IN HONOR OF OUR BELOVED POTATO GIRL
"When all is said and done, what is clear is that all lives end before their time."
José Saramago, Blindness
The click of military boots echoed through the chambers of the cell. Whoever it was had a longer stride than the usual guard, Falco noted, lifting his head. Gabi was asleep on the bed next to the wall, her black hair blending with the shadows. Falco waited for the footsteps to stop in front of the holding cell.
It was the soldier who had stopped them from being thrown out of the airship that night of the attack. Falco recognised him by his hair and sideburn. His eyes, although they were darkened and grim, lacked the utter hatred every adult seemed to treat them with since the moment they'd flown out of Liberio.
It was small, but it felt like hope.
He opened the cell, the sound of the swinging, groaning door made Gabi stir in her sleep. Falco put a hand on her shoulder to shake her awake, his own hand trembling and seeking comfort from his friend's presence.
"Get up. Come with me." The man said, standing by the open door. He carried no guns. He wore a long military trenchcoat, a style Falco was familiar with, with a crest of two black-and-white wings on the front pocket. It seemed to catch the light.
Next to him, Gabi was now fully awake. She was staring at the man with contempt.
"Where're you taking us?" she asked suspiciously. His ear cringed at her high pitch after being used to the noiseless cells for so long. "To interrogation? Forget it, you won't get a word out of me, you demon. I will never betray Eldia and the Marley Nation. When our country comes for you, they'll find me, and you'll all pay for what you've done us, dirty demons!" she venomously spat to the indifferent officer. "Or are you thinking of putting us to work? Force us to become your soldiers? If you're going to use us as hostages, I'll bite my tongue out before you do."
"Stop, Gabi," he tried to plead with her, as he always seemed to be doing lately. Falco could not help but feel slightly unnerved about Gabi's declared boldness. This man had saved them. Perhaps he was the only reason they were still alive now. While Falco could not muster the feeling of gratitude, he knew this was not the way to treat him.
The man looked calmly on, as much as a man with tired and hollowed eyes could look. "We've already got your War Chief on our side, why should we waste our time and breath interrogating two brats? We already have what we need. The evidence is that you two haven't been separated. And contrary to what you think, even us devils don't put children out on the frontline," he said in a wry, pointed manner that made Falco wonder if he even knew about their involvement in the recent war with the Mid-East Allied Forces. "The hostage thing, though, I can't make any promises."
"Is this one of your tricks to get us to lower our guard?" Gabi said in an incredulous tone.
The man sighed, not quite at the end of his patience but nearing it. He had that haunted look that only now did Falco realised resembled the one worn by Officer Braun. It scared him, though this man seemed much calmer. "Believe what you want. You're still coming with me, and I expect you to behave or I'll put you back in your cells myself. We don't have the manpower to spare babysitting two spoiled children."
Gabi was about to say something, but Falco nudged her gently and shook his head when she turned to look at him. Her eyes turned a shade angrier, but she stopped protesting and complied with the man's orders and exited the cell.
The tall man let them walk in the front. While Falco let him guide them without a fight, Gabi seemed itching to kick the man's shins. If he had a gun, Falco was sure Gabi would try to snatch it.
"Don't, Gabi" he whispered, feeling her jerk away from his fingers. He sighed. It was fine that she treated him bitterly, so long as she kept out of trouble. He turned to the man, mostly because he was anxious and this silence was downright uncomfortable. Besides, Falco sensed that he wasn't a bad man, which caused some conflict in his little mind.
"What's going on outside? Where are you taking us?" he asked.
The man looked down, taking them through a turn and passing many empty cells. After that, he herded them into what looked like a changing room for prisoners. He gave them what looked like clothes of a very dark colour. "Stop looking so rattled and put these on. We're going to a funeral."
"W-whose?" Falco felt himself asking and wishing he would keep his mouth shut.
The man only glanced at him, his raised brow barely showing his surprise, if it was surprise at all. Did he expect Falco not to ask whose ceremony they were attending? "My comrade. The woman your friend killed." His eyes slid to Gabi darkly, where she bit her lip and thankfully did not stare back defiantly. She did, however, raise a few questions.
