Hi! Am trying my hand at slash again, so I'll make this perfectly clear: IF YOU DON'T LIKE SLASH, LEAVE NOW. It's a waste of your time and mine; you don't need to flame it and I don't need to read it. I altered timelines slightly; I manipulated characters; I used vague plot points and warped them.

But that's fanfiction in a nutshell, isn't it?

If you don't like m/m, turn around now and I'll never be the wiser. I'm just having fun. You should, too. If this story isn't fun for you, go find one that is. It's a free country.

Read away, if you're open-minded!

It sounded fishy to me. That a 'new terrorist organization' would take interest in the Whispered, no more than six months after Gauron's death. To Miss Kaname's great fortune, I stayed on at her high school even after Gauron died, so I was close at hand when the air started growing thick with tension.

No one since Gauron had expressed any desire to study the Whispered - no one but Gauron.

The minute I heard from Kalenin that Kaname might be in danger, I knew. I knew.

There was no way of proving it, of course. I had no way of alerting anyone of importance, I had no hard evidence to justify my suspicions. But I told Kalenin on an open line, as carefully as I could, from our base in Tokyo, with Melissa and Kurz sitting right in the same room.

"Commander," I began, my voice tight. He was checking in on us for the week, giving us our orders, checking our progress. And that was the time to tell him. "I. About the Whispered."

"Yes, sergeant?" He was completely calm.

"You said it was a terrorist cell that was after the Whispered," I pressed. "Do you have any information on how they even know the Whispered exist, or who's heading them?"

"We don't have those answers, Mr. Sagara, but I do know that we've had no reports of anything beyond this group."

"Sir, I just. I have a bad feeling, that perhaps this is bigger than we give it credit for."

"We've had no real disturbances from this group yet," he assured me. "Only intelligence reports. They've made no move to harm any of the Whispered."

"Yet."

"Yet," he agreed. "But I assure you Miss Chidori's name has not been mentioned in any of these reports. As far as I know, she's as safe as possible, with you guarding her."

"But terrorists have gotten their hands on her before, while I was guarding her."

"Terrorist forces with exceptional assistance. Were it not for the leadership, they stood little chance of knowing exactly how and when you could be separated from Miss Chidori."

"And if they have such leadership again?"

I saw Kurz sit up, out of the corner of my eye, and take a keen interest.

"That's not possible, Sergeant Sagara. Unless you've got something else I ought to know."

Fire shot up my cheeks. "No, sir. But I have a feeling, is all. I don't think - I mean. He never - salvage crews never found a. He wouldn't." I took a deep breath. "Commander, it can't be that easy. It simply isn't possible. We've taken him for dead three times and been badly mistaken. Civilian and military lives have been lost due to our previous assumptions, and I am not willing to simply assume that he's dead just because -"

"Venom was completely incinerated upon detonation, sergeant," Kalenin informed me. "It's physically impossible for him to have survived the explosion. Even if he did somehow survive the blast itself, he would have been too badly injured to survive at sea with no medical aid. Not to mention drifting aimlessly in a tropical storm for days on end," he added.

I nodded, even though he couldn't see. "Yes, sir."

"Although I can understand your concern, sergeant. I know as well as anyone that he was never one to be underestimated, and I appreciate the mention, because it is a legitimate worry. But we'll know before anyone if he's alive, and I will personally make sure that you are the first to know, as you or Miss Chidori will no doubt be in his line of fire."

My chest grew tight. His tone had changed - at first, he'd been casually dismissing the fact that Gauron might actually still be alive, but it was turning to suspicion. He was considering it, considering the fact that every time we'd taken him for dead, he wasn't. Considering the fact that we had no way of ever really being sure he was dead, without a body and a cremation and an urn full of ashes that could be disposed of as far away from me as possible.

Fear. It wasn't a feeling I was used to.

And those words, those goddamn words, his words, they kept coming back to me. The words he couldn't possibly have meant.

"Sergeant, when you report back to the Tuatha de Daanan, I'll discuss this at length with you. But for right now, your assignment is to keep a close eye on Miss Chidori, and you can't very well do that if you're talking to me," Kalenin sighed. "When you're in a secure location... we'll talk. Until then, you know your orders."

"Yes, Commander." I was being dismissed. But he had to -

"We'll see what information we can get on these terrorists, and I'll inform you of what we find. Good day, Sergeant Sagara."

I was shaking. Even the idea that he was still alive, the realization that someone else was now worried about it - if nothing else had any effect on me...

Kurz's face was thoughtful. "Sousuke, dude. Chill out. He's dead. You saw to it yourself."

I nodded stiffly. "We've thought he was dead before. I've thought I killed him at least twice."

"But he blew up," Melissa put in, taking a swig of beer that nearly emptied the can. "Nobody could survive that."

I shook my head. "If anyone could... he could."

A shadow crossed Kurz's face, a thoughtful one. A shadow that meant his brain was working on over-drive. "Well if he's alive, we'll just kill him again." And then a flinch. "How many times do we have to kill that guy?"

The knot in my stomach said, at least one more time.

Kaname

Like Sousuke isn't moody enough on a good day, now he was toting that damn gun around again and acting even moodier. Mr. Diligent wasn't studying for tests, and I swear he had bags under his eyes suddenly. And I mean, he's always in sharp condition. He's never under the weather. But the first week back at school, he looked downright dead.

Actually... he looked suspiciously hung over, but he doesn't drink. Period. So it wasn't humanly possible.

I gave him my traditional scowl, to mask the fact that I noticed. "Well aren't you hung over," I muttered, as I came out of my building to find him leaning against the doorframe. He really. When he did that, he just...

Anyways. Sousuke looking dashing ISN'T the point.

