Sakura was walking towards training, again, everybody kept telling her she needed it, When she passed squad 7's apartment door. 'Well' she thought 'Kakashi-sensei is probably going to be late again and I don't want to wait to long.' She walked through the rooms until she heard voices in the bathroom.
"Wow! Yours in is really big Sasuke."
"I know. Feel it, it feels big too."
"It does indeed. How do you get it so big?"
"Well I tend to do side to side exercises instead of up and down."
"Oh. I go traditional."
"Yeah and it's really small."
"Feel it though! It doesn't feel small!"
"It feels really think .Its puny as hell….mine feels better."
"Yeah it's really soft Sasuke….and hairy."
"Damn right it is. …I use Sakura's Honey Jasmine lotion on it, gives it a delightful tingle and it tastes good. Good lubricant too…"
Sakura's jaw dropped to the ground. 'My face!' she thought in horror, 'I use that on my face'
"I wanna taste it."
"Alright, go ahead but be careful."
"--"
"—"
"OW!!"
"What?!"
"Naruto you bit me!!"
"Well yeah it does taste good."
"—"
"—"
"Icky, Naruto! Now you got me all wet!"
"Sorry! I was just putting more lotion on it. It all rubbed off in my mouth when I bit you."
"Hmmm….You're right….it does feel good. But make sure you get it in all the crevasse and at least heat it up."
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""
"Yes! Just like that Naruto. It feels soooo good. sigh I used it too recently."
"On who Sasuke?! You said you would only save it for me!"
"Weelll, I met up with Haku, and the situation with Zabuza…yeah, he needed me to."
"Fine."
"I swear, Naruto, next time it will be you."
"Okay then. I just can't resist you Sasuke! I want to give into my desires soo bad. You don't know how hard it is right now to be in here with you."
"Rub harder."
"No rub mine now. I feel so vulnerable right now…"
"Why?"
""
""
"We'll do it at the same time."
"Is that even possible?"
"Yes."
""
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"Thank you Sasuke."
"Not a problem. Eh…what kind of lotion do you want on yours?"
"How about…Honey Vanilla Grapefruit Pomegranate?
"Sakura's Christmas present?"
"She'll never know."
"Yeah, there's so little to put it on that we don't have to use barely any of it."
"Shut up, Sasuke."
"I'm sorry."
"No, you're not."
"Yes I am! Do you want me to start singing it or something?"
"No it would be too loud and people might find us. … . And it would suck."
"It's not very nice to tell people they suck but I don't get offended do I?"
"Yeah I guess…but I still don't think you're sorry."
"Naruto, after that day, you know I would never hurt you on purpose. I really do lo…"
Sakura couldn't take it anymore. She had to stop this before it went any further. The images her mind conjured up was just too much to bear. She screamed and she walked through the door almost nauseous at what she was about to find. Naruto and Sasuke, having towels draped over their lower half, shower running and hands on each other's…biceps?! She stammered and tried to wrap her tiny little brain around the situation. Sakura landed in a dead faint with a splash on the very wet bathroom floor. Sasuke and Naruto crouched over her unconscious body.
"Well that was unexpected."
"Hmmm, indeed it was. I wonder how much she heard."
"She lasted longer than Rock Lee."
"Well he is Canadian."
"So true. Say, why don't we go some where more personal and really get this party started?"
"Yeah, let's test how good of a lubricant this really is!"
"Alright! Oh and don't forget the whip and shackles!"
"Squee! This is gonna be so much fun! I got the music!"
"Yeah and maybe Justin Timberlake will be there!"
"Naaruutoo. You know he only exists in the cartoons. Besides, he's not like us."
"A boy can dream, Sasuke! A boy can dream! Believe it!"