"This has to be a trick. Why are we allowed to this funeral, if your friend was killed by us?" she asked, and Falco didn't really like her use of 'us'. It was Gabi who shot this man's friend, not Falco, although in not stopping her properly, perhaps he was to blame.
"Because," the man took a deep breath, as if to gather himself. "you are still kids. You need to see the consequences of your actions."
He shook his head, his eyes hardening with what Falco recognised was both a firm resolution and a wordless resignation. "It's time to conclude this."
.
.
They rode with the man in a horse carriage and, despite himself, Falco was unable to resist taking a look outside, although Gabi kept her eyes firmly ahead. It was rare that they got to look around the city, and Falco had to suppress a small flutter of marvel. The buildings looked like they were built from a fairy tale, in one of those old architectural styles that he used to see in history books. They looked like they belonged to one hundred years ago, but they were actually still new, a few were actually recently built. It was like walking through a time capsule.
They got to where they needed to be fairly quickly, though time passed slowly when nobody said a word to each other. Falco's mind wandered back to the Fort Slava battle and the image of a wild, running Gabi, and wondered if she was thinking of escaping through the windows. She wasn't stupid though. Managing not to be recaptured aside, they would have to navigate and fight for themselves in a completely foreign world, where their previous knowledge would likely fail them. If Gabi wanted, really wanted revenge, she'd stick close to the man. And Falco thinks the man knows it too, for he didn't bother much with watching them and amused himself with his thoughts. He stared out the window like he wasn't watching the landscape that flowed by, but instead the sea of memories that spread out before him.
Their destination was an airy cemetery, adorned with pristine white grave markers that showed where the dead was laid to peace. It was similar to the many ones Falco had visited before honoring fallen Marleyans and the few rare Eldians who made a significant contribution to the cause of the motherland. Gentle, mountainy breezes brushed softly against the white stone and the willows that mark the perimeter. Dew glistened, a net of cold silver on the green pasture, and stones twinkled like stars fallen to earth. It seemed like a shower had just passed.
They even passed by a statue depicting what he thought was a tall and impressive man with a very commanding presence and... unusually large eyebrows! He rode on a horse with his clenched fist on his heart and his eyes staring straight ahead and far beyond, ready to lead. On the back of his billowing cape, the same crest adorning the chest the man: the double black-and-white wings. Seeing this symbol everywhere he went, Falco wondered what the meaning behind these wings was - Honor? Glory? Justice? - but it was likely a long time before he found out.
Falco gave one last glance towards the statue, noting the similarities between it and the statue of Heros in Liberio. That was cast from bronze, this statue seemed to be carved from the toughest obsidian rock, the way it glittered beautifully under the sun. The man must have been their hero. Although he couldn't put his finger on it, compared to the image of Heros ruthlessly bearing down on the abominable monster, this one looked like he was boldly entering an unknown adventure; and Falco found that he liked this one a lot more.
They found the crowd fairly quickly. There were mostly men dressed in the same military garb as the man who had escorted him and Gabi. Again, they looked at them with distaste, disgust and even hatred - nothing Falco was unfamiliar with growing up in an Eldian ghetto. But these were Eldians too, and it hurt him somehow that they would look at him like that. He knew they had a reason to, he did: they were attending the funeral of a dead soldier, whom Gabi had killed and Falco had failed to save.
The soldiers and officers murmured and questioned, but the man guiding them gave the same reason he had given them: they needed to see this. He was a surprisingly reassuring presence, and Falco's belief that he could trust this man only grew stronger.
The man then rejoined another group, among whom there were a few Falco recognised from the night on the airship. They greeted each other and even hugged, and the relief and calmness that spread through them as they did made Falco want to turn his eyes away. He did and saw Gabi standing silently next to him, though no longer sullenly.
The man and his friends talked while the children sat in a row at the back, under the shade of a tree. An occasional glance was thrown their way, but they weren't conspiratory or full of accusation like he'd thought. He didn't really pay attention to their conversation, hoping to give them some privacy, until he heard a very crucial name:
"Is Eren not coming?" someone asked.
