This is my first time writing for SuperLane and I have a few things to say.
First of all, I have to thank roryteller for betaing this story and giving me advice.
Secondly, it's an High School AU story so of course I changed a bit the characterization. Doesn't mean I hate any canon ship and/or character.
Thirdly, I love happy endings, just saying.
I hope you'll like it.
It's all about pretending. That's all I have to do. Pretend. One day after the other, pretend like she doesn't affect you at all and you should be good. Right, I don't know why I keep pep-talking myself every morning, I know it's completely useless. I'll be all confident while in my car but once I make eye contact with her, I'm screwed all over again. How I hate you Lucy Lane, you and your piercing green eyes. Ok, I don't actually hate her like at all. It's more like I'm slowly but surely falling in love with her and I can't seem to be able to stop this. That's about the only thing I hate about Lucy Lane. How weak she makes me with just one smile. And she's supposed to be my best friend at that! Cliché right? Just to prove my point, let's see.
She's not gay but I've got the biggest crush ever on my best friend… Check.
She got a boyfriend, hot, tall, artistic… Check.
Oh, and she's on the cheer squad just because she's got a killer body and knows how to shake it. Check.
And, of course, only my sister knows about this and she takes every chances she gets to embarrass me. Check.
My life is such a cheesy rom-com and I hate it.
"Hey there cupcake." I hear someone calling me and I immediately feel a smile make its way on my face. Damn you Lucy Lane.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" I ask her once she's standing right next to my car.
"Because you're sweet, just like a cupcake."
"Right."
Not that I don't believe her but my twisted gay mind came up with another explanation. One that gives into my deepest fantasies so I'll just keep it to myself. Good idea.
Since we only have 10 minutes until the bell rings, announcing the first class of the day, I start walking toward Lucy's locker. Since I'm such a gentlewoman, I escort her there every morning. Not that it should be my job. Doesn't she have a boyfriend who's supposed to do that? I'm totally not complaining though, just wondering.
"Do I sense sarcasm here?" She teases once she catches up with me.
"Maybe?"
"Come on Kara! Tell me!"
And then she just has to bring out the puppy dog eyes, of course. I never seemed able to resist it. Who could? It's literally the cutest thing ever.
"Ok fine." I lean against the locker next to Lucy's before speaking. "I find it weird that you would compare me to a cupcake is all. I mean, I know exactly how much you love eating them." I explain, proud of the blush that slowly appears on her cheeks. "But, most importantly, every time you call me 'cupcake', I keep thinking about how you like licking all the frosting on top before you even start to actually eat it and…"
"Alright, I get it. No need to emphasize every last possible innuendos, thank you very much."
"You put yourself in this. All alone."
"Didn't picture you as such a pervert Kara."
"You asked for it!" I counter.
"I know. But let me just say that I am seeing you in an entirely different way now miss Danvers."
I simply smile as an answer as we make our way to my locker this time. If you were wondering, yes, I'm openly gay. I was really nervous about telling Lucy but since she has known, she hasn't changed a thing about our friendship. We still end up cuddling during movie nights and she still hugs me on a daily basis (that I'm really thankful for). She has been great and it didn't help my cause at all. Well at least now I don't have to play it straight anymore and that's a plus.
"Anyway," Lucy breaks me out of my daydream. "I was thinking about an Orphan Black marathon."
"Tonight?"
"Assuming you didn't watch it without me already…"
"Of course not!" I take the books I'll need for classes from my locker and then close it. "Everyone will be out tonight anyway; it definitely calls for girl's night."
"Great." She smiles at me and my stomach is doing that funny thing again. Come on, get a grip Danvers! "James is waiting for me, I should go."
"Yeah, sure." I manage to get out before she leaves. "Hey Lucy!" She turns around to face me again, a few feet away now. "Call me if you need anything."
"Same goes for you." And again that evil smile. It's actually a really bright and beautiful smile, it's just what it's doing to me that's evil.
