Summary: Iroh's sick, and the only cure involves, of course, cabbages. After cursing this cruel twist of fate, Katara sends Sokka out to find the cabbage merchant, lest he incur the wrath of… Well, everyone.

Author's Note: Ha ha, oh my! I forgot about this! This was done completely for humor, even though it's not even funny. It's like, the adventures of Sokka! It really helps me release some of my stress. It's short, but is chaptered, so it'll be more than my usual one-shot approach. Well, I hope you enjoy it, even with my not-funny-sense-of-humor.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The last Airbender. But that would be pretty awesome, have to admit.

Chapter One

Anything Else

"Cabbages."

"Yep."

"No. Anything but them!"

"I'm sorry, Sokka, can't be helped."

Sokka released a groan, covering his face with his hands and shaking his head. Why was fate so cruel?! He had always been a good kid! He ate his vegetables, took baths (occasionally), and was helping to save the world. Surely that would have to get him brownie points with the Spirits, but noo, that just wasn't good enough for them. He had to go get stinking, no good cabbages!

Now, no normal person would care about such a thing. They would likely just say something along the lines of "So what?" and head to the nearest market, which was generally full of a multitude of people selling their wares from all different nations. It would be no small matter for a normal person to get a cabbage.

But Sokka wasn't a normal person.

Having traveled with the Avatar for several months, Sokka considered himself as fairly knowledgable in the subject of… Avatarness. But even he had no idea why, why on EARTH the group always had to ruin the plans of one person. (Eh, well, one person who wasn't involved with the fire nation to his knowledge.) And, it would figure that this person was the only one who sold the correct kind of cabbages for the tea Iroh needed to be healed.

"I'm sorry Sokka, but you have to do it." Katara continued, tapping her foot impatiently. Sokka had no idea why she was impatient. I mean, sure she wanted to help Iroh get healed, but what else did she have to do around here, really? She was probably going to go make-out with Aang, or something. Logging that thought away and mentally reminding himself to give the air bender the "Dad'd-not-here-so-the-big-brother-has-to-threaten-you-talk" the next time he saw him.

Then logged away the thought to come up with said talk.

"But why me?! Can't you go? Toph, Zuko, Aang?!' Sokka continued, practically on his knees begging his younger sister not to send him. The cabbage merchant may seem helpless, but oh no, he wasn't. Sokka had seen that look in his eyes every time they ruined his cabbages. He wanted revenge.

Or at least to be paid for the damages.

"We're busy, Sokka! Aang and Zuko have to train, and me and Toph are looking after Iroh. Besides, don't you want to see him better, too?" Katara cast him a glare, and Sokka could only nod feebly. Soon after Zuko had joined Iroh had joined up with them, saying he had some important information to tell them. Of course, that was lost in the insane amounts of crazily random things that had happened to them since, for what would the group be without freak occurences? However, he had gotten sick as of late, and now the task had fallen to Sokka to help him.

Toph gave a cough from the corner where she had been leaning. She stood up, giving Sokka a threatening look and cracking her knuckles, causing the rocks around her to jump up and down.

"Listen, Sokka," She started out, sounding as if she was going to make him "an offer he couldn't refuse."

"If you don't help my good buddy Iroh, there might be some consequences, if you catch my drift." She sounded rather menacing for a young girl, but then Sokka was generally intimidated by her anyway. H shrunk back and she continued her announcement.

"So, it would be in your best interests to do what the nice lady says and get those cabbages. Catch my drift?" She finished, earth bending a rock underneath him so that he fell to the ground with a 'meh!'

"Okay, okay!" He said, frantically scurrying to his feet. Sokka, the Warrior. Lone defender of the Southern Water Tribe, strong member of Team Avatar, plan and invention maker and great leader.

And also frightened of a twelve-year old.

"And maybe," Toph continued, her voice changing so drastically that Sokka had to look over at her to make sure it was her who was talking. "If you get it, I'll give you a kiss as a reward!" She proclaimed, causing Sokka to fimply fall over in his attempts to stand back up, giving a small "What?!"

Katara had been completely ignoring them, probably braiding her hair or something, but she now entered the conversation.

"So, then, you'd better get going! I've got to go… Review water bending with Aang." She said the last part a little hastily, and Sokka raised his eyebrow, opening his mouth to speak. Too bad, though, because this was the trigger that caused Toph to earthbend, making earth jut out at him and send him flying forward, screaming like a girl.

"Get going now!" She demanded, getting ready to repeat the action.

"No way, I'm going!" Sokka yelled, running as fast as he could in the other direction. Surely there must be a town somewhere up ahead, anywhere. He was postitive that the cabbage merchant would be there; After all, he was never far from the Gaang. I mean, it was like he was a stalker of something, with the amount of time they ran into him! So it wasn't really a matter of finding the merchant as obtaining his wares.

It wasn't until the others were absolutely sure that he was gone that Aang, Zuko, and Iroh returned. Amazingly, Iroh didn't seem to be sick at all.

"He gone yet?" Zuko asked, sitting down on a rock.

"Yep." Toph replied, gesturing towards the still protruding rocks, proud of her handiwork.

"Okay, so I get why you guys might've wanted Sokka out of the way for a bit…" Aang started, scratching his once-again bald head in confusion. "…But why did we have to send him to get cabbages, of all things?"

"To make my tea, of course! Cabbage tea is a very rare delicacy, I'll have you know!" Iroh informed them, grinning at the idea of the delicious tea he would soon be tasting. Everyone stuck out their tounges and made noises of disgust except for Toph. She nodded her head.

"That sounds good!"

Author's Note: Well, there's the first part. It's not funny, more of a set-up for the funny? If it can even be called that. xD Really short, too.

Sokka's one of my favorite characters; Can you tell?

But, anyway, coming up in the next chapter:

Sokka gets lost, of course. How on earth would he know where he was going? Coming up with the conclusion that his "instincts" must be on vacation, he decides to rely on his learned locating skills to find the city. …Good luck with that, Sokka.