That mouth in a smile would be bad. He blends his mouth back into his face until there's nothing and a whine escapes his throat. He looks away.

His black shoes with purple stripes. The baggy black and blue pants. The claws. His black shirt. But no, the eyes are the worst. What she said... that they were only one color? So bad? He forgot why, but it scared most hearts. It scared her heart. Scared the child.

Well, the smile scared the child but he's sure his eyes didn't help.

Sora... had blue eyes, but there were black holes too. And white stuff. He doesn't have that.

Yellow shoes. Don't have.

Shirt and jacket with zippers. Don't have.

Chained crown necklace. Have, but black and rusted. So bad.

Black, finger-less gloves? Don't have. Sharp nails that extend into claws? Have. And they're bad.

His mouth... too big, and it doesn't produce sound. He can't talk right. So, just more bad.

"Not Sora," he mutters through his throat. He wasn't Sora. Kairi wanted Sora. He understands. He understands but at the same time it really hurts. All that's left is the bad. And if there's only bad, doesn't that make everything sad?

Sadness and frustration. "Island. Island is safe."

Another heart approaches in his direction. He looks away but then a force on his arm pulls him back. A new voice. "Sora?!"

No. Not good. "Not Sora. Island. Must go."

"Sora." The heart bounces. Joy. Confusion. Pain. Slowly, the rest of the body comes into focus. It's not light, not like Kairi. But this heart is good. "Sora... do you remember me?"

"I'm n-not Sora." He cocks his head, reading the heart more. "...Riku?"

"Yeah... that's me. God... I can't believe this. You're actually here."

Riku... yes, very familiar. Darker heart than Kairi. But then again, he's never met a heart as light as Kairi. Children don't count. "No. Kairi says the Island is safe."

"Yes, this is Destiny Islands. Your home. After all these years... I searched everywhere for you."

Riku. Now Riku has tears. "Riku... sorry. I will go."

"No. Just let me... follow me. Okay? Follow me."

~.~

"I'm not going to make it. I'm not used to darkness. So sorry... I'm just glad... you never have to experience this."

~.~

She can remember it like yesterday. The island sand, going into the secret spot, their cave, for the first time in two years. The one time she had to be brave. That's how she found him. "Sora...? Oh my god... oh..."

But he didn't notice her. Not at first. He sat by the chalk drawings, scratching out the one with the spiky hair. Hair like his.

She pushed through her shock. "Do you... remember me? Remember this place?"

Her voice. Light. He turned.

She flinched. "You look like a heartless... or maybe a neoshadow?"

He couldn't understand her. He scratched at the drawing again.

"Sora... it's me. Kairi." She bit her bottom lip very hard, enough to bleed. Please don't let this be a dream.

That name... "Kai...ri..." He faced her, standing. He grabbed her hair and pulled.

"Ow! S-Sora...?"

"Kairi!"

She winced. Even though his body was that of a nineteen year old (though fully black), he sounded like he did back when he was fourteen. But higher. Even if he was excited there was something off about it. "Yes. I'm Kairi. Don't pull my hair like that. It hurts."

"...hurts?"

"Yes, let go."

"..."

"Sora? Do you understand?"

"...red."

"Huh? Oh, I cut my lip. It's fine. Uh... you don't need to touch it. Ow."

"Red... hurts?"

"Yeah..."

"..."

"Hey, what are you-hmmm!"

He gripped her waist and pressed his mouth against her lip, sucking. He shifted the shape, making sure his mouth was the same size. All he knew was that he did this before somewhere long ago. And her sound... it wasn't as sharp. More like a song, a nasal flow. He liked it. This is good.

"N-no." She fought her moans and pushed. "S-stop..."

No? Not good? He moved his mouth away, making it disappear. "Red gone. No hurts?"

"I... no. I mean, you shouldn't... kiss me. Not yet. I have to fix you first."

"...Fix? Fix heart?"

"Yeah. Like last time. Remember? I'll do it again. Then we... then I'll let you kiss me."

He could only understand a few words. But it was... easier. Her light. This is really good. "Okay... Kairi."

"I've missed you, Sora. Come on. Follow me."

~.~

"I tried my best. I really did. But... I never felt that way about you, Kai. I'm sorry... especially now. This is horrible but... please... tell Riku... I love him. Okay?"

~.~

Just like with Kairi, the only white heart, now Riku was taking him somewhere. But Riku's heart is a mixture. Half light half dark. A perfect balance. "Sora" had never seen a heart like this. It's a good heart, not as kind as light, but more stable.

"Sora" wants a heart like that.

"Huh... you're so quiet."

"..."

"This must be hard... I don't know how long you've been a heartless. What world you've been lost in. I searched for so long, Sor. Yen Sid said you didn't exist anymore. But I always believed."