The rest of the day is just the same boring hell as usual. Now that I officially have Lucy Lane all for myself and that for the whole evening, I'm an eager mess. These things you do to me Lucy, they should be illegal. I've spotted her a few times around the day but she was always with that arm candy she calls a boyfriend. I don't hate James, mostly because I can't seem to actually hate anyone, but more so because we were friends growing up. Kind of. Okay and maybe my oblivious seven-year-old self had a tiny crush on him. I legitimately can't blame Lucy for falling for James Olsen. He's nice, kinda cute (I mean this in a totally platonic way, I'm so over that stupid crush) and he's an artist. The things he does with that camera in his hands. But still, as charming as he may be, he's still the one who gets to kiss Lucy whenever he wants and that alone seems like a valuable reason to be unable to stand him, right?
But now that school is over, the only thing I have to think about is how I'm gonna fight the temptation. No matter how many times we already cuddled, it's still a challenge every time it happens. Fight that urge I have to kiss her or to simply tell her how I feel. I can't. She's happy with James and I'm happy with being just her friend. Better that than nothing. Damn, I really am a walking cliché.
Once I get in my car, I take a look at my phone and see that Alex sent me a text.
Alex: How's the lovesick puppy doing?
Me: I'm not a lovesick puppy!
Alex: Oh you so are.
Me: Will you just stop?!
Alex: I'll stop when your feelings for lil' Lane do.
Me: Meaning probably never?
Alex: Precisely
Me: I hate you.
Alex: No you don't
Me: Depends. You recorded Orphan Black?
Alex: Oh. Are you and wifey having girl's night again?
Me: Stop calling her that!
Alex: You so wish it was true
Me: Exactly and you're a painful reminder that it will never ever EVER happen.
Alex: Listen. You're an idiot, grow a pair and tell her the truth. Until you decide to do so, I'll be teasing you.
Me: Fine then, have fun.
Alex: Oh I am.
Just as I was about to put my phone away, I get a call from Lucy. I answer as fast as I can, questioning the reason for the call since we're just about to see each other like right now.
"Lucy! What's up?"
"Hey, uh… Are you still at school?"
"I was just about to leave. Why?"
"I might need a ride."
"You might get one if you hurry. I'm kind of already late for that movie night thing with my best friend and she gets super mad every time I'm late so..."
"I'll be there in a sec." she confirms with a laugh.
She climbs in the passenger side of the car not even a minute later with a smile that doesn't exactly reach her eyes. I'm not stupid (no matter how many times Alex says so), I know for a fact that it's usually James that drives her home after school but since she's coming over, it'll be my job for tonight.
"You know, he's jealous of you." Lucy says out of the blue.
"Who's jealous?"
"James."
"What? He is jealous of me? But why?"
"You get to spend the night with me."
"And he gets to kiss you every day. Out of the both of us, he's the lucky bastard."
"He doesn't see it that way apparently." She admits with a sigh.
"Then he's an idiot."
"He said something about the way you look at me. How he thinks you're… kind of… into me?"
Oh shit. Am I that obvious? I guess so if even James noticed it. But then, Lucy is still completely oblivious to my feelings for her. Least she was until today. All of this is making me extremely nervous and, as usual when I'm nervous, I break into a fit of giggles.
"Nah, he's just… He takes everything out of its context. I mean… of course I look at you like you're one of the most important people in my life right now but that's just because you are. You're my best friend, right?"
"Yes, and that's exactly why you should tell me if you did have those kind of feelings."
"I don't, ok? Just because I'm gay it doesn't mean I'm drooling over every girl I talk to."
"I know that. We've been friends for years now, you would've done something already, right?"
"Unless I'm really good at pretending."
"You're a terrible liar Kara." She's teasing, she's only teasing. If I wasn't any good at lying, she wouldn't believe me now, would she?
"We're so not talking about guys tonight anyway." I claim as I park my car in front of my house. "Or girls for that matter. Or dating in general. Tonight it's just you and me watching Orphan Black while we stuff our faces with pizza."
"Sounds perfect." She smiles at me. And here come the butterflies again.
"Let's go then."
Three episodes and a pizza later, she's resting her head against my shoulder. I try to focus on the show that's playing but she's just so close and so warm and she smells so freaking nice… Nope, Kara, no. You are so not going there again. Not when Lucy is here. God but she's just so cute when she's sleepy!
