Okay, well I am working on my new series. But I'm kind of at a stand still with it, but I had this idea for a stand alone, so I just sort of went with it. It's based on the song "The Reason" by Hoobastank...I've been meaning to write a fic about it; I'm surprised nobody has yet since it's a perfect song! If you've never heard it, go listen to it NOW! It's awesome! This takes place in season six, though things up to that point have been slightly different...you'll see. It takes place from Chandler's point of view. Anyways, enjoy and leave some reviews....I need motivation to work on my new series!
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. Nor is the song, which is "The Reason" and is by Hoobastank
The Reason
To tell you the truth, I don't really know how I wound up here. To me, it's all been a dream...a dream that's become reality. Or so I think. Sometimes it feels too good to be true. Sometimes I pinch myself just to make sure it isn't.
Whatever she sees, I sure as hell don't. But all I know is...she's changed me. She's made me into a new man.
Before her, I didn't even live...I just existed. Every day was the same, I woke up, went to work, and came home. Maybe there was a stop at the bar in there, maybe a pizza with my roommate, Joey. But very little of it had any meaning. I didn't really care for anybody, except for the few friends I had...and her.
I didn't have any family I really loved, but God, did I love her. From the moment I met her it was just...I can't even explain. From that moment on, I was enraptured by her. But I knew I could never get her. We were friends, there was that "line"...that line you want to badly to cross but you know you never can.
And because I knew I just couldn't cross that line, I went on living, pretending I didn't have feelings. I treated women like crap; I'll be the first to admit that. I had a series of relationships which I screwed up for various reasons...not wanting to commit, sleeping arrangements, mascara goop...stupid things like that which seemed so important to me. Now I can't remember why they did.
Throughout it all, though, she was there. She was the one who tossed me the pint of Ben & Jerry's when I screwed up my latest relationship. She was the one who explained better sex to me, something I still can't believe she did. She was the one who knew everything about me...even things I didn't know about myself. She'd always tell me I could have any girl I wanted. She'd always say that there was potential in me, that I could be a great boyfriend, a great husband...maybe even a great father. But before her, I didn't really have a reason to exercise that potential. I didn't really care.
And then she happened. And all of a sudden, I had a reason.
I've found a reason for me...to change who I used to be
A reason to start over new.
And the reason is you.
How it happened, I still can't explain. Why she chose me, I still don't know. But honestly, I don't care. All that matters is that it did happen, she did choose me...and for whatever compelled her, I am thankful.
We were in London; she was sad, lonely, and lamenting about how she'd wind up an old spinster. Which, of course, is ludicrous. Monica is the type of woman who not only has that "potential" she sees in me, she exudes it. Not to mention the fact that she's drop-dead gorgeous. She could have any man she wanted, and when I told her she was the most beautiful woman in "most rooms" I meant it, with all my heart. When she kissed me that night, I can't remember feeling anything except for pure bliss...for once in my life, all my dreams were coming true.
Despite all my commitment crap, we were still going strong a few months later. Even after our friends found out about us, we still stayed together. But then it happened...
Richard came back. Her old boyfriend, sexy, sophisticated Dr. Richard Burke, was suddenly back in our lives. She ran into him one day, and he took her out for lunch. Coincidentally, I had a business lunch that day at the same restaurant. Imagine my surprise when I walked in to find my girlfriend laughing with the very man who had made me lose so much self- confidence when they'd dated.
I didn't even let her explain. I couldn't. It wasn't that I thought she'd cheated...in fact, I knew, even before she explained, that she would never do that. It was much more complicated than that...I thought that once she saw Richard again, she'd see all the things in him that I didn't have...things I knew I could never be. I knew that she would chose Richard over me...and to ease the pain I thought was coming, I broke it off before she could.
It was terrible...and I made it even worse. To get over my pain, I slept with my old girlfriend Kathy. Monica found out, and was, rightfully, furious. Even though we were broken up, it was still so soon. We were apart for three weeks, and they were the worst of my life. After that one night with Kathy, she left too, realizing I was far to in love with Monica for anything to happen between the two of us.
Help wound up coming from the strangest place. Ross ran out of babysitting options one day and was forced to leave Ben with me. He was maybe four or five at the time, but he fully realized that I was miserable. He asked why, and I told him. "I made a mistake, Ben..."I sighed. "A big mistake."
"So go fix it, Uncle Chandler," he advised. "Give Aunt Monica a kiss and make up!"
"Not that simple, bud," I replied. "I think she's pretty made at me."