He didn't answer me, which made me glance up and drop the scowl. "Hey. Are you okay? I mean... you didn't even feed me some stupid excuse or anything."

He didn't beat around the bush. "You may be in danger."

"When am I not?"

"Real danger."

"See: last response."

"There's a terrorist cell on the prowl for the Whispered. They want the technology stored in your mind."

"Just like everyone else. How can it be worse than last time?"

"It can't be," he admitted. "But we have reason to believe it could be just as bad."

"But that guy is dead, Sousuke," I reminded him. "He's kind of the reason it was so bad in the first place."

He hesitated a moment before answering, waiting instead till we'd crossed the street. "He could be dead," he agreed. "But you'll remember that we've taken him for dead before, Miss Chidori."

"You can call me Kaname when it's just us," I reminded him.

A nod. "Very well, Miss Kaname."

I sighed - it was some progress, at least. "But Souske... he made his AS self-destruct. He had no way of possibly surviving. No one could live through that."

And then a break from the monotonous, so-military Sousuke I knew. "The more I hear people say he can't have survived, Miss Chidori, the more I think it's entirely possible."

Let's get some things straight on Mr. I'm-a-moody-military-jerk real fast. Souske likes to think he's completely unreadable. He also likes to think that if it's personal, it doesn't exist.

NOT true, on either count.

For one thing, I know for a fact that on some level, he does or did or might or could someday possibly have a thing for me. I mean, I'm not saying he wants me or anything. I'm just saying, he maybe doesn't always just see me as just another assignment. And I know nothing will probably happen or anything, it just makes me feel. You know. Girly and giddy and completely not above rubbing it in Tessa's face.

But I don't.

Also. He thinks I don't know things about his past. Or - suspect things, because I can't know until Sousuke tells me, and that's not happening anytime soon. He's too busy pretending like it's not real.

Everyone on the de Daanan heard Gauron say that thing to him. Everyone heard Sousuke completely snap. I mean, he cursed. He doesn't swear casually, the way Kurz and Melissa do. But he went absolutely ping.

So. It doesn't take a whole lot to know that Souske at least knew him before I met him. And of course they knew each other. All good guys know villains. It's how interesting lives go. You know all your enemies, and all.

But. I'm not stupid. I'm the junior class representative, for crying out loud. I didn't get there by being an idiot.

Really. Who do you people TAKE me for??

Anyways, ignoring the blatant underestimation. I don't actually know what it was between them, but. I know what he said really kicked Sousuke in the balls. If he hadn't thought he meant it, I don't think it would have bothered him. And he wouldn't have thought he meant it if he didn't have reason to think he meant it. And he wouldn't have reason to think he meant it if there wasn't something going on beneath the surface.

I'm not saying anything specific. I'm just speculating, and making it clear to all of you who don't pay attention to me that I'M NOT STUPID.

So. With that said.

I kicked an empty beer can as we walked. "Then you can just kill him again."

"When has it ever been that easy?" he sulked.

I glanced over at him. "You really, really think he's alive, don't you?" I asked thoughtfully.

"The point, Miss Chidori, is that I don't know. And I can't prepare for an enemy if I'm in the dark."

I bit my lip. "Well. I mean, if he is still alive and all, what do you think he wants?"

"I think he wants the contents of your head split between a computer and a jar, and I think he wants to kill me," he said, in a tone I had never, EVER heard Sousuke take. "And no doubt when that's out of the way, he'll take the knowledge he's obtained from you to make weapons that Mithril never even DREAMED of making, and destroy Mithril before they can do anything to him. But hopefully, should it come to that, neither of us will be alive to see it."

"Okay, you have GOT to take a chill pill," I snapped. "Snap OUT, of it, Sousuke! Yeah, so bad things will happen - IF HE'S ALIVE. And I really don't think he is."

"Salvage crews never found a body with the wreckage of Venom," he said quietly. "The only guarantee we'll ever have is a body, and we don't have that."

I sighed. "Okay, so your personal villain happened to be pretty unkillable once upon a time. But no one lives forever, Sousuke. Everyone punches out eventually - even Lex Luthor died."

His face was blank. "Lex... what?"

"Oh, TELL me you know who Superman is!" I wailed.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that."

I groaned and kicked the beer can harder. "Lex Luthor was Superman's arch-enemy, Sousuke. I mean... well, okay, so Superman had a lot of arch-enemies, but you kinda do, too. Okay, you know Sherlock Holmes, though. Right?"

"Of course I do. Not personally, of course, but I have read -"

"Okay, shut up. Professor Moriarty was Sherlock Holmes' sworn nemesis, who he could never outsmart, but HE died too."

"Nearly taking Holmes -"

"Again, shut up. My POINT, Sherlock, is that just because you haven't been able to defeat Gauron in the past, doesn't mean it's impossible. Doesn't mean it's never gonna happen. And who knows? Maybe it DID happen. You're not a little kid anymore, Sousuke. I don't know what happened with him before, to make you all jumpy about him, but he was only human."

If you can believe it, he actually looked like he was going to argue with me.

But he didn't.

I pushed on, a little more carefully now. "And if you ever. Y' know, feel like telling me what did go on, I'm here. I mean... so yeah, you're kinda weird, and you cause more problems than you solve, and I think you like embarrassing the hell out of me. But you know..." I swallowed, a little shy suddenly. "I'm only alive because you like getting into trouble. You've saved my life more times than I can count, and... I don't really know how to say thanks, or how to pay you back."

His voice was muted when he answered. "I know that I cause you a lot of trouble, but... I'm sorry. And thank you. I guess I'm just not used to people wanting to hear my problems. And - maybe someday you will," he added.

That didn't sound very promising.