"Wanna go to bed?" I ask softly, not wanting to startle her.
"I don't want to move. You're comfy."
"Fine then I'll carry you, sleepyhead."
"Sure."
She's finally closed her eyes and I know she won't move now. She probably doesn't believe that I am capable of carrying her around the house but I'll just prove her wrong. Carefully, I take her in my arms, bridal style, and she just throws her arms around my neck. What have I gotten myself into?
"So you really are strong." she says barely opening her eyes.
"Come on, we both know even Superman's got nothing on me."
"If you say so."
I wouldn't say that she's talking anymore, it's more like mumbling and I have to actually pay close attention to understand. Still, I wouldn't want it any other way. This feels right, having her around, taking care of her. I didn't need this to acknowledge that I probably won't find a love quite like this ever again, apart from the fact that everything is one-sided. Let a girl dream folks!
Week-ends are so boring. At least they are when Lucy is spending all her time with James. I'm left playing video games and they're fun… for a while. Maybe I'm a bit of a sore loser but you would be too if you had to play against Winn. That guy should get a life. And maybe I should too. Get a life I mean. One that doesn't revolve around one Lucy Lane. It might help. Speak of the devil, she's calling.
"Hey Lucy."
"Hi there, cupcake!" she tries to sound cheery but even through the phone I know it's just a façade. Something happened.
"Everything ok?"
"Can I come over?"
"Yeah, sure but I thought you'd spend the day with James."
"Something came up. I'll explain later, I'm on my way right now."
"No way. I'm picking you up."
"I'm perfectly capable of walking Kara."
"I know that but it's about to rain." As I speak, I'm already getting ready to leave. I quickly grab a towel and my car keys before heading out. "I'm leaving now. Where are you exactly?"
"I just left James' house."
"Be right there."
While I'm driving, I try not to think too much about the reason for her call. Did Lucy and James have a fight? If so that would mean he is even more of an idiot than I'll ever be. I don't even want to think about it. I'll just drive and let the car heat because it's already pouring outside and I'm pretty sure Lucy will be drenched. I stop near James' house and she immediately hops in the car. Without saying anything, I hand her the towel I brought and drive away.
"You're a life saver." Lucy finally speaks once we turn off the street.
"No, I'm just your best friend. But you're right, it's pretty much the same thing."
"Thank you."
"I told you, I'm only one call away."
Finally, that smile again. Warm and sincere. I don't know what happened and I don't actually care for that matter. I just want to be her safe place right now. So, once we're back at my place, I let her change into some of my clothes.
"You can't stay in those clothes; you're soaking wet Lucy."
"And that's exactly how you like them, don't you Kara?" She asks me with that sly smile of hers.
"Keep your innuendos to yourself Lane and go change into something dry."
"Fine."
She's totally trying to kill me, right? Damn you Lucy Lane, damn you.
"What happened exactly?" I ask her once we're settled on my bed.
"He cheated."
"He what?!" I immediately get up and start pacing around my room. I see red. He's one lucky bastard and he wastes his chance for nothing. "He's so dead."
"Kara, no."
"He screwed up big time and you're just sitting here like it's nothing!"
"Because I'm not wasting any more time on him. I was perfectly fine before him and I will be now."
"You know I try not to hate anyone. Bad feelings lead to bad decisions but right now…! God I could kill him with my bare hands!"
"Why are you so mad? I'm the one who's been cheated on, not you."
"I know."
"Please, don't do anything stupid."
"Like what? Rip his balls off when I see him?"
"Yes. That kind of stupid thing. He's not worth it Kara." Oh I know that. I'm really trying to calm down and drowning myself in her eyes seems to do the trick.
"I'm sorry." I apologize as I sit right back next to her. "It's just… You're amazing and you deserve so much better than this."
"Exactly. I won't cry over him; I just want to forget."
"I could help you with that."
"Good, because I really need a hug like right now."
I'm so not saying no to that. I just have the time to smile at her before she throws herself at me and buries her head in the crook of my neck. How I love that she's so tiny.