"He's not. You know he's in detention right now," said the tall Asian woman with black hair.
This news shook through Falco as the face of Mr. Krüger rematerialised, and Falco could feel Gabi clench her fist, straining to hear more of the conversation. But they said no more on the subject of Eren Jaeger, except:
"I'm glad that bastard isn't here. I don't think I could manage not to sock him in the eye after what happened," said the one with the light peach-fuzz on his head.
This statement shocked Falco a little. Weren't they allies? What has caused such bitterness and anger in their voices? Could it be that Eren Jaeger's position in Paradis was not all that popular? In detention... for a Shifter that could only mean somewhere deep underground...
After that, their group was joined by a middle-aged bearded man wearing black mourning clothes, donning a black wide-brimmed hat. He shook their hands and whispered thanks.
That was the killed girl's father, he later learned.
Soon it was time for their speech.
.
.
"Sasha and I, we go way back. Has it been 7 years? Geez, it felt longer than that," said Connie, scratching his head, letting a bit of the awkwardness he felt having to give a speech bleed through.
He continued on steadily, bravely. "I can't begin to count the numbers of times we saved each other's lives, the times we had each other's backs, or the number of times her bow and rifle saved us."
Deep breath.
"We've been through hell together, and we both survived by the skin of our teeth. So many times I've wondered what it would feel like when one of us does not come back, but after everything, I had hoped—" His face tightened. His voice broke off hoarsely. He seemed to struggle to untangle his tongue. "Well, ahem, I always thought it would be me who'd go first, you know? I don't have her spooky hearing, hunting instinct or her marksmanship. So why is it me who—?"
Connie never did finish his speech after that. His vision had become too blurred, too clouded. He took a hand to wipe the corner of his eyes, but ended up just covering them instead as his sadness washed down his face. He looked as battered as a reed pipe against a headwind. He took in a cutting breath, one that sounded like a great part of him had gone missing and moving it or even touching was too early, too painful that he retracted into himself like a man before a fire.
Connie could remember the last time he cried, and even the last time he thought crying was not a manly thing. But in front of a hundred people or more, all Connie could think of was how the warm of the sun felt like his friend's smiling face, and how the whole world would never seem quite right ever again.
.
.
Jean's turn was next. He gave the kids a gaze that told them to behave and moved on to the podium. That was the last time he paid them any attention during the entire ceremony. What a terrible mess Connie's speech was, it always came down to him after all to fix things up.
"Ah, how should I begin? The first time we were introduced as cadets, she pissed off the Instructor by stealing a potato and eat it in front of everyone."
That was the infamous story, right? The one everyone knew her by? The one that started it all?
"Some people say she's an idiot, and I believe that, too. She was an idiot, fighting with us for so long, joining the SC when she really could've had it easier with the MP. I don't know what made her stay after all these years, not like she was a suicidal bastard, or chasing high dreams and ideals, or had a personal thing for the Titans."
He made a dramatic sweep of the eye over the Survey Corps veterans at this, knowing he was calling each of them out. The sight of their hopeless faces made him chuckle in triumph.
"Nevertheless, she was one of the weirdest, most loyal people I have ever met. Heh, I gotta admit, it makes me sad to see her go… " He paused, deciding at the last moment to change his script. Otherwise, if she were here, Sasha would never have remained awake through his speech. "Aw, what the hell, Potato Girl, go raid heaven's kitchen for me, yeah? Say hi to everyone up there for me too. And I'll treat you your favourite meat when we see each other again."
Connie looked ready to cry to him, while Mikasa just had a look of pride.
.
.
"I had the opportunity of meeting Sasha when we were cadets in the Trainee Corps. We spent many hours together after class. I always tutored her before written exams." Armin's speech started out flowery and formal, as ever.
"She didn't understand everything I said, but she was always weirdly motivated, and she didn't look down on me because of my terrible 3DMG skills." There was a shy, self-deprecating laugh before he continued. "She was friendly to everyone she met. And no one could handle Instructor Shadis like her."
He could see Instructor Shadis physically shift in the crowd.
