Started and Finished: April 24, 2002
Last Episode Seen Before Writing: Reaper
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these character.
RANT
Author's Note: I am totally obsessed with Smallville. Recently I noticed (in Stray, and Reaper) that all Lex talked about for those two episodes is his father and his "tragic history." It started to get a little annoying (think Clark always staring at Lana like he has no life!) so I decided to write a little fic about his ranting. I tried writing it with him doing all the ranting, but it failed miserably. So, I added all the other characters and had them complain about things that they never shut up about or that bother me. It is not to be taken seriously! I mean no disrespect! (I just wanted to add that I am sooo sorry for making fun of Chloe. Truth is, she's my hero and I couldn't make myself leave her out of any of my stories. Sorry, Chlo!)
At The Talon:
Clark: Hi, Lex
Lex: My father hates me.
Clark: I don't know who my father is. See, I'm from another planet.
Lex: My dad treats me like I'm from another planet. It's because I'm bald!
Clark: It's all my fault! If I hadn't come here, the meteor wouldn't be here to hurt people.
(Enter Chloe)
Chloe: Did someone say meteors?
Lex: I have no hair.
Chloe: You know, I have a theory about that.
Clark: It's probably my fault.
Lex: It's my dad's fault. He messed up my life, you know.
Chloe: It's probably because of the meteors.
Clark: That means that that's my fault, too!
(Enter Lana)
Lana: Clark, you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders again.
Clark: It's my fault your parents are dead.
Lana: My parents are dead?!? Oh, wait. I knew that. This necklace is made of the meteor that killed them.
Chloe: I have a theory about that!
Lex: My mom died. I was raised by my father. Did I mention that my dad hates me?
Lana: My dad's dead.
Clark: It's all my fault!!
(Enter Pete)
Pete: What's all your fault?
Lana: My parents are dead.
Pete: I'd comment on that but I only have three lines left!
Chloe: I have a theory about that. It's because of the meteors.
Clark: That means it's my fault!
Lex: No, we already established that everything's my dad's fault. He's a bad man.
Pete: I know, he put my parents out of business.
Lana: My parents don't have a job.
Pete: Your parents are dead.
Lana: They are?!?
Clark: Yes, I did it.
Chloe: I've been researching that and I think I have a theory.
Lex: My dad's been researching me. He doesn't trust me.
(Enter Whitney)
Whitney: My dad's dying.
Lana: My parents are dead, Whitney.
Clark: I killed them! It's all my fault.
Pete: It's not your fault Clark. Dammit! I just used my last line!
Chloe: It's okay, I'll use my contacts to see if I can get you some more.
Lex: My dad wears contacts. he wore them when he stole my girlfriend.
Clark: I don't have a girlfriend. I'm in love with Lana.
Whitney: My dad's sick. I don't have time for Lana.
Lana: It's because my parents are dead, right?
Lex: My mom's dead.
Chloe: I have a theory about that!
Pete: (Gesturing wildly.)
Lana: You look like a dying fish. Dying?!? My parents are dead.
Lex: My dad took me fishing once. He used me as bait.
Clark: I need some bait for Lana.
Whitney: I don't have time for Lana.
Chloe: I have a theory about that. It involves the meteors.
Lana: This necklace has a piece of the meteor that killed my parents. Did I mention that my parents are dead?
Clark: I'd die for you Lana.
Chloe: Then I'd find a way to bring you back using the meteors. I have a theory.
Lex: My dad loves theories. His theory about me is that I'm a bald loser.
Whitney: I'm losing Lana and I don't even know it!
Clark: It's all my fault!
Pete: (Shakes his head and rolls his eyes in defeat.)
Chloe: I have a theory about that.
Lana: I have a theory about how my parents died. They got hit by a meteor.
Lex: The meteors made me bald and my dad hates me.
Whitney: My dad's dying, but I don't want to see him because I want to preserve the memory.
Lana: A memory is all I have of my dead parents.
Clark: (Crying) I cause everyone pain!
Chloe: I have a theory about that.
Lana: My parents are dead.
Lex: Did I mention my dad hates me?