"You give the best hugs ever." She mumbles, her lips against my skin. Dear God please save me!
It's been 3 weeks since Lucy and James broke up and she didn't even cry once. On the bright side, now that she's single I get to spend more time with her and that's always a plus. Or maybe not. I quickly came to realize that without James in the picture, I have no excuses anymore. When Lucy was dating him, I could always pretend that I didn't want to be the one breaking her happy bubble but now? Now she's just irresistible and I'm dying every day a little bit more. I'm such a mess. Maybe I should just tell her, call her and finally admit the truth. I should but I'm scared. Of course, she has to call me now, just to make this a little bit more chaotic.
"Lucy?"
"Hi, Kara." It doesn't take me long to understand that something happened. Her voice is different, shaky and raspy and the same time.
"What happened? Are you ok?"
"I don't know… yet. I mean, I might be?"
"What's going on?" I'm started to think this is bigger than expected. I have like a thousand scenarios going wild in my head right now and I sure as hell hope to be wrong.
"I may be in need of a pregnancy test."
"You may?"
"I don't know how this happened. We were using protection every time but now I'm late and… and I don't want to be… God why is this happening to me?"
"Hold on Lucy. Take a deep breath and try to calm down, ok?" Through the phone, I hear her try to do just that. "Better now?" I ask her once her breathing has evened out.
"I think so."
"Ok then I'll be at your door in a few. Let me just grab what we need."
"Thank you."
"Hey, I'm sure it's just a false alarm and when this test will say that you're definitely are pregnant, we'll laugh about it."
"Can we just skip right to that part of your plans?"
"Unfortunately we can't but I'm here to make it bearable."
"I know. My hero."
"Well I try."
"Don't be long, please."
"Anything."
Less than half an hour later, we're in Lucy's ensuite bathroom waiting for the inevitable. I don't know how to cheer her up. This isn't something I can make better. Not right now anyway. This is way too big and even I am way too nervous to come up with something to comfort her.
"Time's up." I say softly once my phone rings, indicating that three minutes passed.
"Could you look at it. I'm too scared to do it myself."
"Yeah, sure." No problem here at all. It's not like I have to announce some horrible news.
"So this is the part where we start laughing at this all, right?" She asks with a halfhearted chuckle.
"You're pregnant."
She's been sitting against the opposite wall all this time which is a good thing. She's so pale I fear for a second that she might pass out. I take a seat next to her and do the only thing I feel capable of right now; I engulf her in a hug.
"You'll be OK."
"How am I gonna get out of this? I'm only seventeen, this shouldn't happen. I can't raise a kid alone."
"You're not telling James?"
"And have something bounding me to him forever? No thanks."
"Still, you're not alone."
"I can't even tell my parents. They'll kick me out right on the spot or force me to get an abortion."
"And you don't want to."
"No, I can't even think about it."
"Lucy, I'll be here OK? No matter what time of the day, no matter what for; I'll be here as long as you want me to."
"I can't put that much pressure on your shoulders."
"You're not, I am and I want to."
"What have I ever done to deserve you?"
"You're Lucy Lane and that alone seems like a good enough reason for me to stay. No matter what."
"Could you just… hold me for now?"
"Yeah, I can do that."
I don't know how long we just sat there, Lucy sobbing in my arms with her face buried in the crook of my neck. She's having a baby. She's having James' baby. I'm playing it cool but I'm boiling inside. I'm mad at him for not being more careful. I'm mad at him for putting Lucy through such a hard time. But, most importantly, I'm mad at him for not doing the right thing.
"Do you mind staying tonight?" Lucy asks once she's calmed down enough to form a sentence. "I don't think I can handle being alone right now."
"I'll stay as long as you want me to."
Things didn't go that well after that. Once Lucy told her parents about her pregnancy, they reacted exactly how she said they would; they kicked her out. It wasn't hard convincing my parents to let her stay with us for the time being. Of course, they wanted to know what happened but it wasn't my place to tell so I let Lucy decide when she wanted to. As for my part, I'm basically playing house with her right now. It's confusing, it really is. She's four mouth into her pregnancy and I might be a little overprotective. Just a bit. I can explain, though. In all of my wildest dreams, she would be mine by now. We would be having this baby together, for real. But really, it's all my fault. I should have talked to her earlier, like Alex said. Talking about my annoying big sister, she's staying over for the week-end and, now that Lucy is living with us, I'm pretty sure she won't stop with the teasing.
