Dislike your Enemies and Hate your Friends

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Summary: Xanxus, Dino and Squalo live with each other in an apartment. [There are no couples, unless you want there to be.]

P.S.: They talk kinda funny…

Warning: Cheezy. Max* Cheezy. Max Cheezy to the Extreme. You have be forewarned…


Chapter – Prologue – A Great Start

There were crackers on the living room table and floor, the over-due milk was spilled all over the counter, the hallway was filled with wrappers, newspaper articles, and such, and the owners slept well that night. But when they woke up the next day, Xanxus, the self-proclaimed "man" of the house, commanded the rest of the residents:

"Alright trash, time to clean up your fucking mess…"

"VOOOOOOOI!!" Screamed the obvious man, Squalo, "The hell, man!? I ain't gonna clean up Dino's crap!"

Dino looked at Squalo confused, "What are you talking about?" Squalo stared back at Dino, "The spilled milk, was your fault!"

"No it wasn't!" Squalo denied, "You always spill and drop stuff!"

"Yeah? So?" Dino inquired, "That doesn't mean you don't spill and drop stuff, too!"

"Shut up, trash!" Xanxus shouted at the others.

"Aw, shut it!" Squalo screamed back at Xanxus, "If you fucking care so fucking much about the fucking apartment then why don't you fucking get off your fucking lazy ass and fucking do it your fucking self?!"

"And 'The Most Fucks/Fuckings in a Sentence*' award goes to none other than, Squalo Suberbi!" Dino yelled over the argument he dropped out of. He held up Squalo's left hand high, in his right hand, "What do you have say to the one-man audience?" He said this with an interview smile as his free hand showed Xanxus to Squalo.

"Yeah," Xanxus replied, as both him and Squalo stared at Dino, "And here's your award, trash…"

Xanxus left to the closet that kept everything that existed. He rummaged through all the crap they had in there. He came back with duct tape [Don't ask why they have that.] on his wrist like a bracelet [an overly sized one, I'd say.*]. Xanxus ripped a huge piece off the duct tape of the wrapping and walked toward Squalo.

"If you fucking-"Squalo didn't finished his sentence since Xanxus slapped the piece of the overly sized duct tape over his overly sized mouth. It was too sticky so he couldn't take it off.

"There," Xanxus said deadpanned, "That'll keep him quiet for a fairly reasonable amount of time. "

"Xanxus," Dino said, Xanxus turned around to see Dino smiling, "Did you know you won for 'The Most usage of the word 'Trash'' award?" Dino smiled a Cheshire Cat smile.

Xanxus stepped back and pointed his index finger at Dino, "If you fucking-" Xanxus didn't finish his sentence because…Same as Squalo story…Kinda…Minor changes.

Dino placed Xanxus to where Squalo stood and said, "I'll clean your mess if you can not talk for about…I dun know…24 hours?" Dino reasoned with his best buds, "If you can't," Dino continued as he forcefully ripped of the tape off of Xanxus' and Squalo's mouths, "You have to clean up the messes I make and pay me 500 bucks per person." Xanxus and Squalo glared deeply in Dino's malicious eyes. They didn't say anything; they couldn't, or won't, "Deal?" Dino asked.

Both Squalo and Xanxus stared at each other, and then nodded.

Dino smile widened, "Is that your final answer?"

They nodded again.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Dino shouted as he turned around and opened his arms, "The hour has come…"Dramatic silence, "….for silence…" Dino looked back and said to Xanxus and Squalo, "Oh, no harm will come to me because of this. Or you give 600 bucks per everything you used against me." Dino turned back to face two ugly faces and smiled his little innocent kid smile, "Got it?"

They nodded.

"Great! Time to clean in peace." Dino started to clean up everything and when everything was dealt with, Dino decided to take a nap, "Time to sleep in peace." When he woke up he said that everytime he was going to do something. When it was time for curfew he said something else, "Tomorrow, time to hear the annoying voices of my great life." And he headed off to his room.

What Xanxus and Squalo didn't know about Dino is that he might like listening to rock and stuff, but he loves listening to the voices of the he two best friends.


* "MAX!" It's the thing Monta [Eyeshield 21] says.

* This fan picture of Hidan and Kakuzu [Naruto (Which you probably already know.)]

* "I'd say" It's the thing Marco [Eyeshield 21] says.