Being a Parent

by Jazdia

I woke up to noises in my living room.

"Shhh."

Whispers.

"She changed the furniture around!"

"Quiet!"

My name is Stephanie Plum, and unfortunately, this is not an uncommon occurrence in my life. That is, someone breaking into my apartment. I was still half asleep, but I knew that I had to be quiet and find out what was going on. After being stalked by psychos for several years, I still left my gun in my cookie jar in the kitchen, but I had a backup gun in the nightstand. I grabbed it and my cell phone.

"Yo."

I whispered, "Ranger, someone's in my apartment."

"Keep the phone on. I'll be there in 10 or less."

I left the phone on the bed and went to the bedroom door.

More whispering.

"Where is it? She moved it."

"I don't know. Keep looking. Maybe we're too late."

What was going on? I didn't want to do anything until Ranger showed up. There were at least two people in my living room.

I slowly opened the bedroom door. The couple were still arguing by whispers. I also heard a scrabbling noise.

"I think we're too late."

"What are we going to do? She'll be devastated!"

What? Seven more minutes before Ranger was here.

"It will be okay. She's stronger than she was a couple of years ago. She can handle it this time, Helen."

Helen? My mother, Helen? That meant the one talking was...

"Frank, you know how she was as a little girl. She'll be depressed for weeks. She's supposed to be getting married in two days. I don't want anything to spoil that for her!"

My dad.

I turned on the light.

"What's going on here?"

My parents were dressed in black. My mom had a small box in here hand, the scrabbling noises coming from it. They looked nervous.

"Um, well, hello, dear," my mother said.

"Helen, I think it's time we just tell her the truth. She can handle it."

"Frank, are you sure?"

"What's going on here?" I asked again, this time louder.

"Why don't you have a seat, dear." My mother motioned to the chair. "Would you like something to drink? I can fix you some hot chocolate."

"Mom!"

I went back into the bedroom, put the gun away, and picked up the phone. "Where are you?"

"Almost there, Babe. Are you okay?"

"It's my parents."

Silence.

I looked out the window. He was just parking his car.

"I'm coming up."

I hung up the phone and walked back out to the living room. The box was on the coffee table. Noises were still coming from it. I went to the door and opened it, waiting for Ranger before I said anything else. My parents were sitting together on the couch, holding hands.

"Shh. It's okay, Helen. It's better she found out, anyway. You know we couldn't keep doing this once she was married." My father was comforting my mom.

I was wondering if I'd had too much to drink at my bachelorette party and was dreaming. I'd limited myself to 2 drinks, but maybe the margaritas were stronger than I thought.

Ranger walked in the room, assessing the situation. I went over to him and took his hand. "Am I still sleeping?" He smiled, shook his head, and said, "Babe."

He then sat down and pulled me into his lap. And looked at my parents.

My dad, the man of as few words as Ranger, sighed. He picked up the box and handed it to me. "Here. This should help."

I opened it up and looked at …. Rex? My hamster? But, he was on the kitchen counter at Ranger's, at our apartment.

"Ranger? Isn't he still there?"

Ranger looked at the hamster and then at me. "Yes, Babe, he was the last time I looked."

We both looked at my parents.

"Oh! That's why we couldn't find him!" My mother looked relieved.

My dad looked at me. "Pumpkin." He sighed again. "How long have you had Rex?"

I thought back. I bought him after my divorce from Dickie. "Eight years."

Ranger looked at me and then my parents. My father nodded at him.

"And, how long do hamsters normally live?"

I bit my lip for a second. "Um, two years."

Every one was silent for a minute.

"After your divorce, your mother and I knew that you were more than just angry, but devastated by the hurt." He glanced at her. "You went on vacation about two years after the divorce and left Rex with us. While you were gone, he died."

Tears came to my eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.

"We knew how hurt you would be," my mother responded. "So, we decided to do what we would have done while you were a child – we bought you an identical hamster and kept quiet." She smiled. "You never knew the difference."

I was stunned. How could I have not known?

She reached over and patted my hand. "Two years after that, we watched Rex when you went to the beach for a weekend, and that hamster also passed away, so we bought another one. After you started bounty hunting, you left Rex with us again and we switched out hamsters before the older one died. We always brought a picture of the older one with us when we went to the pet store."

I thought back. "That's why he was skinnier! He was a new hamster, not that he missed me and didn't eat!" I was a bad hamster mommy, just like I thought.

Ranger hugged me closer.

"And tonight you brought a new one because?"

My father looked at him. "She won't be bringing him home to us anymore. You have a housekeeper to take care of him while she's away. And, we can't get in and out of your building like we can her apartment."

That was true. Ranger's building had better security than Fort Knox. People came and went from my apartment all of the time, no matter how many locks I had on the door.

My mother looked at me. "I'm so sorry, Stephanie, for you to find out this way. We didn't know if we'd have another chance before you were married, and we knew it was close to his time. We didn't want anything to ruin your happiness." She looked at Ranger. "You know how devastated she would be."

Ranger looked at me. His gaze was tender and filled with love. "You're right. She would have been. But, I would have helped her this time." He kissed my forehead.

My parents stood up. "Guess we'll go now, now that you know the truth," my father said. He reached for the box. "We can give this one to Valarie's girls if you want."

I shook my head. "No, I'll keep him. Maybe Rex would like to meet his, um," I choked up, "his replacement. Give him tips." Ranger wiped the tears from my eyes.

He glanced at my parents and they walked to the door. My mother turned to me and said,"Stephanie, we were just trying to protect you as we could. You're a strong girl and can handle so many things. We are proud of you. We just did what we thought we should do as your parents."

I just nodded.

"We'll see you tomorrow at the rehearsal, Pumpkin."

I looked into the box at Rex the second. Or was it the Fourth? Fifth? I shook my head.

"Babe?"

I looked at my fiance, my lover, my best friend. My best human friend. In the animal kingdom, Rex had always been the one I could count on. But, that wasn't true. I sighed.

"Ranger. Carlos. I don't know what to think. My parents have been replacing Rex all these years? And I never noticed?"

Ranger pushed back my hair from my forehead. "Rex has never been a petting pet. You don't pick him up except to clean his cage. He's not a Bob, that you play with. So, yes, you never noticed. That doesn't make you a bad hamster mommy. It makes your parents great hamster grandparents. And, parents." He put his head next to mine. "Your family has a hard time showing affection, except through food." He smiled. "This is another way parents show their love. I don't know how many fish my parents replaced for me while I was growing up."

I sniffed. I knew he was trying to distract me by giving me information about his childhood. He had been sharing with me since before we became engaged, but I was too focused on my situation.

"So, do you want to bring Rex, Jr. back with you? Or will you spend the night here? I know I decided to stay one last time in my apartment after the party, but I miss you."

He grinned. "I wasn't sleeping that well myself." He helped me up and led me to the bedroom. We left the box on the table, lid on.

It was a good feeling to go to sleep, knowing that I was loved, both by my husband to be, but by my parents.

Ten years later:

"Mommy! Why isn't Rex moving?"

Oops.