It was a Stark Party. Everybody was invited. There were Avengers, socialites, politicians, moguls, and even a few precious peons who got lucky enough to be a plus one. There were even, to the mild horror of one or two of the politicians present, a couple of high profile POWs.
A couple of brunets who were dragged along to the party by their blond keepers, who both had the best of intentions, but didn't quite nail the execution.
Darcy found the two TD&Hs (Tall, Dark, and Handsome) out on the balcony. It was the middle of winter (literally, Tony had looked up when the Winter Solstice was, just so that he could have another excuse to throw money and booze around). Most people were inside, where there was heating, games, heating, alcohol, heating, yummy finger-food, and heating.
Did she mention the heating? Because there was a lot of it inside, where the actual party was happening. It was like a sauna. Darcy was generally okay with saunas, but not ones that she couldn't escape and get a bit of relief from, or ones where she was surrounded by people making small talk.
Not that Darcy had anything against small talk. Actually, she was really quite good at it. It was just that most of the company making small talk at this party took one look at her – or more to the point, her E-cups – and dismissed her immediately.
So, Darcy had pulled her infinity scarf down over her shoulders for a little bit of protection against New York's icy chill, and headed outside. Out onto the balcony where, as previously stated, she found the two TD&Hs.
"Actually, this is a bit surprising," Darcy said thoughtfully as she considered the two, very different, men who were lurking in their own corners of the corner-free balcony. "Or ironic. Not sure which."
"What's that, Doll?" asked the former Howling Commando. Clearly, he'd heard her.
From the way Loki's head was canted slightly towards her, she'd bet he was listening in as well.
"That the Winter Soldier and the Frost Giant would be hanging out here, where it's really, really cold," Darcy answered. "From what I'd heard from your respective BBBs, I'd have thought both of you would avoid cold places. Ergo, slightly surprising, or just ironic."
"'Our BBBs'?" Loki repeated, clearly curious about the latest 'Midgard-ism' to have crossed his path – Barnes had a similarly curious expression on his face.
Fair enough, since it was more a twenty-first-century-ism than just a Midgard one.
"Big Buff Blonds," Darcy clarified. "Also known as your self-proclaimed keepers," she said, and gave both men an assessing look. "Though, from the stories I've heard, and the gaps I could fill in, the truth is more the other way around."
"Steve's always charging into a situation without thinking," Bucky agreed.
"Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three all owe their lives to me and my magic several times over, though none of them would acknowledge it," Loki affirmed, just a bit petulantly.
"My PBB is much the same," Darcy offered in solidarity. "Ah, Petite Brainy Blonde," she clarified at their questioning looks.
Barnes huffed in amusement at her descriptor, and also frustration with the people they were talking about.
"Is it a thing all blonds do?" he suggested. "The lack of self-preservation."
"The certainty that they're always in the right," Loki added with an agreeing nod.
"The dismissal of our abilities, just because we can't do exactly the same thing that they can," Darcy pitched in.
"I smell bitterness," Loki noted, surprised. He straightened from where he'd been lounging against the railing, and started to drift closer to where Darcy was standing. "Not that I'm going to disagree. Thor, indeed, all of Asgard, have dismissed my ability as a warrior simply because my preferred weapons are magic and subterfuge."
"Steve's always givin' me these looks any time I don't react to somethin' the way he expects me to," Barnes complained with a nod of his own as he, too, shifted nearer. "Any time I'm not 'his Bucky', exactly the way I was back in Brooklyn before the war."
"Jane assumes that, just because I'm not enamoured with hard science, or at least her kind of science, that my mental capacity extends to being able to type, make coffee, and bug her about eating," Darcy explained with a huff. "I'm the side-kick, and never shall I ever be elevated any higher. I'm thinking of starting a club, actually."
"For?" Bucky prodded with a crooked little smirk.
"For people who are smarter than they look, and more capable than credited," Darcy proclaimed with a wicked little smile of her own. "BBBs and PBBs not accepted."
"Who else would you invite to join this elite little club?" Loki asked with a delighted grin that was all teeth.
"Apart from you two and me? Hmm..." Darcy turned to consider all the people who were still inside and mingling with the rest of the party-goers. "Probably just Barton. He's the only completely normal guy who is part of the Avengers, but he still keeps up with all of them. I mean, unless we're including people who aren't here, because if we are, then we should definitely invite my parents and my uncle to join as well."
"Agent Barton was invaluable when I first landed on Midgard after falling from the Bifrost," Loki said with a thoughtful hum. "Yes, I can see it. I cannot, however, see him being willing to set aside his regrettably reasonable grudge against me, just to join your proposed club."
"He's been down at the range pretty much every day since you and Thor came back together," Bucky offered. "I asked him about why once. Said he was venting, because the person he'd blamed for something was actually a victim like him, and the real bastard was too far away to even get a bead on."
"Erik's the one who'll hold onto the grudge," Darcy added. "Clint's pretty good about knowing who to blame and who not to blame for stuff. Also? He's really observant. He showed up at my trailer the day after you got shipped off back to Asgard, just cried into my lap about how, before you left, your eyes were green, when the whole time he'd been controlled by the Tesseract, your eyes were bright blue."
"Damn," Loki said softly, then frowned. "Wait. Doesn't Barton fall into the category of 'BBB'?"
"He's not big enough," Darcy denied at once. "Okay, it's hard to be anything approaching the sheer mass of Cap or Thor, but have you really looked at him? He wears sleeveless but slightly bulky vests to make his arms and chest more impressive. Put him in a suit – and I mean the kind that normal people wear, not a super-suit – and you can see just how skinny he really is. Also one of the only men in the party less than six foot tall."
Bucky and Loki both turned to look into the party, each searching out Agent Barton with sharp eyes, and, when they found him, both of them slowly nodded as they realised what she said to be true.
"Not exactly blond either," Bucky observed cautiously. "Looks like a kind of mousy-brown colour."
"It only looks blond if he's had to spend a lot of time in the sun, and then it's a strawberry blond, not a true blond," Darcy agreed with a solemn, certain-of-her-facts nod. "He doesn't fit the TD and H that you guys have going on, but he's not a BBB either."
"TD and H?" Barnes and Loki echoed at the same time.
"Tall, Dark, and Handsome," Darcy said with an easy, slightly (or more than slightly) flirtatious smile on her red-painted lips.
They both smiled back. Dark, lustful smiles that whispered of promises that good girls would be best advised to walk away from. Darcy had always thought of herself as more of a Morticia Addams than Carol Brady though, and if they were happy to make those kinds of promises, then Darcy would be more than happy to collect.
~The End~