REAL AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm sorry.
I had heard the Dreamyard was a place where dreams come true. And I didn't want to believe it at first. A place, I asked, where dreams come true? How could there be such a place where dreams come true?
My friend Bianca told me all about it.
"It is a place," she said, "where dreams come true."
"Dreams?" I couldn't believe it. Could there really be a place where dreams come true!
CHAPTER ONE MILLION SIXTY-FIVE: A DREAMY DREAM
BASED ON A TRUE STORY!
They call me Tiffany Great. Why, you ask? Because I'm so GREAT. And the Tiffany... is to throw you off at first. People will hear my name and think, "Hmm, Tiffany is a normal name- WOAH, GREAT? HOW COULD SOMEONE BE NAMED GREAT AS THEIR LAST NAME OF THEIR NAME?" I'll tell you how. Like this, right here, right now. I am the realist of real.
Today Bianca and I decided to have an adventure with our Pokemon. We didn't know where we were going to go, but we knew it was going to be so much fun!
"Corphish, Cor!" cried Angelica lovelily, my trusty water-type Pokemon that I carry on my shoulder. It kind of stings the way she fastens her crustaceous claws to your skin sometimes. But she's my best friend in the whole wide world, and there's nothing that can change that!
After a while, Bianca suggested that we go to the Dreamyard, the place where dreams are rumored to come true. I couldn't even believe such a thing when I heard it with my ears. Dreams? Coming true? Nonsensical!
I could see Bianca was amused by my skepticism!
"Haha," she guffawed jocundly, her eyes dilating due to the massive amounts of drugs she was probably on. Because no one laughs at Tiffany Great. Ever. Ever.
"Alright," I shouted breathtakingly to the top of the sky with my mouth, "I accept your challenge Bianca! I will meet you at the Dreamyard and then when we get there and when I meet you there we will have a Pokemon battle with our Pokemon!"
"Okay!" she responded responsively.
The sun was like a celestial orb, in its nature of gliding through the sky with such formidable presence. The wind caressed my face like aftershave and metaphorically danced in the trees. I could tell Angelica, my darling, was having so much fun! So I decided to let all my Pokemon out into the sunshine of the day to have a Pokemon paradise party adventure!
Here is my awesome team: Corphish, Stantler, Purugly, Purugly, Purugly, Igglybuff, Emolga. I get seven because my darling Angelica rides on my shoulder, so, LOL! My Emolga is named Tiffany Jr., and he is the cutest Pokemon ever! He has won every single Beauty Contest there has ever been.
So they were all having fun, and I was really sad that the Pokemon in my PC couldn't come on out as well. I have a Bidoof in there named Princess and she is so kawaii as well.
Anyway, my Pokemon and I stepped into the gates of the Dreamyard, The spring day was crisp as cauliflower and the sunlight glittered down through the leaves of the trees, sparkle sparkle, painting pictures on the forest floor. The smell was that of the restaurant in the nearby town, carried on a soft, hold on I need a thesaurus.
Ok back.
...carried on the soft, saccharine zephyr of the afternoon. Angelica and I paused to breathe in the scene around us, holding our noses high in the air and taking it all in with one, deep sigh. The leaves on the ground below us crunched and crackled beneath my feet like a burning fire in a hearth where fires burn. Pachirisus skittered about in the forest and ruins of the primeval structure that became the Dreamyard when it deteriorated and slowly faded into the ruins of which I spoke in the former half of this sentence.
A man stood not far from me, a strange one at that. He had long, flowing, gross celery-colored hair, like a budding blossom that flowed as ribbons used to do in that one parade I would go to when I was little, I think they might be having another one this month.
He wore a hat and clothes, something odd on a day like this (wearing the hat is what I meant), and he carried a void cube attached to his pants. Kinky. I'd let him into my void if you know what I'm saying (it is a sexual come-on).
"IGGLYIGGLYIGGLYIGGLYIGGLYBUFF!" my darling precious Quagmire cried lovelily and joyously upon seeing this strange new man. Charmander is always joyous because she is "so" Sweet and Loves everyone!
The man turned towards my direction in which I was standing by turning himself with his feet in a sort of pivoting motion; He looked friendly enough, and the deep, blue pools of his sparkling dreamy-eyes fluttered longingly at me; I decided to wave my arms and shout "Hello";
"Hello!" I shouted loudly, waving my arms enthusiastically.
"My, my, are you a Pokemon trainer?" he queried questioningly, using words to form a sentence.
"Yes, I am!" I responded diligently.
"You know," he began beginningly, "Pokemon aren't meant to be tools. They're meant to be friends!"
At this point Dialga, pink and fluffy and sunshiney as she always is, began to tumble over towards the man. "Igglybuff!" Tailow cried enthusiastically.