"..."

"I'm sorry. I'm being rude. Uh, do you want water?"

"... mouth is bad."

"What? Sora... Sora look at me."

"..."

"Your mouth... it's missing..."

He looks away. This is different. With Kairi it was easy. But now he's afraid. "Don't want Riku to have tears."

"Sora..."

"Not Sora. I need to go."

"No. Please. Let me help."

"..."

"Let me see. Okay? I won't cry. I promise."

"Sora" gasps. Something is moving in his own chest. His heart... it's beating. It's been so long. Is it because of Riku?

"I'm right here. I won't leave."

Slowly, "Sora" smiles. A small smile.

Riku doesn't flinch. But his heart, and eyes, are unreadable. "Well... your mouth is... big. But I don't see anything wrong with it."

"Not show teeth. If Riku sees teeth..."

"Show me."

"..."

"Oh... yeah. Those... look sharp." Riku chuckles. He can't deny the fear entirely, but at the same time there's a sense of... excitement? "Still, it's not as bad as when you had fangs."

"Riku... am I bad?"

"What? No. You just need help. It's okay, Sora. I'm going to get you through this."

"But... I'm not Sora."

"Why do you keep saying that?" Riku sighs, opening his arms. "Come here. I think you need a hug."

"Sora" can't help himself. He really, really likes hugs. Kairi did it a lot at first when she found him a few months ago, but it didn't fix his heart. With each hug she became more sad.

"Sora" missed the hugs. The warmth. But when he hugs Riku he doesn't get warm. He gets hot.

A new sound comes from his throat. What... is this feeling?

Riku blushes. "Ummm, Sora?"

"Yes, Riku?" His own voice changes. It's... deeper. It flows out of his mouth. A normal mouth. This is good, this is exciting!

Riku doesn't know what to think. He fidgets under a strong black body. He's heating up, but it's not coming from himself. "This... isn't a hug."

Sora (he's never felt like that name belonged to him... until now) rolls his hips against Riku's crotch. He moans again, shaking as he grips Riku's wrists. "Riku... Riku, I love you."

Riku's eyes widen. "What? S-Sora... you're in love with Kairi." He groans, trying not to react, looking away. "You should stop. I think you're confused."

What? No. That's not right. He told Kairi to tell him... right? "Riku... Kairi promised. I've never... felt like this. Kairi wants Sora. But... but I want you."

"Y-you need to rest. Let me help you. Please." Riku grunts but no matter how hard he tugs he can't get his hands free. "Come on... we shouldn't rush anything. Darkness messes with our heads. I don't think you realize what you're doing."

"No." She said she would. Why didn't she tell him? "I know exactly what I'm doing. I was scared. But you're different. I want my heart to be like yours."

"Sora..."

"Please... don't push me away." And with a kiss Sora seals Riku's mouth. Neither of them get much sleep.

~.~

"Kairi...? Wait, don't. You can't! The darkness, it's not leaving my heart... why... I don't want to stay alive like this. You have to let me go. You have to let me-"

~.~

At first he (it) was cute. It hardly spoke, but when it did it would usually be in rearranged fragments of what she already said. All in a childlike voice.

But then there were other... incidents.

The first warning was when she saw it staring. Blue eyes fully open (something she told it not to do because it made the "hearts" and children uncomfortable). Its mouth was also open and this purple stream of liquid was leaking at the corner of its mouth.

It looked like... "Don't stare at my chest like that."

It snapped its mouth shut, melting it into their face in that churning motion she hated. But the liquid still dripped from its chin. "Can I eat it?"

She blinked, covering her breasts. "No. You can't eat them."

Its head tilts down. "Not boobs."

"Huh?" She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Your heart. Can I eat it?"

"N-no."

"Why not?"

"That... would kill me."

"No. Sora's heart eat. Still fine."

"We're different, Sora. I wouldn't turn into a heartless. But it doesn't matter. You can't eat anyone's heart."

"...Bad?"

"Yes, very bad... very scary and bad." She shuddered. It would be so much easier if he simply had amnesia. But everything was scrambled. Memories and concepts... she felt like she was talking to a child.

But other times...

"Sora?"

"Yes?"

"Are you done showering?"

"No."

"Do you need help?"

"..."

"I'm coming in, okay?" She heard shuffling and the sound of the shower curtain falling. Still over dramatic as usual. "I'm opening the door now."

"Kairi..." It was huddled in the corner of the bathtub in nothing but black shorts (any clothes it would put on would instantly turn black). Somehow it could do this; dress in some clothes in a skittish, inhumanly fast motion. Kairi had always felt weird about it, as if it knew she... wanted to see more.

She got closer, noticing the black stains all over the tub. "What's wrong?"

