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A Cage of My Own

Written for the Doccubus Fanfiction Competition.

I do hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I make money from these characters.

"The heart is not like a box that gets filled up;

It expands in size the more you love.

I'm different from you.

This doesn't make me love you any less...

It actually makes me love you more"

-Spike Jonze, Her

I don't think that I can go back there...

Lauren Lewis looked up into the eyes of her lover, admitting for the first time that not only could she not return home with her, but that she had no desire to.

It had been hard for Lauren. Always last, always expected to deliver, to save and heal, to solve the problem. She was tired now, tired of being looked over, brushed off and now she had been given the opportunity to live and be free, safely amongst the Dark Fae. Her heart ached for Bo, but going back to the Light meant risking more than just her freedom, but her life. She hated that Bo couldn't see that, wouldn't see that.

Bo had tried to sway her, she really did.

"We can be free together," Bo said, hoping to convince Lauren that everything would be okay, that she really could protect her from the Light, that had seemed to take a dark turn; hoping to rid their side of all human connectivity. Lauren tried to remain strong, feeling the seams of her heart begin to unravel as she once again told Bo no, that she couldn't come home with her. Lovingly, she placed a tender hand upon the Succubus's shoulder. Bo grabbed it tenderly, taking it in her own before looking hard into Lauren's eyes, "When you're ready to come home..." she said pausing, "just say the word". Lauren watched sadly as Bo walked past her, feeling as though she had once again, let go of the only person she'd ever truly loved.

...

Bo's chest seized as she let out a silent breath, feeling her heart break as she was once again, denied by Lauren. She didn't understand it; she was a natural when it came to lust and encompassing people in it. Whoever she wanted, she could have, and yet with Lauren, it just didn't seem that way. She knew Lauren loved her, deeply, but she wasn't affected by her like the others. She was so much stronger than Bo had ever given her credit.

The second she had walked away, she wanted to turn back, to grab Lauren and tell her she'd do anything she wanted, if only she'd take her back but Bo seemed to have done something that Lauren's heart couldn't forgive. Maybe it was a mixture of things: cheating on her with Dyson, sleeping with other people- albeit at the consent of Lauren, Bo reminded herself- perhaps it was due to her being a Succubus maybe? Being Fae even? Bo couldn't say it was just one thing, but, she knew due to certain events, that Lauren had put up a wall, impenetrable by Bo and her feelings for her.

Bo thought on, feeling she was strong enough to protect Lauren, if only she'd give her the chance; but then a fleeting image of the Una Mens flashed before her eyes. She could almost feel her chi being sucked back out from her like they had done earlier that day. She could see how even though they said they possessed no desire other than to deliver just punishment unswayed by emotion, that they did have ulterior motives, and a vengeance fueled by personal feelings. Bo couldn't blame Lauren for not wanting to return, when she really thought about it. Unfortunately, the Light wasn't a safe side to stay on for most Fae at this point in time, and especially not if you were of the human variety. Bo's shoulders slumped as she leaned against the wall, still out of eyesight of Lauren, who had as well, stood leaning against a wall, deep in her own thoughts.

Bo found herself wondering why it had upset her so much that Lauren preferred the company of the Dark. It made sense, and it was biased and ignorant of Bo to believe that if you came from Dark ancestry that you were a bad person. If Bo left this Dark Fae party, leaving Lauren, she had a feeling in her gut that Lauren would not come crawling back to the Light. Lauren was strong, and although Bo knew very much that she loved her, Lauren's dignity was far stronger. Nothing Bo did could make the seemingly fragile human doctor love Bo any less, but many things could occur that could potentially keep them from having the relationship both women wished of having with one another; and this was one of those situations.

Bo turned quickly, feeling an electric shock of urgency pulse through her. She had time to fight the Una Mens. She had time to save the world. Those responsibilities weren't going anywhere, but what could very well disappear, if Bo wasn't careful, was the connection shared between her and Lauren.

She peaked her head around the corner, heartbeat quickening when she saw her, slumped on the floor, legs crossed, with her head buried in her hands. She wasn't crying, but hiding, very obviously distressed. If Bo went to her, everything could change. Maybe all she needed to do was show Lauren how loyal she truly was to her, instead of running off in hopes that her own passiveness would somehow lure her back. Bo felt that if there was anyone in the world she could show weakness to, it was Lauren. And so, with a ridged step, she walked out into the open room.

Silently, Bo stood there, watching Lauren, unsure of what to say. A small fraction of her felt defeated, as though she had lost in some way, because not having left, somehow meant she was weak. She knew that wasn't true of course, but that didn't stop her from feeling it. Bo let out a quiet breath, standing stiffly a few feet before Lauren. Slowly, Lauren raised her head from the palms of her hands, eyes and cheeks pink and puffy.

"...Bo?" she asked in a whisper, looking to the nervous Succubus. Bo nodded, "Yeah." she replied, walking to Lauren and coming to her knees. Gingerly, she took Lauren's hands in hers, kissing softly the tops of her fingers.

"I know we've had our problems...but, you're right, Lauren. It isn't safe for you to come back with me. I just didn't want to admit that maybe, I can't protect you." she told her softly, tenderly cupping Lauren's cheek. Lauren's eyes closed as she leaned into Bo's touch, feeling every fear she had had, wash away completely, "my home is with you, Lauren. Where ever you are, is where I want to be." she admitted. She knew the others would always be there; besides, for the time being, she sort of belonged to the Dark. But, things would be different from now on. She might actually have to live as she preached, unbiased between Light and Dark; because as much as Bo liked to say she was neither, in her heart, she knew she'd choose the Light if it really came down to it. Lauren took in a shaking breath, "I didn't expect you to come back." she told her sadly, looking up into Bo's dark eyes. Bo's stomach dropped, "I never left...I couldn't get myself to. I knew that if I did, we might not get another chance, and that's something I wasn't willing to risk."

