Episode 1.
Coordination
Dr. Gregory House had had a wonderful morning. Freshly awoken on his day off from his local morphine induced sleep, he made the perfect boiled egg for breakfast and was just settling down for a General Practice marathon when his phone rang. He turned up the volume and only half listened to the Cuddy's message. "House! I know you're in there. Answer the phone. We've got a new patient. I know you'll be interested."
House knew he wouldn't.
"30 year old mother of three presenting with night terrors, hallucinations and tongue tie. We have no idea why?"
House put down his remote. Cuddy had won this time.
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"30 year old cancer patient, presenting with a number of different symptoms. We can't find anything related to all of them." Cameron said, not even looking up from her medical dictionary. House opened his mouth to say something when an Australian-accented voice took the words right out of his mouth. "Why bother treating her when she's already dying? Let's go home."
House found the sarcasm in her voice vaguely familiar, but he didn't have time to place it. Turning around from making herself a very strong coffee, holding House's animal cookies box, was the most striking woman House had ever laid eyes on. He swept his eyes over the ducklings, both Chase and Foreman's reactions the same, Cameron's the absolute opposite. Cameron obviously thought that this Australian woman's bright green puffy hair, lip and eyebrow rings, maroon fingerless gloves and thick eyeliner had no place in Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Chase and Foreman obviously thought the best place for her was in their pants. House couldn't help but agree.
"So you're the new chick, aye" House said in a mock-Australian accent.
"Annabelle Kuylare. The pleasure's all yours," she retorted in a perfect "Valley Girl's" voice.
House, for once, was lost for words. Kuylare went back to making a coffee. House left and limped angrily to Cuddy's office. He burst the door open and Cuddy's papers went flying. She looked up at him, satisfaction spreading across her face. "Is there a problem, Dr. House?" she said in her sweetest voice. House glared at her.
"Annabelle Kuylare." He managed through gritted teeth. Cuddy's smirk got wider.
"So you have met your new team member?" She grinned. House glared harder.
"She's no good to the team. I've already got Cameron, Chase and Foreman."
Cuddy made a mock confused face. "But House," she said cried, "aren't you the one who's always complaining that Chase, Foreman and Cameron are not good enough. You've been begging me for a better team for three years, House. And I've got you the best diagnostician in the country!"
House "pfft"ed. "She's only in her early twenty's!" he argued.
Cuddy looked at him. "She's staying. You'd better buy two boxes of animal cookies from now on." House limped out angrily as Kuylare walked in. House stopped at the door. Cuddy smiled.
"Dr. Cuddy." Kuylare greeted sweetly.
Cuddy nodded. "Dr. Kuylare. Please, take a seat."
Kuylare took a seat as Cuddy looked up at House. "I am occupied at the moment, Dr. House. If there is something else you wish to discuss, please wait outside."
House smiled very falsely. "I have the right to know what my team members come to the Dean of Medicine for, Dr. Cuddy."
Cuddy raised her eyebrows. "But Dr. House, weren't you just saying a second ago that you didn't want Dr. Kuylare on your team? The way, I took it, you were satisfied with your current ducklings," Dr. Kuylare smiled.
"I will only be a few minutes, Dr. Cuddy, and then I'll leave you two to talk about abortion options."
House's mouth fell open, but Cuddy just laughed. "What ails you Dr. Kuylare?" she asked.
"Dr. Cameron's bullying me," she said with a sad face before brightening up, "but nothing I can't handle. What's worrying me more is my accommodation. My lease runs out tonight, and I have no friends in New Jersey."
"You have no friends anyway." House interjected childishly.
"I'm one up on you, old man, at least there's hope for me." Kuylare replied calmly before turning back to Cuddy. "I may need to get back on a plane to Brisbane until I can find more permanent housing."
Cuddy shook her head. "Ridiculous! You can take up a room in House's apartment!"
House looked horrified, but Kuylare got there first. "Oh I couldn't Dr. Cuddy! Family Guy is in the same timeslot as General Practice." she said innocently.
"Besides, I only have one room in my house." House added. Cuddy sighed. Both seemed like good arguments. She was surprised that she thought a television show was a good argument. Anything seemed logical coming out of Kuylare's black-lipped mouth. "I have a room in my house. We can't have you leaving, Dr. Kuylare. We might never get you back!"
Kuylare's mouth opened to protest, but she saw House do something similar and shut it. She was determined not to turn out like this old man. No one wanted to date themselves.
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Dr. James Wilson heard laughing as he stood on Cuddy's doorstep. As he rang the doorbell he heard Stewie, the baby on Family Guy, making a sarcastic comment. He was halfway through thinking how unrealistic the show was and hoping Cuddy would allow him to stay to watch the rest when she opened the door, a laugh still in her eyes. "Dr. Wilson!" she exclaimed brightly, "Do come in!"
Stopping in the hallway to take off his coat, he asked Cuddy for the papers that had been the reason of his visit. She nodded and told him to wait in the living room.
Wilson's eyes were instantly fixed on the TV screen and he sat down without looking.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Wilson," said a cool sarcastic voice in the corner. Sitting upside down on the other side of the lounge was a stunning young woman with green hair in a blue singlet and boylegs. She hadn't taken her eyes off the TV and Wilson had to check twice to see if it was really the woman who had spoken. She had an obvious air of authority and Wilson wondered for a moment if she was related to Cuddy. "It's a pleasure to meet you too. May I ask why you're watching television upside down?" Wilson said coolly, surprising himself.