That's why we're currently hiding in my bedroom. Officially, we're doing our homework. Unofficially, I am doing my homework while Lucy is resting on my bed.
"I'm craving cinnamon rolls."
"You never liked cinnamon rolls."
"I still don't. Looks like the little one in there isn't on the same page." She explains with one of her hands resting on her belly. "It's taking after you way too much for my likings."
"It's not even mine." I remind her with a smile so she knows that I actually don't mind her saying that.
"I know."
I'm currently putting my jacket and shoes on under Lucy's gaze. She's still not moving though and, once I'm ready, I face her again.
"Need anything else?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm gonna go get your cinnamon rolls so you better tell me now if you're craving anything else."
"You don't have to do this."
"Oh I know. I'm not doing this entirely for you. You're giving me a good excuse for getting food. So, need anything else?"
"Ice cream. Mint chocolate chip and Rocky Road."
"You're weird." I finally admit. Not my fault if she's getting flavors she normally resents.
"I'm not!"
"Then your kid is."
"You're rubbing it in."
"I'll let you have the last word, but only because I'm going."
I'm about to leave, for real this time, but Lucy stops me again. She comes to stand in front of me. So close I can see the gold outline in her eyes.
"Thank you."
"You're saying that like ten times a day. I think I get it by now."
"You've been helping me 24/7, I owe you so much."
"Don't." I immediately interrupt her before she can even think about rambling on how she will never be able to repay me. "You're my best friend Lucy and if I didn't help you through this, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Get that in your head; I'm staying by your side through everything."
She doesn't reply, she's just staring at me with teary eyes and her lips slightly parted. How I just wish I could kiss them right on the spot. She's clearly unaware of the effect she has on me. Suddenly, she's hugging me real tight, knocking the air out of my lungs but I'm quick to recover, returning the gesture. Her head is resting on my shoulder and her arms are around my waist. I try to take everything in. The way her body feels against mine, how she smells of roses and lavender (something so entirely Lucy), how she's so tiny but, somehow, fits perfectly against me.
"I… I should go." I stutter as I step out of her embrace. "Yeah, I'll just leave to… go get your food."
"Okay."
I stumble my way downstairs, trying to get rid of all the feelings this hug just brought back. She has way too much effect on me, I don't know what to do to avoid this anymore. And of course, I run into Alex before I even reach the front door.
"Going somewhere?"
"The store. I need food." I reply, pushing her out of my way to get to the door.
"You're whipped."
"Trust me, I know."
I've been to every doctor's appointments for the past five months but this one is probably the most nerve wracking so far. This is the day when we supposedly get to know the baby's gender and why am I so excited? It's not my baby for Heaven's sake! Okay, but it's Lucy's so it's basically the same. I'm currently driving us to the doctors when Lucy interrupts my thoughts.
"I came up with names."
"You don't even know what it is yet."
"True. Which is why I came up with two names for each and I'd like your opinion."
"Sure, yeah." I'm so not comfortable with this. Baby names now, really?
"Ok. Liam or Kylan." She's looking at me expectantly and I quickly come to realize what she's waiting for.
"Am I supposed to pick one?"
"Well yes."
"You're giving me the last word on your baby's name?"
"I can't pick, ok? It was hard enough to narrow down the list so please?" Welcome back puppy eyes, I didn't miss you at all.
"Liam Lane, sounds good, don't you think?"
"It does." She agrees with that warm smile of hers. "Lena or Kaylie."
"Kaylie." That one wasn't hard. Kaylie Danvers, it's perfect. Wait, no! I meant Lane. Kaylie Lane. Still good.
"How do you make everything so easy?"
"I just… I don't know… I listen to my heart I guess."
"Don't ever change that, please."
"Not a chance." I assure her with a smile.
Later that night, I come back to my room after a much needed shower only to find Lucy lying casually in my bed.
