My body felt stiff as I leaned into the soft embrace. My head landed on the others shoulder with slight thud as I quietly sucked in as much air as possible. The night was warm and humid, stifling, the sky was lit up by the grungy street lights and almost full moon. Not far off I could hear drunken off key singing. Things at the fairgrounds must have picked up since we had left. I closed my eyes tight, trying to block out the light, the sound, the memory of a street lined with lanterns, a tribute to the dead. Her mom among them.
I felt arms lightly embrace my back and squeezed my eyes tighter. My chest hurt, not used to dealing with the quick, painful thuds my heart was producing. I felt like I was drowning in her embrace, in the heat from her body and the overwhelming smell of clean hair, so soft against my cheek. I couldn't breathe, couldn't handle this new feeling, but I didn't want to let go, didn't want to lose the feeling of being pressed so closely against her, stomach to stomach, breast to breast, so I held on tighter, turning my head into her neck and pressing my eyes against her skin, breathing in the smell. If I was going to drown, then I would do so willingly, head first and swimming deeper.
We were grasping at each other, holding on as tight as we could. I was losing myself in this moment, this small section of time on a small one lane road, the smell of some flowery shampoo in the air, and damp skin against my nose. The warmth surrounding me, spreading from my arms and back into my chest. Her heart, beating against my own, both seeming sporadic and quick. In the unstable breaths wrecking my lungs in a burning quick succession. I felt like I was surrounded by stars, like I was flying through them, so bright against my eye lids. It was like I was free to fall through space and time, knowing that I would be caught by this moment, this tether in my chest that connected me to her. To her beautiful smile, to her long soft hair, to her loving embrace. Her cheek rubbed against mine, and the stars grew brighter, hotter. I was falling, drowning, burning, all at once. It was crazy, it was impossible, it was amazing. I never wanted to let go, never wanted to leave this second, this single moment where we were wrapped in each other, trying to fuse together.
But time moves on, bodies shift, embraces loosen, and as she pulled back my eyes were forced to open, forced to accept the reality of the dirty street beneath my feet, of the apartment that waited for me once I left, and of the dirty sky, almost completely devoid of the twinkling stars I had grown to love so much. I felt like grabbing for her, pulling her back to and demanding that she brought them back, relight the stars in my mind until I was falling and drowning and burning all over again. But it was too late, the image was gone, the magic extinguished.
But then, she smiled, so shy and beautiful, and my heart picked up even faster, and the stars began to twinkle all over again, like she was the sun, and they were trying to steal the light from her smile. I brought my hand up to her cheek and pressed our noses together.
So what if I couldn't see the stars? I have my own sun, and it was always shinning, drawing me in until I was falling, drowning in her warmth. With a hesitant smile of my own I brought our lips together in a chaste kiss.
"Thanks for coming with me Camille. I know it's kinda depressing..." She smiled again, and I knew then that my heart belongs to her.
"I'd do anything for you Jo" I stated. And it was true, I would do anything, give up anything for her, even acting.