"Wow, straight to the point aren't you. I thought you would ask my name first at least." she commented. Wilson internally cursed himself for asking the wrong question. The woman continued. "If you must know, sitting upside is good for you hand-eye coordination. Look, I can grab a cookie almost as quickly as if I was the right way up." she said as she grabbed an animal cookie. "I swear, I've been in New Jersey for a week and I'm already addicted to animal cookies. My name is Annabelle Kuylare, by the way."
Realisation dawned on Wilson's face. "So you're the one House was whinging about the whole way home this afternoon. You made quite an impression."
Kuylare looked up at him, her eyes a bright blue, as if surveying his face. "What better way to get in his friends pants?" She asked steadily, looking back at the TV.
Wilson's eyes widened.
Suddenly, he was lying on top of Annabelle Kuylare and the world dissolved. "Straight to the point," she whispered in his ear before kissing him softly. Wilson felt a stirring in his pants. This girl was magic. He kissed her back, placing his hand on the small of her back, pushing her against him.
Cuddy chose that moment to walk back in with a pile of papers. She stood in stunned silence as Wilson jumped up, looking dishevelled. Then she looked at Kuylare. "Well, you do make friends quickly, don't you, Kuylare. I'll be upstairs." She put the papers down, beckoned her over and whispered in her ear. "Good choice. Wilson's incredible." Were her parting words.
Kuylare looked back at Wilson. He was straightening out his tie. She grabbed it and pulled him commandingly into the guest room, pushing him onto the bed, his legs dangling off the edge. She shut the door with her foot and lay on top of him. She kicked off his shoes and began working on his dress shirt. Leaving his tie on, she undid his belt buckle as he slid off her blue singlet, suddenly confident. Pushing off Wilson's pants down til they slid off his feet, Kuylare felt his arms around her waist as he flipped her over so he was on top. Wilson wondered if being with this girl was the reason he was suddenly so confident, or if he was sick of being bullied and now he was in the presence of someone just like him he wanted to take control.
That was the moment Wilson realised he was in love with House.
Wilson wriggled out of his underpants and pushed himself against Kuylare, who was now totally naked. Kuylare had obviously felt him hardening, as she reached down and pulled a condom out of her suitcase. Wilson thought that maybe the TV wasn't her only training for upside down hand coordination. Rolling the condom on, he pulled back the covers and pushed her underneath. He felt his throbbing cock against her thigh and looked into her eyes, realising they were similar to House's. He knew House wasn't gay, and he felt he could be satisfied with this woman. "Come on!" Kuylare whispered through gritted teeth. Wilson obeyed and pushed his cock inside her softly. She groaned slightly with pleasure and Wilson smiled. She was so cute.
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Kuylare woke up in the arms of a sweaty, still soft-smelling Wilson. She kissed his collarbone softly, knowing she had found the right guy. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she wondered what the time was. Checking her watch, she saw it was 8:30. This was bad. Apparently, Cuddy didn't start til 9:30. Nice. She pushed herself out of Wilson's arms and stood up, a blue-tinged condom falling off her leg. Wilson, rubbed his eyes and propped himself up groggily. "Whazzatime?" he mumbled. Kuylare looked up at him and smiled as she remembered her watch was wrong. Shrugging Wilson's dress shirt on, she opened the door. "I'll go check."
Walking to the kitchen, she grabbed her orange juice carton, seeing the time was only 7:00. Walking back to her room she took a sip of the orange juice and saw her Atavan on the table. She downed four, (double what the packet said) and took another sip. She saw Wilson leaning against the doorway of the ensuite, wearing only socks, a tie and a worried look. "You're on Atavan?" he enquired, running his fingers through his messy hair. Very cute. Kuylare nodded. "For depression." she said simply. Wilson took the hint and disappeared into the bathroom. Kuylare looked at herself in the mirror and nodded to herself before following him.
"You did Cuddy." House commented accusingly when he joined Wilson in the lift. Wilson just smiled. "Didn't you?" House asked, trying to confirm the fiction.
"What makes you say that?" Wilson asked calmly.
House looked at him. "Three reasons. A. You just arrived at the exact same time. B. The way you looked at her this morning. C. The look on your own face, trooper."
It was Wilson's floor. "You're wrong."
House looked horrified. "You DEFINITELY had sex last night!" he argued. Wilson had to agree. "Yes, I did."
"Who with!" House yelled as the doors shut.
"You'll see," smiled Wilson.
Kuylare walked in late and picked up the whiteboard marker. All of the ducklings held their breath, looking from House to Kuylare and back. House just scowled and walked into his office.
After a morning of witty, sarcastic comments and animal cookie eating from someone other than himself, House wished someone would take her away. Kuylare had figured out what was wrong with the 30 year old without even looking at the file. House had to admit Cuddy was right. Kuylare was good. But he still wished someone would take her away. Getting up to yell at the woman, who was holding his animal cookies box again, he saw Wilson in the doorway of the room, talking to Kuylare. Opening the door from his office, he heard what Wilson was saying. "-Got this afternoon off, I was wondering if you wanted go to the King Arthur play? After lunch of course!"
Wilson was asking her to lunch, just as he'd promised. Kuylare walked past House just as he walked in the room and, without even looking, shoved the cookie box into his chest. She reached Wilson, kissed him on the mouth, fingering his belt, and grabbed his hand. As they walked down the hall, House looked at his remaining ducklings. They were as shocked as he.