"You know you have your own room, right?"
"I can't sleep alone anymore."
"What do you mean?" Concern is probably written all over my face at this point.
"Whatever position I try to sleep in, it always seems uncomfortable at this point. But when you hold me it just…" she lets out a small sigh. "You're making everything better and I don't want to be so dependent but the truth is; I need you."
You know what? I'm just gonna leave this room and pretend this is all a dream. Right. Who am I kidding? She needs me, for real. And I'm more than happy to be her everything if she wants me to.
"Does it bother you?" She asks after my lack of responses. "I could always just…"
"No!" Ok, maybe that came out a bit louder than expected. "I mean, it's not a problem Lucy. At all. I'm your favorite pillow after all."
"You're my favorite everything actually. But, you know, minor details."
God I can feel myself blushing. Like crimson red I'm sure. Probably just hormones talking but I'll take what I can get. I try to compose myself before getting ready for bed. After I've crawled under the covers next to her, Lucy starts snuggling against me.
"You're not seeing anyone lately, are you?" She asks once she's found a comfortable position.
"No."
"Why?"
"I don't know." I try not to look at her since I'm bluntly lying to her right now. "It's not like I have much choice anyway."
"I heard someone the other day, talking about you in that way."
"What do you mean?"
"I think Cat is kind of into you." Lucy admits so softly that I'm pretty sure I heard wrong.
"Wait, we're talking about Cat Grant right? School newspaper's editor?" I feel more than see her nodding at that. "Why would she like me? Why would she even acknowledge me?"
"Because you're great Kara and it's about time you realize that." She lifts herself up just so she can stare right into my soul. At least that's how it feels like. "You're so oblivious of the effect you have on people, I'm still not sure if I find it more annoying or endearing. Everyone, and I mean it, everyone would be damn lucky to have you in their life."
"You really think so?" My voice is so weak I can't believe it's me talking.
"No. I know so."
Why does she have to say things like that? Of course she doesn't know about my feelings for her and she actually believed me when I assured her I never looked at her that way. Still, she shouldn't say things like that and not expect me to feel like kissing her.
"Just think about it, please. You have every right in the world to go out and date. I don't want to hold you back from having a normal adolescence just because I don't have one."
"You're not. I'm here because I want to. I'd rather take care of you than go out and waste my time with random girls. I wouldn't change a thing even if you gave me the chance."
"You're sure?"
"Yes." I assure her as I put a loose strand of her hair back behind her ear. "You're not holding me back at all Lucy. I enjoy spending time with you, a lot. And helping you? It's my number one priority right now because you deserve this. You deserve someone who takes care of you, you deserve someone who puts you first and I'll be that person for as long as you need me to. Without a doubt."
"How you're still single is a mystery to me, honestly."
"I'm just waiting for the right girl."
"Well she'll be one lucky bitch, that's for sure."
I don't even have the heart to reprimand her about her swearing. I'm pretty sure I'm going to explode. Every day holds a new share of tortures for me all coming from the one girl who's snuggling against me. I won't survive this, that much is clear.
"You must have type though, right?" Lucy asks again just when I thought she dropped the 'dating' subject.
"Doesn't everyone?"
"You never told me."
"Why should I?"
"So I can start playing matchmaker. Come on, you would totally do the same thing for me." Oh no I wouldn't.
"Yeah, probably." Well, since I have no way out of this one… "I like brunettes I guess."
"You guess?"
"Fine, I definitely like brunettes. Preferably tinier than me, better to cuddle."
"Trust me I know that." Don't you know I'm totally describing you right now? And I'm the oblivious one, really Lucy?
"I never really thought about it to be honest. I'm just waiting and I'll see. Does it matter if I have a type? You don't choose who you fall for."
"You're right." She seems to gradually relax and I know she's falling asleep.
"You're tired."
"I know."
"Don't fight it for me. We can always talk tomorrow. Or the day after. Or even the day after that."
"Ok, I'll try."
For a few minutes, I can only hear her breathing. I start playing with her hair, knowing she loves it when I do just that. It always seemed to do the trick and get her to fall asleep quicker. Tonight though, someone else isn't as tired as we are. About ten minutes after we stopped talking, I feel Lucy tense against me.