"She's the person to count on in tough times, and to diffuse the tension in better times. She was my comrade. Our precious comrade. I hope she knew, in her last moments, surrounded by her friends who love her, just how much we cherish her time with us. I only wish she had stayed with us longer. Goodbye, Sasha."
.
.
"…Many people knew Sasha as a glutton, or the girl from Dauper. I don't know…if there's a side to her that's personal to me. But we shared bunk beds for many years, and she snored a lot…even hit me while sleep-walking once. She liked to talk about hunting and her father, and wished to rebuild her village should she ever retire from the Corps. Sasha was a brave girl... I'll miss her drooling in her sleep."
Nobody expected Mikasa to be a great orator, but it had a warm simplicity that Mr. Braus seemed to particularly appreciate. His eyes shone brightly with pride, and yet filled with an infinite sorrow. Everyone had known Sasha for her infamous never-ending hunger and her weird, silly ways. Everyone had praised her instincts and her achievements, but here was a side to her that was normal, and though unintentionally, Mikasa had just reminded everyone. Sasha Braus was just a normal girl.
.
.
As the incumbent commander of the entire Corps, Hanji had the final speech.
"On behalf of the Survey Corps, I would like to thank everybody joining us today in remembrance of Sasha Braus. On behalf of the humanity behind the Walls, I would like to thank Sasha for her bravery and skill. We certainly would not have come so far without her."
Here, she stood tall and straight and put her hand on her heart. Everyone, without fore-plan, immediately followed suit and stood up in a final salute. Everyone in the Special Ops Squad. Even Captain Levi, Humanity's Strongest. Even the Queen.
"She was a true soldier," said Hanji. "Thank you, Sasha, and farewell."
.
.
"Are you taking us back to our cell?" Falco asked once the ceremony was over. The soldiers returned to their barracks and Hanji took a carriage straight for the Capital to deal with the aftermath of the Liberio attack. There will be another trial for Eren Jaeger.
"No. I am going to take you to the Cadet Corps," said Jean matter-factly. "Young people are allowed to enrol for training in the military from the age of 12. We don't have the resources to waste on you yet, so we can't keep locking you away like rats like this forever."
Gabi protested. "You said you wouldn't force us to become your soldiers! You lied!"
"I said, you won't be on the frontlines. You'll be with young boys and girls your age, learning to be useful. And you'll be kept under the supervision of our former commander. This is a kindness, after all that you've done to us."
"Kindness? Kindness?" she repeated, grinding her teeth.
"Enough, Gabi!" Falco yelled. They had just returned from a funeral. It was neither the time nor the place to spook previous hurts and weigh out justices.
The look he gave her stem further protest, but Gabi crossed her arms and stared stubbornly at the floor.
When the carriage had grown quiet, Falco looked to Jean, who was now watching him with some interest. "You're friends with Eren Jaeger, aren't you? Did you know anyone by the name Reiner Braun? He was in the, your military too, four years ago," he asked, carefully, hoping it would not be taken for an espionage attempt. It was a genuine question. He really wanted to learn more about them. Eren Jaeger had claimed they were all the same. How did his statement hold against the truth, his own observation, was what he wanted to find out.
There was some clear hesitance, but finally Jean gave his answer.
"…I knew him."
Falco was emboldened by this answer, hopeful that this was the first sign of trust. Dared he hope that something more could be achieved between the two warring sides?
He asked his next question tentatively.
"Did the girl who d-died knew him too?"
"She did."
No one said anything for a long time after that.
Within his own thoughts, Falco suddenly recalled the girl's father. The man had never cried once during the ceremony. Yet when everyone had left and he was the only one standing in front of the new grave of his daughter, Falco was sure he had never seen a shadow more anguished, or more alone. Falco remembered his parents and elder brother, and his heart ached at the thought that they might be weeping for him too.
"I'm sorry," he said. "It makes no difference to you, but I am."
Jean raised his brow in an expression of incredulous surprise. "Aren't you proud you took down a devil from Paradis?" he responded wryly.
"No…" Falco said, realising it was the truth. "Th-Thank you for letting us come to the funeral today."
"…It's nothing."