The man crouched Down towards my Pokemon and began to speak to it. I quickly "go hell-bent for leather," a cool phrase I just found in the thesaurus looking for a synonym for "ran," which is a silly word only BABIES use in their kindergarten papers. I, for one; have more of a Mastery;; over, the English Language;.
When I approached him, the man looked up and smiling, addressed me with an oration comprised of lexemes, which was as follows: "Your Igglybuff seems to really like you a lot!" I beamed and looked at him like a mother Ursaring looks after her cubs during preparations for a cold winter's storm, and that is to say I gazed upon him with my chocolate-colored eyes fondlily.
"I know," huffed haughtily I, being all to aware of my Scraggy's compassion for her wonderful world. "I mean, how could I not and call myself a trainer?" I studied my nails nonchalantly, hoping to impress the man and get him to give me sex 3 3 3.
"JUST so you Know," I continued impressively, caressing his face with my vision and presence, figuratively; because; I am not literally fondling his cheeks though I would really like to, the little fox he is. Anyway I then finished my sentence. "My name is TIFFANY. Tiffany GREAT."
well tiffany he said. i am glad to hear that u r geting along wit ur pokimen well. it wud b bad if u did not get along. ok I said. what is youre nam.e n he sad wat us urs tiffany i said didnt i alrdy tell u. o ya he sad.
It was at this point that whatever my friend's name was cause I am too lazy to scroll back up and look for it showed up. "Aha!" she shouted loudly and strongly. "There you are Tiffany! I see you met a friend! Hello friend what is your nam!11! My name is-" AUTHOR'S NOTE: ok so since I can't remember her name I am just going to make it Tiffany because Tiffany is my name and it is a great name lolz. "Tiffany!"
"My name is N..."His name is N" I interrupt awesomely. Ok wait was this in the past or present tense I don't remember that either lolz.
"So anyway, Tiffany, have any of your dreams come true now that you are here in the Dreamyard?"? Tiffany asked me adverbly.
I says, "Yeah only ALL OF THEM!" hintingly and eyeball N oglingly, even raising my eyebrows so he gets the hint that we should sex. "SEX." I whispered in case he didn't get the message.
"Pfffthahahahah you actually believe that I cannot beleve you believe that. Derams do not come true at the dremyraad." cried N dyslexically.
"Well, if you believe that, then I guess I'll have to proove you wrong!" I abjured prominently.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I got bored of riting this and um Im out of ideas anyway so im just gonna skip to the SEX scene kay lolz.
"I'd use milk drink on YOUR milk N," I guffawed seductively as he began to unbutton his shirt. "I just hope you're not SCRAGGY if you now wat I mean LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!1one!#!#(*!*!"
I know what you mean he redplied, throwing his shrt to the floor and exposing his chestful of hair that was also green.
"EWW OMG IT'S LIKE BROCOLLI!" I laughed sillily. Wow wtf apparently sillily is a word because spell check didn't mark it wrong WTF ENGLISH LANGUAGE! This wouldn't have been a problem if I had finished l34rn1ng Wapanese so I could go study in Tokyo with the kawaii nekos desu desu desu SUGOIIIIIII ne~~~~~~~.
But o ya the story.. He's like, "SORRY, it's not like I CONTROL GENETICS or anything lol that would be wierd." Then he started tking of his pants because this is how sex goes I know because I have done itlike infinity + 1 times. I'm not even sure there's anything DOWN there anymore LOL
Ok so yea he's like "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HORN DRILL." And then I said I don't even know what that MEANS and he's like "IT MEANS PENIS" and I was like OLOL NO.
And he looked at me lookingly, a lantern in the moonlight summer nighttime sky, the beacon of my existence, shining tenderly, like starlight. Then he planted a large, wet, slobbering kiss on my forehead, passionate, so that when his lips left me there was still his saliva dribbling down upon my nose bridge to remember him by.
"You are the love of my life," he breathed cardiovascularly, "and if you're not ready for this, then just tel me."
My eyes began to water like little Jimmy's favorite plastic water pistols dripping out of the backside so that by the time you actually want to use them you have to refill the damn things with the hose again. "Oh N!" I walied, "I never knew what love really was before I met you! How will I live without you?"
His finger pressed on my pursed lips, and he bellowed with all the wretched desolation and remorseful woe of the artist who designed Garbador, "Hush, young sprout, for some day, we may meat again. And vegetable. LOL geddit AUTHOR'S NOTE: if you didn't get it go back and read the sentence again LOL" He clambered onto his Gloom, and, blowing me another slavering kiss with a flourish, bumbled off into the sunset. Without his shirt. 3