"Everything ok?"
"She just kicked me." Well that's a new one. "Wait, here." Lucy then just takes my hands and puts it on her bump where I can clearly feel something pushing against my hand. "You feel it?"
"Yes."
My voice is barely a whisper. I can't believe what I just acknowledged. This is all too much for me. How am I supposed to keep my feelings at bay when we're constantly playing happy couples with kid on the way? A happy couple who doesn't kiss but still! When our eyes cross paths again, I realize that Lucy's hand is still over mine and everything seems right at this moment. Her gaze is burning my very soul but I can't break it.
"Looks like Kaylie isn't tired."
"She might not be but you are. This little one will just have to deal with it." I lay back down on the bed and wait for Lucy to come snuggle into my arms again.
"Maybe a little singing will help her calm down."
"I don't sing." I answer automatically, getting a 'don't bullshit me' look from Lucy. "Fine, I'll sing." She smiles at me and puts her head back on my shoulder. "The things I wouldn't do for you Lucy Lane." I whisper softly.
"I know. Told you you're great."
It's not like she could have hid it forever. She's starting to show, she quitted cheerleading and she broke up with James. People are quick to put two and two together. I would have given anything to protect her from this but this is something she has to deal with alone. Of course James would hear about it and, of course, Lucy would rather talk to him in private. Without me. Whatever is happening to her right now, I have no clue. They're talking in the backyard and I can see them from my bedroom's window but I can't hear a single word and this is frustrating. I don't want her to fall right back in his arms. She can't be that naïve right? She wouldn't fall for any of the pretty lies he might come up with now, would she? Of course not. She's smarter than that.
I'm trying to focus on something else entirely but it's kind of hard when I'm used to know every little things happening in Lucy's life. She will tell me, eventually, so no need to bother with this now. About half an hour later, Lucy comes back in my room and throws herself on the bed.
"How did it go?" I ask after a few minutes of complete silence.
"I don't know. It was awkward."
"Does he want to be a part of her life?"
"Of course not. He got a full scholarship from Mass Art, he's not really the type to give up on his dream. Not even for me. I was never an option for him."
"He's an idiot."
"Trust me, I know that." She looks pensive and maybe a bit sad.
"Want a hug?" I offer, not knowing what else to do.
"Will it magically make everything better?"
"There's only one way to find out."
I really thought Lucy's entire family would disown her at this point so I have every right in the world to be surprised by Lois stopping by. Lucy just started on her seventh month of pregnancy and everything seems to rush all at once. She's even tried to call her mom one time saying that she was just doing what her father told her to. I don't care what happened. I was the one taking care of Lucy all those months. Not Lois, not her mother and most certainly not James. Me.
"Ok, what's going on?" Alex pulls me out of my daydream.
"Nothing."
"Is this about Lucy and Lois going out tonight?"
"No, of course not. Lucy needs someone else by her side. I can't be the only one."
"You wish you were."
"Maybe." I admit sheepishly.
"Just do something!"
"Like what? I can't tell her the truth now. She's pregnant, she already has enough on her plate."
"You're finding every excuses possible to avoid this but it won't work. Not with me anyway." She puts both her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to face her. "This is killing you and I won't sit back and watch it. You deserve to be happy too Kara. Don't miss that chance you have."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"I'm scared!" I finally admit. "This isn't just about me. I have to think about Lucy and her child now. Everything including Lucy automatically includes her daughter now and that… that's terrifying me more than anything else."
"How did you put yourself in such a position?"
"I didn't listen to you in the first place. But I'll be okay. Lucy is not the only girl in the world; I'll fall in love again. Right?" I try not to sound desperate, falling miserably.
"You're right."
Hopefully my heart will get out of this without major damages.
I didn't expect it to happen this way. I thought I'd be with Lucy whenever her waters decided to break and not in the middle of class. Thankfully I'm able to leave right away and I immediately drive to the hospital. There things get a bit more complicated. Legally, I'm not Lucy's family so I shouldn't be allowed inside but I'm not giving up. Ultimately, they lead me to her and thank God she hasn't fully gotten into labor yet. I rush at her side, taking her hand in the process and earning one of her beautiful smiles.