Last Episode Seen Before Writing: Reaper
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these character.
RANT
Author's Note: I am totally obsessed with Smallville. Recently I noticed (in Stray, and Reaper) that all Lex talked about for those two episodes is his father and his "tragic history." It started to get a little annoying (think Clark always staring at Lana like he has no life!) so I decided to write a little fic about his ranting. I tried writing it with him doing all the ranting, but it failed miserably. So, I added all the other characters and had them complain about things that they never shut up about or that bother me. It is not to be taken seriously! I mean no disrespect! (I just wanted to add that I am sooo sorry for making fun of Chloe. Truth is, she's my hero and I couldn't make myself leave her out of any of my stories. Sorry, Chlo!)
At The Talon:
Clark: Hi, Lex
Lex: My father hates me.
Clark: I don't know who my father is. See, I'm from another planet.
Lex: My dad treats me like I'm from another planet. It's because I'm bald!
Clark: It's all my fault! If I hadn't come here, the meteor wouldn't be here to hurt people.
(Enter Chloe)
Chloe: Did someone say meteors?
Lex: I have no hair.
Chloe: You know, I have a theory about that.
Clark: It's probably my fault.
Lex: It's my dad's fault. He messed up my life, you know.
Chloe: It's probably because of the meteors.
Clark: That means that that's my fault, too!
(Enter Lana)
Lana: Clark, you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders again.
Clark: It's my fault your parents are dead.
Lana: My parents are dead?!? Oh, wait. I knew that. This necklace is made of the meteor that killed them.
Chloe: I have a theory about that!
Lex: My mom died. I was raised by my father. Did I mention that my dad hates me?
Lana: My dad's dead.
Clark: It's all my fault!!
(Enter Pete)
Pete: What's all your fault?
Lana: My parents are dead.
Pete: I'd comment on that but I only have three lines left!
Chloe: I have a theory about that. It's because of the meteors.
Clark: That means it's my fault!
Lex: No, we already established that everything's my dad's fault. He's a bad man.
Pete: I know, he put my parents out of business.
Lana: My parents don't have a job.
Pete: Your parents are dead.
Lana: They are?!?
Clark: Yes, I did it.
Chloe: I've been researching that and I think I have a theory.
Lex: My dad's been researching me. He doesn't trust me.
(Enter Whitney)
Whitney: My dad's dying.
Lana: My parents are dead, Whitney.
Clark: I killed them! It's all my fault.
Pete: It's not your fault Clark. Dammit! I just used my last line!
Chloe: It's okay, I'll use my contacts to see if I can get you some more.
Lex: My dad wears contacts. he wore them when he stole my girlfriend.
Clark: I don't have a girlfriend. I'm in love with Lana.
Whitney: My dad's sick. I don't have time for Lana.
Lana: It's because my parents are dead, right?
Lex: My mom's dead.
Chloe: I have a theory about that!
Pete: (Gesturing wildly.)
Lana: You look like a dying fish. Dying?!? My parents are dead.
Lex: My dad took me fishing once. He used me as bait.
Clark: I need some bait for Lana.
Whitney: I don't have time for Lana.
Chloe: I have a theory about that. It involves the meteors.
Lana: This necklace has a piece of the meteor that killed my parents. Did I mention that my parents are dead?
Clark: I'd die for you Lana.
Chloe: Then I'd find a way to bring you back using the meteors. I have a theory.
Lex: My dad loves theories. His theory about me is that I'm a bald loser.
Whitney: I'm losing Lana and I don't even know it!
Clark: It's all my fault!
Pete: (Shakes his head and rolls his eyes in defeat.)
Chloe: I have a theory about that.
Lana: I have a theory about how my parents died. They got hit by a meteor.
Lex: The meteors made me bald and my dad hates me.
Whitney: My dad's dying, but I don't want to see him because I want to preserve the memory.
Lana: A memory is all I have of my dead parents.
Clark: (Crying) I cause everyone pain!
Chloe: I have a theory about that.
Lana: My parents are dead.
Lex: Did I mention my dad hates me?