It stared at her with big eyes. It slowly stood, then held out a darkened bar of soap that looked like it was smeared in tar. "Sorry... dark won't come off."

"It's okay. Need a hug?"

"No. Kairi... wants... and don't want to make Kairi dark."

She sighed. "Sora... what do you mean?"

She jumped. It continued to stare at her, body completely still except for its palm pressed against her inner thigh. Then it moved up higher, allowing one lone claw to reach the side of her underwear before dipping slowly into the middle, stopping. It whispered in a voice completely different from a child. It was the first time she had heard Sora's real voice since that awful day. "Kairi wants. Sora's not... fixed. Can't give to Kairi."

I... I can't move. But... do I want to? And when he fully remembers... "You don't... you don't need to give."

It didn't move it's hand, stiller then a statue. Only his mouth, a human mouth, moved. "Kairi... did so much for Sora. But... you want and... Sora... I'm broken."

"I don't care. I still love you." She smiled, but her legs were still locked in place. "I'll always..." She shuddered when he (because she really did believe, could only see him as human at that moment) ripped the underwear off in one motion while his shorts dispersed in waves of darkness.

"If... waiting hurts... I'll give." There was a mixture of innocence and awareness there. She wasn't sure if Sora really knew what he was giving, or understood the depth of her "love" besides a simple desire. Most of the time, it was like she was the mother.

Nevertheless, she stepped into the tub and he gave her exactly what she wanted. As he kissed her collarbone something inside her said that this was wrong. But she was weak and believed the illusion. She missed Sora too much.

Despite not falling for her, he had tried. Hard. He pleased her every time. This "Sora"... he was different but also the same. This wouldn't be the first time Kairi lost control. But each time was a little rougher (as the edges of her own heart sharpened).

And none of those times involved him releasing. Just like when the true Sora was alive. The fact that not even a phantom of him could be pleased by her... this is what hurt the most.

~.~

"I love you."

"Kai...ri..."

"Your wound is healing. See? Sometimes darkness can be good. It needed to stay in your heart, but you'll get used to it."

"Can't... feel my body... my heart... it's eating my heart..."

"You're alive."

"..."

"Sora?"

~.~

Riku hates himself. Years, years of holding back. He knew he had to give up once Sora started dating Kairi, but the desire had always been there.

And the moment he saw an opportunity he seized it. He'll never forgive himself.

He listens to the shower run, pondering over the apology he should give. When Sora enters the room he opens his mouth... only to let it hang open as his best friend dries off brown hair.

Sora grins, pale peach skin glowing. Though, in reality, it's more of a grayish color besides his blushing cheeks. His eyes are still fully blue but there are lines seperating his iris in each eye. He smiles, showing normal teeth. "Did you sleep well, Riku?"

Riku swallows. The fear returns, stronger this time. "I... what happened to you?"

"I ate some of your heart when you fell asleep. It's fixing me. Soon, I'll be normal. Then I can be friends with Kairi again, and we can start dating."

"You ate... my heart...?" He looks down at his own chest and his stomach twists.

The hole in his chest is gigantic. A thin, black membrane covers the gaping hole and he watches his intestines and other internal organs push food remnants and other various liquids around. The bottom of his heart looks like there's a black paste on it, and it beats slowly.

Or... slowly until Riku screams from panic.

"Riku? Don't be scared. See? Your heart is special. You can regulate darkness naturally, so you won't get corrupted by my touch. You won't turn into a heartless. Soon, my heart will be like yours and-"

"Get the hell away from me! Don't touch me!"

"What? Riku, it's okay."

"No! This is horrible, Sora! This is very bad!"

"You said... you said you would help me."

"I don't even know what this is! Just go! Leave!"

"But I... I love you..."

"Well, I don't. I don't want you. Sora wouldn't do this to me. I... I don't know what you are but stay away from me. Get back or I'll kill you! How dare you pretend to be Sora and use me!"

"Riku.." Tears flow down his face. It's the most tears he's ever had. "Please..."

"I don't ever want to see you again." Riku covers his own chest. "Go. Go to the island like Kairi told you."

"...Okay."

~.~

"Sora? You're sinking! Grab onto my hand! Take it! I don't know where you'll... you... why won't you take my hand? S-Sora, please don't... Don't leave me."

~.~

If Kairi left "Sora" alone for more than an hour he'd slip into a queer state. A rage, fed by darkness and anxiety. It's hard, stepping from isolation into light, and it's even more overwhelming when the light you start to depend on suddenly disappears.

He attacked many hearts this way. Slashing and digging his nails in deep. Point is, there was a lot of red. And red was another form of hurt.

There were so many ways to hurt hearts. Children were even more fragile. But was it really his fault if he was broken?