"She won't be," Ben said, shaking his head. "Not if she loves you and you love her."
And all of a sudden, it was that clear....if I truly loved Monica, which I did...I wouldn't care about the faults she had. And if Monica truly loved me, she wouldn't care about the faults I had. After Ben left that night, I raced into her apartment and broke down crying, explaining everything. And I'll never forget what she told me.
"Chandler," she whispered. "I love you. Not Richard. You're my best friend and the person I want to be with. If I didn't think so, I wouldn't of stuck it out this long. I love you...only you."
And from that moment on, she became my reason to change everything.
I'm not a perfect person.
There's many things I wish I didn't do.
But I continue learning.
I never meant to do those things to you.
And so I have to say before I go.
That I just want you to know.
I've found a reason for me....to change who I used to be.
A reason to start over new.
And the reason is you.
I'm sorry that I hurt you.
It's something I must live with every day. And all the pain I put you through...I wish that I could take it all away.
And be the one who catches all your tears.
That's why I need you to hear.
I've found a reason for me...to change who I used to be.
A reason to start over new....and the reason is you.
And the reason is you....and the reason is you.
And the reason is you.
I'm lying in bed with her, reminiscing about all this, and like I said, it still feels like a dream. It's hard to believe she actually forgive me. Let me tell you, it takes a pretty bold woman to put up with me. But she does it...and wonderfully.
"Chandler," her words break my reverie. She turns over to face me and gently kisses my lips. "What're you doing up, baby?"
"Just thinking," I reply. I smile, just looking at her. Her hair is in a ponytail, but strands have fallen out all over the place. She's dressed in my old boxers and some t-shirt I still had from college. And yet she still looks beautiful...amazingly gorgeous.
"About anything in particular?"
"You."
She smiles. "Nice choice. You always know the right things to say."
She says that all the time, and it's still hard to believe. Because before her, I never knew what to say, and I mean never. I got tangled up just talking to a woman on the street. But, like I told you...she's changed everything. She's made me bring out sides I didn't even know I had, much less her.
I'm not a perfect person.
I never meant to do those things to you.
And so I have to say before I go.
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me....to change who I used to be.
A reason to start over new.
And the reason is you...
.I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know.
A reason for all that I do.
And the reason is you.
I lean down and kiss her gently, and she welcomes it. "Three times in one night, huh?" I tease as she deepens the kiss, remembering the night before.
"Hey, better than seven," she whispers under my lips. I chuckle, recalling our first night together in London.
And so it happens again, like it has so many times before...but each time it's amazing...because it's with her. The next morning, I wake up and she's not next to me. In the beginning of our relationship, I used to panic, thinking she'd left. After all, what reason did she have to stay with me? But she's helped me to calm down...changing me little by little, patiently.
"Mon?" I call out as I wander out into the kitchen. Then I see her; she's bent over at the stove, holding a frying pan filled with bacon, which she knows I love. I don't say another word, just sneak up behind her and press a kiss on her neck. "Morning, gorgeous," I murmur.
She turns around, a smile filling her face. "You could've slept," she whispers into my chest. "I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed."
"I've got a better idea." A few minutes later, we're both in bed, a tray filled with food over our laps.
Monica laughs. "You're right," she admits. "Your idea was better."
I just smile and laugh as I hand her a slice of bacon.
Did I ever imagine, five years ago, that I'd be sitting in a bed with the most gorgeous woman on earth, knowing with all my hear that she loves me?
No way.
But would I change it?
No way. She's the reason I changed. And I'm not gonna screw this up again. The ring is in my underwear drawer and tonight, after a fancy dinner, is the night I'm going to propose.
And once and for all, I'll let her know that she's my reason.
For everything.
I'm not a perfect person.
There's many things I wish I didn't do.
But I continue learning.
I never meant to do those things to you.
And so I have to say before I go.
That I just want you to know.
I've found a reason for me....to change who I used to be.
A reason to start over new.
And the reason is you.
I'm sorry that I hurt you.
It's something I must live with every day. And all the pain I put you through...I wish that I could take it all away.
And be the one who catches all your tears.
That's why I need you to hear.
I've found a reason for me...to change who I used to be.
A reason to start over new....and the reason is you.
And the reason is you....and the reason is you.
And the reason is you.
I'm not a perfect person.
I never meant to do those things to you.
And so I have to say before I go.
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me....to change who I used to be.
A reason to start over new.
And the reason is you...
.I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know.
A reason for all that I do.
And the reason is you.
I hope you all enjoyed that pointless mush! Please review...let me know if it was too pointless!