Lauren smiled weakly before running a hand through Bo's hair and pulling her in. This kiss wasn't passionate. It wasn't purely sexual. It was everything that the two had wanted to say, but couldn't. Lauren could finally exhale, could finally take a full breath, as she closed her eyes she felt the lips of her lover delicately caress over her own. She felt one of Bo's fingers slip under the thin black strap of her little black dress, sliding it slowly off her shoulder where Bo continued to kiss her. Butterflies and intense heat flickered over her body, swarming in her stomach and settling deep within her. She loved how her body reacted to Bo's touch, without the help of Bo's lustful abilities. It was natural, instinctual and if they weren't careful, could rapidly turn into uncontrollable passion; which wasn't always appropriate depending on their surroundings, like this one for example. They were tucked away in the Morrigan's office, hoping that this particular room wouldn't be as easily stumbled upon as the last one they had been in while "celebrating" during the Dark Fae party earlier that day. The two had desperately wanted and needed this alone time together.

Bo continued to kiss; across the collar bone, to the other shoulder where she slipped off the other black strap. Lauren let her head rest back against the wall, relishing in Bo's touch. She felt her lips travel down her right arm, across her now exposed breasts and up, back to her own lips. Letting out a light moan, Bo grabbed at Lauren's hips, pulling her lean frame onto her lap and repositioning so that Bo was now sitting against the wall with Lauren straddling her. With dark eyes, Bo looked up to Lauren, smiling devilishly. Lauren couldn't help the airy chuckle that escaped her, lightly pressing herself into Bo's groin. Bo leaned in, capturing Lauren's lips once again, biting tenderly on her bottom lip, and without warning, slowly slipped two fingers inside Lauren's heat. The young doctor let a moan escape her and her head fell back, eyes closed. Every nerve in her body was on fire, ignited and alert. Bo's sex was more than good, it was life changing; it was as though she had somehow discovered a "How To" handbook for Lauren's body and memorized every sentence. Taking hold of Bo's shoulders, she continued to grind into her, feeling herself building rapidly. At one moment, she thought it'd probably be a good idea if she lowered her cries of passion, but then Bo curled her fingers, hitting that special spot inside her that sent her flying over the edge. Staggered breaths and bursts of profanity spilled from Lauren's mouth as she rode out her orgasm, clutching to Bo's shoulder with shaking hands. Her heart beat in her throat, legs wobbly like Jell-O. Sweat trickled down her breasts, inhaling deeply to catch a breath that simply would not catch. Finally, she opened her eyes, smiling that smirk, and looking to Bo. Bo bit her bottom lip, quite obviously pleased with herself. Looking briefly to her left, she saw the Morrigan in a large black and white photo, hung on the wall behind her desk and not a second later, Ebony herself came waltzing in, but then again, it was her office.

Stopping in her tracks her eyes widened at the scene before her, a smile creeping onto her face as she crossed her thin arms over her chest, "Well..." she said as Lauren frantically removed herself from Bo's lap, pulling the traps of her dress up and over her shoulders.

Bo, who never felt bad for showing intimacy, calmly stood, straightening out her hair and looking to the Morrigan with a less than interested look.

"I should go." Lauren said quietly to Bo but Bo furrowed a brow.

"I'm coming with you." she said, taking a step as Lauren moved to leave, but Ebony took a small step to the side, blocking Bo from following, "Carry on, Doctor. The Succubus and I have things to discuss."

Lauren looked over her shoulder, a sorry expression on her face. Irritably, Bo bit the inside of her cheek, looking to Ebony with a stiff jaw. Once Lauren had gone, the Morrigan walked to her desk, casually leaning against its edge.

Bo let out a sigh. Dealing with the leader of the Dark was the last thing she wanted to do with her evening. She had imagined that the night would turn out something like her leaving with Lauren, making a romantic dinner and loving one another until the young doctor simply couldn't go again. Bo smiled at the thought, briefly withdrawn from reality. When she refocused her mind, however, the Morrigan was looking at her with a cocked brow, "You look lost." she said in that tone that Bo couldn't stand.

"What do you want?" Bo said rudely, not wanting to waste anymore time with this woman than necessary.

"I'm not sure I like your tone." the Morrigan teased, knowing she could now do and say whatever she wanted to the Succubus she had hated for so long, "Okay, okay." she said, "I know how to break the contract you signed with the Dark."

Bo stood there, a complacent expression gracing her face, "Yeah...you said that earlier and your little goose chase got me nowhere."

Ebony nodded before responding, "Yes well, that was all apart of the plan. I needed something done, and I needed you to do it. But, I can assure you, I do know how to break that contract. I could just tell you, but that wouldn't be nearly as fun, would it?" she said with a smile, flashing her pearly whites. Her words caught Bo's attention, but really, her trust for this woman...well let's just say, she'd tell Vex her secrets long before she told them to Ebony.

"What do you want?" Bo inquired, crossing her arms tighter over her chest.

Ebony removed herself from the edge of the desk, walking with a sexy stride over to Bo, "Well.." she said, standing uncomfortably close, "It begins with a beautiful human doctor..." she paused, looking hard into Bo's eyes, "And ends with the Una Mens...because, let's be honest, who doesn't want them dead?"