Now, he was hurt. The girl that wanted him became too hurt by his presence, and the boy he wanted rejected him, despite not being hurt at all.

And if he wasn't "Sora", what was he?

He made it to the island and went back to the cave. It was safe there. Lonely and safe. He doesn't know how long he stayed there, he's never been good at keeping track of time. But eventually he gets tired of being safe.

Safe isn't the same thing as being fixed. So he starts planning and eventually discovers the way. He scratches out the rest of the picture of Sora in chalk along with the picture of the wayfinder charm next to it. As he does this, moving for the first time in ages, he notices the angular shape of his claws now fully black with flecks of grey and blue spots.

He avoids the mirror in the far back of the cave. He'll never look at his reflection again. Not until his heart is fixed.

~.~

"He... disappeared in a portal of darkness."

"What do you mean?"

"Riku... he's dead."

"..."

"Riku? Did you hear me?"

"Yeah..."

"I'm sorry."

"..."

"I did the best I could."

"You said he disappeared in a portal. He could still be out there."

"Riku..."

"I'm looking for him."

"...you won't find him."

"I will. Believe in him."

"..."

~.~

In the three months since the attack Riku nearly forgets about the strange encounter with the heartless. However... his body won't let him.

Everything functions, but it's still unnervingly slow. He can't participate in sports anymore because his heart would give out. His stomach is smaller, decreasing his appetite. And his light, silver blue hair is now a thin bush of white prickly locks. He dyes it repeatedly, but the color never lasts more than a day. The black membrane is still translucent and he grows tired of seeing the inside of his insides.

It's when his fingers turn black that he finally decides to see Kairi. She had always been the better healer of the three of... the two of them. He knocks on her door, shivering in his black hoodie. The door opens upon the third knock and he frowns.

Kairi never leaves the door unlocked.

Riku stiffens, trying his best to calm his racing heart. The door slamming shut behind him randomly doesn't help. A soft, childlike voice echoes in the room.

"Riku...? What took you so long?"

Riku backs away, but again, an invisible force pushes him forward. He looks down at his feet, alarmed to see thin, black strands urging him forward. "S-Sora...? Is that you?"

Laughter. A dark whisper just above his left ear. "Silly, Riku. I'm not Sora, remember? You said so."

Riku shuts his eyes closed as sharp teeth bite into his neck. He whimpers, feeling his heart slow down to a few measly beats. His whole body falls limp. "You... you c-came back-" The next bite cuts off his voice and a strange gurgled choking sound fills the air as "Sora" tears into flesh.

No... no he isn't Sora. There's too much anti-matter, grainy dirty residue, for him to even clear up the boy, or whatever, he used to be. Not in time for it to matter.

Anti-Sora. The name fits.

He drops Riku's body, holding the swirling ball of light and darkness that is Riku's heart. He swallows it whole, then walks into the bedroom where his other special heart is tied up. "Riku is gone now... I could have saved him if he came to you sooner for help. I ate too much the first time without realizing it. His body was shutting down. But you... you don't care, do you?"

Kairi keeps her eyes locked on her own lap. Only one of her hands is chained to the bed, but her whole body is weak in defeat.

Anti-Sora sighs. "You still never told him. Even after I left... you wanted Sora all to yourself. And Sora wanted Riku. Now.." He crawls into the middle of the bed, hovering over her. "Do you know what I want?"

She shakes but when she speaks her voice is clear and firm. "Will you eat my heart too?"

The moment she actually looks up to meet his gaze her body flinches back. Everything about him looks devastatingly normal. Brown hair, tan skin, mouth raised in a kind smile. His eyes, completely black, slowly turn to normal looking eyes albeit they're yellow in color. "S-Sora..?"

He shakes his head. "No. Not anymore. I needed both Riku and you here... so I could destroy the bonds keeping me chained to this world. This lonely, sick world..."

Kairi shudders. "So... I'm going to die now?"

"No. Riku's heart allows me to keep this appearance stable. But you're what keeps me human, due to the pieces of your love left in me. Your light... or should I say, your dark." He smiles sadly. "So you get to live. But not like this."

She shakes as he presses one single claw into her chest. He pulls it out and her heart rips out cleanly, a spherical ball of light. Her body instantly goes truly limp as Anti-Sora transforms the heart into a wayfinder charm. He attaches it to his belt and he glows, all his clothing turning a mixture of white and pink.

Satisfied, he leaves, creating a portal that's a mixture of light and dark. He steps into it as darkness swirls within the apartment, covering everything up in sight.

Well... I'm not entirely sure how my romance idea turned into... this. I think Anti-Sora needs more love in general though. This character (or side of Sora) is so underused.

But yeah, this is probably one of the strangest things I've ever written so... Ummm, Happy Chocolate Day?

Until next time!

Justice T.