"I knew you'd come."
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." I assure her.
"I just want all of this to be over."
"Soon it will. And we'll laugh about it." It does the trick, getting a slight chuckle out of her.
"How do you do this?"
"Do what?"
"Every time I feel like giving up, every time I feel like hope is gone, I just have to run into your arms and somehow you will make it all better."
"I guess it's kind of like my superpower."
"Something like that, yeah."
We've been in there for more than ten hours and she's finally here. Little Kaylie Lane. Thank God she's taken so much after Lucy, it makes it easier. Once the doctors made sure everything is okay with her, they hand me the baby and I don't even have time to protest before she's resting in my arms. She's so tiny I'm scared I'll break her. I think I'm in love. Damn me.
I'm being lead back to Lucy's room but I don't even care about the world around. I'm on auto-pilot, giving my full attention to the little angel staring right back at me. Of course she had to have her mother's eyes! I hear a door close behind me which takes me out of my awe. I'm in Lucy's room, she's here, laying on the bed staring at me too. Those eyes…
I get closer to Lucy, taking a seat on the bed without breaking eye contact.
"You should take her." I whisper, incapable of talking louder right now. Lucy nods and takes her daughter in her arms, giving me the opportunity to acknowledge the most beautiful moment ever.
"Hey there little one."
She's positively glowing, literally. I don't know what to do right now so I just sit here and silently watch them. My two favorite girls. But then, Lucy looks back at me and, without a word, slightly moves, leaving half of the bed empty.
"Come here." She requests and more than happy to oblige. Once I'm settled, she puts her head on my shoulder, still carefully holding Kaylie, and I put my arm around Lucy's shoulder.
"You did a pretty good job. She's beautiful."
"That she is." We stay silent for a few minutes before Lucy addresses me. "Kara?"
"Yes."
"I couldn't have make it through all of this without you."
"I doubt that. You're a badass."
"Everyone needs support and you're the only one I got. Still, I feel like I took way too much from you and you never asked for anything in return."
"You couldn't give it to me anyway." I mumble, hoping she doesn't hear it.
"I think I could. I mean, you lied straight to my face but I don't really blame you."
"Wait, you know?"
"Don't be mad but… Alex told me. And I kind of suspected it already."
"Listen, I didn't try anything for a reason."
"You're scared, I know. But it's ok because, for once, I can be brave for the both of us."
I was still trying to get the meaning behind this when I suddenly felt her lips on mine. She's kissing me. Her lips are on mine. Oh my God, breathe. No, don't! Kiss back. Just kiss back and stop thinking.
I've been waiting for this since freshman year and now… Now I can't believe it's actually happening. Not only the fact that we're kissing but there is meaning behind it. She knows how I feel about her (still have to talk with Alex about this though) and she's here anyway. Kissing me. I need to breath, for real this time.
"W-Why?" I stutter after a few seconds.
"You're kidding, right?" I manage to breath out a small 'no' before she continues. "You've been there all this time. You helped me even when I didn't want you to. You did everything you could, everything I asked. But most importantly, you made me feel beautiful and wanted when I was the most disgusted with myself."
"That's because you are beautiful. You're perfect."
"I'm a seventeen-year-old with a baby. I don't how this is perfect."
"I don't care. You're the only one I want."
"You're crazy." Lucy states with all the seriousness in the world.
"Crazy in love with you."
"Of course you had to be that cheesy."
"You love it, admit it." I tease her.
"Maybe I just love you more than I thought."
"Then maybe I should take you out a date so you can find out."
"We'll have to wait until I feel comfortable enough to leave Kaylie though."
"I mean, she's cute enough to tag along."
"Or we could just skip the dating part and get right to this." And then her lips are on mine again. It's just a little peck but it's so much more than I thought I could ever get.
"I like that idea."
I decide to forget about the world and focus on how happy I am. I should totally thank Alex. And then maybe slap her and then thank her again. She was right though, I just had to tell the truth.
"I love you Lucy."