My Last
Tick Tock Tick Tock
It wasn't long now; the sound of the clock ticking was getting louder and louder.
Tick Tock Tick Tock
It's not what I want, not what I need but it's what is happening. Each and every time. I loved Sam and Josh, I loved them so much it hurt, so I hurt them. It was either them or me and getting hurt was no longer something I could handle.
Tick Tock Tick Tock
My teacher, she's sweet. Told me once she would love to have me living with her. I smiled and laughed and didn't remember that night. I just remember the soft tears rolling down my cold face as each sip I took pushed me further into oblivion; pulling me away from reality. They were gone the next morning. Out of my life forever and I found myself once again sitting in this familiar chair.
Tick Tock Tick Tock
I wonder if this chair was a person would it be happy to see me? Or maybe it would be like everybody else, willing me to be someone else's problem.
Tick Tock Tick Tock
I close my eyes, head resting against the wall, events of the last few days replaying in my head. "I love you." Big brown eyes staring into my icy blue ones; small arms clinging to my waist; and the lump in my throat rising. A child's ability to show emotion is unlimited. It's raw, unguarded emotion. The purest sort. Sometimes I wish I possessed such innocence, but the moment quickly passes.
Tick Tock Tick Tock
"She must go!" "She can not stay!" "We have our daughter to think about!" "Take her with you now!"
It always ends the same way. I no longer bother to learn their names, no longer bother to appreciate their life, no longer bother to show emotion for them. Maybe that's my problem, maybe they want a child who smiles with them, laughs and cries and reaches out for human comfort, someone that is not me. If I acted this way, it would only hurt me more as I watch them leave in this office over and over again, without a second thought to where I will be heading next. I was no longer their problem.
Tick Tock Tick Tock
I don't know how much more I can take; how many more times I can be passed from one hand to another as if I was nothing more than a doll that nobody really wanted. I knew how to make it all stop, make all the pain go away. People would call me selfish; say I didn't even consider the pain I would inflict on others; say I never thought about anyone other than myself but really, would anyone notice that I'm gone?
Tick Tock Tick Tock
I could hear the heels clicking outside the door. Closer and closer. I look around the room, taking in every aspect. This will be my lat time sitting here, my last time wondering how long it will be before I'm back because I' never coming back. My lack of proper behaviour towards my 'family' will no longer be an issue. After this I will be free, nothing will be holding me back.
Tick Tock Tick Tock
The door opens and I hang my head. The clicking is replaced by squeaking and I see a pair of sandals stop before me. It's time to look up.
"What do you say we get out of this place huh?"
The voice, it's so familiar, so warm, so loving. My head snaps up. She's here, she meant it, she wasn't lying when she said I may live with her! She extends her hand to me but I know what it means if I take it. Am I willing to destroy this already? She knows me, she understands me but can she love me; the me I truly am, not the me she experiences at school?
"Why would you want me?"
I watch in fear as her face wrinkles up. I can see her pulling her hand away as if she has been bitten, turning and running out of this room, wishing to never see me again. But she doesn't.
"What reason can you think of that would make me not want you?"
I blanked, I couldn't think, there were a thousand reasons but not one that seemed good enough. My hand slipped into hers as I laughed; I was about to exit this room forever, but in a completely unexpected way.
Tick Tock Tick Tock.
Ok so this was actually an original story i wrote for my friend. She told me to structure it around belonging and barriers and i thought it can also be applied to Bones.
Please Review on your away out.
XxPrincess-LeaselXX